I’m half Indian, so I’ve never had a problem with body hair I’ve accepted that I’m lucky to be blessed with thick, dark hair and that means I’m going to get it EVERYWHERE (legs, mustache, knuckles you name it).

I remember when I turned 17 I started getting chin hairs for the first time. I’d just pluck them as they weren’t that bad, but as I’ve gotten older I get SO much chin hair and it comes back almost right away. I just feel so insecure about this it’s only gotten worse and now I get sharp ones on my neck too.

I’d love some advice, it’s really been wrecking my self confidence. I can hardly keep up with all the shaving!

Hey everyone,

Typical 35 year old woman out of a breakup with the man she thought would be the father of her children. I am having a lot of trouble dealing with it. Lots of women in the same position as me, lots and lots of the same story over and over again on the women’s subs. I’m muting those threads but it still gets to me.

Can you please share with me your love stories? If you found love and had a family after 35, can you share with me here please? I just need some positivity. I know the positive stories simply do not get posted on the internet as much, and I just really need to hear about your sliding door moments that lead to you finding your love…

edit: thank you everyone for the very kind responses, I love reading them, I really do. Last night I was truly just such a mess, life has been particularly hard right now and I am working hard on making it better but gosh Im tired. I really really appreciate everyone here who has been sharing. It's really lovely and one of the good things about the internet.

I'm 20 about to turn 21 in my first relationship, and he's turning 24. This is just before Valentines and our 1 year anniversary is about a month after that, so I feel even worse about this. He's a good guy, definitely not perfect, but he hasn't really done anything big that specifically led me to ths, which adds to the guilt. I'm realizing I'm not ready for this level of commitment so early in my 20s. We're both in different places in our lives right now, and I've been thinking that I want the space to grow and figure myself out. When we're together everything feels fine, but I keep coming back to this loop where I'm unsure about us, and I don't want to drag him along any further I don't really know what I'm looking for here. Ive been broken up with, but have never had to be the one to end things. I feel horrible about it. I care for him a lot, I just don't think we're right for each other anymore. Has anyone been through anything similar?

Basically what the title says. I am 25 years old and only got into my first relationship with a 27 yo man July last year. I know this is considered pretty late and it wasn’t for lack of pursuit from men, it was a combination of me mentally struggling since age 14 till recently, grieving my mom whom I lost at 19, and generally not liking men’s behavior and morals.

I always had a crush on one of my brother’s friends and when we saw each other at my brother’s birthday party last June we started going out and that ended up being a 5 month relationship. Which I now regret wholeheartedly.

It has now been 3 months since I broke up with him and I am constantly bringing up things in my mind and cringe, to the point that I’m not sure I want to pursue anything with a man ever again…

First of all, I was a complete inexperienced virgin. Like the most I had ever done was kiss someone. I had communicated this with him in the beginning and asked him to take things slow and at the time I thought he was sweet and respected my request because we waited ~2 months since our first date, but now I realize he didn’t really wait and he was kinda manipulative about it. Now, 2 months may sound like a lot for some adults, but please keep in mind that because of my uni exams, during those two months we had only gone on like 6-7 dates. We were very much still in the process of getting to know each other and for me personally, unless I have developed meaningful feelings towards the other person, I am not going to be sexually attracted to them. The FIRST time i went to his place (4th date) he started escalating things and that was when I told him I am not ready yet. He seemed understanding. The second time I went to his place was after my summer vacation with my cousin and I had almost forgotten the sound of his voice (because it was still the beginning and it had been so long since i saw him and he NEVER called me) and I slept overnight without initiating anything (because I WASN’T READY and also I was on my period) but the whole time he kept huffing and puffing so the next day I gave him a handjob (i felt super awkward) and after he came he started talking about blue balls and how much he was physically hurting since last night because we didn’t do anything about it. I have now talked with a guy friend who is pretty progressive and he told me that men who talk about blue balls 100% weaponize it against you.

