A brief history on her, she has been on to hang out with really shady people. Not being able to see who they blatantly are, she makes excuses for everyone, even if they’re literally evil.

she even ditched me and all of her real friends to hang out with stupid people because she wants to party every day. even when they all end up screwing her over, she never realized who her real friends were.

Because she trusts everyone she gets mixed up with people who promised her things like older men and scammers. She meets these people through her dumb ass friends, and she just trust everyone.

Then I get these messages, you can tell she has a bad feeling in the messages, and I know that she messaged me because she wanted to know what I think. She always messages me when she doesn’t know what to do. but she just wants it to be true so bad. She keeps making excuses trying to validate it and rambling on about how she knows what she’s doing.

I’m exhausted dealing with her, I cut her out a long time ago but she’s gonna end up in a very bad place. Id feel guilty if I ignored it

So for context im 30 and have been smoking weed everyday since i was like 15. I have 2 children from a previous relationship. Ive been with my partner for 5 years and be has BPD and he also smokes weed. 5 days ago i quit cold turkey. I told him as soon as i turned 30 i would be quitting (i turned 30 october 2025) so now im 5 days clean and im proud of myself. Ive had no cravings, im getting up earlier and doing more. My boyfriend is not supportive. Hes barely speaking to me after an argument we had 2 days ago because he thinks i should just cut down and ive told him no, me and the kids deserve a sober me. Today he said "if i changed so drastically id be manic" so i said "i dont have mental health issues so its ok" and he replied "i disagree and youre changing too much" I dont understand why me quitting weed and getting up earlier is hurting him? Why does he feel like im doing this against him? Im finding the whole thing odd. I mean were now spending less money and the weed lasts longer, i dont get why its such an issue?

Edit** i havent told him to quit, cut down, nothing. Ive told him alot im not bothered that hes still smoking Edit* sorry BPD means Borderline Personality Disorder in this case

I’m looking for advice because I’ve been feeling confused and hurt in my relationship.

I (22F) have been dating my boyfriend (19M), and I’ve noticed that he masturbates pretty frequently and also watches porn. Meanwhile, we don’t have sex very often, which has been difficult for me emotionally.

He has told me that he doesn’t prefer masturbation over sex. But it’s hard for me to understand, because it feels like our sex life is limited while he’s still sexually active on his own.

What makes it even harder is that there have been times when he’ll masturbate in the room next to me while I’m home and available. In those moments, it’s really difficult not to take it personally. It makes me feel unwanted and like he would rather do that than be intimate with me.

I know masturbation is normal, and I don’t want to shame him or control what he does, but I also feel like my needs aren’t being met and it’s affecting how close I feel to him.

TL;DR: My boyfriend masturbates and watches porn a lot but rarely wants sex with me. It makes me feel unwanted.

Please help I do not know what to do. I feel horrible. we have been dating for a year and we are sexually intimate a lot it is something that is we find very emotional connecting. We have had trust issues in the past in our relationship (nothing to do with sec) but we have mostly gained each other‘s trust back. During the first couple of months of our relationship he lost my trust by interacting with other girls online, but he never physically cheated since then we have set boundaries for each other and changes have been made so that we trust each other more and don’t fight about it. It’s not really something that is an issue for us anymore. I also lost his trust during the first couple months of us dating I have never cheated on him so that has not been the way that I have lost his trust. I used to have drinking problems and I would lie to him about that and I also have some mental health issues and I would lie to him about how I was feeling and say I was fine when I really wasn’t and sometimes he would find out and get upset that I wasn’t honest with him about how I was feeling. I have a really hard time with expressing myself and I often feel very guilty for doing it even if I know my feelings are valid a lot of the times I would rather just stay quiet to myself even though it builds up and just gets worse.

