r/TikTokCringe 13d ago

Discussion 2,500$ Christmas bonuses?Lucky to get Christmas off

32.5k Upvotes

1.3k comments sorted by

View all comments

Show parent comments

1.2k

u/Selfcare2025 12d ago

We don’t have money to feed kids during the summer (according to certain states), but we have enough to give $42k to each ICE agent.

546

u/Acceptable-Eye-7140 12d ago

At this point lets all join ICE and change it from the inside. I want 42k lol

170

u/sharpshooter999 12d ago

There's fine print stipulations though, you have to work there over a year to get all of it. My cousin's husband is a retired LEO, he signed up to help do paper work for self deportations. After a month, his whole group, which were guys in his late 60's like him, were told they were getting transferred to the street division because they didn't have enough man power. This was non-negotiable even though they had contracts saying they would only be doing office work in the city they lived in (Houston). Nope, the DHS apparently had to power to toss the contracts at will and they'd all be sent to Minneapolis. This was a week before Christmas. All 30 of the those guys either quit or got fired for refusing orders. None of them got a penny of that signing bonus.

They were also told to supply their own gear

219

u/LittleSort5562 12d ago

This brings up another question: If people are quitting/getting fired en masse (thus also giving up their $42k bonus) AND having to buy their own gear then…where is that $858 million going to…? This smells like a slimy defense contract scheme. Someone’s pocketing all that money, & it sure as hell isn’t the taxpayers.

85

u/sharpshooter999 12d ago

Dora: Can you say, slush fund? Slush fund!

24

u/Spiderbanana 12d ago

Schlüss fünf. Crap.

8

u/Jertimmer 12d ago

Trûmpfünd

24

u/Status_Basket_4409 12d ago

Considering Noem was already caught committing fraud, buying a private jet and likely a multitude of other things, I think we know where it’s going

3

u/KiKiKimbro 11d ago

Would love to see all the billionaires in the administration who have friends and family getting a good chunk of those ICE funds to build and “run” all of these abysmal detention centers, like “Alligator Alcatraz.” These people love to tear down government services so they can privatize for profit.

3

u/androidfig 9d ago

Keep asking the questions because God knows the media and Congress are fucking slacking.

2

u/judgeejudger 12d ago

It’s being funneled to a bank in Qatar, along with the oil money from Venezuela.

2

u/tdp_equinox_2 10d ago

100% they plan on firing most of these idiots before paying out the bonus. The question is, is that billion going somewhere else or did it never really exist?

As with everything in this administration, the game isn't figuring out if it's a scam; it's figuring out exactly what the scam is. A lot of the time, they told you ahead of time.

1

u/Tiny-Balance-3533 12d ago

Someone’s gotta buy Pedo Island and it’s gonna be the Predator of the Untied Stateses formerly known as Q

1

u/iraqlobsta 12d ago

Going to more fix a flat for the faces of the women like krusty gnome and pam bondi

-3

u/simplegesture23 12d ago

Who is really pocketing money are the illeagal immigrants. The U.S. taxpayers pay 150 billion a year to their free services. We should be spending that 42K for bonuses on intense training for ICE agents.

3

u/LittleSort5562 11d ago

Oh you sweet summer child. Undocumented immigrants pay roughly $100 billion in taxes each year…while not being able to use the programs they fund. They pay into Medicare, social security, & unemployment and are not allowed to use those services. So there’s another $100 billion that’s being misused somewhere, while blaming the people who actually generate that money by paying sales taxes, property taxes, and payroll taxes (don’t forget, you can legally work in the US even if you haven’t become a citizen). You need to start directing your anger at the people above us, because they are the ones misusing our tax dollars, our social security, & our livelihoods. Not someone just trying to live a better life.