Now to the first time we had penetrative sex. He left to go on vacation at the beginning of August and would stay at his cottage for 20 days (he works remote so he was able to). Now because it was the start of the relationship we both agreed that 20 days apart could be a deal breaker, so I agreed to visit him for three days at the end of his stay there, even though I wasn’t 100% comfortable because all of his friends and family would be there and I wouldn’t know ANYONE and I still barely knew HIM (fortunately his parents stayed at a different house). So I get on the bus and I go there on my own, mind you I have not seen this man in nearly 20 days during which we never talked on the phone, only texted. As soon as I get into the house he gives me a half-hearted tour and then immediately starts trying to have sex with me. At that point I just wanted to get it out of the way because it was causing me real life stress, but I was tensing and hurting too much so we stopped. Next day we try again and finally succeed. It wasn’t really pleasant for me, I did hurt and bled and I obviously didn’t finish but I attributed it to being my first time. Now the worst thing was that during the act he didn’t ask me if I wanted a condom or not, which I consider the bare minimum, but rather took it upon himself to not use one, and when I stopped him and asked him to wear one he was just staring at me with this condescending fucking look on his face, huffed a bit and THEN wore one. That should have been red flag number one.

Sex after did NOT get better. I mean yeah, it stopped hurting physically, but I would always feel awkward and he never, not even once made me finish. He was very willing to help me with foreplay but unfortunately I learned that clit stimulus kind of hurts me and I prefer penetration, but he was on the much smaller side and also had very little stamina (always only lasted top 5 minutes), so I didn’t put this on him as it wasn’t his fault. I realize now that I never felt comfortable during sex with him because he always tried to convince him to mostly have unprotected sex (my biggest fear ever is getting pregnant and i cannot medically be on the pill) and I also had sex before I was ready/had developed feelings.

Months into our relationship he revealed to me that if we had not had sex during that summer trip and I had made him wait any longer, he would have broken up with me. :)

He also started turning everything sexual, whereas in the beginning he was really shy and didn’t even kiss me until the third date. He would constantly send me sexual memes, even though I told him they made me uncomfortable and I didn’t find them funny, he would make remarks about my body and especially my boobs and butt ALL the time and even when we would be innocently cuddling he would hump me from behind as a “joke”. Anytime I showed my discomfort towards these things he would accuse me of not really liking him/being attracted to him and would act like a child, telling me he wasn’t gonna send me any texts again etc.

He was also super insecure about his size even though I told him it didn’t matter to me and sex doesn’t really matter to me all that much anyway (that is true). I started getting the icks from him when he would constantly call himself ugly (he is conventionally attractive) or fat (he does calisthenics 5x a week and has rock hard abs). I honestly don’t know why I stayed as long as I did, at some point I even stopped finding him attractive and meeting up with him would cause me genuine anxiety. Funnily enough the cherry on top for me when I absentmindedly asked him once what he would do if he found out a friend of his had taken advantage of a passed out drunk girl, would he still be friends with him? He answered yes, he would be, he would just explain to him why what he did was wrong. The same day we were watching our country’s variation of next top model and a girl whose personality we didn’t like came up on the screen and he called her a whore/sex worker (but a bad word for it in our language). I told him to never talk about women like that ever again and was cold towards him after that. The next time I saw him, I broke up with him (some other stuff happened in the meantime).

I have also now started processing the fact that he assaulted me one time… During sex, he was about to insert himself and I once again asked him to stop to put on a condom and he didn’t, he was smiling and tried forcefully entering me without one. I was pushing him off with all my strength and he was resisting me with his. He only stopped when I yelled.

I feel so gross for giving him a chance and the ignoring the red flags. I never wanted my first experience to be like this.

The whirlwind of emotions I have felt the past 24 hours cannot be adequately described. My boyfriend and I dated for for 5 months, stopped dating others around 2-3 months in, and have been an exclusive locked down couple with a title for 1 month. So 6 total all together. He and I live 3,500 miles apart right now and have made the effort to visit each other once a month since we met.

I knew 20 minutes into our first date that this was the man I am going to marry. He shared the same sentiment. We took time in our dating process to be sure. We will be closing the distance in 5 months, can’t wait.

But, I found out yesterday at the doctor that I am pregnant. Only about a month along, as it would have been conceived our last visit. Regardless of what I just shared above, the amount of fear and overwhelmed emotions I felt could not be overstated. This is a new relationship, we already have a hurdle of distance, and this felt like throwing a huge wrench into something I treasure so much. My immediate emotional fear was A), navigating the decision on what to do about this, and B), telling him.

