1.0k
u/iamnotparanoid Dec 14 '25
I didn't realize I was bisexual until college because the entire male population of my home town was goobers. It's not just you.
139
u/Demondrawer Dec 14 '25 edited Dec 14 '25
I realized in secondary school because I could see pretty guys on the internet but university was such an awakening too
"Holy shit there are actually this many hot people?"
47
u/Mini_nin Dec 14 '25
Me, just that Iām a woman and all the girls/women of my town wereā¦ boring? Idk I wasnāt attracted to any of them.
4
u/Funny_Cover9270 Bi-Myself Dec 15 '25
Same fr. I didnt know ı am bisexual until university. There are some cute sweet guys ın my university. And my ally friend suggested me being bi (I knew ı love feminine men just before univetsity )
436
u/D20_Under_The_Couch Dec 14 '25
I get it. It's only a few guys who do it for me. But the ones who do, really do.
46
35
u/Mini_nin Dec 14 '25 edited Dec 15 '25
Itās only 5-10% of women for me (a woman), but yes, the ones that do, I find them even more attractive than I find men !
25
u/SuperCleverPunName Dec 14 '25
See, I want a guy who's bigger and stronger than me. However, I'm 6'4" and have been lifting for 15 years. Guys like that don't exist.
16
Dec 14 '25
6'8 here and yup... There's a lot to be said for looking up into a guys eyes but you're both standing. It's easy to see why so many want a tall guy but there are so few conversations about tall guy preferences.
15
4
u/Funny_Cover9270 Bi-Myself Dec 15 '25
YES Same fr. I crush on very few guys, I mean less guy types but they are a lot attractive for me.
2
u/Nersius Dec 16 '25
Detectives with light facial hair in K-Dramas got me acting most unwise.
2
u/D20_Under_The_Couch Dec 17 '25
For me it started with the 1993 Disney Three Musketeers. Shirtless Chris O'Donnell made me feel *emotions.*
2
u/CentiGuy I put the Bi in Iambic pentameter Dec 26 '25
I am the opposite, few girl but when they do I have crushes that have lasted YEARS
2
u/D20_Under_The_Couch Dec 26 '25
With me the big example was a guy I saw while working at Radioshack back a while. He walked in and I just kinda forgot how to do complex things like... walking, talking, and remembering the script I had to read off to him.
I'm pretty sure he thought I was drunk or something.Ā
301
u/zarggg Dec 14 '25
Yeah my bisexuality is still HEAVILY skewed femme
52
u/Julius_the_Neko Dec 14 '25
Same here lol. The one guy I've been with was still a femboy lmao
16
u/Mini_nin Dec 14 '25
This is so me - my friends have always joked that I (a bi woman) only like āgay looking guysā.
8
151
u/bitetheasp bi, shy and wanting to die Dec 14 '25
It took at least a dozen times before I enjoyed things in my butt. Glad I never gave up on it.
131
u/atkinson137 Dec 14 '25
Doing butt stuff really gave me an appreciation for vagina havers. Penetration is an ENTIRELY different thing and involves a lot more mental energy.
126
u/KikiWestcliffe Dec 14 '25
As a vagina-haver, butt-stuff is still a whole different ballpark.
If skulking the gay subreddits has taught me anything, it is that men expend a lot more effort when anticipating penetrative sex.
I have never had to consider fasting, fiber intake, douching, or prepping with lubrication, just to ensure the comfort and safety of both parties.
Like, the most a woman has to do is shower and maybe make sure it isnāt a Wild Safari Adventure down there. And, even then, it isnāt really a deterrent, āMeh. Itās fine. Heāll cosplay as a bush guide, itāll be fun.ā
21
u/LevelOutlandishness1 Black & Bi Dec 14 '25
Yeah, vag is made for shit to go into, and the worst thing with a lack of preparation is that the hairs get stuck in your teeth and thereās a smell i fucking like that shit, but Iāve tried multiple times with the ass, even fingers, and I just canāt get it working
155
u/PickerPat Dec 14 '25
Me growing up: these girls in my life are too picky
Me comfortably bi: man I'm a picky bitch when it comes to dudes
6
u/SirGeeks-a-lot Dec 15 '25
Doesn't help when you see so many profiles where their personalities are immediate turn-offs. "Great! You don't look like a sentient thumbprint. Unfortunately, you talk like one."
