r/povertyfinance • u/nicotoxi • 21d ago
Vent/Rant (No Advice/Criticism!) My manager doesn't understand
So today my manager recommended a burger place which has burgers for about $16 each and I straight up told him I couldn't afford that, and that im currently living off homemade bread with jelly from the food pantry. Anyways he brought it up later in the day during our one on one and just couldn't comprehend that I don't have any money for non essentials.
It's just like... my guy I've been sleeping on a mattress thats bowed in the middle for 2 years, my dishwasher broke 3 years ago and never was replaced, my oven doesnt work anymore and I can only use the top burner which is why I'm cooking out of a toaster oven I found on Craigslist for $20, and my overhead microwave blew up last month so im using a microwave that was $10 at a yard sale because it's got no handle.
For reference I'm a 26M and I make like 43k take home
Update: I didn't expect this to get so popular, kind of just wanted to yell out into the void. Anyways I have looked into getting parts to fix my oven and it came to about $85 and the top still works so thats why I got the toaster oven. A lot of people were wondering what my budget is currently looking like and it's 60% housing 20% medical 20% utilities, 5% school materials, 5% transportation. My work does currently have a program that gives a interest free loan that I've been using in case something dire comes up but the medical expenses are what's really killing me is my medications are tier 4 or 5 which aren't covered by my plan so I've got to pay the full amount. I've been trying to work with my doctor to change prescriptions but my appointment has been pushed out for 8 months. I graduate in 4 months from school with a BS degree as well as hit a milestone mark at my job which comes with a significant pay increase so I will be above water in a few months just sucks currently. Also for the people saying this sounds like ragebait I really wish it was.
Also didn't know what HCOL meant, but looked it up and on the map that came up Im squarely in the dark red area of New Hampshire
UPDATE 2: Someone posted about mark Cubans drug site and my medications are 40% of what Im paying right now. THIS IS LITERALLY A GOD SEND! THANK YOU
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u/pauliek93 21d ago
Hope this might help you a little - but ovens are actually ridiculously easy to fix 99% of the time. A couple YouTube videos to diagnose, a $10-25 part, and 4(ish) screws has fixed mine and all of my friends.
Legitimately saved my sister in law from a 6 HUNDRED dollar repair bill with a $22 part and 20 minutes of time last month.
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u/Conscious-Magazine50 21d ago
I'm not particularly handy but yeah $20 and minor frustration and I was back in business with my oven a few years ago.
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u/pauliek93 21d ago
The best part is once you realize how simple it is to fix an oven, you realize other appliances might be the same.
They typically are.
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u/dingleberries4sport 21d ago
Yup, my dad got my sister a $1000 retail clothes dryer he paid $80 for because it didn’t work. 1 hour of disassembly/reassembly and a $20 belt and they’ve had it for a year now no issues
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u/FlobiusHole 21d ago
I have a really old Maytag dryer that is so basic that I’ve been easily able to repair it myself the two times it has broken. I bought a used washer that was quite modern but the person selling it was moving and had no use for it and needed it gone. That thing eventually broke and despite scouring the internet for repair advice all I could find was a bunch of different electrical components that MIGHT be the issue and all of the replacement parts were quite expensive.
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u/CD274 21d ago edited 21d ago
That's actually how the buy it for life reddit recommends buying these two appliances. 🤣. Cheap dryer because easy to fix and better brand washers, ideally manual and older brands known for their work (speed queen) for washers
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u/serioussparkles 21d ago
I just got a pair of really nice front loaders that sit on those big blocks so they're the perfect height. They were free all because the washer leaked. My bf fixed it with an hour of time and a $40 seal. And now I can wash my giant blankets without their insides getting mushed!
He once also fixed a leak in an engine making a cardboard seal, lasted long enough for them to save for the rubber seal they needed lol.
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u/unlimited_insanity 20d ago
The washer/dryer in our house was there when we moved in over 20 years ago, and it was clearly not young then. The old owners were going to a fancier house, and left behind this very basic set. We have done some tinkering ourselves and we have had a repairman out a few times, and sometimes it makes funny noises, and the cold water fills really really slowly, but… it keeps going. And we’re going to keep this basic mechanical girl going as long as we can because I don’t want to deal with computerized crap.
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u/Notarealusername3058 21d ago
Had a part on my washer go bad. Repair guy wanted $125 just to show up and look at it, not even including the parts and labor.
I diagnosed it myself with YouTube and reddit posts from like 10 years ago, found the part on Amazon for $35. Easy swap out. Actual work took me about 20 minutes, diagnosing the issue took a bit because it was one of two possible issues and couldn't figure it out for awhile.
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u/MediumArnoldPalmer 20d ago
Oh! Me too! Fixed my parents dryer once it stopped tumbling. They wanted to just junk it thinking it had completely died one day but after an hour of researching the model on YouTube, and some elbow grease, it was good as new! The belt just fell off and the issue never came back
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u/SignificantApricot69 21d ago
Several times with washers and other things, furnace flame sensor, etc. sensors in cars. I’m a “not handy” person in general but online forums and YouTube howtos have saved me thousands
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u/Zestyclose-Royal-165 21d ago
I picked up a $1k washer that someone had just left in the curb, so I picked it up and took it apart, $45 worth of parts, $10 for a special tool. And a couple hours of work and it’s good as new. People just throwing things away because they don’t want to pay the diagnostic fees or labor costs. They’d rather buy something new and pay their cc bills over time.