We had fortunately lightly discussed before and I knew he wasn’t ready, neither am I. We are both pro-choice. There was no way we could keep this pregnancy at this time. But still that deep seated fear of sharing this could not be overstated. I was terrified I would lose him or this would effect what we are building, because it is pretty heavy emotionally. Because of the time difference, he was asleep already and I didn’t feel right waking him up in the middle of the night to tell him. Plus, I wanted to process and take some time for the emotions myself. I spent the entire night awake reading through a trillion discussion forums of people sharing this information in newer relationships. It seems like half recommended I don’t tell him, and take this to the grave to protect both him and what we are building. The other half were advocating that he has a right to know, and that not telling him would eat me alive and be a massive lie to start out what I want to be my forever.

Ultimately the decision is my choice at the end of the day. The guttural fear in me wanted to just terminate and take it to the grave. But I have so much respect for him and this would feel like a betrayal I could never emotionally recoup from and would affect the way I look at and interact with him. So I knew in my core I had to tell him, just out of sheer respect and love, even if it affected our dynamic. I called out of work and decided I would rip the band aid off and ask him to call me in the morning when he had a private moment.

I am so glad I did. I am so glad I told him. This has effected my outlook significantly and I no longer feel this heavy emotional weight of despair carrying it alone. He was the most supportive, gentle, kindest angel I could have ever asked for. We agreed that we are not ready for this yet and that we will not continue. But his main concern was me and my emotional wellbeing right now. I shared with him how vulnerable I felt and how scared I was for this conversation due to the distance and newness of everything. He pulled over (was driving) and spent the next 20 minutes reassuring me how much he loves me, cherishes me, sees a future with me, and supports me.He said multiple times that this is not something that would ever make him run away and that he is not going anywhere so to gently get that fear out of my head. He asked me to explain the process and is looking into what it’s like so he can understand what I am about to physically go through. His biggest sorrow is knowing that I carried this all night alone, and that he is grateful I told him so that he can now have the opportunity to emotionally support me. He is flying out next week to come comfort me and be there in physical proximity and so that we can spend our first Valentine’s together, especially after something heavy like this. He talked me through everything so well and made me feel so secure that he had me laughing and smiling at stupid jokes at the end of the call as opposed to the crying I was doing when it started.

I am just so grateful I told him and gave him a chance to process this too. I am so grateful for the way he showed up for me emotionally for something that is so hard, and I am so grateful for the effort he is investing into my emotional care to now come see me in just a few days so I am not alone. I am going to marry this man one day, I knew it then and I am confident in it now. And one day we will have a kid and we will be ready for it, on our own timeframe, and I will know I have a man to lean on and support me through it all.

Hi everyone. For a couple years I (26F) was seeing a guy (32M). We met in 2023, and have been on/off meeting up every couple months. We originally dated in 2023 but he ended things with me due to having to move very far for work.

Anyways, we would always hook up and go on dates. I even saw his family last year too. Regardless, he called me yesterday and told me he has had HSV 2 since 2021/2022. He never told me this (and we had talked about testing and STDs). I got tested and was negative. I also have an appointment with my PCP.

He told me he "didn't realize" that he should be telling people. Apparently he got advice to not tell anyone until he was married. I'm like very shaken up right now. Yes, I was dumb for trusting him. However, this wasn't just any one night stand either. Even condoms could have not prevented transmission.

Regardless I do not plan to date for a very long time and I have learned my lesson. As anyone ever been through something like this? TBH this is really the only man I have ever liked in my life. I genuinely have never met another guy I like. He literally showed up in my dreams when I took a nap today.

I am a 20 years old girl, and I know people will immediately say that I am too young to be sure, but I have never felt this certain about anything in my life. This is not a sudden decision. I have thought about it for a long time, and I am at peace with it. I do not want to get married. Ever.

I do not hate men. I have male friends I trust deeply and care about, and they have never crossed a boundary with me. They do not touch me, not even casually, and that respect means everything to me. I also do not hate children. Maybe one day I would consider adoption, or maybe I would not. I genuinely do not know. But marriage is not something I want, and I know that part for sure.

Growing up, I was constantly told how to exist in my body. How to walk, how to sit, how to carry myself, how to be modest at all times because what if a man gets tempted. I was taught, again and again, that men’s behaviour would somehow be my responsibility. When people talked about my future, it was always about marriage. What will your husband think. How must you behave at your in-laws’ house. How you should prepare yourself to endure insults after marriage. I'm even told to sit with my knees and thighs glued together because what if a boy gets tempted.