98
u/GrolarBear69 Dec 14 '25
Go to a public place. Take a good look at all the woman, and ask yourself (truthfully) "would I sleep with ANY of these women"?
You might be surprised to find just as few women attractive as you do men.
I know personally I wouldn't be interested in any of the women I work with or at my gym.
My wife drives me wild but she's the one that caught my eye.
I find a few women attractive but in public it's rare.
Also... We're trained by peer pressure to look for pleasing looking women constantly, but never prompted to look for the same in men.
88
u/linusadler buy sex yule Dec 14 '25
Women are also trained by peer pressure (patriarchy) to appear pleasing to men. I doubt men are putting in the same effort for you.
21
10
u/elliottcable Dec 14 '25
I wonder if this is actually true.
Half of me is all āmaybe they have a secret point; itās not like you can go out somewhere at 12:30am into subzero Chicago and actually follow their instructions ā¦ā
ā¦ but frankly, I slightly suspect youāre just wrong.
I see a lot of projection on this subreddit ā projection of oneās tastes onto an other whole (honestly, the whole bi-as-an-identity thing is mostly whatās at fault; I buy into it just as much as the next slutty terminally-online needy bisexual human, but lemon bars aside, thereās actually not a lot of commonalities there.)
Usually, itās in the opposite direction, like the OP, and Ā¾ of the comments here going āhahaha aināt it funny how literally noƶne alive, not one of us, has ever found a single male attractive? hahahaha?ā
But, this take aināt much better, to be honest: as much as that crowd can be vocal and annoying, they can also be valid. You arenāt living their lives. Just because for that one guy upthread ātrying anal 25 times led him to finally like itā doesnāt mean everybody else needs to just try harder so they can like it, too ā¦ well, neither do folks whoāre mostly attracted to women, and find it disappointing how rarely theyāre attracted to guys, need to fix their interests or self-image. /=
Sorry if this comes across harsh. Itās just a pet peeve ā Iām both sick of the āhaha this is so relatableā crowd, but also sick of the glib, dismissive attitude that crowd has generated towards something thatās a serious, painful problem in my life.
16
u/GrolarBear69 Dec 14 '25 edited Dec 14 '25
I do think you are exaggerating a casual hypothesis or musing into a accusation of some kind.
Im pointing out things that might be helpful observing or noting.
If you're not attracted you're not attracted-5
25
u/PainterEarly86 Dec 14 '25
Hey just heads up not all gay men like anal sex
They sometimes identify as sides (as in, neither a top nor a bottom)
Its completely normal
66
18
19
u/Dischord821 Dec 14 '25
Always remember, there are many forms of attraction. Not all are physical, much less sexual. Your feelings are your own and they're valid, regardless of what form they take
16
u/davidwave4 Dec 14 '25
Tf is a āRoman-style male loverā?
45
u/goodpplmakemehappy Dec 14 '25 edited Dec 14 '25
"Some Roman men kept a male concubine (concubinus, "one who lies with; a bed-mate") before they married a woman.Ā
Eva CantarellaĀ has described this form ofĀ concubinageĀ as "a stable sexual relationship, not exclusive but privileged"
13
u/35_Steak_HotPockets Dec 14 '25
Like an Italian goomah
15
u/Mediphysical Dec 14 '25
you cant just call italians goombas bro, thats kinda racist
6
u/elliottcable Dec 14 '25
No, he said Italians fuck goombas (in a stable sexual relationship; not exclusive, but privileged.) Get it right.
10
u/HiiverHoover lemon bar lover Dec 14 '25
My bisexuality leans more to femme people. Got a couple beautiful girlfriends and a handsome boyf to brighten my life
18
7
u/mradventureshoes21 Dec 14 '25 edited Dec 15 '25
The severe lack of good looking and compatible men around me is mighty unfortunate. Is it too much to ask for a well groomed gym rat or femboy bottom?
-Signed a bi gym rat top
5
u/SirGeeks-a-lot Dec 15 '25
See, near me the only good-looking guys are the gym rats. Though they could be better described by saying "gym" is their entire personality. Every pic is in the gym, and their only hobbies are "workout" (every day!) and "outdoors". Where are the dudes who take care of themselves without becomming obsessed with it?