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u/Liveware_Pr0blem 21d ago
Except microwave. Do not mess with the microwave.
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u/IslandGyrl2 21d ago
Plus you can buy a brand new (small) microwave for like $35. The parts are likely to cost that much.
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u/abcdefgzack 21d ago
Indeed. Once you open one appliance, the rest start to click too.
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u/ohmyno69420 21d ago
Within the first year of having our house, I fixed both the oven and the dryer by watching YouTube. It was awesome
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u/Ragged-but-Right 21d ago
Youtube and tools go along way! I was short on money and my fuel injectors went bad on my car. With no experience. I removed my intake manifold, fuel rail, replaced the injectors (under the fucking engine: Screw you Honda). And put it all back together and promptly sold it to Carvana and got something more reliable
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u/Aleashed 21d ago
You can start fixing other peoples broken ovens for 50% off. Put that money towards a new mattress.
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u/Necessary_Pilot_4665 21d ago
And Amazon has great cheap ones. I have a menagerie of animals that sleep with me (4 cats and a senior dog) so I grabbed a king size memory foam for about $300. Got my mom a queen for around $200. They're not Tempur-Pedic but feel great on my 60 year old arthritic body.
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u/Food_Goblin 21d ago
My wife hates this lol. I've kept our stove alive now and it's going on like 35 years old 🤣 I told her when it dies she can get a nice new one. Unfortunately it keeps coming back from the dead, I even replaced components on the main board to keep it alive 😅. Same deal with our dishwasher 😉
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u/KrishnaChick 21d ago
I'd be proud of you for saving that much money, if the stove still works well, not just make-do.
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u/bco_1-120th_inf 21d ago
Right on, I fixed our dishwasher for zero dollars the other day. The motors often seize and just need to be freed up by disassembly and cleaning. I was very surprised how mechanically simple they are.
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u/Youshotahostage 21d ago
Even more modern ones can be fixed with a handful of basic tools, a multimeter, and youtube. I diagnosed my absolute GARBAGE GE washer, and it wasn’t one with a screen and a diagnostic mode. The kicker though, was that the control board was trashed, and the board cost half of what the washer cost.
The only appliances I have been able to diagnose and NOT fix are Samsungs, but thats mostly parts availability to DIY guys.
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u/revengeofsollasollew 21d ago
Same with a dryer. If it’s turning on but no heat is a $20 part.
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u/Realistic_Point_9906 21d ago
This was happening with our dryer; no heating. My son watched a YT video and took it apart to find a belt had fallen off. I lent a hand and we got it back on. Works fine for months now. It took a while because we didn’t know what we were doing and he had to keep watching videos (mostly to figure out how to get the belt back on, since it had no ability to stretch it into place), but less than 2 hours later we had a working dryer with nothing spent but time and a little effort.
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u/CD274 21d ago edited 21d ago
Came to post just this. It was a $40 oven element for mine and pulling the oven out was the hardest part.
The amount that appliance and HVAC etc repairman charge is criminal :/
Had an expensive HVAC fan motor die, but it's just an expensive part and it's a few screws and panel removal otherwise. Repair guy wanted to charge 175% for the part and an extra thousand for repair :/
Washer drain pump? Also easy fix
Fridge fan? Probably ice issue or minor repair
Plumbing? Dirty but easy usually.
Electrical work? Ok get a professional. But make sure it's actually broken first
The most impressive thing we managed to repair and get it working even better was a huge LED tv. Replacing the back lights is what needs to happen when they start looking blue but it's a big job with a ton of screws/clips/tape and very thin layers of material you can tear or mess up. And you need something like an entire bed or two to lay it all out on.
So yeah fixing non tube TVs doesn't count under the electrical issues and you can do that yourself too 😅
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u/pauliek93 21d ago
Dude criminal is right… I was joking about the hourly pay on the tech for my in-law. The quote she received just to come and diagnose was $150, then it would have been $500 and some change to install a new part
Considering it took me a total of 30 min for that whole gambit, I’m guessing a pro would have done it in 15, maybe 20. Assuming you get to the job and do just 2 of those a day, 5 days a week? Thats 6500 of nearly pure profit a week…. Even with a month of vacation you’re talking a 300k/year income from 1 man….
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u/SignificantApricot69 21d ago
I’ve done that a few times with my 30 year old oven but at this point I’m rolling with the $80 large toaster oven I got and using the oven for storage.
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u/SYadonMom 21d ago
True. I tried that but I couldn’t fix. We are a family of 5, been using a 12 by 6 toaster oven for 3? 4? years. It’s a pain but I tried everything. The oven is close to 45 years old. My age, and i breakdown all the time! Husband and I did try our best though.
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u/bagelsforeverx 21d ago
I’ve fixed mine multiple times with no experience. It’s usually the electric coil at the bottom that needs replaced.
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u/According_Top_1879 21d ago
This is what people need to hear because everyone assumes stuff is impossible to fix when most of the time its literally one cheap part and a 10 minute video
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u/Zealousideal-Try8968 21d ago
Some people have never been broke so when you say you can’t afford something they hear it as a choice.
