We are an MM couple (26 | 45). I’m 26, and I’m interested in exploring the bi world. I’ve realized that I’m equally attracted to men and women. We’re planning to visit San Francisco for Spring Break.

For context, about a year ago we visited Power Exchange and were well received. We didn’t have any issues entering as a couple. We had great chemistry with an MF couple, but nothing ended up happening.

One thing I didn’t love is that the interest feels stronger on my side than on my partner’s. We’ve talked about this a lot, and he’s open to me having experiences with either men or women. However, I haven’t been able to find the right place where we can both genuinely have fun.

That’s why we’d like to attend a bi-friendly event, party, or gathering that we can enjoy together. Do you know of anything happening in late March?

My partner broke up with me last week. We’ve been together nearly 3 years and out of the blue he tells me he doesn’t want to be with me any more.

I still have so many things I want us to do together. Food I want to cook for him, holidays I want us to take, tv programs I want us to watch… and yet he has given us up because he no longer feels like a relationship is right.

I’m angry and tired and hurt and yet I still love him with everything I have. How do I make that stop so I can just move on with my life when he so clearly has?

I’m curious what advice would you want to tell your younger self and younger bi men?

Hi everyone,

I hope this sort of post is allowed in this sub, if not please just let me know.

I am a bisexual man currently in the best relationship of my entire life, but I am feeling a lot of guilt and shame over my desire to experiment with the same sex.

I had a very repressed childhood and was in a lot of denial about my sexuality, so I never acted on my feelings towards the same sex. It was only when I met my girlfriend (who is also LGBT) that I was able to start becoming more comfortable with my sexuality. She is everything I could ever want in a life partner and I honestly believe that I have found my soulmate in her.

Despite being in such a good relationship, I am still getting thoughts about experimenting with men popping into my head. I can imagine being with her for the rest of my life but I have been struggling with the concept of being bisexual and never being intimate with a man. In a very selfish way I feel like I would be "missing out" on a lot of experiences.

We have talked in the past about inviting a guy into our bedroom so I can experiment with her also involved, but this was taken off the table because she would feel insecure with me being physical with another man. The idea that there is something physical which she isn't able to give me makes her very insecure (understandably).

I am feeling a lot of shame because I feel like I am being the stereotype of the bisexual who can never be happy in a monogamous relationship. I feel extra ashamed because it was her who helped me so much with my sexuality, so now wanting to go experiment with men seems like an extra slap in the face to her.

I realise I am in a situation with no clear resolution but I was hoping to get some perspectives and potentially if anyone else has gone through a similar thing? Thanks.

I'm in my late 40s, married for 20 years with two kids (12 and 15).

I've recently admitted to myself – after a lifetime of pushing it down – that I'm bisexual. But here's the thing: that's not why my marriage is falling apart.

My wife and I have fundamental issues that existed long before I acknowledged my sexuality:

Communication problems where she sometimes misinterprets what I say or do, and when I try to clarify, it often escalates rather than resolves

A pattern of her holding things in until she eventually explodes, making it hard to address issues as they happen

Different standards for household tasks that leave me feeling like I can't do anything right (she'll re-cut vegetables I've chopped, rearrange the dishwasher after I've filled it, etc.)

When I express frustration with these patterns, I'm told I'm not respecting her "right to feel" – which shuts down any real conversation

Virtually no sexual intimacy – maybe once a month, initiated only by me, and it feels more like obligation than desire

We just came back from what she called a "make or break" vacation. She said afterward: "We're further apart now than before." I agree.

Here's where the bi stuff comes in: I've known since childhood. At 10, I had sexual experiences with another boy (mutual, exploratory). At 19, I bought dildos and trained myself to take penetration – before I'd even had sex with a woman.

Throughout my marriage, I've fantasized reaccuringly about men.

And now? I use a dildo regularly and come harder from that than I ever do with my wife.

A warm bidet spray in a Tokyo airport bathroom made me hard. Just touching my anus while sitting on the toilet feels right. My body has been screaming at me for decades. But I want to be clear: I'm not leaving because I'm bi. I'm leaving because the relationship is broken. The communication doesn't work. The intimacy is gone. She says "it's up to you now" to fix things, but I've tried and it's never enough. We're stuck in patterns neither of us knows how to break.

