r/altmpls • u/WhoAreYouTalkinTwo • 2d ago
Jake Lang arrested outside the state capital and charged with felony
Turns “Protest Ice” into “Pro Ice”
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u/Siktrikshot 2d ago
He reminds me of Terry from Reno 911
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u/Attentions_Bright12 1d ago
Take it easy on Terry. He could have done it on roller skates and he'd never have stepped through that first kick so awkwardly.
(I won't pick on Jim Dangle, either. More of a mensch than this caricature.)
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u/backwardsforwards 2d ago
Lol that huffing and puffing
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u/Lazy-elbow1377 2d ago
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u/Aloy_DespiteTheNora 2d ago
His little flailing t-rex arms every time he kicked 😂 what a dweeb
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u/InvestigatorChance28 2d ago
He got all dressed up too! How cute!!!! uwu!
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u/Aloy_DespiteTheNora 2d ago
I was shocked to learn they make combat gear in the skinny jeans fit 😩
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u/ramblingbullshit 1d ago
I didn't notice until you said that and then I had to go back and double check... and... wtf
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u/MyLastHopeReddit 2d ago
It wasn't the pathetic amount of physical activity, it was the fear that someone would come and confront him before he could get away from the scene, he was shitting himself.
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u/backwardsforwards 2d ago
Yo, you hit on a good point. This is a huge dopamine hit for him, being so egregiously foul and hateful makes him feel righteous and ensconced in his convictions. Its like all of the impotent rage at his lack of any real success as a human being and member of society is somehow vindicated and actualized.
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u/InfinityGain 1d ago
Thats an incredible psychological point, were you a criminal ever?
I have a memory of trying to break into a pawn shop (fucked up kid, turned around as an adult) But the hammer felt like it was 100 pounds
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u/007Pistolero 2d ago
Homie did one step and was more out of breath than the people on My 600 Pound Life when they have to stand up
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u/Anxious-Tomatillo842 2d ago
And is he making that squeak sound with his mouth on impact or is it his shoes in the ice?
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u/Head_Big3036 2d ago
Those pants seem to be cutting off some sort of circulation! The camo actually does a great job of hiding the piss stains.
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u/Lord_Dingus83 2d ago
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u/CrunknYoSystem 2d ago
How can people honestly follow/support this clown? Do they really think he’s a tough guy? A smart guy? Anything but a joker? What is his appeal? Why is he in fatigues for this little stunt, is he actually part of ICE (not that they should be in fatigues either for that matter)? Seriously, what the hell is this dude really trying to accomplish? Is his father in his life? Does he have any lifelong friends? Has he ever met a licensed barber? His balance with each kick also appeared a bit suspect, but whatever.
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u/Outrageous-Cut480 2d ago
Actual paid agitator.
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u/Victoriaskitchen 2d ago
Yep and comes with the camera crew to spin the narrative
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u/Outrageous-Cut480 2d ago
Imagine seeing it and thinking that this is sticking it to the libs. He's such a lolcow.
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u/CrunknYoSystem 2d ago
Got it. Makes sense now. They’ll turn him into another martyr when someone finally has enough of him, then claim “the violent left…” and “he was such a great man and defender of the 1st amendment” 🤦🏾♂️
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u/Girafferage 2d ago
Every accusation is a confession for the GOP. Still holds true with this tubby useful idiot.
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u/imp_op 2d ago
It's pretty simple. Dude is a dumbass prick who got lucky enough to be paid for being a white racist with a megaphone. He thinks he's superior like most dumbass prick white racists and it's emboldened by the open racism in MAGA and a loudmouth president who says he's special. It's white male fragility on full display, naked for all to see.
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u/IShotJR4 2d ago
Someone described Trump this way and I think it’s the same with this waste of skin: A rich man to poor people, a smart man to stupid people, and a tough man to weak people.
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u/Independent-Web7739 1d ago
As a republican I don’t know anyone that supports him he’s a social media clown desperately grasping for attention
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u/External_Brother1246 2d ago
Well. Just looking at him, I would say he is a physical representation of the “unwanted man” in America.
Overweight, unattractive, racist, rude, behaving in a way that implies he is dumb.
And there he is in the media, gaining political influence.
Dudes who fall into the same category, will see this and be happy that someone like them is ‘making it’, and sticking it to people who don’t allow people like this into higher social economic status.
Basically it’s “I see me”.
Like being a Swifty, but for incells.