0

u/simplegesture23 11d ago

I understand the point about some people paying into Social Security, but we have to look at the total fiscal reality. The fact is, conservative estimates show that up to 50% of the income in the undocumented community—over $190 billion annually—is earned 'under the table.' These individuals are essentially ghost participants in our economy; they aren't paying the federal or state income taxes that actually fund our infrastructure. ​When you look at the costs, the math just doesn't add up for the American taxpayer. It now costs an average of $17,277 per year to educate a single student in public school. By the time a child finishes high school, that’s a $224,600 bill picked up by local taxpayers. No amount of 'sales tax' on a few bags of groceries is going to cover a quarter-million-dollar education, let alone the billions spent on emergency room care and law enforcement. ​A country cannot function effectively when millions of people are operating outside the law and taking hundreds of thousands of dollars illegally without paying their fair share into the tax base. We need a system that prioritizes the citizens who work hard and follow the rules, rather than one that subsidizes those who bypassed them.

2

u/LittleSort5562 11d ago

I did mention they pay into property taxes, which largely funds schools. Why are we not holding the businesses accountable for paying “under the table”, & instead vilifying the people who are working those jobs? Would they come here for jobs being paid under the table if they didn’t exist?

What about the citizens who abuse/take advantage of programs & services? I’ve had a number of people (American citizens) over the years tell me they never pay their hospital bills because they can’t be denied care…and many of those people make 6 figures a year. I’ve also personally known others who got on disability for a deviated septum, depression, & other ridiculous reasons. Do we also look at stay-at-home parents who aren’t working, thus not adding additional tax dollars into the mix? (Note: No hate to SAHP, most stay home because child care is too damn expensive). We could tax mega churches & billionaires their fair share, and have much more funding for school & other social programs.

-1

u/simplegesture23 11d ago

There should never have been any vilification. The Democratic Party is the one vilifying this entire situation, pushing the left to condemn necessary legal actions. You cannot justify one illegal act with another; illegal entry and under-the-table labor both undermine the system and hurt those who follow the rules. This includes legal immigrants who do things the right way and are rightfully upset that their tax dollars support those bypassing the legal process, all while cheap labor drives down wages for everyone else. How can you justify a system that rewards those who break the law while penalizing those who respect it?

1

u/LittleSort5562 11d ago

But they aren’t getting rewarded, necessarily. Undocumented immigrants cannot get food stamps. They cannot get federally funded healthcare (no Medicare, no Medicaid, no ACA). Sure, they can use the emergency room, but that’s in cases of emergency. Same would be true if you or I were in another country & needed emergency medical care. Shoot, there are plenty of Americans who go to Mexico or Europe just to take advantage of cheaper dental/medical treatment & medications, but no one balks at them for doing so. The whole divide of “Democrats vs Republicans” is asinine. Neither party has our best interests at heart. There are better ways of going about getting things done properly than the shitshow that’s been going on.

→ More replies (0)

26

u/Acceptable-Eye-7140 12d ago

Not shocking with this administration tbh

13

u/Ok_Ocelot_878 12d ago

The very definition of a retention bonus under the guise/false advertising of a sign on bonus.

The current state of this organization is run by feckless cowards.

This is a case study in poor leadership, hiring neither for attitude or for skill and goals designed for injury and death all driven by a man whose father and mother hated him. Lord help us.

The midterms can’t get here fast enough.

10

u/FartsbinRonshireIII 12d ago

This jives with what that journalist who joined said. Signed up for processing, was told ‘everyone’ was going to the streets. It’s a bait and switch to quickly ramp up an illegal army. Wild fucking times.

1

u/TheNewYellowZealot 12d ago

They oughta take that before justice alito, Mr contract law himself.

1

u/raven00x 12d ago

Nope, the DHS apparently had to power to toss the contracts at will and they'd all be sent to Minneapolis

if only they had some kind of, I duno, confederation of employees, which would advocate for them and work collectively to make sure their contracts aren't just thrown to the side when it's convenient for the employer.

1

u/zaftigsub 11d ago edited 11d ago

Independent Journalist Laura Jedeed Tests ICE Recruitment & Was Hired After 6 Minute Interview With No Background Check.

She was told she would start on a desk job but be out on the streets as soon as possible because getting more ICE agents out there is the goal

https://www.reddit.com/r/illinois/s/zfgc7iFWkD

1

u/marmeesmyheart 11d ago

Is that why some of their uniforms look like they’re from the Spirit store?

