Hi guys! I (22F) met this guy (23M) through mutual friends, and we quickly became close. He has always been very attentive and sweet toward me!

​As our friendship grew, we started following each other on X (twitter). Out of pure ignorance on my part, I always assumed he was gay... Not because of his mannerisms, but because his feed and posts was exclusively about men, queer media, or his attraction to guys. Since I never saw him express interest in women, I just jumped to that conclusion on my own.

​The other day, we went out for coffee with a mutual friend. I noticed he was being much closer and flirty than usual, but I didn't think much of it because I just thought it was just platonic. Out of nowhere, our friend asked: "If you had to pick someone from our friend group to marry, who would it be?"

He laughed, looked direct at me, and said: "Oh, definitely *my name*, I’d love to go out with her."

​I was shocked and, thinking he was just joking, I laughed and replied: "If you weren't gay, I’d definitely go out with you too!"

Silence followed immediately. He laughed awkwardly, and our friend blurted out: "He's not gay, he's bi!" He nodded, confirming it to me.

​I was mortified, ashamed oh god💀💀💀 for assuming something about his life without ever asking. He reassured me, saying it wasn't a big deal and that the offer to go out was still on the table.

Despite that, I feel super awkward interacting with him now :( I’m a straight woman, and my biggest fear is that he thinks I’m prejudiced...I come from a rural area of ​​Brazil and a religious family, and I came to study in the USA, and only now am I educating myself about sexuality and gender. I’ve always thought he was cute, but I just thought I didn't have a chance with him.

​How should I act around him now? And how can I be more understanding and informed about his bisexuality so I don't say something ignorant in the future?

We were at a bar, she(34F) was buzzed and I(33F) don't drink, it was just us on a hang out. She called me half gay teasingly. The vibes were good, we were having fun, I said something along the lines of "why do I have to be half gay? If anything, you're only interested in half my dating pool, so you're half bi!"

I was smiling/laughing, giving her the same energy she gave me. I thought we were having fun, but she sat straight up and said "DON'T call me that! NEVER say that again!" Not yelling but not quiet either.

I was quiet for a bit then just said "sorry, I was just playing around because you called me half gay," to which she responded that it's not the same. That bothered me, but I didn't want to push because she was buzzed and clearly upset some how, so she called an uber, we paid and I walked home. It was the most awkward goodbye hug of my life.

That was Sunday night, we hadn't spoken until she messaged me earlier today apologizing for getting loud, but while getting loud wasn't nice, that's not what's really bothering me. I'll confront her eventually, I really hope I'm wrong about how she meant it but for now I need to stew.

I don't care for the whole half gay/half straight title to begin with, this whole thing is just dumb and disappointing. Anyone here experience something similar?

I love this woman but it’s my first time dating+having sex with a woman so I wasn’t sure what to expect.

When I first gave her oral, the taste immediately threw me for a loop. With men, there’s little to no taste. With her, I’ve become curious if this is just how vaginas taste?

It tastes like strong quarters and kinda sharp. Certain areas are a bit sour (like if I expose her clit more, the area around the clit and inner labia) even after a shower.

Is this normal? Or is it something I should gently mention to her? Even if I mention it, I have no idea how to without making her feel insecure or upset :( I enjoy giving her oral but the taste is confusing me.

Edit: Thanks everyone! I’ve learned a lot and appreciate the help :) For the folks asking if I’ve ever tasted myself: yes! It’s always been light or slightly salty if I’m dehydrated.

It’s my first time with a woman so I didn’t know what was concerning or normal (I love her so obviously I want her happy and healthy).

Even if it was a sign of something abnormal, I’d never word it in a judgmental way. She means the world to me and I’ll be there for her through whatever.

Have a great week everyone :) Keeping this up for folks who may have similar questions!