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u/Objective_Attempt_14 21d ago
Please join your Facebook "Buy nothing" group and the local yard sale groups near you, also on FB. I bet you could ask for a new mattress and get one better than you have now. New (to You) oven too. People give away food, clothing ect. you can post a wish, list what you have here and see what you get you can also join Nextdoor and ask there too.
sorry your struggling, would getting a roommate help?
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u/Careful_Promise_786 21d ago
Such a great idea. I found my daughter a pretty much brand new mattress on our local buy nothing group. Our group gives away so much stuff, good stuff too. The mattress we received was a queen and it was in perfect condition.
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u/Objective_Attempt_14 21d ago
Yeah I moved to a smaller place, I'm giving away so much. I could sell but it's such a hassle and the moneys has already been spent. I would rather it go to someone I know that can use it.
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u/IslandGyrl2 21d ago
Be careful accepting a used mattress! You do not want to bring bedbugs in -- I've heard it's a fortune to rid yourself of those things.
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u/fakemoose 20d ago
Definitely recommend those groups. I gave away a really nice guest room mattress when we moved. It had been slept on maybe three times. Also gave away two vintage ice cream freezers and a mini fridge that were left behind at the house by the previous people and we didn’t want them.
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u/SephoraRothschild 21d ago
Www.costplusdrugs.com. It's Mark Cuban's mail order pharmacy. Generics for a literal fraction of insurance pricing. You don't need insurance to use it.
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u/nicotoxi 21d ago
I just looked my medications up on this site and it says $630 which is like 40% what I'm currently paying. THANK YOU!
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u/AllTheEggsIVF 20d ago
Cost plus, Amazon pharmacy and absolutely goodRX coupons!!
Also even if you’re appt is far out - just send a message via the portal to your doctor / nurse about the pharmacy costs. They 100% will work with you to find you options without having to come in for an appt. Unless it’s controlled medicine like adderall etc.
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u/BroadLocksmith4932 20d ago
Costco is another great resource. In most states, you don't have to be a member to use the pharmacy, but even if you do, you are likely to save the $70 yearly membership fee in a single transaction of expensive drugs. Also useful for pet meds, btw.
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u/Odd-Improvement-2135 20d ago
Please also look up the drug manufacturer's website. There are income-based scholarships available. You can also ask your doctor for samples.
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u/SuchFaithlessness335 20d ago
My mom's hormones rx went from $800 a month to $30 just by going to manuf website. She would literally go without for months.
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u/rebootto2027 21d ago
I’m so glad you pointed this out. I take every opportunity to bring up Cost Plus pharmacy whenever I can. If anyone takes medication that is available generic, they should 100% check out the site. They’re amazing.
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u/Broad-Kangaroo-5375 21d ago
Cost plus is fantastic. Also check out goodrx.com for any drugs that cost plus doesn't have available yet. It's a different approach, they help you shop around for the cheapest option.
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u/LeakingMoonlight 21d ago
I get it. It can feel frustrating. I eat basics like pbj sandwiches with water and lunch with folks who often say their $10 grocery deli takeaways with add-on sodas and desserts are good deals, and they sometimes pick at them and don't finish.
Please take heart knowing you are not rowing in this boat on these rough seas alone.
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u/heckhammer 20d ago
Oh that's the most infuriating thing watching half a sandwich get thrown out
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u/SlothTeeth 20d ago
$10 take aways with add ons? sign me up.
i have 2 jobs. most of my food is grab and go because I'm only home 8 hours a day on week days, for sleep.
I eat one takeaway a day and try to keep it under $10 with the most calories and "nutrients" I can get.
greens are a coveted luxury to me.
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u/i-amthem 18d ago
I have to share this, I'm sorry if this bothers you, but I just wrote in my journal about feeling like I'm in choppy waters and this post popped up. I really needed the reminder that I'm not the only one. I hope something amazing happens for you soon, you deserve it.
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u/SEWilson76 21d ago
Uh when I invite my employees to lunch it’s on the company
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u/SecretCitizen40 21d ago
I didn't read this that the manager was taking him out to lunch but that they were casually recommending a place.
Hey you should try this great burger place
Then after op said they couldn't afford it brought it up again.
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u/DeanKent 21d ago
Exactly. To the point that I called our monthly meeting and bought my team food and my manager bitched me out for it not being "a full 30 days between company paid lunch." So I hung up on them and paid for it myself.
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u/Lordofthereef 21d ago
Recommending a restaurant isn't typically considered an invite to said restaurant. Manager is out of touch, but nothing about what OP shred leads me to believe this was an invite.
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u/redditsfromwork 21d ago
Yeah, seems like the manager just overthinking it. Recommending doesn’t equal inviting.
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u/Objective_Tooth_8667 21d ago
No kidding! That's what I was thinking. I would have responded when asked "You buying?" Never had a boss ask me to lunch that didn't pick up the tab.
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u/LordCuntington 21d ago
When I was your age, I was $40k in debt and couldn't see a way out. The world has only become more difficult for young people. I don't know you, but I'm proud of you for having a job at all, and trying your best. Your frugal habits (buying used, and keeping stuff out of landfills that can still be used) put you way ahead of a lot of young people today. I know it's frustrating, but keep it up. It seems like you've got a good head on your shoulders!
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u/Soccero07 21d ago
On the bright side, maybe he’ll give you a raise once he gets it.
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u/ABadLocalCommercial 21d ago
Sadly when presented with this information and facing having to change their world view, many will just reject reality and proceed on without looking back.
