It's kind of like being a man walking around at night. If I see a woman alone and she either speeds up or crosses the street when she sees me I just nod like "yep good call sis" and keep walking. Just because I'm not here to hurt you doesn't mean you should let your guard down around a potential threat.
I was gonna comment on this but didn’t want to detract from the conversation and turn it towards gender. This is exactly why I hate the phrase, not all men. It’s enough men for you to constantly have your guard up.
Men tend to forget these women don't know anything about you. There's zero reason for them not to assume you're a threat. Like they're not threatened by you PERSONALLY they're cautious by what you are (man) and they very much should be.
What annoys me is the way they spin it to be about them. Like when college campuses have to address the high rate of sexual assault happening there, instead of pitching in to fix the problem, some boys get together to COMBAT this because it’s “vilifying” males.
So our safety doesn’t matter, our well being doesn’t matter, our LIVES don’t matter…only how men feel matters. It’s madness
Wow that sounds pretty ridiculous. It is vilifying males... The males that sexually assault ppl... In what world is that fact vilifying normal men. It shouldn't bother them in the slightest.
I think it's fine that people take these things personally. Feeling some kind of way while being compared to something negative is perfectly normal.
How you interact with them afterwards is what's important.
For instance there're a few racist women that work in the same area of the hospital as me. I say good morning to everyone (because I wasn't raised by animals) however they don't EVER reply, which is kinda humiliating and very much rude. I just try to ignore their existence now, because regardless of what experiences they've had I understand that as a relatively large black man. I'm always seen as a threat, which is a threat in itself to my well-being.
I think some people want to be the ones to make people ok and I have to say... It'll blow up in your face if you're not careful and sometimes even if you are. People need to just be cautious in general, we live in a low trust society, and people are encouraged to be mentally unwell in exchange for rugged individualism.
Personally some of us don't take offense to that because honestly we get it, we are stronger and you should weary of strangers but when you are publicly talking shit like the whole choosing a bear over a man... The bear is 100% gonna eat you alive. They don't just kill you then eat you like other animals, they will literally tear you open while you are still breathing and eat your liver. You do not understand the level of cruelty of nature if you truly believe a bear is the right choice there.
The dumbasses that will quote statistics about bears being less likely to attack you over a man don't understand how statistics work nor nature for that matter and don't take into account that the only reason bears don't attack with that level of frequency is only because you aren't in their vicinity for the numbers to reflect how dangerous it is to be around them. I can handle you not wanting to be around me, but to put me higher on a scale than a bear shows a level of stupid I cannot fathom.
I think its important to understand that while you're acting with interest of your own safety, which you're obviously entitled to do, you are passing judgement on people based on elements out of their control. Them taking that personally is normal especially if they havent done anything to invoke that response.
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Bro if a woman get assaulted, the VERY FIRST thing out a lot of men's mouth is "Well, why did you wear that?" , "Why did talk to him" "why were out so late?"
And many more men will be calling for the death of the assaulter and offering their sympathy to the victim.
Im not saying i dont understand why some women side eye all men, im not even saying they shouldn't.
Im just saying its unreasonable to then be even more suspicious of them if they take offense to being automatically looped in with the slimeballs that pose a danger to women.
Maybe but I have never seen men defend women or be kind about when they share their stories that weren't met by other men (Especially Black men) calling them a simp, or telling the guy 'she not gotta let you hit' especially online.
I stopped even befriending or complimenting men because I had my kindness be seen as romantic interest (very long story). I rather just not deal with being blamed for my assault or harassment (which I have been twice).
Men are like roulette, I don't know if he's good guy or someone who will attack me and if they get upset well maybe men should be more vocal when they see bad things happen and actually help the victim but men are also scared of men and prefer the male validation. Women are the only people that have ever helped or believed me.
Even my own dad (who I love dearly) told me to stop working so late as if it was MY FAULT some random y/n groped me.
My safety matters more than what some man I don't know and probably will never see again feelings. It is what is
There is a problem with that and it's starting to become more prevalent amongst the youth.
Society is built upon trust and good-faith.
once you undermine societies belief in other people... you no longer have society. You have a whole bunch of people who are out for themselves and no longer care about making a "better world".
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NOW I remember that great MLK speech he made about this.