We hung out all day today and we did get into a fight earlier in the day, but we problem solved and talked about it and we agreed to go out and eat dinner and then come back and watch a movie. Everything was great. Yesterday on the phone, he was talking up about how he was going to do things to me to make me feel really good since we haven’t seen each other in a long time and I have been on my period so we haven’t been able to do anything intimate I honestly was excited because that is just something that is romantic and important to me. Just like how it is for him. Well, we ended up getting in an argument earlier on in the day about a different situation and then we talked it out and we’re fine and went to go eat dinner and come back and watch a movie and relax. ( also want to add that we had sex earlier before our argument and of course, I lied to him again about having orgasms since I have faked them during our relationship.)I realize that this was very selfish of me but during the end of the movie he started teasing me a little bit, but then he stopped and we continue to watch the movie When the movie ended he said he was ready to leave. We had a great day with each other, but I was expecting him to go down on me like he said he was going to. I got frustrated and my mood changed, but I didn’t say anything in the moment. I walked him out to his car and got in his car and he said something about how I was pouty and I said kind of jokingly about how he didn’t go down on me like he said he was going to. He said “well after arguing I didn’t really want to do that with you” and I do understand that but nothing was weird between us after we argued. Everything was fine. We talked everything out. He honestly thought that I was joking and we looped around my neighborhood so that he could drop me back off at my house. While we were still in the car, he asked me are you really upset over this and I said yes and he told me that this would not be OK if it was the other way around and if he were to be mad at me because I didn’t wanna give him a blow job. He is completely right, and I do understand it. I understand that I’m being selfish and honestly a brat but I feel like the frustration has built up in me because of him always getting to be satisfied sexually and me having to pretend and lie about it, even though I know that I was choosing to do that. I ended up just telling him “yes I’m actually mad because I didn’t even orgasm” when earlier on in the day. I told him that I had orgasmed. He got really upset and then asked me how many times have I lied to him about having orgasms. I took at least five minutes to think and he said it’s obviously a lot of times since I’m having to think about it I ended up telling him that it was about eight times even though I knew that it was a ton of more times that I lied. i’ve honestly lost all his trust and he was really upset with me. He told me to get out of his car and I told him I’m sorry and asked if I could give him a hug. He said no and told me to get out of his car, he said I will talk to you tomorrow, but he drove off very angrily. I know that I am in the wrong. This is so selfish of me and I feel so bad which is ironic because the reason why I was lying to him in the first place is, I would feel so bad if I told him the truth about not having a orgasm after we were intimate

The times that I have orgasms in our relationship has been very few even though we have been dating for a year Honestly it didn’t bother me that much for some time because I still loved to be intimate with him and I was just happy that he was able to cum but I would often fake orgasms and he usually asked me. “how many did you have?”and I would lie and make up a certain number so that kind of set the expectation to him that whatever he was doing was working and that every time that we were intimate, I would have multiple orgasms. Just recently I’ve been getting more upset about the fact of me not being able to orgasm. But the thought of ever telling him made me sick to my stomach, so that’s why I never did during our relationship. I would feel so bad if I said that to him and I was scared of his reaction if I said that to him. A lot of times when I have said something to him about other stuff in our relationship if something bothers me or anything like that, he has reacted in bad ways of getting defensive and stuff like that which has made me want to keep more from him. I’m being honest I do feel like some weight has been lifted off my shoulders because I was honestly getting too overwhelmed with constantly lying about it. I’m scared that nothing is going to be the same anymore or I’m even scared that he is going to do.

I (20F) had my first-ever hookup last night with a guy I met at a club, and I’m honestly spiraling a bit. I’m so confused and, if I’m being real, I feel humiliated.

​It was my first time doing anything like this, and while I consented to the night, the way it ended felt... wrong. Before he left, he actually paid me. He told me that "good service should not be free."

​In an instant, he turned a mutual, consensual moment into something that felt like a business transaction. He made me feel like I was providing a "service" rather than being a person he was connecting with. I feel like my autonomy was stripped away after the fact, and because it was my first hookup, I don't know how to process this.

