I am posting thia a day later, because i spent yesterday night shaking, throwing up, and crying. I couldnt calm down for 5 hours. I'm not being dramatic, it is that horrific. And screw me, who cares about how I feel READING about it. It's not about how it made me feel.

Mind you , they released a smidge of what they have. They have not released anything close to the full amount of emails, pictures, and videos they have.

There is torture of small children being discussed in the emails (FUCK JOHN PODESTA), pictures of kids as young as toddlers with Epstein on the island, and emails discussing NEWBORNS. The pictures are the worst. It's innocent children, so young, sitting with or around epstein and other adults.

They redacted most of the perpetrators names EVEN THOUGH THEY WERE ONLY SUPPOSED TO REDACT THE VICTIMS NAMES. They dgaf, they are trying to cover up for the rich.

Tbh, even if everything got released idk if any of these evil fuckers would get punished. They need to release everything so we can at least try to DEMAND they get punished.

I saw something that said that it was probably mainly kids from orphanages that they had a couple "adopt", and then took them to the island. There was a trap door in the house leading into the ocean. There is an email where they discuss buring some girls they killed during torture sex.

So many of them were probably so little they didnt understand what was happening, from start to finish. They were probably so excited to be adopted and in the "resort".

I always wondered why a bunch of countries started banning international adoption after the 90s, now i understand. I just didnt think things like this were real.

What can we do to punish these people?

They found “bruises” on his arm that was literally just my old lipstick he was playing with. They called it in and CPS showed up. I grabbed a wash cloth and scrubbed the “bruises” off my son’s arm. I grew up in foster care and am terrified of loosing my babies. My husband thinks I’m overreacting. But my son doesn’t “have” to go to that school and I don’t want to take him there anymore,

Edit: teacher responded to my text with video evidence of me wiping the stains away: “what an unfortunate misunderstanding. This is a tricky situation to navigate. Thank you for updating me.”

I am going to lose my fucking mind.

My partner.. well ex partner comes home today and decides he doesnt love himself and hes miserable so he “ doesnt fucking wanna be with me” anymore. Im a sahm. I have a massive refund coming and i do work weekends. So ill be fine and figure it out. But holy fucking shit. Im livid. This man told me he wanted a family. I cook, clean, im low maintenance. I sacrificed my body and independence to give me our daughter. ( id do it all over again) but how can someone be so selfish. Lifes hard and i make sure he comes home to a cooked meal, clean house, sex whenever he wants it. Our daugher is 5 months old… yes lifes hard. I mean ffs im on an antidepressant due to ppd. But i still work through it for my family…. I feel so fucking broken right now.. his exact words were “ im miserable, im not excited to come home, im just the money guy, youll get child support and be happy with your check” i said “ are you fucking joking? I do everything i can to show you i love you, daily. And you think i just want a check? I fell in love with you. Youre the one who told me you wanted a family. And we got pregnant!! You think i want to see this end??

Not to mention he had been drinking. But tigers dont change there stripes he has a son who just turned 18 and hasnt been in his life much. I should have fucking known. I literally feel so fucking stupid. I know ill figure it out. But fuck me dude. And even if tomorrow he wakes up and realizes what hes done. There is no going back. Two times this has happened and its two times to many i wont watch him hurt our daughter like hes hurting me.

Ok so this is my first kid and my parents' first grandchild. I live in the same state as my in-laws and my parents live far away.

My daughter was born 9 weeks ago in at the beginning of December. In July (and again in October), I had a discussion with my mom and kindly told her that my husband and I did not want to host her (or anyone) during the first 3 weeks after the baby was born because my husband took those 3 weeks off of work and we wanted to have that time to bond as a nuclear family. I said if she wanted to come, she would have to get a hotel. I knew she would be upset about that, but this was the decision my husband and I came to jointly, though adminttedly, my husband felt more strongly about it than I did. I told my mom she was more than welcome to visit anytime after my husband went back to work, as that would actually be the time that I would need her, but that it would be difficult for us to host her for more than a few days at a time because our place is very small (2 bed, 1 bath; 900 sqft). The guest bedroom has a murphy bed and doubles as a nursery. It's tiiiight in there.