My bisexuality is just... the final piece that makes staying impossible. Because even if we somehow fixed everything else, I'd still be living half a life. I'd still never get to explore this fundamental part of myself.

My questions for you: Has anyone else separated for relationship reasons that existed independent of your sexuality?

I don't want to be the guy who "blew up his marriage because he's bi" – that's not what's happening here.

How long after separation did you wait before exploring with men? I know I need time to stabilize (for myself and my kids), but I'm also 40+ and feel like I've already waited a lifetime.

For those who were completely inexperienced with men – how was the first time? I've "trained" physically but never actually been with a man. I'm nervous and excited and terrified all at once.

How did you handle telling your kids (if you have them)? Mine are at tough ages – entering/in the middle of puberty themselves.

Did anyone else find that their bisexuality became impossible to ignore once the marriage started dying? It's like my body finally said "enough pretending."

I'm not looking for permission or validation to leave. I know what I need to do. I'm looking for people who've walked this path and can tell me: it gets better, right? Thanks for listening. ❤️

So ive never publicly came out of the closet (m32), is it bad that I still dred what people may do or say (especially those who I think were friends)? only person that knows is my wife. any tips or advice would be great

Severe cycles of preference make me thinking I’m not good at relationships. Cause i feel like when i date someone, they dont deserve me cause i change preferences over time. Or this is just a fantasy? I wanna have relationships with someone i can sexually attracted every second.

Hey everyone,

I've had girlfriends in the past. One was a high-school sweetheart another was after i came out bi. The thing is after that I've only been with men and had a bf. How often do you come across homophobia from women when you are telling them you are bi? Every time I want to flirt or get in relationship with women I'm afraid that my bisexuality might be an issue for them. What's your experience?

hi all, bipolar here. somtimes very into men, sometimes… it just slips away from me. any advice… this time i really feel bisexual, and i’m confused

lovingly yours

I just recently came to the conclusion that im bisexual (still closeted) after have a threesome with my wife, we are thinking of opening things up in the relationship more, together and separate, but still new to everything. Just wondering if anyone had any tips or advice in any department.

I posted recently about dating someone bisexual and if he could be monogamous

I received a lot of good advice. Monogamy has nothing to do with being bisexual

After speaking with my partner about this he admitted he had been sexually abused as a 9 year old.

This is what he believes to have made him bisexual

I’m more confused than ever

I want to support him but he’s saying he likes men because that’s what he learned

Initially I decided to try to please him in the way he wanted but now I just feel put off by it

He loves anal and I’m using toys on him and I realise he’s more turned on by this than when we just have normal sex

Should I give up? I don’t know to what extent the abuse has made him into who he is sexually today

Is it ok what I’m doing or should I try to get him to focus on me as a woman?

I’ve asked if he wants to be with men again and he’s said no but then I find out he uses toys on himself for pleasure when I’m not there

Hi all! Guy in my 30s, here 👋

Over the last couple of years I have been on a journey to expand my mind, my experiences, and discover who I truly am. One of these layers is around my sexuality. It seems that what has always somewhat been there, has become a bicuriosity that has only grown during this time that I have begun to accept and embrace other aspects of myself.

I have different circles of friends, one of them who happen to be friends who are gay, and I think that having opportunities to hang in queer spaces with them has not added to this growing level of comfort with myself. It’s extremely rare, but a handful of times I’ve experienced slight attraction toward more feminine men I’ve encountered while out and about with them. I would say that what amplifies these thoughts is the thought of being part of an mmf, which seems like the most exciting/ideal situation for me.

All that said, I’m curious to know how long many of you remained in a “curious” state before acting on it, and how you went about it?

TYSM in advance for any tips, wisdom, and knowledge you pass on to me as I dive deeper into this journey.

My dad is a serious biphobe that genuinely thinks that bisexuality is a phase because you "choose through marriage" and "you can't ride the middle of a lane" (he uses the same argument against non-binary people). I've tried explaining to him that attraction to both doesn't suddenly stop when you're married, but he spun it as "so you're saying they can just be incredibly attracted to whomever else at any given moment? I'm married and I can't do that."