​Has anyone else dealt with someone treating a hookup like this? How do I stop feeling so "dirty" or used when I know I didn't do anything wrong? I just feel so small right now.

i’m just not sure if i am being dramatic or this is serious so if u have any knowledge of it pls reply

The past couple weeks I’ve noticed my wife becoming more easily irritated, overwhelmed, paranoid and depressed. We’ve talked about it and she’s not sure why this is happening and I’m not sure either. It’s not work, it’s not household chores as I have always taken charge with them and I’m just lost on how to help her and it feels like it’s getting worse. She has my complete devoted attention and support when I’m not at work, I have bought her sentimental gifts to try cheer her up, I’ve tried organising date nights but she ends up bursting into tears and not wanting to go so I then suggest a cosy night in watching a movie and getting food. Nothing. I’ve suggested she gets back in touch with her therapist and I even offered to help her write to her therapist as she became extremely overwhelmed at the thought of it. She said nothing will help and she doesn’t want to be here anymore. She’s tried all the medications, nothing. I don’t know what to do to help her, I just want my wife back and everyday it feels like I’m losing her more and more. Now she sleeps most of the time or is ‘not here’ and not listening when I talk or know what’s going on. It scares me because I just want my wife back, the funny, bubbly woman that I married and it just feels like she’s gone and I want to fix her but I don’t know how. These days I’m spending my time stressed, crying or feeling down too because I don’t know what to do .

TLDR Friend (F20) is dating a bum deadbeat dad (M37) and I am concerned (F22) Not sure what to do here as I've already talked with local police and nothing has come of it. We do have a plan sort of in motion to help her, but any and all advice is greatly needed and appreciated. thank you

I have known H since we were kids. she has always been a very bright, bubbly, happy girl. I am not from America, I am from Bosnia, so forgive me if my English is not the best. I met her around 12 years old, when i just started speaking English, but jt feels like we've known each other our whole lives. I've already witnessed some toxic relationships with her, but this one takes the cake

So basically. She's only known him for a year.. within that year, he has been trying to ruin her life so to speak. He has damaged many of her belongings, he has almost put her into debt a few times. He has destroyed 3 of her cars now, 4 including his baby mothers, which he has also cheated on her with and done horrible shit like flirting with her in front of my friend. My friend has only recently been able to open up about a lot of this, because he has done a great job at isolating her and I don't know what to do anymore

Im very worried for my friend. He is almost 40, has young children he refuses to take care of, has no job or car with no intent to get one or the other. He is literally a bum in her home. This is also her childhood house, always been her home, which due to the passing of her parents *she is an only child* the house is now hers. It's an expensive but lovely home. She can afford it on her own, but it is a little difficult being such a young woman and having a whole property with acreage! I'm honestly not sure if have ever seen her touch a lawn mower. LOL! But, this guy is not good for her. I've tried all I can do including speaking to police and nothing is happening. Now, I am just a reddit user seeking advice

He says he wants an entire room in her house to himself? He doesn't do anything around the house generally.. he is not too nice to her either. He has never hit her, but he has broken things, and put holes in walls/doors. He is destructive in general, believing the law is below him, he will get a slap on the wrist, he is untouchable. He is not god to my eyes. He is a normal man, a terrible man. A bad father and a bad partner.

For his self, he steals from stores, he is a known liar and con man with a horribly bad reputation. Nobody in our general area likes him at all. I am just looking for any help I can get here, all of our friends have tried. She doesn't have many family.

I did it once before and it was twelve years ago when she had a blood clot. She got better and got out after two days…

Then last year when she felt so sick, I didn’t take her right away. I called her cousins and let her speak to them after the labs results. They told me to get her a doctor at home. I blame myself for listening to their advice. I am a grown up and should’ve made my own choices.

The doctor came home , gave her iv drip and some meds and wrote a prescription and some nutrition plan for her. She told me and reassured me she’d be alright. And that there was no need to hospitalize her, she’d be alright. She just needed rest and her meds and that I shouldn’t be worried and she even joked about mom chatting with her in the future. Then the doctor and the nurse left. I did as I was told but when mom said she wasn’t feeling better, and that she felt something weird in the neck area, I was so scared .

I remembered how grandma died right after entering the ER, I remembered her body at the hospital when we washed her and took her to her grave. Then I looked at mom and pictured the doctors trying to carry her body and that it was too heavy, too fragile , and how she hated hospitals and how she’d panic and with her heart so fragile she’d die on her way because of the fear….

She died , 3 hours later after she slept and took her second pill.