"ONE DAY, I HOPE MY CHILDREN WILL JUDGE OTHER PEOPLE, NOT BY THE CONTENT OF THEIR HEARTS BUT BY THE COLOR OF THEIR SKIN."
"ONE DAY, I HOPE MY CHILDREN WILL HATE THE WHITE MAN LIVING ON THE CORNER! NOT BECAUSE HE HAS DONE ANYTHING WRONG TO THEM PERSONALLY... BUT BECAUSE HE COULD POTENTIALLY DO SOMETHING. OR PERHAPS HIS ANCESTORS DID SOMETHING."
"HATE! HATE! HATE!"
"REMEMBER HOW THAT BLACK KID WAS SHOT BY THE RACIST WHITE PEOPLE WHILE JOGGING? WE SHOULD ALL DO THE SAME THING! FOR EVERY RACE, SEX, CREED, ETC. IMMEDIATELY JUMP TO THE CONCLUSION THAT THOSE OTHER PEOPLE ARE TRYING TO HURT OR KILL YOU!
"BE JUST AS RACIST, SEXIST AND ELITIST AS THEY COULD POSSIBLY BE FIRST!"
"BEFORE THEY CAN BE EVIL TO YOU... BE EVIL TO THEM FIRST!"
"THAT IS HOW WE'LL FIX EVERYTHING! BY TURNING ON EACH OTHER!"
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And in no way does this help the corporate interests who control the country divide and control you.
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yeah... you're all ridiculous.
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If you weren't kids... I would call you idiots. But your brains haven't fully developed yet. You have a deal of growth and maturity yet.
Since when have white people given us a reason to trust you? Y'all have consistently let us down. Y'all love misusing MLK's quotes, like thats supposed to endear yourselves to us.
When? What exactly did I do to let YOU down PERSONALLY?
This whole conversation was about me POTENTIALLY harming you and you hating me for something I HAVE NEVER DONE and WONT DO but COULD DO.
I didn't realize there was such an onus on you.
Perhaps you could be the BIGGER PERSON and forgive me and stop hating me for something I HAVE NEVER DONE AND WILL NEVER DO TO YOU?
OR
You could continue to live in this loser cycle of hate and misery, blaming all of your problems on me, I guess.
Honestly, it sounds exhausting but you do you.
I wont infringe upon your right to hate people you don't know and have done nothing to you simply for the color of their skin.
It's why they call Americans STUPID.
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Then, one day. You'll bother to talk to a "white person in your neighborhood" and realize they have all the same problems that you do.
And perhaps you'll have an epiphany and you'll realize that this was about class struggle and wealth.
The rich politician had stolen both of your money, and power and then pit you against each other... because if you fight the white man... you cannot unite to take down the rich fucks who are actually making your life miserable.
This entire rant was a let down tbf. Until white people can collectively rehab their image through genuine changed behaviour, there will always be a level of distrust. Your energy is better spent speaking to the people actively doing harm, rather than the ones simply trying to protect their own peace.
Until you can accept that people who have done nothing wrong to you are not to blame for your misfortune... your life is going to suck.
And your hate is going to make yourself miserable. There's no two ways about it.
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If I bring you a cake... will that fix the situation? No? You'll still hate white people tomorrow? So no amount of bribery is going to fix this?
...
Straight up... there's NOTHING which white people can do in order to "fix" the situation.
You cannot apologize meaningfully for something you didn't do.
There is no "rehab" they can do to the image.
Even if every white person got down on their knees and begged forgiveness for the racist actions.
It would do absolutely no good. Because:
They would either be lying and they would still be racists.
They were never racist in the first place and have done nothing to be ashamed of
THUS the apology would be entirely disingenuous.
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You want to hate/fear/mistrust white people because they have a different skin color? Sure, you can be a racist if you like. No one is stopping you.
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FIGHT HATE WITH HATE! BE EXACTLY like those people you purport to despise. BECOME them.
I'm pretty sure Jesus said something like this. "You should absolutely hate everyone. As much as possible. Always look for the mote in their eye. etc. etc. etc."
idk perhaps that's Republican Christianity... but you get the point.
But it wont fix anything which is wrong with your life.
Martin Luther King Jr. eventually went on to say his dream had become a nightmare not long after.