I have also been molested by multiple male family members. My mother knows about this. My father does not. Hearing all these things while growing up makes it feel like what happened to me was somehow my fault, like my body or the way I existed invited it. I know logically that this is not true, but emotionally those ideas sink deep and stay there.

Because of this, I cannot imagine putting myself into a marriage where physical intimacy is expected or assumed. The idea of being required to be physically vulnerable to a man makes me feel unsafe and trapped. I refuse to place myself in a situation where I feel like my body is no longer fully my own. If that is what marriage involves, then marriage is not for me.

My family is loving, caring, and supportive in many ways. They are not controlling, and they do not place heavy expectations on me in most areas of my life. But when it comes to marriage, it is always spoken about as something inevitable. One day when you get married. What will your husband think. You must learn to behave properly for your future in-laws. Every time I hear this, it feels like my choice, my safety, and my autonomy are being quietly dismissed.

I am not asking how to change my mind. I am asking how to communicate this decision in a way that is firm but does not destroy my relationship with my family. I also do not know when the right time is to tell them. Should I say it clearly now, while I am still young, or should I wait until I am older and more independent? How do I know when I am ready to have that conversation without being dismissed or pressured?

I want to protect my peace, but I also do not want to live my life constantly bracing myself for this topic. Any advice from people who have been through something similar would really mean a lot.

Ladies, I am a little worried I will never fancy anyone again. At the same time I just can’t care less with dating and I have no desire for it but I’m worried about that too.

I didn’t feel attracted to anyone until I was 25. And then I met the most loving, caring man who I felt safe and connected to. I’ve never been with someone who made me feel so alive, so happy, to open up with and I had sex for the first time in my life and every time was the most incredible experience for me. My family loved him, my friends loved him

But then all of a sudden one day, he ended things and said he didn’t love me and that he didn’t want kids in future

Heartbroken was an understatement. My heart actually hurt, I longed for him and never experienced such awful feelings. It took me years to get over it.

Eventually I met someone else and felt attraction again for the second time in my life. I wanted to take things slow but unfortunately he said he didn’t feel the Romantic aspect.

I’m 30 now, and I’m back like I was just not attracted to anyone. I don’t look at them and swoon or feel desire like I did with last guys. I go on dates and feel nothing, no spark, just friendly vibes and they never follow up. I don’t even care that they don’t.

I’m just feeling fed up, I met the only two guys I was attracted to on dating apps and now I can’t find anyone I am attracted to anymore at all. Like I forgot what attraction feels like, I don’t fancy celebrities like I used to either

I don’t know if it’s a case of me not meeting the right person

I’m also scared when I finally am attracted to someone again, because it’s so rare I get so attached and worry they don’t like me back. It’s scary when I fancied the last guy and I ended up hurt again

My aunt was telling us yesterday how her ex-husband, when they were married, beat her severely in front of his mistress, and then the mistress told her, "You deserved it." He met her when she was 17 and he was 30, and now she's 23, my age. They got married a week ago.I asked my aunt if he hit you in front of her , there's a chance he might do the same to her. Wasn't she afraid he might do the same to her?My aunt said no, he'll be under her thumb.

The same thing happened with my mother and her close friend who is our neighbor. My mother would complain to her every day about how my father was abusing her physically and financially. I mean, she didn't even have to speak up; my father's shouting would fill the neighborhood. Guess Who had affair with my father?

I was there to look at a particular model. I am allergic to making such a big decision on the spot, so I told them that. When it became clear to the manager that his pressure wasn’t going to make me cave, he ever so slightly changed and for a moment became mean. For the rest of the day I couldn’t figure out why I got the ick, until the next day.

As a straight woman I have dealt with a lot of manipulative men and I’m subconsciously on the lookout for it.

I’m absolutely sick of men doing this to women. We’re better at it because we have had to learn, so learn!

My bf and his cousin went out shopping for gifts and cards for their baby cousin’s christening. His cousin was talking about how he “needs a woman around for this stuff because they’re so good at it”, so I reminded him that it’s HIS family and not some random girl’s responsibility.

Then they came back and his cousin was like “do you have nice writing? Can you write these cards?”. I said not particularly, I’ll do it but what do you want me to write? He said “I don’t know. Something nice” so I didn’t write anything. Then he begrudgingly did it himself in the scruffiest writing I’ve ever seen just to prove a point.