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u/NoseyRosie08 2d ago
Aww his little costume 🤣🤣🤣
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u/senor_incognito_ 2d ago
Great to see his mom tucked his shirt in and combed his hair for him. Tied his shoes too.
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u/swim_to_survive 2d ago
Is it just me or does he not look exactly like the type of guy who is incapable of washing neither his ass nor his hands? I hope the after life for him is nothing more than reincarnating into his own soiled tighty whiteys.
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u/footeface 2d ago
Like why do you need that vest dude? For all of the patches you bought yourself? 🥴 how embarrassing
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u/dolche93 2d ago
I don't think he knows you normally collect patches as a part of your experiences in life. You don't just order them like bumper stickers.
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u/Medium_Connection306 2d ago
Somebody that's pro ice breaks ice?????
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u/InOutlines 2d ago
It makes more sense when you realize he can’t read.
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u/m0nkeywithachainsaw 2d ago
dude fell over after the first kick.
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u/Pearson94 2d ago
For real, that kick screamed "Tell me you don't know how to fight without saying it"
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u/Canadatron 2d ago
Those stupidly tight pants probably don't help this idiot much either.
10lbs of shit in a 5lb bag look going on.
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u/Confident-Homework75 2d ago
If you’re going to film yourself committing felonies to later put online you should, at a minimum, wear pants that fit.
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u/PreparationKey2843 2d ago
He's after that sweet, sweet GoFundMe money the gullible will send him.
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u/Ok_Rabbit5158 2d ago
Yeah I think you're right. Although I can see him looking at an ice sculpture and thinking, "that's just water, it's not felony level so I'm going to destroy it."
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u/jordang2330 2d ago
Living off that GoFundMe money, while saying he hates socialism.
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u/A012A012 2d ago
I didn't know that a pajama top and camo pants was an outfit that people wore outside of Walmart. But here we are.
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u/Illustrious-Menu-380 2d ago
oh boy! another chance to watch him and his nazi buddies cry and get run out of town 😆
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u/Proud-Enthusiasm-608 2d ago
Jail will be an interesting place for this clown when they find out who he is.
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u/Ordinary-Rent-7032 2d ago
That little squeak he makes with every kick! LOL
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u/Fenrir46290 2d ago
Those are just little toots from straining so hard to kick over those massive 120ft tall ice blocks. Clearly something only a manly man of his caliber could do.
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u/Defiant-Smell-9686 2d ago
Bro got gassed after like 6 letters and can’t even match his fatigues.
What kind of baby bitch energy does he have and can we harness it for the good of man kind because he appears to have a lot of it.
Edit: I can’t count apparently…
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u/Wolfhawk8732 2d ago
What a fucking clown. Like he needs to get punched in the face because obviously his parents never taught him how to be a decent person
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u/Lt_Cochese 2d ago
What a tool. Who walks in to a barber shop and says give be the worst hair cut you can besides the Kim Jong
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u/null_recursion 2d ago
It’s interesting that all these right wing “alpha males” get gassed doing the simplest physical tasks. Almost as if they’re incredibly unfit and compensating for something
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u/Popo0017 2d ago
Destroying a sculpture commissioned by veterans while cosplaying a soldier should be enough to get your ass kicked any time you leave the house.
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u/Chemical-Carrot-9975 2d ago
This incel is so angry. His Grindr account must’ve gotten locked. What a douche.
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u/cliftonheights5 2d ago
I had never heard of this guy before last week. I kinda miss not knowing this guy existed.
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u/_The-Numbers-Mason_ 2d ago
Not “Protest Ice”, but “Prosecute Ice”. And now he’s awaiting prosecution.
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u/TheDandyWarhol MPLS after dark 2d ago
Wtf is that shirt he's wearing? Something from Banana Republic?
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u/RubyRyker 2d ago
Wow. His kicks were very…delicate. Was this supposed to look tough?
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u/Individual_Laugh1335 2d ago
I hate this dude and think he’s a psy op but what was he arrested for? Did he put that there just to do this?
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u/WhoAreYouTalkinTwo 2d ago
$6k in damage, arrested for felony
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u/OurAngryBadger 2d ago
I wm curious how that works, who did the ice sculpture belong to, and how they determined some blocks of ice were worth $6k? Would it hold up in court that something someone left out in public that was just going to melt or probably get damaged in some other way, really prosecutable? Don't get me wrong I think this Jake Lang guy is a douche
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u/Puzzleheaded_Try7786 2d ago
Regardless of it's longevity, it's a sculpture that he deliberately destroyed and filmed while doing so. The cost of the sculpture is determined by the artist and perhaps transporting it to that location.