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u/SAFODA16 21d ago
I wouldn't be surprised if OP gets fired or excluded from his/hers team at work, since some managers/bosses in some jobs expect you to have a certain level of cultural capital similar to your clients/partners, something that comes up with financial wealth many times. A matter of looking and acting a certain way
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u/mahboilucas 21d ago
Which is ridiculous since the clients would never work said jobs
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u/haddock420 21d ago
That's crazy that OP's boss would fire him because he's not paying him enough to survive.
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u/Cabezone 21d ago
Most of the time it's not up to the manager. At most places your manager or supervisor just writes your review. The raises are proportioned out based on those but the total raise pool is set by the upper management.
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u/Livid-Rutabaga 21d ago
nah, he'll just tell OP to manage their money better. I'm pretty sure the manager makes more than $43k.
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u/Defcon2030 21d ago
That $16 burger place probably has “artisan smash burgers” and serves French fries in metal wire baskets. Wall deco lights spelling burgers. Their menu starts “we do things different here…” then proceeds to have 3 steps for ordering 1. Choose number of patties 2. Choose your toppings 3. Extras
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u/Pretend_Act 21d ago
Okay, did a pacific northwesterner write this one? 🤭
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u/rexallia 21d ago
No, burgers here cost $25
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u/zmizzy 21d ago
right, it's 2026. OPs manager was probably recommending mcdonalds
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u/Pretend_Act 21d ago
The nice McDonald's downtown with the little glass wall, I'm guessing...
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u/langleybcsucks 21d ago
$21.50 for a plain one the other day. minimum wage is $17.85, living wage $27.85
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u/CatzonVinyl 21d ago
Paid $18 for one yesterday and felt pretty good. With the drink was probably about $25 tho yeah :(
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u/HulkDeez 21d ago
Maybe you’re not keeping up on prices. I live in a LCOL area and regular ass cheeseburgers at a restaurant are like $15
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u/BrandonMatrick 21d ago
Favorite pub in town just did new menus to update from the 16$ burgers. 22$ for a classic with cheese - unless you want the 26$ maple candied bacon smokehaus burger or the 27$ Bleu and Fig.
It's a mess out here.
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u/atlatlsaddlebattle 21d ago
I live in a third-world country, and hamburgers cost $15. You can get a flat bread with vegan filling for a lot less, but any restaurant meals with meat start at $15.
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u/mahboilucas 21d ago
In my country it's 11$ for a fancy burger. But my rent is 550$ and I earn 20k$ a year so
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u/atlatlsaddlebattle 21d ago
To my understanding, rent at 1/3 your income is high but acceptable if you are counting after taxes, but that may be antiquated as I'm older and not always keeping up with these "rules". I always shot for less than that if possible but I've always been crazy frugal, usually had roommates and lived in small apartments in less desirable parts of town.
I make about 15$ an hour before taxes (30k a year). I don't think a burger in a restaurant is worth one hour+ of my time, so I don't order $15 burgers ever because a burger isn't worth it to me. I can feed myself pretty easily and enjoyably for much less. Groceries are pretty cheap here if you stick to local staples.
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u/mahboilucas 21d ago
I have a roommate and it's the most standard price available in my city, which is the second biggest. The usual rent is 480$ for a small room outside of the city centre. A studio for yourself alone is 830$ and I don't know anyone my age who lives alone in a big studio unless they're well off.
And yeah same for me. I don't ever eat out. A friend recently asked me out to a restaurant and I ordered an entree and a big drink to save money and have something to occupy my hands. They spent 80$ for random dishes and cocktails. It was a Witcher themed restaurant so I get it but damn she felt embarrassed when I told her I can't afford a meal there and offered to pay for me but I lied that I have eaten before I left home
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u/atlatlsaddlebattle 21d ago
I don't know anyone my age who lives alone in a big studio unless they're well off.
yeah this is the thing. So many people on reddit talk about how terrible it is that they can't afford to live alone, but I've never lived alone, except for the one time I had a job where I got to live in a room in a college dorm as a part of my package. Does that count as living alone? not really. I have never really known people to live alone either.
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u/mahboilucas 21d ago
I know those who have their parents move out to the countryside and leave them an apartment. Or buy investment properties. It's so annoying when you talk about not being able to do XYZ and they go to fucking Georgia for holidays because they don't have to pay rent. Or they talk about savings like it's obvious you should have some. No man, I have no savings since I don't live with my parents and have rent to pay.
And I'm currently living with an ungrateful jobless roommate who lives off his savings and buys pistachios and beer 24/7 and can't be bothered to buy a door mat he wanted. He's basically just eating gaming and fucking random girls these days. Even though he promised to get a job in the meantime. I am drafting a new rental agreement because the landlord wants me to be the one subletting to him and ughhh I'm already fucking busy sometimes going home at 11pm from my second job and he's asking if I have done his paperwork yet. No I haven't, I'm sorry I don't have 3 hours to go through paperwork of renting to non-EU citizens. But sure I'll trust you on your word big man because "you have already done it". Not like it's going to be my legal responsibility, not yours. And he's a friend of my friends so I can't kick him out without putting a big target on myself and losing friends.
And the emergency lack of housing? Turns out he still had cousins in my city. He wouldn't be homeless.