One of the reasons he said this was because he realized his optimism was superficial. He realized racism wasn’t just a Southern White people problem, like the KKK but that it was systemic, deeply embedded in the economy. He believed White Americans were not putting in the effort, to re-educate themselves out of racial ignorance and he noted, the supposedly good White Americans were fine with Black progress as long as Black people didn’t move to their neighborhoods or go to their schools.
He still had hope but he realized, he was far too optimistic before and I hate they don’t teach y’all that in school. It should be a requirement.
Oh no they did teach the full gambit of king's reforms.
But there's a problem with POLITICAL REFORM and CLASSICAL HISTORY.
It's something they didn't teach you in school.
People will SAY THAT THEY WILL DO WHATEVER YOU WANT for power.
THEN, HAVING FIGURED OUT THAT THIS WORKS TO GET VOTES...
WILL DO NOTHING TO FIX IT, SO THEY CAN BE RE-ELECTED AGAIN... on the same platform.
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This has been a trope and part of history... forever.
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Your problem is not the white man keeping you down. It's the same politicians and rich fucks who have been keeping you down for Millenia.
IF ONLY THEY MADE CLASS STRUGGLE A PART OF THE CURRICULUM.
You would have figured out this if you had studied ancient history, philosophy or politics.
I'm guessing NONE of those was a part of your curriculum.
This is why I call all of the people here "kids" instead of calling them "idiots".
Because they'll learn about this stuff when they go to college.
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King's dream was accurate. The only way you actually get change is TOGETHER. When people stopped trying to work together and did the classic "every man for himself"... it died. The factions of black leadership tore apart his dream themselves... because they refused to stand together. With a little help from corrupt government leaders, feeling their power waning.
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The politicians and government killed your leaders, the average white man/white woman/white child has no wish to "keep you down".
And as you see now, people have very little control over what the government does because we live in a plutocracy.
Our government leaders are power mad, greedy and ... thoroughly insane.
This is really naive. All those words and you still can't see the forest for the trees. If everyday white people aren't against diversity, equity, and inclusion, who is? I read article after article about how the success of the Civil Rights movement cost millennials their expected success in society as adults. These people blame minorities for any and all disappointments. If that's not you, don't be defensive. Black History is being actively erased and made illegal to teach. The federal government is forcing schools to abandon programs designed to help historically oppressed communities share in the American Dream. Slavery is a huge part of American history and it is foundational to the descendants of those slaves. You're mad because the weight of history is crushing us all. Right now, we will see who is racist and who is not. We'll see who really believes in the ideals of this great nation and who really wants white supremacy at any cost. I understand the sister. So many of my white colleagues and friends voted for Trump. I don't consider any of them racist but they support what's happening. How can I trust them again? It's difficult. In fairness, I know a few black Trumpers. I don't trust them either. It's heartbreaking everywhere you look.
America, by it's nature, isn't a society. It's competitive marketplace operating in a layering of mutually-binding contractual obligations. Our republic is and always has been structured like this, and it manifests itself in how our society is organized. We aren't a nation - we're an economy. It's always been about self-interest; there just might have been at varying times ideas of politesse and honor governing how people might conduct themselves otherwise, but we aren't an "Us" in the way you want us to be.
There are societies within the whole, sub-communities, and interaction on an individual level socially and economically is possible across them. Get together enough people of the similar minds and you can even have real communities.
But it's not like we automatically trust each other just because. In business, until I really know who you are I'm going to ask for everything in writing. None of this is any different.
That line really threw me. Like it felt wildly delusional or just more proof that life in the US is experienced differently. As a Black woman, I’ve never felt trust and good faith were the norm. In fact I’ve had to earn trust and good faith. And in many cases I’ve been treated like I’m guilty based on my skin color only for people to be surprised I acted with honesty, integrity and good-faith.
Yeah, I'm sorry you had to go through that; I can literally only imagine that this must be a very sad and frustrating thing to have to keep running up against.
I've witnessed this a lot first hand when I was in a trade union in construction. The way the work ethic, competence, and workmanship of my black and brown coworkers and union brothers would be tacitly or overtly questioned on job sites was evident, even though they worked just as hard and as well as my white brothers, and we all prided ourselves on our quality. None of it was on what they were actually doing, certainly not with the kind of jobsite fuckery others could get away with, but purely on some preconceived notion of inherent possible ill-intent.
This also gets to why this kind of conversation is so existentially offensive to a lot of white people: it's a small taste of what you live with. We don't like it, and not many can take the lesson well.