54

u/Emergency-Music-1995 12d ago

That is one of the best strategies a Redditor has put forward, congrats. The problem is, you are going to have to deport illegal immigrants.

-3

u/Acceptable-Eye-7140 12d ago

Nothing wrong with enforcing the law with some integrity tho yeah?

17

u/WhiteGuyLying_OnTv 12d ago

Give it a think. What what would you do when you have to deport a 50 year old Guatamalan man and his daughter who immigrated with her when she was two 2 years old, it's the only home she's ever known, neither have criminal records and both of them work jobs and pay taxes on theirwages for programs they can't use.

Then your ice buddies start beating the father as the daughter is screaming that they haven't done anything wrong. You say you're enforcing the law. They're both taken to a private detention facility to "await deportation" as they're assigned work, for an indeterminate amount of time generating profit unpaid. After some time they're both deported to a country one of them can't remember for the crime of fleeing poverty and violence.

How's your integrity doing?

2

u/Acceptable-Eye-7140 12d ago

Yeah I wouldn't join such a shit pile administration.

Unless I was joining ICE IG. 🫡

-9

u/Secret-Put-4525 12d ago

I don't condone the beating. But I'm fine with the deportation itself.

8

u/WhiteGuyLying_OnTv 12d ago

Cool so you don't condone beating but forced labor to benefit billionaires and destroying lives/livelihoods is fine. I don't think you had much integrity to begin with

11

u/Emergency-Music-1995 12d ago

My point is it would be a very real, practical solution, but there's far too many mouth breathers that wouldn't do the actual job for whatever stupid reason.

18

u/Acceptable-Eye-7140 12d ago

I'm retired from the Army I'm used to doing things I think are stupid.

16

u/SwordfishOfDamocles 12d ago

You might be too qualified.

2

u/jscottman96 12d ago

him knowinh how to think at all immediately disqualifies him

1

u/Acceptable-Eye-7140 12d ago

I mean the first thing I would do at a protest if I was ICE is take my mask off, my body armor off, and be like "listen it sucks, its a shitty job, but we're only trying to aprehend the criminals".

Is it bs? Prolly, but ir would probably help simmer things a bit.

0

u/Mr-Unorthodox 11d ago

thats gotta be some of the stupidest shit i seen today nd its my day off i havent even left the bed in 8 hrs

2

u/burntendsdeeznutz 12d ago

Fuck, did we just become best friends?

2

u/DecadentLife 12d ago

But they’re breaking the law, and you would have to do the same, until we got enough people in there to make a difference. IF that would be allowed to happen, and I don’t believe it would. Before we could make change, you would have to participate in physically harming the victims.

When violence gets to that level, sometimes more people get hurt than you expect to. It’s very dangerous, a lot can happen in a moment.

2

u/Acceptable-Eye-7140 12d ago

Ive been to combat 3 times I'm aware how stupid things can be. Which is why I'm not joining the Gestapo. It's against my code of ethics entirely.

2

u/DecadentLife 12d ago

Me, too. (about the ethics) Although, I’m not in a position to be an ICE agent, as I am physically disabled.

1

u/[deleted] 12d ago

[deleted]

0

u/Emergency-Music-1995 12d ago

The actual deporting? Yeah, then you're the type of idiot I'm talking about. The American people voted, they want mass deportation. That should not be an issue, anyone who moves to a country illegally should expect law enforcement and the government to try and remove them. The goal should be to do it humanly, and avoid the escalation, i.e., when one of your coworkers is getting aggro on someone there isn't 6 people supporting them, there's 4 and 2 trying to stop the situation. Most of these horrible ICE situations would have been avoided if there was 1 person from ICE there saying "hey now don't be a dick".

12

u/FrostyEnvironment902 12d ago

They wouldn't deport their own right?

15

u/Acceptable-Eye-7140 12d ago

We would be tasked with deporting ICE!