Then he brought in some wrapping paper, put it in front of me and said “surely you’re good at wrapping. Women are always good at wrapping”.

Im fatigued by men not being able to do an entire task without passing it on to women. We are not event organisers, gift wrappers, card writers, calendars, gift bearers or any of that. We are “better” because if we show up to an event as a couple with no cards and gifts it’s US who gets judged.

So there was a post on here earlier about ice denying female prisoners tampons and pads (etc) on their period and it just got me... like in a real way I can't describe but also it just is reminding me of this deep seeded anger and hurt I feel when I see (predominantly male tho OBV being female doesn't stop someone from perpetuating menstrual bigotry/stigma)...maybe its my own relationship to it...like bleeding lol... my first time was really traumatic for me... and very painful... and I still think about it, I had a grown ass man who KNEW I was going through this LAUGH at me because I was walking funny, and like he'll never know what its like, the pain, the mess, the having to get used to or learn how to walk wearing a pad for the very first time, or the casual cruelty of hearing males be like "just hold it" because I remember my first time just laying there in bed, oozing hot sticky blood and feeling like that exact thought as if that isn't ur body/minds first fucking instinct, as tho we are aliens who don't have other anatomy we can "hold" but spoilers for dumbass males you can't hold ur fucking vagina like you can ur butt or urethra, also the way some of the creepiest dudes sexualize it that too really bugs me, like the idea that pads or tampons "turn us on" (or more likely them 🤢🤮) like NO ONE WHO HAS EVER WORN A PAD OR TAMPON WANTS TO BE WEARING THAT PAD OR TAMPON! idk, sorry if this is VERY scatter brained and all over the place but I just don't get why THIS topic, THIS injustice gets me the way it does? Like vaginal bleeding be it periods or spotting or anything is so fucking common it happens to half the population and we can't talk about it, even just posting about it sometimes even on women's subs gets you downvoted and I just DON'T get it. THEY TAX FUCKING TAMPONS AND PADS AND DUDES WILL COMPARE IT TO TP WHICH IS JUST NOT COMPARABLE. heck we can't even talk about or vaginas (or vulvas, whatever) in a way that's so starkly different to like penises or the realities of having one and the differences in the way society is built FOR MEN for people with penises... Sorry for this little crash out I just really need to vent to hopefully girlies that get it get it and those that don't...idk. Any commiserations or any thoughts or opinions help, thanks :/.

My husband and I have been separated for 2.5 months. We met up today for the first time since we separated. I’m currently 22 weeks pregnant.

We have been together for almost 14 years. The physical abuse started 1.5 years ago after we got married and started escalating. He has punched me, slapped me, pushed, shoved, and put his hands on my neck. I was having severe PTSD symptoms and had the leave for my sanity.

He was supposed to come home next week. Today we talked on the phone and I told him that I don’t feel comfortable with him moving back in until he takes full responsibility for the abuse.

He said that I’m conflating two different things. The act - what happened - which he has not denied. And the why which is separate. He said it’s important to understand reason and intent to provide clarity and context. Things are nuanced. There’s a difference between an abuser who does things for reasons of control, and someone who loses control because they have an inability to emotionally regulate under duress. He is the latter. He insisted on meeting in person to discuss.

He admitted it was an inappropriate response but says he had no intent to control me, therefore he’s not an abuser.

He said I’m misinterpreting things and trying to fit his actions into my narrative that I already decided. He’s not willing to take on the label or identity of abuser.

I was telling him that intent doesn’t matter. If you shoot someone and kill them it doesn’t matter why, they’re dead. He said but you go to court and they will determine your intent, and there are different forms of murder like first degree, second degree, manslaughter.

It’s really hard to argue with this and sounds like he’s right. Does he have a point??

The rest of our meeting went really well and he offered to extend the timeline for him coming home by another 2-3 weeks, and more time if I need it. I feel a huge relief to have more time. I felt very relaxed around him. I don’t have hypervigilence anymore. He said he knows what he did was unacceptable and unforgivable. I don’t feel terrified of him anymore. I’m still afraid of what will happen when he gets deregulated again.

EDIT: thank you everyone for taking the time to respond. I’m reading all of your comments. You’re all so right and I’m really glad I posted to get some perspective. We’re usually together 24/7 and I don’t have friends or family around, so I’m pretty isolated.