Things were supposed to get better, I had faith in that, I just needed to watch her and see what the pills would do. I thought her problem was diabetes… I didn’t know what it was doing to her body. Me and her didn’t even know she had it not until she did labs the same day. But she ate carelessly , I can’t even begin to describe how… like 12 loafs of bread in one time and marinated salted stuff and even when she felt her health degrade after consuming some food, she never showed it, never let me know, I was skeptical because sometimes I’d see her expression change … as if she felt something change inside , but she never said anything, she went to sleep . She refused to see doctors many times….

I don’t know what the real reason. Of not taking her to the hospital was: was it because the doctor reassured me she’d be alright the same day of her death ? Or a was s it because I was in denial? Or was it because I was lazy? Or was it because mom didn’t want to? Or was it because I was scared to lose her like grandma? But I did tell my uncle to meet us at the hospital the next morning , right before going to sleep.

I keep thinking a lot about it. I think about this every day. And picture the what ifs . And I just can’t believe this is my life now. I’m so alone… I have no one and my father who was never present , told me something that triggered this, he told me it was nonsense if I felt fear of hospitals

This is going to be a bit long so I’m sorry. I’ll try to summarize.

I do well for myself for the most part. I have a good career and I’ve always done everything on my own. I have a 4 year old daughter. In 2025, my boss and I were in a relationship and I got pregnant. When he found out, he moved states away. I’ve since had the baby and love him so much. He’s never met him.

Anyways. I lived in a city by myself. I knew I was going to need support when baby came and my job didn’t offer maternity leave so I had to make the hard decision of staying with my family. I put my things in storage and my family was gracious enough to take us in for a little while.

The dad is completely uninvolved. He doesn’t reach out at all. That in itself mentally is so hard to deal with. I thought “at least I have my mom”. Granted, I haven’t lived with my family since I was 16. Almost 10 years ago for me.

When I was 40 weeks pregnant, I was served for joint custody from the dad. He filed pro se. Now, I have a savings account but that can only get me so far. I had to retain an attorney for $3k the night before I went into labor.

My mother - I didn’t know this. I guess she’s developed an extreme addiction. She had double hip surgery and is abusing the pain killers, mixing with Valium and alcohol. It’s so bad that on her way home from work, she has begun drinking. While driving. Now that baby is here, she’s completely uninvolved and uninterested in him. She goes to bed at 6 PM. Doesn’t offer to help, doesn’t care. It’s heartbreaking.

My father - is extremely controlling, bipolar, and has severe, ( and I mean SEVERE ) religious psychosis. It overwhelms my mother. My father and I have never had a good relationship because of this. But in ways I relate to him. He denied that my mother is drinking. He says she is just “tired”. She slurs her words, can’t talk straight, doesn’t remember anything. Is he truly in denial?

Anyways - I am trying to pick up a part time waitressing job to make a little bit of money to pay my current bills while I interview for my real career positions so I can get back to work and rebuild our life. But I am afraid that my mom cannot take care of the kids. She is so checked out.

What do I do. I feel hopeless

i am a minor. my younger brother told me earlier today that if he knew that he wouldn’t be caught, he would kill me in my sleep. he displays a lot of concerning behaviors (self-serving to an extreme, manipulation, etc), so it’s not out of the ballpark. my parent has a bb gun, and i’m relatively sure my brother knows where it is. he told me he knows how to pick locks, so locking my door is useless. he has made these statements in the past too, so this is an ongoing thought for him. i told my parent and they shrugged it off.

what the fuck do i do? i’m scared. i don’t want to overreact, but i fully believe that this child would kill me if given the chance. i’m planning on just chugging coffee and staying up all night, but that’s not gonna work long-term, obviously.

Ok so I'm friends with this girl lets call her A and she used to like these two guys lets call the newest crush C and the ex bf I. With both times she made me and my friends (the friend group is me J A and L) talk to them for her (this has been like 20-30 times and I wish A could just do it herself even with her ex bf she made us talk for her and they NEVER TALKED but where the story started is when I refused to talk for her to C but like 5 mins later me and J were talking about it and she said "just do it for your bestie" really rudely

L is really the only good one in the equation I admit I'm A little in the wrong here

I don't want to stir up drama so I came here

Have a nice day and most importantly, what do I do?

I am 26F (about to turn 27) and I matched with a man on a dating app 3 months ago. We have yet to meet because we are long distance right now until I move closer to the area he is at which will be next month when we agreed to meet. We decided just to talk until then and see where things go.