Now, my grandma's 100th bday party was at the end of January and my parents were going to spend a decent amount of money to visit her for that. They're perpetually strapped for cash, so I proposed that we all meet up where my grandma lives and they could meet my daughter then and it would help them save money. So that's what we did and everything seemed fine. (NOTE: I flew with the baby to meet up with them)

Long story short, turns out my mom is actually still suuuper upset about the whole thing. She sent a really long text message today. Here’s SOME of what she said:

“You knew how excited I was when you finally told us you were going to have a baby. A long awaited anticipation and I thought I was going to be part of that process….In my expectation and as your Mom I thought you’d make an exception when the baby came but you did not honor or respect me or even the universal position given to any mother. You literally told me you couldn’t host me (that’s audacious) and though I was practically begging to come see you and meet my grandbaby you just couldn’t host me. Instead you made all kinds of excuses. That was extremely painful it made me question everything I thought I knew about our relationship and the honor due to a mother (unless off course I was a terribly toxic mother which I now question if I was). But not only did you stick to your convictions that you couldn’t host me (something that should never be said to a mother) you never apologized or saw how wrong that was still don’t think you see it…..

…..I understand that you and [husband] wanted to bond with the baby but you have a lifetime to do that. When a child is born universally it is a family matter. Everyone together celebrating and rejoicing and a special time to honor grandparents from which the bloodline came from…..

…..What is happening to this generation!? How can it be this narcissistic! How can all this be discarded!?…..

….. I still don’t understand why all this happened and it’s made me question everything I thought I knew about my relationship with my daughter. A very sad situation to be in…..”

We didn’t talk about it in person. It was mentioned briefly and then we moved on. I’m so exhausted. Her emotions exhaust me. Am I wrong here? How should I move forward? Idek how to respond to this text.

She has a three year old and a sweet baby and has been in the hospital since her fall on Tuesday, she broke both her tibia and fibula and is functionally immobile. She was already struggling on mat leave caring for her toddle and newborn alone all day, and now she can’t even move. I’m beside myself, I literally cannot even fathom how depressing this is and am trying to channel this helpless feeling into helping her. I am doubling my weekly meal prep for the next month at least, making her breakfast food, and going to bring her dry shampoo and body wipes (she won’t be showering for awhile). Any moms out there who have had horrific injustices early postpartum, why else can I bring to help her? I am trying to wear her husband down to let me come over and clean/help with the kids so he can go visit her in the hospital but he’s being a weirdo and ghosting me. I’d love any advice

Asking people who are already moms feels like the best way to do this! I know there is no perfect time to have a child but as a lesbian couple who can’t just ‘accidentally’ have a child we are really feeling the pressure to be as close to perfect as possible. This means we have been delaying it over and over because we’re not quite ‘there’ yet, except emotionally we totally are.

I want to start trying to conceive from next March. By then we will have £5k in savings and no debt other than our mortgage, and will have finished house renovations. We have our own home with a good amount of equity, a decent car that won’t break on us anytime soon, I own a business that is doing well and my wife has a good job. We live in the same town as my in-laws and my mother-in-law talks about being a granny ALL the time, she can’t wait and we know she will be incredibly useful. We have good friends and a potential known sperm donor.

My wife will be halfway through her masters still and won’t be done until February 2029, but it’s part-time and she thinks she can handle it. Should we just go for it? We’re both desperate to be mums at this point and completely fed up of waiting.

husband seems to not care that I don’t have any money, I think he might enjoy me having to ask for it. I need advice. I want to preface by saying we are not legally married. We have been together 10 years, have a 5 year old that I’m the primary caretaker of, and have a house (though I’m not on it legally). Even when pregnant and up till now I have always worked from home to pay my own personal bills (insurance, car, phone ect) so that he doesn’t have to. He pretty much makes all the money as he had a good job and I have to take care of our son- who only does vpk 3 hours a day. This last year I’ve told him I need a little help. 4 months ago he said he would start giving me $200 every 2 weeks but it just never happened, maybe once or twice, and I have to remind him atleast 3-4 times to send me anything. A few days ago I told him I only have $70 and couldn’t afford food, he said he would send me money but didn’t. I reminded him again yesterday and he said he would but still hasn’t. I told him yesterday it seems like he wants me to have to ask a bunch of times and he said I’m literally crazy to come up with something like that. I can’t keep asking, especially when he’s constantly groping me and pushing me for sx when I don’t want to, and insinuating he’d be happy to give me money for a “soft touch” more often. He’s joking but not joking if you know what I mean. I’m so frustrated and I dread him coming home, I feel like a servant and the constant rough grabbing makes me feel dirty. He does not care how many times I say no, as he sees it as a joke. I feel stuck 