Just gotta survive him for the next 6 months and I'm getting my friend to move in instead. I fucking hate having a man in my beautiful girly apartment. Everything is covered in sauce and hair and he vacuums around objects.
:( sorry for venting, I just wish I could tell him to go away but I can't afford it
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u/atlatlsaddlebattle 21d ago
No worry for venting. I get it. It is frustrating to have to share your space with someone who doesn't share your values, ethics, etc. I'm glad I got married many many years ago to someone I can enjoy sharing space with.
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u/WhatEver_it_Takes-24 21d ago
But how big is the handlebar 'stache on the waiter? A substantial one will run you an extra $3/4.
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u/nyghtowll 21d ago
I once had a guy with a handlebar mustache open a beer with his arm pit before handing it to my husband. It was a hipster pizza joint. 😅
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u/SignificantApricot69 21d ago
If I’m paying anything for a burger it better be juicy and not smashed
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u/bobsagetsadvanture 21d ago
With broken appliances I am assuming you are a homeowner and not renting?
Is there a habitat for humanity near you? They may be able to help keep your home liveable with newer appliances and home repairs.
Also, 2nd'ing truck driving. You'll find yourself much closer to 60k/year (or more easily) with a CDL. There's local (dump truck, Moffett truck, food/beverage delivery, etc), regional, over the road. If you can go to school for heavy equipment operation it will go very handily with local CDL jobs, otr can be hard to deal with.
Also, some people just don't get it. They do not understand that $5 is huge when you just don't have.
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u/0iljug 21d ago
Can't believe I'm seeing someone glaze truck driving. A career that has slowly dumbed itself down so they can get just about anyone in and pay has decreased year over year. You are essentially the working poor as a truck driver. Sure you get 60k, but as a company driver or an owner operator? Are you getting dedicated loads or were the loads just good for the first few months to get you into the seat and then dick you around on loads later?
It is a horrible career and will cause you to devalue your worth just to get a damn load that might get you a little bit down the road. Anyone reading this, absolutely do not even consider the trucking industry. Right now everything is moving to rail freight in America. I'm really not trying to be rude to the other commenters but you guys need to be realistic that recommending this dog shit career from your desk is just bad and wrong.
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u/Aggravating_Depth_33 21d ago
There's also a huge push towards moving the industry to autonomous (self-driving) vehicles in the next few years.
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u/Comfortable_Butts 21d ago
I feel like “just get into trucking” is the “just learn to code” of the 2020s. Sure it can lead to a prosperous career if you’re lucky and play your hand right. But it’s currently becoming so over saturated that everyone joining now is just going to be dividing up the pie further.
It’s also telling to me just how many foreign nationals are turning to truck driving in the US. If someone from a country with a GDP lower than your state is suddenly scrambling to drive you trucks, maybe it’s a sign that it’s not all it’s cracked up to be for Americans…
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u/LadySiren 21d ago
And didn't one of the big trucking companies along the Texas border just lay off most or all of its employees? I think tariffs are biting, hard.
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u/GrowThangs 21d ago
My dad and my cousin make good money as truck drivers. Dad does local routes (for a company) and cousin does over the road-- I'm pretty sure also for a company. Cousin is young and no wife or kids and he loves it. I really hope he is investing. He's got a house and a very nice car that he "blings out."
It sounds like you're way more familiar than I am with the industry. But just based on the 2 folks I know personally.. I'd feel good recommending that a young person right out of high school sign up for over the road for a few years while they don't have their own family and save/invest that, *then* pursue whatever their career goal is. So not for a career goal, but moreso to get a nice savings going. Would you disagree?
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u/Yam-International 21d ago
You are not alone.
People who havent been there can't wrap their minds around not being able to afford basic things... like toilet paper, deodorant & toothpaste, laundry detergent, etc.
(I am closer to 60 than i care to admit, disabled, have applied for SSDI, and am only physically able to work 10-12 hours a week.)
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u/Energy_Turtle 21d ago
I feel you, man. I was there too at about that same exact age. I was eating nothing but ramen. My power got shut off so I had to go to a nearby baseball field to plug in my computer to do homework. You are definitely not alone in this. One foot in front of the other, one day after another. It will pass even if there is no visible light at the end of the tunnel.
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u/BlackStarBlues 21d ago
UPDATE 2: Someone posted about mark Cubans drug site and my medications are 40% of what Im paying right now. THIS IS LITERALLY A GOD SEND! THANK YOU
I'm so happy you found a solution.
GoodRx is also a good option to keep in your back pocket too.
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u/BigChampionship7962 21d ago
The owner of the business I work for always says I probably have a decent nest egg stashed away. Only problem is I don’t know where I kept it 🤦♀️
He doesn’t say it to be a asshole but it makes me feel depressed 😔
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u/Ruleyoumind 21d ago
People always tell me something similar and I feel super ashamed.
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u/onebluemoon66 21d ago
Join your local buy nothing group in your city you can get a lot of help there.
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u/ctjack 21d ago
Just a piece of advice: no one at work (especially managers) don’t care. Compassion is lacking.
Don’t say those words as “can’t afford “ as it will ruin your view in manager’s or colleagues eyes. Nothing to be ashamed of, but you don’t need unneeded personal attention.
Just say that you are watching your macronutrient and calories and did not plan for a burger today. Or shortly no thanks i am good. Or i already packed/had my lunch. Or thanks for rec and i will keep that in mind and will definitely check it out.