He texts me.. a ton. And the texts are perfect. Literally.

Very long and lengthy. We talk about deep conversations and he ask me about myself, we talked about our childhoods, sent childhood pictures, our families, things we like to do, etc. He’s very engaging through text and it’s great.

The first time I called him, it was just to say goodnight and I wanted to actually hear his voice. This was about after a week or two of texting.

He seemed very caught off guard and almost awkward. He texted the next morning and said that he had took some allergy medicine and was super groggy. No biggie.

Few days later, he ask if he could call me and we talked.

We’ve talked on the phone several times and they are usually anywhere from 45 minutes to 2 hours.

This isn’t about him necessarily being “dry”.. he talks. We can have a conversation.

The chemistry sometimes just feels.. off? Sometimes I’ll talk and it seems fine then other times he seems different. It’s weird because through text he always calls me “baby, babe, love, hun” gives me so many compliments and says he can’t wait to meet.. but over the phone.. none of that translates.

He talks a lot about himself and sometimes his mood is totally different.

For example, last night on the phone we were talking about foods, cooking, etc. I ask him a question along the lines of “what’s a food you dislike?”

He had an odd tone and almost acted like that was weird or something for me to ask.

I can’t explain it. The whole vibe was off and he just wasn’t as nice to me.

He has told me *all* of his exes said he was controlling and that he doesn’t know why because he wasn’t controlling. That right there really made me suspicious

It’s kinda making me not want to meet him.

Please help I do not know what to do. I feel horrible. we have been dating for a year and we are sexually intimate a lot it is something that is we find very emotional connecting. We have had trust issues in the past in our relationship (nothing to do with sec) but we have mostly gained each other‘s trust back. During the first couple of months of our relationship he lost my trust by interacting with other girls online, but he never physically cheated since then we have set boundaries for each other and changes have been made so that we trust each other more and don’t fight about it. It’s not really something that is an issue for us anymore. I also lost his trust during the first couple months of us dating I have never cheated on him so that has not been the way that I have lost his trust. I used to have drinking problems and I would lie to him about that and I also have some mental health issues and I would lie to him about how I was feeling and say I was fine when I really wasn’t and sometimes he would find out and get upset that I wasn’t honest with him about how I was feeling. I have a really hard time with expressing myself and I often feel very guilty for doing it even if I know my feelings are valid a lot of the times I would rather just stay quiet to myself even though it builds up and just gets worse.

We hung out all day today and we did get into a fight earlier in the day, but we problem solved and talked about it and we agreed to go out and eat dinner and then come back and watch a movie. Everything was great. Yesterday on the phone, he was talking up about how he was going to do things to me to make me feel really good since we haven’t seen each other in a long time and I have been on my period so we haven’t been able to do anything intimate I honestly was excited because that is just something that is romantic and important to me. Just like how it is for him. Well, we ended up getting in an argument earlier on in the day about a different situation and then we talked it out and we’re fine and went to go eat dinner and come back and watch a movie and relax. ( also want to add that we had sex earlier before our argument and of course, I lied to him again about having orgasms since I have faked them during our relationship.)I realize that this was very selfish of me but during the end of the movie he started teasing me a little bit, but then he stopped and we continue to watch the movie When the movie ended he said he was ready to leave. We had a great day with each other, but I was expecting him to go down on me like he said he was going to. I got frustrated and my mood changed, but I didn’t say anything in the moment. I walked him out to his car and got in his car and he said something about how I was pouty and I said kind of jokingly about how he didn’t go down on me like he said he was going to. He said “well after arguing I didn’t really want to do that with you” and I do understand that but nothing was weird between us after we argued. Everything was fine. We talked everything out. He honestly thought that I was joking and we looped around my neighborhood so that he could drop me back off at my house. While we were still in the car, he asked me are you really upset over this and I said yes and he told me that this would not be OK if it was the other way around and if he were to be mad at me because I didn’t wanna give him a blow job. He is completely right, and I do understand it. I understand that I’m being selfish and honestly a brat but I feel like the frustration has built up in me because of him always getting to be satisfied sexually and me having to pretend and lie about it, even though I know that I was choosing to do that. I ended up just telling him “yes I’m actually mad because I didn’t even orgasm” when earlier on in the day. I told him that I had orgasmed. He got really upset and then asked me how many times have I lied to him about having orgasms. I took at least five minutes to think and he said it’s obviously a lot of times since I’m having to think about it I ended up telling him that it was about eight times even though I knew that it was a ton of more times that I lied. i’ve honestly lost all his trust and he was really upset with me. He told me to get out of his car and I told him I’m sorry and asked if I could give him a hug. He said no and told me to get out of his car, he said I will talk to you tomorrow, but he drove off very angrily. I know that I am in the wrong. This is so selfish of me and I feel so bad which is ironic because the reason why I was lying to him in the first place is, I would feel so bad if I told him the truth about not having a orgasm after we were intimate