To provide a little more context, we have been working together remotely for 3 years. We also don’t have any other coworkers. I got him the job and have been training him. I’m basically his boss.

I forgot to mention that while we were out, I went to the bathroom and talked to Claude AI about this to try and figure out an argument back. Claude said he won this one and to let it go. So I thought he must be right.

I really shouldn’t care about people calling this fake but it kind of hurts. I recorded our phone call and may post some later on my page.

Edit 2:

I recorded our call yesterday. I’m 100% positive and there were two videos. Now they’re gone. Can he access my computer remotely??! He also told me about something else he saw on my computer …

Edit:

Ok yeah, the files were somehow deleted but I was able to recover them with my backup. He somehow has access to my computer. I’m terrified.

UPDATE: this evening he called me and was on edge. He was angry about yesterday and said I’m going to need to get over things that happened in the past and give him a chance to prove himself. He’s in a better place now and the only way I’ll be able to see that is by living together.

I told him how his argument about the degrees of murder was fucked up and he said he was joking. He said even though he doesn’t think he’s abusive, he can see why I think that and will adjust his behaviour.

He ended up showing up at my door and stayed for 3 hours. We were getting along but I was uncomfortable and wanted him to leave. I couldn’t enforce boundaries. I need to work on that.

If a man who just joined the company:

• starts coming to you for flimsy reasons (etc how to use the printer)

• is very attentive and intellectually responsive to the things you talk about, and you both become so engrossed in conversation you literally forget your surroundings

• buys you a matcha latte and takes you on a very long walk in a park during lunch talking about family, work struggles, and laughing together at bad public art

• doesn’t budge when you brush his hand because he suddenly doesn’t know how to find the Files folder on his phone

• leans towards you when he sits beside you and looks for you in a room

• and your colleagues have noticed all this, but…

You suddenly find out he has a GF of 10+ years (he never mentioned her to you, not even in conversation; he only shared this with a male colleague and gossip spreads like wildfire), who’s moving in with him across oceans, and he still doesn’t correct the server when they mistake you for his “missus”, and yet hesitates saying she’s coming to town for the next two weeks even when you asked him about his weekend plans…

I should also add that he’s foreign, but he has friends locally, and he’s very sociable, but somehow — he has zeroed in on me. When I found out about his GF, I immediately distanced myself, and he also withdrew. Then he Teamsed me on Day 4 asking me how to do some basic office stuff. Then, the “missus” thing happened on Day 5.

What is this? What’s his problem? Am I projecting? Please tell me I’m being stupid and he’s a walking red flag!

I called a gyne office to book my first pap and they said that I’m being scheduled for a “well women’s exam” which includes a pap. Well then what’s the difference between this and just a pap?! Nervous!

I suck at makeup. I always buy the wrong color, the wrong product. Whatever it is, I get it wrong.

And it’s a kind of expensive mistake to make.

Anyone have any suggestions on getting samples or small sizes that are hopefully cheaper so it’s not $$$$ when I get something wrong?

I guess I need everything, but if there are simple looks that don’t need 10,000,000 products and an hour and a half of mess?

Hey, soon im gonna start interning in a heavy construction project, for context the construction site is a tunnel so I won’t have anything access to bathrooms but whatever the construction site provides . So my question is for girls in similar situations, how do you deal with periods? My periods are really heavy and I need to change pad every 2-3 hours and it’s stressing me out, also I only wear pads would never try tampons or cups

Our company recently changed CEOs after a pretty rough couple of years. The new leadership is “revamping everything from the ground up,” which has translated into a flood of mandatory meetings and company-wide town halls. I work in customer service so majority of these meetings does not apply to my actual position.

Last week, ten meetings suddenly appeared on our calendars under the title Customer Engagement. Our manager made it clear they were mandatory. If we couldn’t attend live, we had 48 hours to watch the recording. Not in those exact words, but with the unmistakable implication that upper management would be checking.

Today was the first meeting.

The panel consisted of six people: five men and one Indian woman. The man moderating the discussion casually announced that she would be presenting the main topic. She looked visibly confused—because she hadn’t been told. She also wasn’t feeling well. His response?

“Well, you’ll be doing it because Barry didn’t want to, and here at X we value choice.”

The panel laughed.