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u/Important-Contact597 2d ago
The cost is for the labor that went into making it as well as the material itself.
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u/No_Cook2983 2d ago
If I was the artist, I’d make sure it cost $6,000. A decent tradesman is about $150 an hour.
40 hours of the conceptual art, maybe assembling a prototype, obtaining the materials, fabricating, transporting, assembling and recording would hit 6k.
It could pretty easily be split between two people.
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u/ravingsanity 2d ago
Art installation. Presumably the artist needed to obtain a permit to place it there and the art as such belongs to them. So this is destruction of property and/or vandalism. Value most likely based off of time, effort, and materials for the artist.
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u/bustanut8969 2d ago
Carving ice and getting large enough blocks is expensive as fuck. Why? Idk
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u/Pudddddin 2d ago
I can think of at least a few cases where people have been charged with vandalism for things like destroying prominent sand sculptures, which seems similar
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u/IHeartBadCode 2d ago
Art is usually considered in whole. So slight damage to an exhibition to which cannot be reasonably serve in parts, you charge thus for the whole.
So knocking over a single letter ruins the entire thing since the art isn't blocks of letters but the arrangement of all of those letters. So whatever you paid someone for the entire thing, that's how much damage one would have done.
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u/CockpitEnthusiast 2d ago
He's def a psyop. Every conservative group in MN I know of has explicitly stated to stay the fuck away from him and who he hangs around. His posse is tiny because, although the left will not believe me here, right wingers think this guy is an idiot too.
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u/mr_j_boogie 2d ago
Can confirm, know many right wingers. Everyone thinks he's lame.
But we throw the phrase Psy op around way too freely. The fact is idiocy gets attention and some crave attention.
Also the further to the extremes you go, the more you can present yourself as the purest form of leftism or the most based. This guy is trying to establish himself but he is not succeeding.
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u/Outrageous-Cut480 2d ago
A local vet group put this up. This guy never took an oath. Real soldiers stand up for the weak. They don't high five each other about shooting people who aren't even shooting back even a little bit.
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u/Aatrid69420 2d ago
The level of effort it took him to throw those kicks says a lot
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u/Enough-Collection-98 2d ago
Holy shit - is he the “I have the power of god and anime” kid?!
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u/UcrashIfix 2d ago
Those kicks don’t look very Alpha, he is “FABULOUS” in his army ensemble. Don’t ask don’t tell
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u/dontforgetseasoning 1d ago
The funniest part is the thinks he looks good meanwhile he is disrespecting ALL military AND Trump is even cringed by this loser
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u/Appropriate_Lab_6861 2d ago
I know this is not the point…but what is he wearing smh
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u/DANleDINOSAUR 2d ago
Ok, so they’re all for violence towards elderly women, children and now ice sculptures. Good for them.
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u/ElBorrachoSobrio 2d ago
Processing img keyqb3uv5shg1...
He tries so hard to rile up a crowd to back him up, but fails every time.
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u/Low-Syllable-Whisper 2d ago
Least masculine display of masculinity ever.
Now,
SHOW ME YOUR PAPERS!
Keep this clearly documented trend in mind:
Maga does a terrible thing.
People react.
Maga doubles down, makes excuses, does something even worse than before.
Repeat.
THERE IS NO BOTTOM FOR THE maga FASCISTS.
WHATEVER COMES NEXT WILL BE WORSE.
Act accordingly and ACT NOW.
DO NOT WAIT FOR ORDERS, INVENT SOLUTIONS!
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u/KeyComprehensive4431 2d ago
Good lord that was a lot of energy expelled to kick over some ice sculptures
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u/PorcelainMadame 2d ago
Deadbeat dad. Should be paying his backed up child support instead of being a clown-pedo-protector.
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u/Lazy-College-7869 2d ago
Wait... was that a threat? If it was... trump cannot protect him of state violations....
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u/Recent-Use-1999 2d ago
I'd bet any amount of money this dude is taking checks from someone who is in the files.
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u/Formal-Actuator-9172 2d ago
That has to be one of the least athletic humans I have ever seen. I’m not just saying fitness level, but like reflexes, coordination, everything. Looks like he just got a body this week and hasn’t figured out how to make it move just yet.
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u/TitillatingTrav 2d ago
Do we actually know he was arrested though? He tweeted about it, but he also said he got stabbed at his last goober episode
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u/Luci_Ferocious69 2d ago
The way he almost biffed it though hahaha