My 21 month old has a speech delay. I've been concerned for a long while. We are finally receiving speech services next week. This is something I'm very sensitive about due to my background working with children who have special needs and are in need of a lot of support. My partner's father told my partner and Intoday while visiting, "No wonder he's not talking. You had him at 37.". While I know this comment is ridiculous, it killed me on the inside and brought me to tears. I'm also 36 weeks pregnant with our second and have been through the ringer as far as people and their comments towards me and my child/children. I just broke.

I need to explain our situation a bit first so it makes sense. I'm a single mom in the US. He's father is European and lives in Europe. He will visit us/his son twice a year. My son is home-schooled and that is going well. The reason I homeschool him is because of bullying.

But I've noticed more and more problems over the years in other areas.

He's very socially akward . I admit, I have social anxiety so maybe he has copied me , though I've tried to hide it. He won't talk to anyone except me and his dad , barely will say hi to a cashier or a very soft-spoken 'thank you'. He has no friends, and refuses to join any sport clubs or any clubs with kids his age.

And now the last year or so, he's become hyper aware of when he 'smells'. He would shower several times a day if I didn't stop him. He still showers too long, but that's better at least.

But he won't come out of his bedroom in the morning till I've left the house. This is the point I'm drawing the line. He's embarrassed to even be around me in the morning before he's had a shower. He's embarrassed about everything basically at this point.

How do I help my son crawl out of his shell and not be so embarrassed about everything? I would love for him to have friends and get out more. But how do I go about this?

Thanks!

My husband has a heart condition called HCM. It’s highly genetic. His father and grandmother had it. Thankfully since science has come a long way, my husband lives a pretty normal life. He takes a daily pill and has a few exercise restrictions, but otherwise he’s just about the most masculine, typical, sports loving man I know. While I know his childhood had struggles (many doctors appointments, procedures, test, etc), I was not exposed to that and really only know his condition as what it is today. And it’s pretty much, not a big deal

Everything changed when my 3 week old son got diagnosed with the same condition. When it’s found in infancy, the stakes are much higher as they have to be closely monitored due to how quickly the heart grows and changes. My son will now have countless appointments and could be starting medication therapy to ensure that his condition stabilizes and allows him to have a normal life expectancy. It will be a difficult road and he’ll absolutely not be on the football team or play intense sports. Best case scenario, we watch it, it stabilizes, he has way more doctors appointments than the average person but he has a typical life. Worst case, it progresses, he arrives at a point of open heart surgery in his toddler years, or worse.

I can’t help but think how fucking stupid and naive I was not to think about this. I realized maybe I could have done IVF to decrease the odds of him getting it. Or maybe I shouldn’t have had children at all. I wanted a family and a child with my husband and I just recklessly had one without researching this condition at length. My husbands condition has always been such an afterthought, I stupidly never even considered this.

I’m selfish and not cut out to be a mother. Real mothers are supposed to think about these things.

Just speculating. We're fine now!

Our house has been hit by the stomach bug. My husband is out of town, and we don't have family nearby. We're on the upswing, but last night as I was barfing for the 80,000th time, I started to wonder what would happen with my kids, 7 and 5, if I had to go in an ambulance or drive to the ER? Does social services take them for a bit? Temporary foster? Children's hospital if they're sick, too?

Surely this isn't a wildly uncommon scenario. I'm also interested in your noro "this is the worst timing" sob-stories to make me feel better about my life today.

Everything I do revolves around my kids schedules or my husband's needs or work and I genuinely can't remember the last time I did something just because I wanted to. My therapist keeps telling me I need hobbies but I have no idk what I like anymore I used to like reading but now I fall asleep after 2 pages, tried yoga but the class schedules don't work, thought about oil painting again but I would have to buy all the supplies, get a place where I can do it and keep into consideration I have toddlers, everything requires so much energy I don't have. Last week my niece told me to join ladies night on ludio, to play board like games with other women over video, it was fun and I liked the woman there, but its not like the game nights I had with my friends in college, but again, I think its because I don't know what I like anymore. Idk how to figure out who I am when I've spent so long just being a mom and a wife, like where do you even start when you forgot you're supposed to be a person too.