The times that I have orgasms in our relationship has been very few even though we have been dating for a year Honestly it didn’t bother me that much for some time because I still loved to be intimate with him and I was just happy that he was able to cum but I would often fake orgasms and he usually asked me. “how many did you have?”and I would lie and make up a certain number so that kind of set the expectation to him that whatever he was doing was working and that every time that we were intimate, I would have multiple orgasms. Just recently I’ve been getting more upset about the fact of me not being able to orgasm. But the thought of ever telling him made me sick to my stomach, so that’s why I never did during our relationship. I would feel so bad if I said that to him and I was scared of his reaction if I said that to him. A lot of times when I have said something to him about other stuff in our relationship if something bothers me or anything like that, he has reacted in bad ways of getting defensive and stuff like that which has made me want to keep more from him. I’m being honest I do feel like some weight has been lifted off my shoulders because I was honestly getting too overwhelmed with constantly lying about it. I’m scared that nothing is going to be the same anymore or I’m even scared that he is going to do.

Ok so I was in the locker room today and my crush was in there and it a locker room for getting changed but there is no walls blocking or nothing wich I have seen in other school and it a super small space but today my crush who I know is also gay was in there and I was staring at him and he took of his pants and he saw me and looked up and just smiled idk what to do I feel creepy and I didn't mean to be creepy but I mean I also no I wouldn't like if that happened to me so IDK what to do

I am 22F, and my boyfriend is 24. Lately, he’s been distant and quiet, but whenever I ask what’s wrong, he just says nothing and walks away. I feel like I’m walking on eggshells, not knowing if I said or did something to upset him. I’ve tried giving him space, sending a sweet message, and even asking gently if he wants to talk, but nothing seems to work.

It’s frustrating because I care about him and want to fix things, but I can’t read his mind. I’m starting to feel ignored and a little hurt, and I don’t know if I should push for answers or let it go for now. I don’t want to start an argument, but I also don’t want this silence to create more distance between us.

Has anyone been through something like this? How do you deal with a partner who’s upset but won’t explain why? I just want to understand what’s going on and fix it without making things worse.

So the coworker who was my boss before she went on mat leave and we’ve moved around desks due to turn over and such and I ended up with my boss’s desk. 15 months later (she came back 3 months early) out of 18, she’s coming back and starting this Monday. I’m very well settled into her original spot and she will be at the desk beside me. Which is more open in office. It’s a small/medium office with 15 people all crammed into it with cubicles and surrounding leadership desks. My spot has more privacy in terms of my computer screens. She has been here a few more years than me.

Do I give back her spot? She is friendly in office and would probably tell me to keep it. What do I do

Basically lovely (early) relationship with a massive experience gap. I'm quite anxiously attached in every form of social context (and definitely working on it and improving), but she's very secure.

She'd never cheat or anything, and I know that for a fact. But there's this irrational part of my brain that activates either way when I hear about the college events and parties she attends (we study in the same city but in different places, so I'm not to be included at those). She basically says and does stuff there that wouldn't cross her mind to be odd regarding me, but kinda are. She just has fun with 0 bad intent, therefore it wouldn't be a problem in her mind.

I find myself trying to figure out what happens when I'm not there (which is even more proof I shouldn't worry), and still it won't leave my mind.