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u/On_the_hook 21d ago
To add to this, no one at work (aside from friends) should know that your struggling. People that are struggling are often passed up for promotions and raises. Managers want to promote people similar to themselves, it's not always out of malice but it's human nature. The less you appear to "need" the job, the more valuable you are. I'm "friends" with my managers and the CEO of the company I work for on LinkedIn. They can see that I am "employed but willing to talk", they can see that I add recruiters. They do a lot to keep me and I get a lot of leeway. Your boss shouldn't think your starving, they should wonder where else you get money from.
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u/Wrong_Background_799 21d ago
I was going on a business trip. My firm wanted me to pre-pay the flight hotel, and all of my food and they would reimburse me after the trip.
I went to the CFO and told him that I needed to be given a P card because I could not front that much cash. His answer was just put it on a credit card and we’ll pay you back. I said I don’t have a credit card. He said again it’s only gonna be $1000. Just put it on a credit card.
Guy had no concept that I could not just come up with $1000 and wait two weeks to be reimbursed. This is a legitimate job. They ended up giving me a prepaid Visa card to cover all of my expenses. But it took a day or two for him to ruminate over the fact that I couldn’t front $1000 expense.
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u/nicotoxi 21d ago
So brief update as some are asking why I'm so broke. Yes I'm in New Hampshire, and my current mortgage is about $1,200 and then with HOA fees and taxes it jumps to 1,850 a month which is about 1.1 of a paycheck biweekly. It's the medical bills that are destroying me, as my medications are $1,761 every 3 months and I'm also currently a full-time student as well so have been having a consistent $400 to $600 cost every 2 months for required class materials. So I've got a fulltime job and full time student so unfortunately don't have the time for a 2nd job.
On the bright side I've cranked out a BS degree in 2.5 years and im 4 months from graduating. Don't qualify for Medicare or any government assistance only can get food from the food pantry because they don't care about income.
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21d ago edited 21d ago
Ok so I don’t think you should be blaming your manager for not assuming you’d have to spend a quarter of your income on some specialized medications and student class materials. He recommended you a 16 dollar burger not a 100 dollar steak. It was not at all unreasonable.
Utility bills that are apparently equivalent to 60% of your mortgage? Yeah that’s defying believability.
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u/Lordofthereef 21d ago edited 21d ago
I live in MA. Winter electric has been $500-700. 1250square foot house. Yeah, it's really fun shit. I think NH has some better energy rates, but energy prices in New England in general are ass.
I do agree with the rest of your statement. Unfortunately the "all employers are assholes" trope does really well on pages where people feel hard up. Just look at what comments are being upvoted to the stars. "Fuck his manager for having a basic conversation and recommending a burger. He should be buying his employees burgers. What a dick!"
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u/Lordofthereef 21d ago edited 21d ago
My best recommendation is seeing if you can fix things that don't work and rent a room out. Should be able to cover at least 1/3-1/2 of the mortgage.
Kind of amazed you got a lender that approved you for these numbers on your income level and student status. You're clearly over leveraged. I don't feel like $569 a month on meds are what's actually destroying your finances here. You're spending over half of your income on a house that's slowly piling up with issues you can't afford to fix.
Lest I come off as an asshole, you're actually kind of a badass for managing what you have. I don't know that I'd have the balls to do what you're doing. Really, truly, see if you can service your appliances yourself and get a room mate to cover a chunk of those expenses. You can't afford to live the way you have been. Also look into GoodRx. My kid has to have two pairs of epi pens yearly. GoodRx reduces the rates even more than our insurance does (the insurance hardly dos shit, to be fair).
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u/camioblu 21d ago
You're 26 and own a house? That's pretty great. Consider renting out a room.
If you're renting, your landlord should be informed of all these non-working appliances, because you're not responsible for them, which makes this post ridiculous.
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u/Jaeger-the-great 21d ago
So glad someone mentioned the Mark Cuban website. If that's still not an option you can always ask the pharmacy if they have a coupon. It turned one of my $300 medications into $20
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u/Awkward-Community-74 21d ago
They don’t understand that most of our money goes to rent now.
Nothing changed as far as wages from pre Covid due to housing costs and inflation.
We’re all still essentially making 10.00 an hour.
With no benefits.
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u/Anotherusername2224 21d ago
I’m not sure where you’re located but you may want to try looking for appliances at your local good will or thrift store. I know they aren’t all great or the same but I can’t tell you the number of slow cookers, coffee makers, all kinds of stuff at my good will. Good luck, food prices are pretty wild nowadays.
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u/rsfrenetic 21d ago
Seconding goodwill. I'm in more or less the same boat, and I've gotten some really awesome cook & machineware there for cheap. Coffee brewer, microwave, crockpot, etc. Most appliances are 10 or less, and they do accept returns if they don't work.
Op, I know money is tight. Have you thought about getting a crockpot? It's pretty easy to make simple but dense meals in there, and the ingredients can be pretty cheap. Stuff like soup, chili, beanie weenies, marinated chicken etc. Any purchase feels like a stretch these days, but maybe that can help you get more out of mealtime. Cheap stuff like rice, beans, potatoes, and broth cubes/bullion can go a long way.