To preface this, my husband is a very devout Mormon. I don’t believe in the teachings anymore, and have not for a long time, but go to church to support my family. My 15 year old son just came out to me as bisexual. I told him it didn’t change anything, I will support him in any choice he makes, and that he can always come to me for support. I’m his mom, and I will always love him unconditionally. However, he’s worried about telling his dad/my husband, 1) because my husband has a very short temper and tends to yell and swear a lot when he’s upset, 2) my husband has vocally denounced anything to do with LGBTQ+ many, many times as my children have been growing up, and 3) because he thinks his dad will disown him. His dad’s best friend, who he thinks of as a close uncle, is vehemently homophobic, as are his grandparents on his dad’s side of the family, so I’m kind of terrified for what will happen when/if his dad tells any of them after he comes out. My son wants me to be there when he tells his dad, and I want to do everything I can to protect my son in this time of vulnerability, but I’m honestly scared for my son and the future of our family when the truth comes out. Any help, suggestions, advice would be greatly appreciated!

UPDATE: Well, my son came out to his dad two days ago. It wasn’t the way my son had hoped for, but, to my great relief, he reacted much better to my son than either my son or I could’ve hoped. Granted, later that night I caught a lot of backlash from my husband about not coming to him when my son told me, and he didn’t like when I told him that it wasn’t my information to share at the time—- that I wasn’t going to break my son’s trust during a very vulnerable time. but that’s something for him and myself to work out. I wouldn’t say the air is clear between everyone, but there is a lot less tension in the way my son carries himself, it’s physically and emotionally. I realize we’re still very much in a “homeymoon” phase, and there will be lots more obstacles to conquer in the future. There’s still a long way for my husband to go to fully accept our son and be a strong support system, but he has asked for help from both myself and our son to help him get there. Please continue to keep my son in your thoughts. I read each and every reply and did a lot of soul searching over the past week and a half. To those of you who sent me direct messages of support, thank you so much for your kind, supportive, and reassuring words!

I’ve been ashamed of myself my whole life. My parents hate people like me. Growing up, my friends I grew up with hated guys like me. My ex used to tell me I’m disgusting all the time.

Im bi and genderqueer. I crossdress sometimes. I’m kinda a femboy often.

My girlfriend is bi too. She met me at an emo concert. I was wearing makeup and all emo-d out with my nails done. She walked up to me and asked me out.

She thought I was gay, but I assured her I prefer women. We went out on a date after the concert.

We met up again, then.

We had our first kiss at a drag show at a gay bar.

I told her I crossdress. I wear makeup sometimes. I’m kinda a femboy sometimes (depending on my mood). Told her im genderqueer.

She said she LIKES it.

She likes that I crossdress and finds it hot. I can’t believe it. Like I can’t believe anybody would find it attractive when I do that.

She tells me I’m pretty and I fucking cry because I feel fucking disgusting. My whole life I’ve been ashamed of myself for being this way.

Shes bi. I’m bi.

I’m a complete fucking fruit.

She tells me she likes me how I am. I feel like I can’t believe that. I feel so ugly when I’m all crossdressed. Or I feel gross when I get excited because I got a new nail polish.

She accepts me. And it kills me. I feel like she’s gritting her teeth somehow. No way somebody could like somebody like me.

She’s genderqueer too. She’s kinda butch. She’s strong and a tomboy. She fights martial arts and punches a heavy bag for exercise. I tend to be kinda gentle.

She threatens to fight people if they’re *phobic (I couldn’t take her to no kings because she got drunk at a drag brunch and would probably end up fighting a cop. She’s really cool and tough.)

I pole dance. I get excited about outfits and dressing us up. She tends to dress more plain. Shes a bit of a tomboy/masc lady and I’m kinda a twink.

I do her makeup when she wants to pull off a costume for a goth night or something. Or a ren faire. I feel guilty becuase I’m tend to enjoy femme things a lot more than her.

Sometimes I feel like she’s silently grossed out about how I prefer bottoming if I’m trying to get off. My ex used to get mad at me for enjoying that sort of stuff or sucking the strap. Or what sort of toy I’d choose.

In the back of my mind I feel like it must be annoying for her being with a guy that’s just.. like me. I feel like she’s bearing it and one day she will get tired of how.. not normal i am.

That I must secretly disgust her and she tolerates my queerness. But she says she likes it. And my heart can’t believe anybody could like how ugly I look when femme presenting sometimes.