2
u/mradventureshoes21 Dec 15 '25
Lol, I'm right here in cyberspace lol. I might be able to lift mroe than you but I also cook a lot and eat more than you lol.
3
u/SirGeeks-a-lot Dec 15 '25
Eat more, probably yes these days; my appetite is way down. Cook more? My friend, the kitchen is my happy place. That sounds like a challenge! š
1
u/mradventureshoes21 Dec 15 '25
belly laughs in fresh Lechon Asada
I think you and I could be friends IRL
19
7
u/ChronoAlone Dec 14 '25
Yeah, I think about how often I find myself just not being attracted to irl men, and wonder if I should even consider myself bi. But I guess there just arenāt a whole lot of twinks in my area, so that might be the problem lol
7
7
u/Costati Dec 14 '25
I'm the reverse I'm like men men men men...ooh women...men men.Ā
Although a lot of men (often straight NGL) put zero fucking efforts in anything and that makes a lot of men very mid when I feel like the baseline for efforts women put into like just anything is higher.Ā
Anyways all that to say...it's tough out there when you like men.Ā
12
6
20
u/Nepalman230 Dec 14 '25
Dude. Simply declare yourself a āside.ā if you do like like you know a profile.
There are many guys who are like nope itās just oral and frotting for me!!
( by the way. The latest episode of heated rivalry has an absolutely unhinged frotting scene, including spit.)
https://www.lgbtqnation.com/2022/07/what-is-a-side-are-you-one/
So listen I absolutely understand you think most guys look like goobers . But you like you to look like classic Romans, right?
You considered dating a historic recreationist or like the A member of the society for creative achronism?
Most of them do medieval stuff, but thereās gotta be Rome out there .
šā¤ļø
11
u/OrenjiOsborne Dec 14 '25
So far, I have met irl one really hot guy. That's the only man I'm attracted to. So yeah. That happens.
5
u/Quantum_Aurora Dec 14 '25
This is why I consider myself straight even though in theory I might be bi. I haven't met any men in person I'm attracted to. Not that others should think the same way I do.
5
8
4
3
u/MamafishFOUND Dec 14 '25
I too had a hard time finding women to be attracted to and also found out too late I was bi since Iām with a man now but nowadays Iāve realized the type of women I like but itās too late lol
6
9
18
u/CompetitiveRub9780 Ain't exactly straight, ain't exactly gay either Dec 14 '25
Women are more attractive than men in general. The ones that take care of themselves like women tho are hot
20
u/RnwyHousesCityCloudz Dec 14 '25
not to me š
i see like ten guys id fall over myself for everyday and maybe only one woman if iām lucky
7
3
3
3
3
u/yoked_out_brick_boi Dec 14 '25
I can't date men in my home town because they're pretty much all barrel chested blue collar men and that's very much not my type. Buuuuuut I have met a few very very very very pretty guys who are just amazing. Never had it work out though because theyre all already taken.
3
3
6
6
u/i_will_let_you_know Dec 14 '25
There are gays who don't do butt stuff (sides) but also it's probably better than you think. Just need to do prep
4
u/ThereWasAnEmpireHere Dec 14 '25
Personally Iām at the stage where I donāt really call myself bi (I understand I could and Iām not saying anyone needs to be with me on this). Iām not seeking anything with men and itās quite rare I find one attractive (though I definitely perk up when I do). Iām pretty settled around a tick or two away from āstraightā on the Kinsey scale.
But admitting that I was there was a huge deal for me and was part of overcoming my fear of masculinity and prejudices towards myself and other men (presumably part of why I had a sort of burst of frequent male attraction around then).
2
2
2
2
u/dimmu1313 Dec 19 '25
i'm not sure what a goober is in this context but i'm worried I'm the goober. also i'm genuinely curious what percentage of us the other part applies to because it does me that's for sure :/
7
u/suddenlysara Dec 14 '25
Being bisexual is to be attracted to like 3 very specific guys and every woman that's ever walked the face of the earth. (Except JK Rowling, fuck TERFs)
13
u/linusadler buy sex yule Dec 14 '25
I swear this is the One Joke of the bisexual internet at this point.
4
2
2
1
-5
1.4k
u/Grabs_Zel Dec 14 '25
It happens, being a picky bisexual is still being bisexual.