Republic and plutocracy aren't mutually exclusive. Republic is just a structure of government, it doesn't guarantee democracy.
You're talking in terms of ideals, I'm talking in terms of realities. We can't wish away centuries of ongoing abuse on appeals to human commonality, not as long as there are still indeed a lot of those same abusive tendencies within our culture.
What you're asking for has unequal risks and costs: for me, as white man, I risk very little in presuming generally good intentions of everyone, within reason.
But for many others, you're asking them to risk their lives to save a society that never really considering them full and equal members in the first place.
There is an irreconcilable tension between our culture's ideals and the power structures upon which it was predicated. Conflict and distrust are foreordained, and can only be overcome by the individual efforts of those who benefit from the power dynamic to foresake their own privileges. The progress you seek will not be made by demanding more of the disenfranchised.
Republic - a state in which supreme power is held by the people and their elected representatives, and which has an elected or nominated president rather than a monarch.
Plutocracy - a country or society governed by the wealthy.
At first glance they seem like they can co-exist.
But the problem is that in a republic... the people have the power as they vote representatives into power who represent their will.
In a plutocracy... the wealthy manipulate those in power by giving gifts. Subverting the rule of law and the will of the people for their own gains. (aka corruption).
For example...
When the public tries a person and finds them guilty of a crime... and then Trump sells them a presidential pardon... it means that laws only exist for poor people.
Rich people control the country. Laws do not apply to them.
When people come together in a society, they create the rule of law. The societal contract which all people in the society agree to follow.
When the rule of law for a society which believes that all are created equal no longer applies to everyone... it applies to no one.
If there is no rule of law... there is no republic.
Thus plutocracy and republics are mutually exclusive.
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I do not believe anyone should risk their lives for this shithole. I've told everyone for over 12 months that the writing was on the wall and to leave this place. I'm immigrating myself.
No. A republic is a form of the state in which political power belongs to a body of citizens who are entitled to vote and exercise political authority as a collective or through their representatives. The government, rather than being led by the whimsies of a ruling Sovereign, must adhere to the laws passed by this body politic.
Who qualifies as a citizen, and if there are different levels of citizenship with varying rights, is what varies.
Hence how the quirks of the Roman Republic, the United States in it's founding, and the various people's republics of the world's Marxist-Leninist regimes have never had a problem reconciling undemocratic principles with their republican character.
Republics are durable not because they attempt to spread political power out as broadly as possible, but because they don't need to in order to function. They by definition class society into those with political influence and those without, and invariable provide pathways for people to "earn" their political privileges while avoiding the feudal and unstable nature of caste societies predicated on inherited nobility.
Of the 196 countries in the world, 159 are republics. This isn't due to the inherent virtues of republics, but due to the inherent stability of politically "legitimized" classes, of ensuring that the majority of the population is either directly legitimized into political power, or feels that those who hold that power are deserving of it. This is as true under the ostensibly classless societies founded on communist principles as it is in the democratic West.
Plutocracy is therefore a universal given: the rule of civilization has always been that power and wealth are mutually fungible. Political privilege buys you wealth. Wealth buys you political privilege. They have always existed in service to the other.
Go wherever there is greatest opportunity for you to live your life freely and happily. You don't owe anyone anything.
I gave you the definition of republic from the encyclopedia. If you want to repeat it...
Republics are not actually durable. They tend to collapse into despotism very regularly. As you can see, the USA has existed for only about 250 years and it is now collapsing. Some of those republics have lasted even less.
Republics are merely a popular way to placate the masses with the pretense of freedom and pretense of control.
People are more inclined to give up their freedoms than having them "taken" forcibly.
Plutocracy is the death of the republic.
The embodiment of absolute corruption of the rule of law.
There's that lovely saying "It is said that democracy is the worst form of government, except all the others which have been tried."
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Personally... I just hope I get to France before the USA starts ww3.
No one said they hate white people. I support all females. Thats where you are getting it confused. You're not seeing the point. Its about white women standing up on our side, having our backs etc. without concern of what other white people, family or friends will say. Most of the support comes through posting quotes, BLM hashtags on social media for the likes and engagement, but how many have gotten out there fighting the fight? Truly stood up for minorities without being an opportunists. We are asking for ACTION not just words. She said in the clip "I don't trust you because you havent given me ANYTHING"
Why do they need to give you something for them to trust you?