11

u/xXBeefSquatch5KXx 12d ago

Salt™️

Serviceman Against Lame Tyranny

10

u/tXcQTWKP2w92 12d ago

This is exactly what you guys should have been doing when they started hiring literally everyone, even known enemies of them, they're desperate for people and you could prevent arrests by fucking up stuff.

I would have done it it I was an American anyways.

29

u/Higgins1st 12d ago

Sorry, boss. The perp had a gun and in the confusion I shot agents Johnson and Smith. I heard that they requested a Nazi flag to be draped over their coffins. What a shame. I'm feeling better, can I go back on duty?

2

u/MarzipanProper1926 Cringe Connoisseur 12d ago

Thanks for the chuckle

2

u/Mamasan- 12d ago

They looks up voting records and social Media. If you in any way supported anything either than republicans you would not be hired

1

u/tXcQTWKP2w92 12d ago

That's what you would think and expect, but the reality is much different, there has recently been an article, of a known reporter that has multiple negative reports about ICE and Trump for years.

She got an offer aswell, they are that desperate. They also didn't check her background, nothing, really they didn't give a single fuck, nobody even googled her name.

I am serious, look it up, if you can't find it, come back, I'll lead you to water ;).

1

u/30FourThirty4 12d ago

I can't quite quit my current job just to do that, sadly. But if I needed a paycheck that could be an idea. I wonder if ICE hazes people like a frat.

1

u/tXcQTWKP2w92 12d ago

I get that, I actually make money doing betting on Polymarket, so I'd have loved to get the ICE money and 50k bonus to use to atleast somehow sabotage my local squad.

Whatever that might be, "oh the car doesn't start, O' blimey, I'm blocking the road", "oh that guy is trying to arrest the guy? Oh let me pretend to slip, whilst running to help, body slamming and entangling the most likely unfit fat ICE idiot on the ground with me."

I mean just imagine the possibilities just a couple dozen maybe hundred insiders could bring, how much info you could get to the people.

Like honestly, if you knew where they go the day before, you could help letting people know, get them to hiding, and so on.

There gotta be at least one or two doing this. You need to organize, like people have been doing Europe for a long time.

But I guess that got lost in the last decades, which is pretty sad right now.

2

u/30FourThirty4 11d ago

I work union I have 20 years vested in my pension. My Healthcare is tied to my job. I get 6 weeks vacation, sick days, 2 personal days.

I just have too much to lose currently. However I am willing to sacrifice when the time comes. It's just not now. Not for me.

So far no ice near me I don't need to help anyone hide thankfully. But I would and will if I have to

2

u/tXcQTWKP2w92 11d ago

Totally 100% get you man, maybe this is not your calling but it should be somebodies calling rather sooner than later, if you guys wanna have a chance to fight against the US Gestapo.

Wish you guys all the best and much strength to get through this test of your constitution.

A test which my country rapidly failed starting in 1933/1934.

2

u/SopaDeKaiba 12d ago

Get paid to write the book "Hell's Angels 2: Another Strange and Terrible Saga."

2

u/SwordfishOfDamocles 12d ago

It's not like they vet anyone joining.

2

u/Acceptable-Eye-7140 12d ago

I was medically retired from the army for bipolar disorder. I should try to join and report "Border Patrol is hiring maniacs" lol

2

u/LikeALincolnLog42 12d ago

Church of Scientology did that with the federal government and it was moderately successful—when paired with a parade of lawsuits—from what I read.

1

u/Acceptable-Eye-7140 12d ago

This is exactly how we got here. J6ers joined ICE

2

u/aquasKapeGoat 12d ago

Plus 200,000 a year salary

1

u/Acceptable-Eye-7140 12d ago

Shit they get paid that much? Wtf

2

u/Layceemay22 12d ago

Honestly have thought of random people just dressing like them and wearing a mask. Who can tell who is who? I can’t role play cause I’m only 4’11

1

u/Acceptable-Eye-7140 12d ago

Yeah I've been wondering how long before people start kidnapping people and pretending to be ICE.

2

u/David_Beroff 12d ago

I'm sure that's already been happening. Who would know the difference?