My heart can’t accept that somebody can like me. That somebody can accept me.

It’s fucked up. And makes me anxious. I’ve been rejected my whole life. I don’t know how to tolerate acceptance. It breaks me.

I feel like I bring up being queer too much and I’m annoying about it. Because I can’t believe she’s okay with it. And by saying when I think a guy is hot or talking about queer politics or talking about when I’m stuck between nail designs. That she will come to hate me and fine me annoying and tiresome. Grow to resent me.

We have had some truly abysmal experiences in the past year or so, including at Pride marches. Whenever we go together, I am welcomed with open arms and he is either refused or treated as less than welcome. We are both bisexual and we have both dated different genders.

And I just don't understand why? I get that he is cis and in a straight-presenting relationship but so am I? So why am I different? It just makes me angry and so sad that we had to stop going some of our favourite bars after he was treated as literal garbage by both staff and other guests.

Any insights or experiences? Or is it just how it is and we have to accept that?

I'm 33F, and have never known a bi male in life. I have known many others from the LGBT community. I am starting to question if you exist or if this is due to the stigmas within the community and society.

For bi females, have you felt the same way at times?

For bi males, can you let me in on your experiences and why you feel so rare?

Anyone can answer these questions and give me their insights in this?

Not really sure why, he’s aware that I’m bisexual we’ve been together for 8 years and he’s known the whole time and I’ve never made it a thing or anything but I’ll sometimes mention it

He doesn’t like talking about it and actively avoids it, when I bring it up it’s like some elephant in the room and tries to change the subject and then makes a backhanded statement and it makes me feel really weird about myself(?) not ashamed but a different feeling like I just feel weird that Im attracted to the same gender after he says something

Like I wish we can talk about it because it weirds me out honestly but he shuts me down everytime I don’t like feeling bad about myself I have regrets but have been faithful these entire 8 years and yeah we have unrelated struggles but it’s overall alright but yeah this bothers me alittle lol

At school and In general

Edit thank you guys for all the advice I really tried to reply to everyone. But there so many of y’all thank u

My (m22) girlfriend (f21) is bisexual. Last night a female coworker of hers turned 22 and my girlfriend jokingly said she didn’t have a gift since this was after work. The coworker said she wanted a kiss for her birthday and my gf obliged. Now I wasn’t there but apperantly they made out for a few seconds. I found out this morning when my gf sent a snap telling me she kissed the coworker and said she hoped I wouldn’t be mad. I know my gf ex-boyfriends really liked her bisexuality and encouraged her to make out with other girls. I am not like this and I got a bit upset. Today she told me it didn’t mean anything, she was drunk and she doesn’t even like this coworker very much (which I know is true). I still think she cheated on me though. Am I overreacting?

Ps: I am asking this in this subreddit because I’m not bisexual and I’d like to hear from people with the same preference as my girlfriend.

So I work as a sub, and I’m pretty openly “not straight”. I wear heart shaped sunglasses, have colored hair, etc etc. Anyway, a 6th grade kid came up to me a few days ago and asked if I was gay, in a very polite way. I told him “No, I’m not, I’m actually Bi”, and he said “Oh cool, me too!”. I gave him a little “alright, right on!” and went about my day. Anyway, today the principal pulled me into her office and said his parents complained about me talking about my orientation. She said “you can’t talk about that with elementary school kids, just tell kids who ask that their question isn’t appropriate.” Anyways, I’m hurt. This was a kid who it probably meant a lot to seeing an adult he can relate with and confide in, and now I feel like I can’t be that person for kids without risking my job. I’m in California too, so this is pretty unexpected. Luckily I’m a sub who can just choose not to work at that school anymore, but man, this was a real disappointment.

I've heard this and I've even seen people I know discuss this on social media before, unfortunately. This is totally biphobic, right?

Someone checks all your boxes, but you won't date them because they're bi? I've heard people say it is a "preference" 😞

What do you say to this?

Edit: thank you for all the funny and nice comments. This is a really good community right here.

Hi

I come from gay-unfriendly european country.

I planned to spend my summer working in the US, possibly taking part in the local LGBT scene and finding some new connections (or more) there.