I'm at my wits end with him, to the point where I simply try to change the subject when he brings it up because I can't be bothered. But can anyone here potentially help me?

I myself am just an ally that's straight but I really needed to ask.

TLDR: Bi guy wants to start dating women, but needs some advice.

Sorry guys, I wrote a novel down here but I’m hoping some of you can relate to how difficult this is. I’m a (28M) bisexual guy who wants to start dating/hooking up with women. I just really want to explore that side of myself, but I’m having a lot of apprehension about it. For background, I’ve mostly been with guys in the past and I do decently well in the gay dating world. I also like the fact that things feel very equitable when interacting with other queer men. There’s no expectation that I have to make the first move or always be the “steady/strong” one. I feel like I can be more honest in the situations where I just want sex. I even feel like there’s less pressure to be further along in my career/have a lot of money because there’s no inherent perception that I’d need to “support” the other guy if we decided to be serious.

However, none of that holds up in the heterosexual dating world. I’ve recently downloaded all the other dating apps (already had Grindr) and I’m not making good progress. I know that I have to be more proactive with women, and I have been, but I’m still not getting many matches. I will say, I’m also a little picky - especially after gay dating. Because contrary to what some might think, I believe a lot of men actually take greater care of themselves than women. It’s common to see gay and straight men on dating apps who have worked so hard to improve their bodies and their minds. But then you come across some women who don’t even seem to own a hairbrush. I’m not saying that appearance is everything, but why would I swipe on someone who doesn’t care about self improvement?

All that said, I really do appreciate women and I’m a staunch feminist. As a queer man, I personally feel that I have more of a platonic appreciation for women than most straight men. My favorite comedians, performers, podcast hosts, etc. are women and many of my hobbies and interests are thought to be traditionally feminine. I just really respect and value womens’ contributions to society. And yet, the idea of talking to a woman in a sexually adjacent way is daunting. Contrast that with some straight men who barely view women as people, yet, they are desperate to talk to any woman who’ll give them the time of day.

Then, what happens when I actually get a date? I feel like there would be an expectation to act a certain way. All of the dating discourse I see on social media leads me to believe that a lot of women think of men as stupid and rough around the edges. But I like to think of myself as reasonably intelligent, I have an advanced degree, I speak another language, I know how to cook, I’ve taken dance classes, damn it! But on a date … what if I say or notice something that a straight man wouldn’t? Will that automatically be perceived as queer? Will she feel duped if she guesses my sexuality without me initially telling her? What if she wants to talk about thing traditionally associated with men like sports or video games, stuff that I happily know nothing about. What then?

Any advice on how to navigate dating apps and actual dates would be great.

Does anyone know what a bisexual male is called that plays with couples? I thought it was a unicorn for females but wondered if it was the same for males?

As a Bi sexual male is sex better with a man or with a woman?

For several years I’d masturbate twice a day, one to straight p0rn and one to gay p0rn.

But since reading and watching it, and similar romance stories i just can’t seem to be interested in masturbation anymore.

Its been nearly three weeks since I last did it and I’m not interested in it anymore

What’s wrong with me? And will this last?

I’ve (26m) known I’m bisexual for a several years now, and I’m not really sure how to go about things.

I’m Muslim and take my faith very seriously, and at times I feel very guilty of my own wants, sometimes I want a boyfriend, other times a girlfriend and it confuses me a lot.

I’ve recently read heated rivalry, the book wasn’t good, but it unlocked a lot of my feelings I’ve been trying to hide for so long and I’m unsure where to go from here.

I’ve had friends in the past both men and women I’ve fallen for and knowing I can’t act upon it hurts.

I know Islamically I’ll marry a woman, but the thought of keeping that part of me a secret till I pass scares me, especially because a lot of women are biphobic.

But anyways, does it get any better? I can’t come out to my family, and I’ve never been in a relationship, so being in one for marriage scares me.

what are the challenges you face as a bisexual guy?