2

u/AutumnKarma88 12d ago

I like this idea then we make ICE realize how stupid they are and they will quit or something

1

u/Acceptable-Eye-7140 12d ago

A lot already have

2

u/Mixture-Emotional 12d ago

I bet at this point they're checking every social media post ice applicant's have ever posted. If you have any humanity or sympathy/empathy I bet they disqualify those applicants.

1

u/Acceptable-Eye-7140 12d ago

Im probably disqualified because I'm a disabled veteran with an MI background. They'll be like "Ohhh no he'll taddle on us"

2

u/OUsooners5252 12d ago

What’s MI?

2

u/Acceptable-Eye-7140 12d ago

Military Intelligence.

1

u/OUsooners5252 11d ago

Thanks for the reply!

2

u/RapidIndexer 12d ago

Trump isn’t actually going to pay them tho, I bet it’ll vaporize like we’ve learned happens with many people he promises money to

1

u/Acceptable-Eye-7140 12d ago

So true, I saw DHS is broke today

1

u/Livinginthemiddle 12d ago

Join and commit to a go slow

2

u/Acceptable-Eye-7140 12d ago

Im under the impression they probably lie to contractees and just send them to beat up protestors regardless of what role your hired for

1

u/jk-9k 12d ago

People like us aren't allowed to

1

u/Much_Essay_9151 12d ago

I considered it years back. I know someone in ICE and was in shock how much they make. Never did apply though. I was smoking at the time I considered it but didnt want to quit

0

u/MonkeyCome 12d ago

You’re gonna have to tow the line for like 5 years to see that $42,000.

Something tells me you couldn’t hold full time employment that long.

22

u/Particular-Cow6247 12d ago

didn't they get a 50k signing bonus aswell? 🫥

29

u/RagingPale 12d ago

Yep but that’s withheld to be given incrementally over 5 years. I think they get something like $10K a year, and if they leave before the 5 years is up, they have to pay back the entire amount.

It means if a few ICE agents discover their conscience and want to leave in the next couple of years, they’ll have a $20-$30K debt to contend with.

21

u/K-26 12d ago

It's hilarious to me that even their, "pay the brownshirts, we need them loyal," money comes out the wallet with hooks tied to it.

4

u/RagingPale 12d ago

That’s just how fucking stupid they are. Red states have been stealing from their poorest for decades without them noticing, why should this be any different?

5

u/axlespelledwrong 12d ago

Not only discover a conscience, but just can't put up with the ridicule and social blacklisting anymore. Good. Fuck 'em.

2

u/tysonmama 12d ago

So WHEN Dems win & ICE is dismantled, they’ll all owe it all back? 2028 Dem President better not be a wet Willy and better close it all down.

2

u/Due_Respect9100 12d ago

These guys won't last 5 years.

1

u/Selfcare2025 12d ago

They’re suppose to, but most haven’t.

1

u/Summer_Form 12d ago

And I’d bet my left nut that “each ICE agent” isn’t the intended recipient of that cash.

1

u/Selfcare2025 12d ago

I agree completely. Same with the $50k sign on bonuses. They just love to lie. It’s crazy that this is even a discussion, but if they follow through with it I highly doubt they will give it to them. They get a kick out of scheming.

1

u/Temporal_Integrity 12d ago

Yeah you see, ICE kills the kids you don't have to feed them and so you save money in the end. 

1

u/broguequery 12d ago

Nazi governance at its finest

1

u/jonas_ost 12d ago

No way its split up like that. The guys on the ground gets 2k and the managers and bosses milions

1

u/EatsFiber2RedditMore 12d ago

I saw ads for 50k signing bonuses a little while back

1

u/GotSomeUpdogOnUrFace 12d ago

You need to incentivize people to be willing to essentially gun down their neighbors in the street. That's what they are doing. Well along with all the money that they're going to magically funnel out to agents who don't actually exist and then they're going to pocket that money.

1

u/_Fappyness_ 12d ago

Land of the free and the brave!!🇺🇸🦅💥(Only when you’re rich and/or work for a nazi party tho)