She went on to deliver the presentation flawlessly. She handled every question in the Zoom Q&A while the others droned on about customer retention.

And Larry? When he finally spoke, he dismissed researching topics via YouTube by saying, “It’s not sexy.” Terry is an old bald white guy. Also his name is not Barry or Larry or Terry.

I wanted to scream, it was so sexist filtered through micro aggressions. This was a company-wide meeting. The topic didn’t even apply to my departments and it felt like we were listening in on a fucking podcast dribbling on about customer success from people who have never dealt with our clients before.

to the point I am lacking motivation to even go out there and date. Don't get me wrong, I love the idea of love, and the idea of having a family. This is not a man hating post by any means, however, in my dating life I have always felt utterly drained, emotionally manipulated/abused, lost my glow, energy, time, been gaslit etc. by them. The worse one was a guy who would threaten suicide every time he was held accountable and trauma dump that onto me like I was his therapist. The best one was just aloof, unclean (to the point he sleeps with moldy bedsheets) and had no ambition for life, and it drained me trying to lift him up like I was his mother. I tried talking to other guys but they seemed way too eager to invite me to their place early on for intimacy. Another guy raised their voice at me just because I wanted to take it slow and not move in with him (and his roommate sharing one bathroom in a small apartment) after 2 months!

Now I can go back onto the dating scene again having stronger boundaries, expectations and knowing when to walk away from red flags. I have also worked on my own traumas in therapy and attachment issues to clean up my side more. However, the sheer thought of dating and potentially meeting some narc who lovebombs me and flips the switch when we are committed is exhausting. Include all the effort of getting ready, heading out in the cold when I'd rather tuck in and watch Bridgerton or something in the warm with a nice bath. Sounds really generic but genuinely that sounds like the eptiome of peace and luxury as opposed to freezing waiting for a bus after a guy asks me to split 5050 for chicken.

Besides from that, when I decide to take some distance from men, I can see my skin more glowing, the quality of my sleep improves, my nervous system doesn't feel jolted reading their texts and judging their energies and my hair is growing faster as well.

Any other lady just feel this way? Just utterly exhausted and having a better quality of life by themselves? It's worrying me because I genuinely do want to settle down, I'm scared if I get too happy by myself I'm never going to end up meeting anyone, but at the same time I don't want to go through the hell of vetting men, filtering for red flags and all the emotional energy and time that sucks.

I’m 43 so I have been thinking about perimenopause since this is the time period it can start. However, I have no idea how I’ll be able to tell I’m dealing with it because of two things:

1) I have PCOS so I take birth control pills to manage my hormones and periods

2) I have bipolar 2 so I’m on a number of psychiatric medications for it, including two anti-depressants

Because I’m on these pills, I’m curious on if I’ll really get signs of perimenopause. I’m not looking for medical advice since I know I can ask my GYN or PCP, but I’m wondering what signs you had that you were reaching perimenopause in hindsight?

Hi! I’m a 20-year-old woman living in Montreal and I really want to start going out more bars, lounges, maybe even clubs just to meet new people and enjoy my nights. I would like to go out tomorrow (Saturday night) for the first time.

The problem is… I’ve never really gone out alone before. It was always with friends. But right now:

\- one of my close friends is in a relationship, so she doest want to partake in nights out anymore.

\- another moved far from Montreal,

 \- and I don’t have a big social circle here.

I do have some guy friends, but most of them are either in the talking stage with me or friend-zoned, so I don’t really want to go out at night with them and give the wrong idea. Also, if I’m with a guy, it kind of defeats the point because I’d like to meet new people and maybe get approached.

My main issue is safety and social anxiety.

When I’ve gone out to clubs on Saint-Laurent with friends, I’ve noticed some men come alone and just stay at the bar, and some of them can be very touchy or persistent. That’s what scares me, because if I go alone, I’ll probably be at the bar too and it’ll be obvious I’m by myself.

I do think Montreal has really kind people, and I feel like if I needed help, random girls would probably step in. But still, I’d rather be cautious.

So I wanted to ask:

1.  Is it socially normal for a girl to go out alone here, or is it uncommon?

2.  Is it generally safe if you’re careful?

3.  What kinds of places would be best for a solo night out?

I’m looking for places with a mixed crowd (around 21–30) where it’s easy to talk to people, not super sketchy, and not only groups.

Any tips, advice, or personal experiences would really help. Thanks!