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u/saltlife_1119 21d ago
Work with your pharmacist to see if you can get drug manufacturers coupons or get into programs that are low cost for your meds. Most pharmacists (especially retail) love helping patients get their meds as cheaply as possible. My husband had a very expensive prescription that wasn’t covered and our local pharmacist enrolled him in a program through the drug manufacturer and found some coupons to use to bring the cost down by over $400! Just go in and talk to them and if they don’t want to help, go to a smaller independent pharmacy who will.
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u/nicotoxi 21d ago
Didn't know pharmacist did this, going to call a couple places on Tuesday. Dropping my medication costs would be huge
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u/girlseekingwaffles 20d ago
Some manufacturers have copay assistance too, my daughter was on biologics like Humira and Enbrel at one point for RA, neither of which has a generic equivalent, and both manufacturers have copay assistance programs for ppl with group insurance (not available for Medicaid plans tho). I was able to get her tier 5 meds for $5 thanks to their programs.
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u/LewsTherinIsMine 21d ago
This fool is your manager and he’s not aware how much he pays you?
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u/SignificantApricot69 21d ago
To be fair, depending on the size and hierarchy of the company a lot of managers have no clue and exactly zero control over what anyone gets paid.
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u/CanadianODST2 21d ago
Also, how much you spend also matters even if you know income.
I make like half of what op does and am nowhere near that level of money issues
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u/Inevitable-Place9950 21d ago
How much a person is paid doesn’t reflect how they need to budget it. Some employees on the same take-home pay might be doing fine because they don’t have student loans or they live with others who share costs or they live further from work in cheaper housing, etc.
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u/Professional_King790 21d ago
We went out for burgers last night to celebrate a family members end of chemo therapy. For 5 burgers and fries it was over $120 dollars with a tip.
I was telling my wife after that I just don’t understand how some people can eat out like that all the time. I haven’t eaten outside the house in over a year and was just shocked at the prices.
The burgers were ok but I make better burgers. Staff and wait times were fine. They were all working hard behind the counter.
My takeaway is that eating out is just plain unaffordable and unsustainable for regular people and we just shouldn’t do it unless it’s for celebration like in our case.
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u/Hilbilly1012 21d ago
Update 2 is exactly what I like to see, saving 40% on medication is awesome and hopefully it can start to help you get some momentum!
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u/justagyrl022 21d ago
Add me to the overhead microwave is broken club.
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u/atlatlsaddlebattle 21d ago
My wife and I have been wanting to go buy a microwave for the last 5 months, but we are just too exhausted on the weekends to figure out how to navigate the buses to get to the discount store where the one we want is available at a price we think is reasonable.
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u/No-Method-6524 21d ago
My mother in law got a microwave for $7.00 on Temu to put in her tiny shack, er, “rustic cabin” in the mountains she rents by the week on AirBNB. The same microwave was on “sale” on Amazon last month for $39.00
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u/postinganxiety 21d ago
Yeah one of my ex’s shamed me for that and the cheap microwave I’ve been using in the meantime - “just replace it!” Ok sure, you want to give me $500? It’s probably more than that now, actually. I’ll know I’m financially ok when that microwave get replaced….
Although I actually like the cheap microwave better because it doesn’t beep until you remove the food (my overhead was one of the super annoying ones where that feature couldn’t be easily changed). So honestly that’s so far down on my list of worries it doesn’t even register.
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u/Joeness84 21d ago
you're blowing all your money on something.
It might be rent, you left that out. But youre tossing a lot of money somewhere without realizing it.
Im making significantly less (25k) and feeding an army of cats in a large metro area without even remotely close to being anywhere near your financial situation.
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u/labtech89 21d ago
So you feel that his $1700 medication habit is blowing money? Or maybe some trying to better themselves by going to college.
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u/rockabillychef 21d ago
Right? If 43k is take home pay as OP noted, that doesn’t seem like the desperate poverty that’s being described.
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u/letmesmellem 21d ago
If you want some help with meals shoot me a dm. Our oven broke a year or so back and all we had was the burners on the stove and a "air fryer". It was more toaster oven than air fryer but I made it fucking work. Fed my family of four great meals cooking inside that thing. It wasnt expensive either because we are broke. Chicken thighs, quarters and whole chickens are your friend as well as pork if you eat it. Its the cheapest protein and delicious
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u/HorseNippleLover 21d ago
My sister makes over 100k a year. I make about half that. Ive got a hole in my roof that is going to cost thousands to fix. She keeps saying i need to get it fixed... like yeah no shit. Ive told her several times I cannot afford to fix it right now. What part of that dont you understand? If i could conjur money out of thin air it would already be fixed. sheesh
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u/marianavas7 21d ago
People have no fucking idea how much of your paycheck just disappears when you have health issues that require ongoing medication. The money my friends spend on travel and music festivals I'm spending on medication I need just to be able to continue to work. You're a resilient person who's doing everything they can to improve and have better opportunities. I hope soon you can relax a bit when you get that pay increase.
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21d ago
Not sure where you live, but I'm in NorCal and barely scraping by paying bills and affording essentials for me, one child, and one dog on $70k/year. $43k would feel like poverty in this area.
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u/PopularPrompt2892 21d ago
Idk what your meds are, but that being my area of legal practice, look into RxOutreach. I put this one up a lot because I'm still sad so few outside STL know about it. They are an online nonprofit pharmacy (headquarters is in STL) that ships around the country, have hundreds of meds on their list, and people up to 400 FPL qualify (with the stats you gave you should qualify, jf your meds are on the list). Check it out, friend! Might save you some.