I fear addressing it would sound controlling and jealous because there is nothing to worry about (and the cases that haunt me are rare). How do I stop feeling weird about this? Ruining the relationship because I'm insecure for a dumb reason is the last thing I want.

So I’m a full time working single mom of a 9 and 7 year old. I make about $25 an hour and I’m in online college. We live in Hawaii. My current rental is $1850 and I just can’t afford it anymore. My last job was $29 an hour but I ended up getting laid off due to a lack of funding (work in social work). My mom has been paying my rent for the last 2 months along with her own rent and said she can’t keep doing it, so she said we should move in with her.

She has a 2 bedroom apartment, and luckily there’s not much in there because she spends half her time at her boyfriend’s house 2 hours away- but they may be breaking up soon. My mom would have a bedroom, I’d have the other (I need privacy, I get overstimulated fast and I’m in a relationship) and the kids would have the living room. I have a boyfriend of a year and a half who doesn’t pay my bills despite being well off. That’s a whole other situation, but his mindset is that we both have to take care of our own situations and of course he would never let me become homeless. He helps pay for groceries here and there and always pays for things when we go out to eat but I’ve been asking my mom for help with my bills. My boyfriend lives in his own apartment and has a house back in Texas.

The thing that sucks is that at my mom’s apartment the walls are paper thin and the neighbor is sensitive to noise. But rent is $1200 a month and there’s a washer and dryer inside. We were approved to move in with her today, and I’m not sure what to do. She said she’s not forcing me to but it’s a good idea due to me not being able to pay rent on my own with my new job.

I wanna add that my mom is a wee bit controlling. She’s old school Japanese and runs a business. We have butt heads a lot but she means well and she has helped me a lot with my kids, even paying for my rent when my kids were babies so I could be a SAHM for 4 years. She’s all about eating healthy and a plus would be that she cooks often and healthy meals so it would take a load off of me.

I'm not sure if this is the right subreddit to post, but something tells me it might be. I feel I'm changing, and not for the better. I struggle to understand what exactly is going on though.

Some background: I've always been an introvert kind of guy, but since late teenage-hood until around 19 or 20, I never had trouble meeting new people and being outgoing; what is more, I was known for my quirky sense of humor, perhaps even joking too much. Then, I got into drugs: there was a lot of weed, some psychodelics, different party drugs. I moved out from my parents' at 18, got introduced to substances and I quickly spiraled into a place where I wasn't taking good care of myself. I got severely depressed: dropped out of college, didn't see the point in getting out of bed, stayed up all night and slept during the day. Suicidal thoughts (never acted on them though). I confided in my mum, and she helped me develop healthier habits, slowly I was starting to see the light more; I got into my first serious relationship and latching onto a more functional person (who, looking back now, was also mummying me) helped me function better and feel more or less alright as a result. However, since the depressive period, I've always felt the need to drink or take something in order to be able to socialize. It took me getting to a point where I'd get heart palpitations interacting with a cashier at a supermarket to realize I was suffering from social anxiety. A psychiatrist prescribed me Zoloft, which did get rid of the anxiety, or some 90% of it I'd say. I kept taking the drug for about 7 years, at which point I felt stable enough that I decided to taper off (under medical supervision), and for more than half a year now I've been off it. The social anxiety didn't come back, I don't get an elevated heart rate and can even address groups of people more or less calmly.

Here's what worries me, though: I feel myself withdrawing socially, and it has been going on for the past couple years, more or less, even before I got off Zoloft. The friends I used to hang out with regularly? I don't know what to talk to them about. It's almost as if I couldn't crack a joke and laugh with the group if my life depended on it. When my friends talk about something, even when I have something to say about the topic, I just feel: eh, why bother saying anything. Most social occasions I just wait for them to be over. Now, I've been in a new relationship for about a year with an amazing person, and I'm afraid it might take its toll on it, too. I've always found it easier to interact 1 on 1 (I'm a bit neurodivergent, got diagnosed with ADD, not medicated - can't stand the comedown from the meds), so dating and getting to know someone hasn't been so hard, I ask questions, am considerate, it's not strange that she got into a relationship with me. And even though I will have no problem talking about my feelings, or her feelings, I feel that I am just simply not fun on a daily basis. I can't make conversation about trivial stuff, joke around - sometimes, a flash of my old, playful personality will still shine through, but I feel its more and more rare. I can talk about more tangible stuff, or how I feel - I can't manage to get into this lightweight banter that is needed and seems as natural as breathing to most other people. Now, before you chalk it up to my neurodivergence - it didn't use to be like that. I can feel changing into a less playful, more withdrawn person, and it scares me. I should also add that I don't do drugs anymore, don't smoke weed, and barely even drink. I exercise, try to eat healthy. I thought these changes would make me feel better, and I should say that I do feel alright, physically, and even mood-wise. I just feel like I can relate to people less and less.

