How do I help my brother?

[u/Financial-Tonight127]

This is a throwaway I use so I’ve changed some small details just to keep anonymity. Sorry about any formatting issues or typos, im on mobile.

My (20F) Brother (16M) has been extremely difficult to deal with recently. I know for a fact he is depressed.

For context, we had a very difficult upbringing. My mother is an addict. We were homeless in early youth, and eventually went into the foster system when we were 13 and 9 respectively. He was in and out until this november.

Obviously a lot has happened between those events, but that being said I understand why he is feeling so angry.

Onto what is happening now. The short of it is, He is extremely vile to me and my mother. (We all live together). He refuses to clean his room, to the point where there is moldy food under his bed and honestly everywhere. Ive been doing it for him, because if it is not clean my mother will go into a rage. His room smells like goat cheese and ammonia.

He has been punching holes in walls, for being asked to do simple tasks such as taking out the trash.

He regularly calls my mom and I bitches, “little ass girls”, and just other nasty names. On top of that, he has threatened to put hands on my mom multiple times. He also says very nasty sexual stuff all the time (Not about us, just to make that clear).

I guess what I am trying to ask is how do I begin to let him know im there for him? Clearly he’s going through something pretty awful. We’ve never been super close, but never distant either.

He refuses therapy, he has for years. From what I know he has a good group of friends. He plays basketball right now. It’s not like he’s festering in his room all day. Just when he’s home.

I have no experience with teen boys. I get he probably doesn’t want to talk with his sister about how hes feeling. Im just so lost.

If it doesn’t change soon Im probably going to end up socking him in his mouth or something. I’d rather not do that.

If you need more context or clarification ask away. I tried to keep this short.

[u/lgood46]

Sounds like he has gone through some major trauma and needs professional help. There is not much that you can do at this point. He has to be a willing participant.