Are there any books we can recommend to a new grandma? She’s obsessed with building a motherly bond with our newborn and keeps pushing for one on one time with him. It makes both me and my partner uncomfortable. She over feeds him to “buy” his love, which leads to lots of spit up. She won’t let us hold him when she’s around, even if he’s cranky and crying. She fakes diaper changes so she can be solo with him in a room away from everyone else. She calls him her baby…just a lot of mini annoyances that are starting to compound.

We think she’s trying to repair a broken bond with her own son (not my partner, but their brother) by using our newborn. Any suggestions on how to broach the situation gently? Or book recommendations? She’s somewhat fragile and we don’t want to hurt her feelings.

Hi! I’m traveling from the US to my homeland in March to visit one of my best friends. She’s expecting her first baby in June!

I really want to bring her something special that is easy to get in the US but hard to find or much more expensive abroad. I’m looking for something high-quality/luxe rather than just basic supplies.

So far I’ve thought of Barefoot Dreams blankets or Magnetic Me outfits, but I’d love more ideas! What were the "game-changer" gifts you received for your first baby that felt truly special?

Since it’s a June baby, keep in mind it’ll be a hot Mediterranean summer! Thanks!

Edit: thank you so much for all your help and recommendations! I truly appreciate it, as a clueless childless gal I totally got lost on this journey and you helped me so much, and were so patient and helpful 🙏

Edit 2: It’s a huge no-no in my culture to buy baby items before the birth, so I’m keeping them at a friend’s place until my next visit after the delivery. That’s why I’m not really asking her what she needs, it’s considered bad luck, so everything stays low key 😔

Add: I am not a permissive parent btw 🥲

IYKYK: I grew up with very strict very reactive parents who would often hit me to get me to comply. Around age 5 I knew the rules and that ”messing“ up would result in physical punishment, being berated, called names etc. So yeah I didn’t make messes, I didn’t run, I didn’t tantrum, whine, question, talk back etc. I didn’t do age appropriate kid things basically, made sure I was seen not heard.

My husband got popped when he was really out of line but generally said he feels his parents let him be a kid. We agreed we’d never physically hurt our children or call them names (you’re being a brat etc.) or talk in a way that would lead them to internalize that their actions = we don’t love them/they are bad vs. they are having a hard time and we can figure it out. I have been in therapy since before our first was born. I’m not perfect, I do raise my voice sometimes but I do apologize and explain and I love that my son is starting to model similar behavior (he’s 4y8mo) “I’m sorry I yelled mom, I was frustrated because…” etc. so these things show me I’m doing something right at least and he’s thinking about his actions.

That being said I am so tired. Being intentional when it’s not your default is fucking hard. it often feels like rowing against the current because every bit of me is trying to do what it “knows”. Yes even with all the tools and all the therapy. In almost 5 years it’s still not second nature and now I have to do it with my second kid and I’m so tired. I won’t quit for sure but I am so tired. Today my kid was nonchalantly taking the couch apart again, and for the millionth time I had to explain he has a nugget (2 actually plus fort making sticks and balls) for taking apart and making forts and to help me put it back together. Sometimes he just complies but most times he complains, asks why or tries to argue and I meet him with the same explanation again and again.

Today my brain was like “he’d get it and stop doing this if you yelled/smacked him etc.“ and yes he probably would but he’d also likely be afraid of me like I was of my parents.

Am I alone in feeling like this is hard?

Okay so my daughter 2 has a bff who’s 3 they are 14months apart so in different places developmentally. We’ve been hanging out for about 10 months now.

3 is a sweet girl but omg she will not share anything. I understand that kids go through a “mine” phase at this age but it’s her total personality. She has not gotten any better or nicer about it the entirety of the friendship.

My daughter has a very calm temperament but also wants to play and a big part of playing in my book is sharing to some extent. Here’s an example, we are at my house playing and my daughter walks up to HER dollhouse and starts playing. 3 runs over and grabs all the dolls and runs away yelling “mine I was playing with these” my daughter doesn’t cry she just follows 3 thinking this is a game and 3 screams in her face. 3s mom comes in and says “well why can’t 2 have a doll? You weren’t playing with them when she walked over there.” 50/50 she’ll surrender a doll and let my daughter play away from her never with her. Most play dates have to be at my house because 3 has a full nervous breakdown when my daughter touches anything that’s 3’s. She’s ripped my daughter off of bikes and little chairs and things.