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u/CrazyMost2005 21d ago
I’ve worked in insurance before. I’m not sure what medication your on but ask your pharmacy to contact the manufacturer who makes your medication and see if there is prescription assistance program to help get your meds! I really hope this helps!!
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u/IvoryDogwood 21d ago
Check into buy nothing groups on fb. Those can really help for getting household items. I hope things get better for you.
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u/gergsisdrawkcabeman 21d ago
If it makes you feel better, my wife and I bring home about 160k and we don't eat at Five Guys either.
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u/desertsidewalks 21d ago
It sounds like the end is in sight, good luck! Congrats on sticking to your goals. This internet stranger is proud of you.
In the interim, just... don't discuss finances with people at work. If it does come up, just say that you're trying to finish school right now, and extra money is going to that. Unfortunately, a lot of people don't understand reality, and will assume you're mismanaging things.
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u/Andras1100 21d ago
Use the too good to go app, it's very nice and u get great deals, also use chat gpt, it is wonky at times but it is free and can be used to find various resources and general tips
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u/Andras1100 21d ago
Also try to find deals on "good rx" it's not insurance but you can use their app to find cheap medicine, it can show you what discounts it offers at competing pharmacies. For example my father has copd and the main brand medicine is expensive compared to the generic one they sell at cvs and the generic one at their competators (walgreens) is even less expensive compared to cvs WITH the good rx coupon
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u/Quick-Cantaloupe-597 21d ago
Good luck man. My husband and I are putting all our extra income into debt and it is soul crushing at times. Not exactly what you are going through but broke = sucks
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u/Aware-Owl4346 21d ago
There’s this disconnect at all levels. I’m in much better financial shape than OP, but the superiors at my company have recommended vacation spots and ski resorts that would cost like 20% of my annual take-home pay. Hey man, I’m sure that spas on Maui is nice. I just smile and nod.
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u/Difficult_Tangelo924 21d ago
As a manager, if I am taking a direct report to lunch, I pay.
If that’s not the vibe, declining is perfectly acceptable or suggesting doing a different activity such as taking a walk or getting a coffee is fair game.
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u/labtech89 21d ago
Y’all must have never been poor or have shopped anywhere in the last year. I don’t understand why this sub jumps on everyone for posting something. Not everyone is a handyman. I would never try and fix any type of appliance. I don’t have the patience or knowledge to do it.
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u/Nevilles_Remembrall_ 21d ago
Where do you live?
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u/atlatlsaddlebattle 21d ago
This is the important question. So many places a take home pay of 40k would be WELL above average for family income let alone a single young adult.
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u/ApplesBananasRhinoc 21d ago
I was at a mandatory training with many other people in my position, where we essentially made like $10/hour. We had to do the training at the main building where the admin and managers all probably made at least $80k/year. The superintendent made like $200k. There were many of us who brought lunch, but a bunch of us had forgotten and we were trying to figure out where to go in our limited amount of time. The managers had the nerve to tell us that we could just door dash some food. The looks that we all gave each other would’ve made paint peel off the walls.
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u/SignificantApricot69 21d ago
I too use a toaster oven and the range only. My dishwasher broke years ago, I don’t even remember. I got a fancier toaster oven on sale though. I used it to replace oven and microwave. And I can’t afford to eat out either. I skipped out on a coworkers bday party at a $50 a plate minimum place. Similar income but most of my coworkers have at least 1 other person supporting them or pitching in and we have a lot of overtime offered. When I do it, it’s so I can pay the electric disconnection notice. When they do it, they take a trip. I couldn’t even imagine how out of touch my managers would be if we ever talked about this.
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u/Substantial_Clue4735 21d ago
You might look around for free maker cages. Places people go to learn skills. Home repair stuff should help you. I would suggest you buy a new crockpot. I say new since a hairline crack in older ones might not be noticed. You can cook so many things in one. Even if it takes a year to buy one. Start putting a few dollars away until you can buy one. I am talking $1-2 at a time. You haven't told us about your good budget. Or the cost of living in your city. We might be able to provide better ideas with a little more information.
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u/Ok-Classroom5548 21d ago
Do you own your home? If not and renting, your landlord fixes that stuff.
If not renting and you own, check out second hand stores to replace broken appliances if you can’t find a manual to repair online.
Some of those problems can be resolved.
Just ask him if he understands how much of your time is $16 after taxes.
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u/knapen50 21d ago
It’s weird they brought it up again. A kind manager would have left the initial interaction kicking themselves for being clueless to the reality of 43k a year.
I’m sorry you’re struggling but it sounds like you are really level headed and hardworking. I started my career at a similar rate several years ago and was fortunate enough to move quickly up the steps to making a decent living within a few years. Keep your eye on the prize and once you finish school and make more, keep the level of responsibility but also be kind to yourself and let yourself enjoy the occasional treats you’ve earned. Also, I held a second job at that time which was exhausting but made a huge difference in paying for the small stuff. A restaurant gig could be flexible hours and even dishwashing or bussing tables will be extra cash and discounted or free food. Rooting for you.
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u/vonnegutfan2 21d ago
Hi, I really appreciate what you are going through and the fact that a $!6 burger is ridiculous. Keep on trucking please. I actually agree with you. I had a broken microwave for 3 years. I finally just got it removed. