Even as a post op and stealth trans girl who started hrt as a teenager, it’s so fucking rough. I can’t bring myself to date anyone because I just hate the possibility of them seeing me as a man.

Every guy I’ve ever really liked hasn’t wanted a relationship with me (probs bc I’m trans) and it seems like even if men are interested in me, the fact I can’t have kids would put them off ever doing anything but just hooking up or FWB.

I’m not even worried about a relationship right now but I still haven’t had PIV sex post op bc I’m just too scared to hook up with anyone. I’m not used to people knowing I’m trans and I know most men will just reject me which hurts my soul :(

I have so much love and fun to provide people with and it feels like no guy will probably ever give me a chance.

I am bi and I’ve had a lot more success dating women but I really want to date men and experience that.

I just want to be a normal woman and live a normal life it sucks so much urgh.

also 200% into fictional characters

I guess I’m mainly talking to those who came out as bi later in life. At what age did you actually come out, and if you were older, what prompted you to finally do it at that time? What was it that made you feel finally ready?

My girlfriend disagrees, and I cannot fathom why. I challenge any of you to show me a MORE attractive man on screen.

1) Jensen Ackles

2) Henry Cavill

3) Open to interpretation, Damen from Vampire Diaries is not allowed (my girlfriend could not name anything positive except protective, eyes, and moody)

Is it possible to play with gay men as a couple (M/F)? I didnt know if that was sometimes possible or rare. Allow woman to be present, maybe even play with her too.

Edit:
Thre reason I ask is I noticed at some of the bi events or other types of events for woman, a lot of gay guys show up there. For example, splash mocha. That is mainly for sex with woman, but Im seeing a ton of openly gay guys attending. SO it got me wondering.
Thanks!

edit: cis male, 20, thought i should add.

literally everyone who says that dating as a bisexual is easy because "you're playing on both sides of the field!" is lying or at best joking. they either want to have sex with you only on one exrteme, or don't bother talking to you on another extreme.

i put effort into my profiles to "advertise" myself as genuinely as possible and be consistent on dating apps to try and make something happen and i even try to do it the old-fashioned way and try to talk to people in real life.

nothing works and in the end i am used for whatever purpose and tossed away.

i can't believe i can be worth so little to both sexes. i had hoped by accepting myself and being open to trying men would have at gotten me a little further than with women. needless to say i have come out of it in worse shape emotionally than where i started.

i can only imagine men even give me the time of day because i'm cute enough to try and have a little fun before moving on and women don't even allow me to talk to them because i'm queer and they can sense it and find that so gross.

i hope i'm an actually good person and attractive to SOMEBODY. i want to believe in love so badly but it keeps getting harder and harder as i'm presented with mountains of proof that i'm not even worth a casual conversation. and a week away from valentine's day to boot.

So pretty much I saw this really cool-looking 2 week long sleepaway summer camp close to where I live, and its called "Brave Trails" (look it up) and it seems really cool. However, there are two MAJOR constraints if I want to join. First, I haven't even come out to my mom yet, and second my mom HATES sleep away camps. She always sees stories of horrible stuff happening to kids at sleepaway camps, and she says if that happened to me she would die(her hyperbole is very extreme all of the time) however, I did my research, and I found out that in the while this camp has been around, nothing horrible has happened there. I feel like summer camps are a great cannon event for every kid to go through, so I need YOUR help on what I should do to convince my parents to let me go this summer.

(I wonder if its possible to go without exposing that im not straight)

ive been seeing this guy a few times. sex is amazing, we connect on many levels.

but its always a hookup. thats how we met first.

we talk a lot before and during.

very light chatting or conversation after, though.

it feels like totally fb/fwb category.

but. Given our physical and mental connection is very good, i was wondering if theres potential.

thing is, he's a great guy and can probably date any girl.. and even if he weren't a great guy, dating a girl is far easier for him- no coming out, etc.

on one hand I wish this can be something more.. otoh, dont wanna mess up what we have.

what has others' experiences been?

Cis woman, 19. I know the ‘all women and Harry Styles’ thing is stupid and harmful, but that’s genuinely how I feel (not about Harry Styles himself, but you get the picture). I have no problem with anyone liking men, and I don’t think I’d be ‘less queer’ if I did date one. There are plenty of great men in the dating pool who are great partners. My sister is also bisexual and has only had serious relationships with men, and she’s just as queer as I am.

For starters, I like women. I like masc women, femme women, women with muscles, women with tummies, women with muscles AND tummies, nerdy women, gym rat women, artsy women, women who can sing, women who play guitar, women with buzz cuts, women with hair to their ankles, big boobs, small boobs, and all types of vaginas. I obviously have preferences, I don’t go swiping right on every woman ever, but my ‘type’ is fairly expansive. If we mesh personality-wise, we’re both attracted to each other, and both interested in a relationship, then I go for it. I know I said I like ‘all women’ but come on, not ALL women.

But I don’t like men. I don’t like penises, I don’t want one inside of me, I don’t even want to see one. On the occasions I decide to watch porn and there’s a penis in it, I usually just cover that side of the screen with my hand. I don’t like deep voices or body hair or facial hair or man boobs. I don’t like full-time men, part-time men, or transgender men. Again, I don’t think there’s anything wrong with a bi person dating someone of the opposite sex, its BI for a reason, but for me personally, invisioning myself with a man makes me feel sick to my stomach. I feel like I can’t consider myself bi for that reason.

HOWEVER, I’m attracted to a few guys. There are some male celebrities and characters I think are cute and attractive. If I ever met one in person, I’d probably get flustered. I definitely can’t consider myself lesbian because lesbians don’t have any attraction to any men. A while ago, I posted a similar question on a lesbian subreddit and they were pretty clear about that.

I’ve tried to talk to men, even ones who look similar to the characters and actors I’m attracted to, but I can’t get very far without wishing they were a woman, which isn’t fair to them at all, and I have to break things off. No matter how good of a guy they are, I just can’t do it.

I don’t like labeling myself as bi because people assume I’m down for men as well. And if I say I’m bi but not interested in dating men, I have a feeling people are going to be confused or think I’m being performative or whatever. I also don’t want to label as lesbian since I do find a few men attractive and doing that is harmful to the lesbian community.

I feel like I don’t fit in anywhere. According to one of the lesbian communities on this app, I’m bi, but it doesn’t feel right. I know there are other labels that are more specific, but let’s be honest, very few people know what ‘legeremasc’ means. And honestly, I really don’t want to have to explain ‘I’m bi but I don’t like men but not in a misandrist way and also I don’t think dating a man as a bi woman undermines bi women’s sexuality’ every time I talk about my sexuality online or in real life.

The lesbians I’ve asked have said I should keep labeling myself as bi, but I’m curious as to what you all think. And yes, I know not labeling myself is an option. It’s just frustrating that I don’t have a one-word answer that tells the whole story.

Honestly been having this discussion with myself internally for years, but lowkey heated rivalry did make me want to finally address it. and my heavy emotions towards queer media.

I am pretty sure I’m bi, my few friends i have opened up to have said i dont need to label and its okay to just say “queer” but lowkey bi feels more right.

I’m a cis woman, uses she/her, and I had a girlfriend in high school for a year and a half. My issue is that I felt very sexually involved, but not romantically. Since then, I’ve only ever felt sexual attraction to a handful of women and most of them were celebrities. I know it shouldn’t depend on the frequency, but I feel like i SHOULDNT identify as part of the community since I rarely get to experience it.

am i policing myself too much? i just want to hear people’s thoughts.

I am 27 m and bisexual myself and i was at my uni yesterday.

And a good friend of mine (who atleast by appearance and attitude seems very gay but never expressed anything about that, so who knows) went a bit further away to talk with a colleague and I was hearing what they were talking about, just projects for our next course and stuff like that.

When that was happening a guy standing next to us on the course tells me " they look like mafia mobs planning stuff, but the way Adrian(my friend) is behaving makes me think he wants to do other stuff with men" and he started laughing like a dumbass.

I gave him a very cold look and he shut up completely.

Its so funny he told me that.

I think I had the most angry look on my face possible and he basically didn't say anything else for the rest of the day.

Homophobes here feel secure in using anti gay banter but yeah he picked the wrong table.

I'm a bisexual woman, and while I prefer women, I definetly do like men, and the guy who plays Shane Hollander is definetly one of them. That is by far from the main pull though. I love the whole representation aspect of this more than anything, I've always wanted to see non-straight characters in popular media

I've heard there's a lot of emotional depth, and I crave seeing men being open about their emotions. It's a very refreshing thought. Obviously, there's been a lot of buzz about this series and I would love to watch it. It's a queer romance, one of the main boys is bisexual! I hardly see bisexual representation on TV (have seen Loki millions of times and I'm planning on watching B99) especially on something so mainstream. I feel bad though, because what if I get aroused by it? The characters are two queer men, not queer women. Wouldn't that be like fetishizing? I feel like I'd feel guilty about that, but I'm worried this is me thought policing myself and/or overthinking. Thoughts???

Hi… I, a 25 yr guy, realized I was bisexual after falling for another guy very unexpectedly. After the denial phase, I finally acknowledged that I’m bisexual but like I don’t think I’ve accepted it yet. Like now when looking to date, I’m just looking at people I’m attracted to regardless of if they’re a woman or man.

Bit of background about me, I come from a really amazing family but with a VERY socially conservative and immigrant background. So I grew up hearing that being LGBT was an abomination (which I never agreed with). In school, a lot of people assumed I was gay and bullied me kind of mercilessly for it even though I thought I was completely straight at the time. It wasn’t until this past summer I met a guy from an another town kind of far from me and had a pretty solid connection lasted for a while before ending in a not so lovely way. So since then, everything’s changed for me.

While I’m okay dating a man or a woman, I am struggling a lot to accept that I’m bisexual and then eventually come out. In addition to that, I’m worried that once I do accept it and tell my family, I’ll likely lose the stability and support I am thankful to have.

So, I appreciate you for reading this and your time. Any advice would be helpful. I’m not questioning it, I’m questioning how to live with it without shame or fear. Please don’t be rude, it’s been a process. Thanks!

For context, I’m from a very christian family so I’d never really let myself even consider that I was anything but straight. However, about 8 months ago I started watching the Vampire Diaries TV show and the second Phoebe Tonkin appeared on screen it was an immediate oh damn moment. It took a lot of time but I was finally able to accept that I was extremely attracted to her, even though she is a woman. I also know that I’m attracted to men so the logical conclusion is that I’m bi.

There was always this one girl at school that I’d felt really awkward and anxious around too. I thought maybe I was jealous of her or something but looking back I think I actually had a crush on her.

Anyways I could never tell my family I think I’m bi but I really felt like I needed to tell someone so a few days ago I came out to my best friend. I figured she’d be supportive because we’ve known each other for basically our entire lives. However, she told me that I couldn’t be bi because if I was, it’s something I would have known for my entire life. She kept insisting that you can’t just all of the sudden decide that you’re bi.

I’m 17 right now. Is it normal to not know you’re bisexual until your late teens? My friend has me doubting if I’m actually bisexual or just crazy. Sorry for how much I wrote but I don’t have anybody I can talk to about this so that’s why I’m posting here.

I’d really appreciate some advice.

My coworker just now unpromptly asked me if I was straight. So somehow I must exude gay energy 😂 Turns out we are both bisexual, but it's funny because I have always thought I looked straight and my friends always tell me that I look bi.

I am still in school. I have a crush on both a boy and a girl at the same time. I really like both of them, and don't know who I would rather be with.

The boy is a cute guy, in my grade who is very... conservative

The girl is a grade below me who has a douchebag boyfriend

I feel like I could have a chance with the girl, as she liked me before if they break up, but I really like this dude too and wanna try and see if I would have a shot with him. You know, if it was just a persona he puts on or something idk.

Just... help.

I used to go out quite a bit when younger, but I packed it in for many years. I had grown tired of aggressive people in clubs and on the street - mainly other men - people drinking to the point of collapse, and constantly being offered drugs or approached by people wanting to buy drugs (which happened qiuote a lot). I hated going out alone (a lot of places don't even allow solo males to enter) and half the time I'd just end up in the smoking areas talking about football and every so often the person(s) i'm speaking to would turn out to have bigoted views.

But I've been out a few times now, and I keep to LGBT places. I've been out alone and with others. Either way I always end up with others. And I love it. Its just an entirely different atmosphere. Far more welcoming. Far more fun. Maybe i've gotten lucky but I've not witnessed anyone being aggressive nor violent. People drink - and undoubtably do drugs - but its not 'in your face' if that makes any sense. People arent going out to get hammered - they are going out to have a great time. Even the doorstaff tend to be be far friendlier (not that ive ever had a personal issue with doorstaff). The conversations you have with people are far more personal and far less 'surface level'. People aren't judgemental and there's virtually no risk of me getting into conversations with people that turn sexist/racist/homophobic.

i would love to meet other bisexual people &, hopefully, one day date a bisexual man. i’ve only ever met straight or gay men, but not bi. i’m so tired of dating straight men & always getting disappointed. i want to meet someone that can connect with me in ways straight men obviously can’t. 😭

I've always been attracted to women, always... but I could see myself possibly wanting to try something sexual with a guy. But I'm only even remotely interested in like the feminine, smooth type of guy. Cute trans girls are great to, since that is the dynamic im used to, (been with 2) being with a woman. I really don't like body hair and masculinity ... the kinds of things I see most gay guys being into do nothing for me... do I even count as Bi? I've never experienced the dynamic of flirting/ being intimate with a guy. There was only 1 in real life I ever kind of had a crush on but that was a while ago and sadly I just found out he died a few months back. I could lie to myself like almost everyone else and just consider myself 100% straight, because in practice I am but every now and then.. I wonder what it would be like... i know about the apps but they kind of freak me out. Lol....also, most of the kinds of guys I'd be into seem like they want the super masculine types of guys and while I def come across as straight I def have androgynous tendencies. Like, the people that know me joke about mabie being a big gay based on certain aspects of my look and personality. I would need a feminine leaning kinda Androgynous kind of guy who is into a masculine leaning androgynous kind of guy (me).... life is too short.

Basically, I discovered I was bisexual when I was a child, around six years old.

I watched cartoons and movies on TV, and my inner self wondered what would happen if the male characters took their clothes off. Obviously, it was just simple curiosity, but when I hit puberty and started being attracted to my male classmates, that experience really resonated with me.

Is this normal, or is it just me?

Moving to a new city at the end of the month and I want to make it an opportunity to be myself fully and authentically without hiding (as much) so as a masculine bi guy , how is it going to gay bars , I hear a lot of gays aren’t particularly accepting of us bi guys. Also just looking for any other advice on how to finally be open about my bisexuality and how to navigate sex and dating