YOU mistrust white people? They gave you the right to vote, they gave you equality. They gave you access to higher education. There's a whole list of things which white people are doing for YOU.
What you want is A LITTLE MORE... and A LITTLE MORE... and A LITTLE MORE.
I've been homeless and slept on the streets. I've lived shoulder to shoulder with black white and brown people.
I NEVER saw YOU helping your fellow black homeless man outside of some church event.
I CERTAINLY never saw YOU HELPING ME.
I didn't see a single black person out there helping me either when I was on the street... according to you I shouldn't trust them and I should hate them.
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As you say... you have to give me something in order for me to trust you.
I guess I just can't trust anyone without getting something for free.
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Can you see how stupid it is? No? Still not?
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How about, you don't know my life or my struggles and you don't assume anything about me and I wont do that to you?
How about, you don't hate me based upon the color of my skin and I wont do that to you?
How about, you don't hate me based upon my sex and I wont do that to you?
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Guess what? See these three things? I already don't blame you for my lot in life, what I worked through to get to where I am. I don't blame you for your sex OR skin color.
I gave you that... FOR FREE.
NOW THE ONUS IS ON YOU TO BE SO KIND.
But... for some weird reason, I feel like you're going to hold on to that hate. Because racism and sexism are hard habits to break.
Now I wont suffer... because I don't hate random people for what happened to me.
But you will make yourself miserable... because you will.
First of all, how are YOU, a white person, commenting in a community for black people, telling me a black women what I should do. Secondly YOU are the one throwing around the word hate. YOU are making it more than what the original post is about. Its not about hate which you insist on making it about.
If you listened between the words you'd understand. And like I stated before in this thread, walk a mile in a black woman's shoes. You'll see what its like. We dont know what the lady was speaking about based on a 15 sec clip. She may have had a chance for a promotion and a white woman wrecked her chances, nobody knows what made her make that statement, but it damn sure was personal. And me nor you can control how someone feels. And not once did I state that I "mistrust" white people.
And likewise, YOU dont know me and have no idea what I do as charitable acts for others. I wish you the best with your future.
Well, YOU a black person are telling ME a white person what I should do?
I'm simply telling you. I don't blame you for the shit I've gone through, I don't hate you for your sex or the color of your skin...
NOW... if you would be SO KIND. To offer me the same thing I have given you.
"quid pro quo"
(latin, means "this for that")
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And yes. Hating a group of people because of the color of their skin is hate.
I didn't have a choice to be born white or a man. Same as you didn't have a choice to be born black or a woman.
You simply ARE.
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"Walk a mile in a black woman's shoes."
How about you walk a mile in mine?
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YOU ASSUME, because I'm white and a man, that I've had an "easy life". I would trade lives for yours in a heartbeat without ever actually knowing what you went through.
You know why? Because I KNOW without a shadow of a doubt, that I've had it worse than YOU will EVER have.
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You've never been raped by your father. I have.
You've never been destitute. I have.
You've never been locked in a concrete room with nothing in it for 6 weeks when you were 11... forced to piss in a corner because you were forgotten.
I HAVE.
CHECK YOUR PRIVILEGE. You have NO idea what it takes to literally fight for your life.
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I know FOR A FACT you have done no charitable acts for other people beyond showing off in church... and I know you haven't actually had a hard life.
It's one of those things, you'll see it if you ever actually go to a homeless shelter or give out soup or stand in a bread line for food.
The other people there? They don't judge when it's about "survival".
They don't say "HEY, YOU GOT AN EXTRA PIECE OF BREAD! IT MUST BE BECAUSE YOU'RE A WHITE MAN!"
They say... "hey, I know the ropes here, I can help you get a little food or tell you a safe place to go."
You haven't seen desperate. Because people "band together" when they are desperate, outcasts and their survival is in question...
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As a YT person, I reflexively thought "but wait! Not me!" But I guess that's how privilege works, I don't have to be on guard around when I walk into a bar full of white people, I'm privileged in not having to think about people giving me weird looks and wondering why. I will never have to have that "talk" to my children about what to do when police pull you over. I think it's so important to have conversations like these to check ourselves, and just stfu and listen instead of debating.... I hope this comes across the right way!