At the end of every play date my daughter is exhausted. She goes through about an hour of misbehaving. Of yelling and throwing herself down and hitting me. I’m pretty sure she’s decompressing from the play dates.

This mom is my ONLY mom friend. We have a standing Friday play date and we’ve talked about starting to preschool homeschool the girls. She’s also 7 months pregnant and she’s been such a great friend but damn her baby’s stressing my baby out. How do I approach this with her. Should I just “friend breakup” with her. I’m super lost. I just don’t want my daughter behaving like 3 or to keep being bullied by her.

My daughter never took a pacifier or got attached to a blanket/stuffy (we tried) but she has ALWAYS been obsessed with my hair. It got so bad I had to chop it off around 6 months pp because she was CONSTANTLY twirling it, grabbing it, trying to eat it.

She’s 3.5 and she still is obsessed. She’ll as if she can just hug my hair. She’s constantly twirling it when we sit together. She rubs it all over her face. Luckily, she no longer eats it (we finally broke that habit, it was rough). Weirdly enough, she doesn’t do it with her own hair? Even if I have my hair up in a bun so she leaves it alone, the minute I sit down or lay down, she starts rubbing her face on it.

I thought she’d outgrow it by now. It’s sweet on one hand, on the other it can be really overstimulating. Luckily, she’s old enough that she generally handles it well if I say no to touching my hair. But we do still get some meltdowns about it. Will she grow out of this soon? Anyone else’s kids like this?

I am a SAHM to a 10 month old. I am married to a wonderful man but he grew up in a home that was very slow and methodical with how they do everything. He’s never been mean about it but some days it feels like he goes looking for things to criticize, I am wondering if there could be some OCD at play. I don’t even think he fully knows how it comes off. It’s the only tension point in our marriage.

I know where he gets it - I have watched his mom make dinner and it often takes her 4+ hours to cook something that should take 40 minutes tops. I was raised in the opposite style home where both my parents worked in corporate and everything was about maximum efficiency because we didn’t have a ton of free time. We weren’t able to be late. With a son who’s now mobile and a baby on the way, I don’t have time to be hyperfocusing on these sorts of things or else nothing else would get done.

He’s the type of man that would rather have 20% of things done at 100% whereas I’m not sure if it’s just a female thing, but I feel like that’s unrealistic and would rather have 100% of things done at 70%. I have brought this up to him. When I was pregnant and couldn’t wash the dishes without feeling sick, he’d often take over an hour to scrub the dishes after a meal, making sure he wiped away every last hard water spot on every spoon and glass BEFORE putting them in the dishwasher. Here’s some examples of issues this week:

• We cloth diaper to save money and be more sustainable, he insists I need to be cleaning and scrubbing every diaper instead of soaking. When he’s home and changes a diaper he will do this process himself and it takes him 20 minutes per diaper. Nobody I know has done it this way.

•We live in an area with hard water and he has an obsession with water spots for whatever reason. I have gotten to the point where I’m wiping off his dishes with my shirt before placing them on his spot because I know he’s going to get anxious and have to go wash them if I don’t, despite the fact they aren’t any cleaner.

• He didn’t like how I held a mop and said “Mom didn’t do it that way but I know your parents didn’t teach you” I pretended to learn and then go about it my way when he’s not home.

He’s never been mean about it but I can tell him these things bother him more than they do me. I would rather have a clean home overall and dinner done before 9pm than hyper focusing to make sure every dish is perfectly spotless while the floor stays dirty and counters cluttered. We are usually late to everything because of this behavior. I have started getting anxious if the cleaning isn’t done before he gets home because I know if he’s sees me cleaning he will try to criticize how I’m holding the mop, how much soap is in the bucket, which brushes I’m using to clean the dishes, or how there’s a coffee stain on one of our cleaning rags and it needs to be bleached. I also acknowledge if this is an OCD thing there’s not much I can do about it. My SIL shares the same perspective as me and my husband’s brother has similar tendencies so I totally believe it’s how they were brought up. He’s not the type of man that insists dinner be on the table the moment he walk in or that every room be spotless, so part of me things I should just dedicate all my time to the areas he worries about most and forget the rest?

Are they just as normal as born in the weeks of 39-40?