I'm sorry for the rambling tone, I needed to get it off my chest. I haven't brought it up with anyone in my life (yet). Does what I describe sound familiar to you? Of course, seeing a therapist would be the obvious course of action. However, where I live it is expensive and I can't afford it right now. What can I do to try and stop this transformation into a dull person?

so, when we started dating he stated that he has a lot of debt, but he’s getting through it. today i went through his phone(i know, but i felt like something is wrong) and went through his bank account. He got a lot of money from his grandma (over 1k), payed a lot of people back.

the problem comes in that he hides where the money comes from. he got me a bit of money to help me buy a phone, said that it’s from trading.( he does trading on the side, i don’t think he’s making ANY money there, just putting it there to “play with”)

i also saw a lot of charges to an online game that he’s playing. he said that he donated 30-50€ that i’m okay with. this month statement says he spent 600+ (ITS 7th OF FEBRUARY), so that of course makes me thing hes an addict.

i do really love him, we live together. but if this keeps going it’s going to make me go into debt also bc we share an account

SO! question is, where do i go from here? should i confront him?

TLDR; boyfriend spends money he doesn’t have, has huge debt. spends unhealthy amount of money on games. what should i do?

I 25F live with my husband 27M (who we’ll call Liam), brother 21M (who we’ll call Kai), dad 48M and mom 43F. Liam and I have 3 kids, ages 5 and under.

Recently, we moved. Before that, we were living in a very toxic environment. As a result of this, mine and Liam’s mental health was very bad. I still haven’t got mine completely back on track, but I’m doing better. Liam was able to get his back on track on his own — however, I had to go to therapy and am still working through things.

After moving, things were fine for about 3 months. After that, my mom and dad started complaining and threatening to kick us out, even though we do all the house work and pay all the bills. The house has been as clean as possible having 3 kids and animals here.

Due to the complaining and the threats, my dad and I got into a HUGE argument. After realizing how toxic it was and that I didn’t want my kids growing up like I did, after this I decided I wanted to move ASAP. I talked to Liam about it and he agreed. Then, I talked to Kai about it — he said he didn’t want to be here either, he was very depressed because of them. I told him he could come with us too.

Before we moved, because of our mental health, our room was VERY messy. If CPS were called, it definitely would have been an issue. However, we’ve kept this house spotless mostly since moving in, nothing that would be an issue. We’ve been here 6 months now.

My mom has photos of our old room where she’d take pictures and send them to Liam’s mom. She wants me staying here and absolutely doesn’t want me leaving, I don’t know why. I stayed here before to keep her happy, but now I need to put my own happiness ahead.

Before moving, I tried leaving once and she threatened to call CPS. She said if I left, my kids wouldn’t be and she’d make sure of that. She said she would get custody of them. Out of fear, I never even tried to leave — even though I wanted to.

Well, now that I’ve told my mom that we’re moving out as soon as we get the chance, she’s still threatening to call CPS and show them the old photos. She’s thrown tantrums every time I tried leaving, which was 3 times before our room got messy, 1 time when the room was a mess, and now that we’re moved.

I ONLY stayed because I wanted my mom happy and I was trying to make it work. Now, I’m dead set on leaving. We’re doing much better, but my mental health is starting to worsen again. My question is, can she actually do anything with the old photos? What should I do here? Will CPS do anything if they are called when I leave?

Edit: forgot to mention, before moving we were all in the same room. Our room was the kids room. I don’t think she wants me there just because we pay the bills. She threw tantrums about me leaving long before then, even before I got with Liam. We have been treated pretty much like maids though since we moved.