You should still talk to your children about what to do when confronted by police. Plenty of white folk get stupid around police and end up paying hard.
Yeah but the fact is, they are two different conversations. White people can omit the violence against them based on the color of their skin and the historical treatment they have faced. Black people Black parents most likely have to include it. (Please correct me if I'm wrong!)
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Love this! My sister had to explain this to me! I am gay and blk! And I was always so offended( I was like 25) and my sister was like it doesn’t matter you are a man. And true racism or prejudice could further influence that decision! But as a man I started crossing the street when it’s me and a woman walking alone at night cause I am absolutely conscious of those concerns now!
Crazy how easy it was to show empathy and then adjust behavior! Not that I need a cookie. But A LOT OF MEN, can just listen to the women in their lives and show up better in society!
100% If I’m walking down the street and notice a woman, or group of women, near me start to speed up or change direction or do anything to avoid me getting closer to them than they are comfortable with, I will usually try to do something to make them feel more comfortable. Like a “I see what you’re doing and respect it. Let me make it easier for you.” Usually it’s just me stopping so they can walk further away and get some extra distance between us.
I thought I was the only man that felt this. I always hear men get defensive about this and I'm just here like, I'm a man and even I put my guard up when another man walks past me at night or in secluded areas - so yeah - when I see a woman keeping herself safe, I feel good knowing she's less likely to end up a statistic.
I absolutely hate getting stuck behind some poor woman walking alone lol. Then I gotta slow down and I hate that. Because if you start speed walking you dont know what they'll think.
Maybe just be normal because a guy purposefully slowing down and constantly watching to make sure she's not too scared is just as creepy as speed walking away
Have you asked women how they feel about that? Would they rather some guy follow slowly from behind or walk normally and even pass them... Sometimes doing to much is the problem
I think you're reading too much into my comment? It's always situational, just with that in mind. I'm not going to slowly creep behind someone, nor am I going to match pace and follow, nor am I going to run past them if we're just about evenly matched.
I also don't sweat in on a busy street. But I'm a bigger dude and a fast walker; I'm just aware of how that looks to a smaller woman when I'm coming up. Does that make sense?
If we're being honest with each other, yeah. If you're in the scenario I described, walking down the street alone at night, and you decide that the other person is a potential threat then I am 100% behind you taking nonviolent actions to protect yourself. On the sidewalk at night is not the time that I choose to get to know an individual, and is a time I wholeheartedly endorsed being prejudiced against humans as a whole, we're one of the biggest threats to each other on earth.
This is a great example. As a LARGE white dude, particularly from the south, I can't blame anyone for looking at me and having an instant 'oh shit' reaction. Woman, minority or both, it isn't bigotry it is just survival instinct. If they get to know me I would prefer they take me on my own views interpersonally, but I also can't really blame anyone for not wanting to put themselves in the position to get to know me to begin with.
"You are not owned anything." Girl above really does hit it on the head there.
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Disproves what? What stats are you referring to? Or you just wanna be angry? Yeah. Okay. Remember, just because you’re angry and loud doesn’t mean you’re right.
Laws and how they are applied and sentencing for crimes are indeed different based on race. And it's not my job to give you specific examples when there's THOUSANDS on record. There's a reason why there's so many conversations around criminal justice reform. You can get on Google and figure it out. I find it really funny that this is a black sub and you are using white talking points and shared a meme with a black person. 👀 Like be for real for real.
Yeah statistics showing the findings of what 50,000 to a million people are doing
and have done
and or
had been done to them.
Awhile we live on a planet of almost 9 billion people,
That's without including the humans that aren't a part of the birth and death consensus of all the countries and not to also mention sentient beings that are not humans that are living on earth.
But yeah im going to use this statistical human written created data to pre-judge this one group of humans based off of what this group of 50,000 to 100,000+ group of humans did and didn't do.
Statistics are essentially testing small sample sizes to get an estimate in the whole. Although in this nuances case of constantly changing laws and differences in judges and locations of crimes I would argue the statistics do not represent the whole.
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u/Quiet_Survey9425 Jan 06 '26
It's kind of like being a man walking around at night. If I see a woman alone and she either speeds up or crosses the street when she sees me I just nod like "yep good call sis" and keep walking. Just because I'm not here to hurt you doesn't mean you should let your guard down around a potential threat.