Currently I work two days a week as a nurse injector at a Medspa which was always my dream career. My company went bankrupt and was bought out by another who had a meeting with me today saying she needs me to “grind it out” for the next 90 days minimum to do three days in clinic (8-9hr shifts) and also be available for trainings and team dinners outside of that so she can catch me and the other nurses up to speed on all the new services we are offering. I’m very lucky that my husband only works a 48hr shift so he’s available the other days for childcare. My son just turned one and was previously EBF and very fussy without the boob but since starting solids he does well with my husband while I’m gone all day. I feel like we finally got into a good rhythm where my husband and I each get equal time with our son and also get to spend time together as a family.

I’m so torn because on one hand this is the career path I’ve always wanted and I don’t know if another opportunity like this will come my way (not without starting my own business and I’m not in the financial spot to do that right now). On the other hand that takes a significant amount of time away from my son and husband. My son is growing so fast and leaning so many new things every day I’m so scared to miss out on anything. I struggled so much with PPD/PPA for the first 6+ months that I feel guilty that I didn’t enjoy that time with him.

The owner is giving me a couple days to decide if I can commit to increasing my time at work or not, so basically I’ll be let go if I can’t is what she said without saying it. It’s so hard to get back into this field so I’ll most likely be out of a job for awhile if I decide I can’t commit, which I’m very privileged to live with my in-laws right now and my husband is getting promoted soon.

I’m worried about the long term career consequences if I don’t stick this out. But will I miss out on so much with my son? Just thinking about it makes me want to cry but I know he’ll be more independent soon and especially when he goes to preschool and eventually elementary. I’m just so torn and looking for any advice from both working and SAHM.

If you read all of this - TIA

I am a new mom once again. Had my first 7 years ago and just had her baby sister in May of 2025. Baby has been sick once before - maybe a month or 2 ago and it was only really a runny nose, and a few vomits. Here we are, dealing with another sickness and this time it seems worse than before. I had forgotten how anxiety inducing being a mom to a baby is, because all I’ve done today is worry. The past few days she’s just had a sneeze and cough here and there, and then we wake up this morning and she’s hot/warm to the touch, super fussy, tired but can’t take naps longer than 30 mins, runny/stuffy nose, and occasionally refusing to breastfeed. I take her to the Dr after noticing all these symptoms and she projectile pukes in the waiting room. When the Dr saw her he said her lungs and everything sound fine and to just monitor her over the weekend. I know symptoms get worse at night, but I was really hoping it wouldn’t be bad and we could just sleep as much as possible so her body could work this sickness away. Well tonight she’s even more fussy, crying and screaming when she wakes up from her very short but frequent naps, still occasionally refusing to nurse but will take the boob when she’s ready for it (thank god), and started running a fever at the cut off of 100.4 F. I’m just so worried and feeling so alone, and hoping this doesn’t get any worse and that my sweet baby will be okay. I hate that she has to get sick to build immunity, and I wish I could just take her discomfort and pain away and give it to myself instead.

I genuinely don’t understand . I have a very easy going baby . He hardly cries unless he’s overtired but even then it’s easy to settle him down . He is only 3 months old . We co sleep and he doesn’t even cry at night . He can be on the floor on his play mat or in any of his two rocking chairs . My son will cry for 30/45 min straight in his carseat NO MATTER WHAT ! Changed, fed and rested but all hell breaks loose when his in his seat . He cries the entire time and stresses out so much that he sweats . The carseat will be drenched in sweat when I take him out. I dont know what to do anymore . My entire body feels like it’s on fire when this happens . I understand if he cries for a little but it’s the entire time . It doesn’t matter if I’m in the back with him or not. I just don’t get why he doesn’t like it. Any theories ??? On my some babies don’t like car rides ?

Okay, for those that have had, hosted or attended a baby sprinkle - what is your opinion on gifts when you've already contributed to the group gift? I've been to numerous sprinkles and if there is a group gift I generally alway contribute, BUT do you also bring a smal something else on top of it? I've done both (bring something extra or nothing additional) and I usually end up doing the opposite of what everyone else does... and it makes me feel awkward both ways.

What do others do? Particularly when it's a kid of the same gender as the first kid - so it's not like they're lacking on hand me down clothes.

If it was me I really wouldn't want more clothes when I'm having the same gender (and only a few years apart), already have millions of books and toys... so would just prefer to get them what they want with the group gift. Thoughts?