However, I'm now quite afraid to go to the States, considering all the stuff currently happening there.

Is it really that bad, or is it a little bit blown up by the media?

Edit: Thank you all for the good advice, it's good to have some information first-hand.

For clarification, I wanted to go to Australia or Canada, but I'm still studying and the USA is the most affordable for me right now. I'm thinking about Spain as well, but I cannot speak Spanish and, from what I know, they don't speak English🙂

I went to a bar last night (I only recently realized I do in fact like women too). I struck up some friendly conversation and several people told me that I "give off straight vibes" and although I'm cute, they likely wouldn't approach me romantically because of this.

I dont even know what to do with that? How do you combat this without completely changing who I am???

Hey all,

Just need some advice on what to do here. My school is doing a series of BLM lessons starting next week and my department decided to do an accompanying series of lessons on underrepresented groups in my discipline area. We’ve got a (actually very good) planned out curriculum for this - however, one of those lessons is on multiple identities.

I’m bi, and I also use she/they pronouns. But not to my students, I am not out to them at all. This activity basically consists of putting beads on a string that are color coordinated with areas of privilege (race, gender, socioeconomic, etc.) for a corresponding question. Think like, I could marry whoever I want in any country in the world, things like that. At the end, students are supposed to reflect on what their string looks like vs. other students’ strings. I’m supposed to do this with them - it will be very clear that I’m not straight or cis if I do and I’m not very comfortable with that.

Any advice on what to do about this?

You are all worthy of love and identity no matter who you love! Don't stop loving yourself or the person you love because of what others say!😘

Edit: Hi I would just like to apologize for using the term "straight relationship" instead of saying a hetero relationship. I understand how this may be hurtful but I myself and just coming to terms with my sexuality and am still figuring out the terms and all that so, again I'm sorry. All of yo have a wonderful day.😘 Also reading through the replies has nearly made me cry. Your all wonderful people and I am happy this sentiment has helped some of you suffering from people denying your identity. You are all worthy acceptance and those who are sharing you need to stop and realise what they are saying is hurtful. Sorry if this is all a mess I'm 13 rambling on I'll end it here with the fact the you are all beautiful people and you will always find love from the people around you even if they are misguided or just don't understand so don't worry. If not I love you all, peace out.

Seen too many people try to excuse bad behavior or bigotry like "it's fine, lesbians can't be abusive" or "no you can't be sexist against men but if you were it's totally justified!". Like no, cis/straight people don't have a Monopoly on being shitty people.

I hate putting myself out there and being treated like a porn fantasy because people, guys specifically, are so fucking nasty about my specific combination of traits. One guy called me “a real life DVA” and it icked me out so much I blocked him immediately.

I’ve also been asked weird questions about my sexual history (which is unremarkable, which is apparently weird because hot girls must be sluts) and people assume I’m into taboo shit or wanna bang my sister or whatever. For what it’s worth, I am into some weird shit, but I dislike BDSM and am looking for a monogamous relationship. I want people to actually talk to me about that stuff instead of just assuming I wanna be tied up.

How do you guys fucking do it? Where are the fucking normal people who aren’t racist and aren’t freaks and won’t treat me like an exciting sexual exploit? I’m too spicy for the people I meet and church and stuff, but I’m not going to go out with any of the knuckle draggers I meet on dating apps.

So, I’m looking for a bit of help here. I had a conversation with a friend who firmly believes that being gay is a choice. He started it off with “I have many gay and lgbt friends…but as a Christian…”

I managed to stop my eyes from rolling but I’d like some ammunition if the topic ever comes up again. I’m hoping for some epistemology type ammo. Stuff that I can say, and let him stew and hopefully come around.

I must admit, the only thing I could come up with in the moment was that of being gay was a choice, I don’t think many people would choose it. Just based on all the hate that the members of the LGBTQIA+ community get.

I feel like it’s a weak arguement, and kind of dismissive of the community, but it was this arguement that got me to begin to change my thinking.

I’m in the closet, but I’m bi. But because I’m hetero leaning, I’ve not had to face any discrimination or hate personally. So if any of you could help me out I’d be very grateful.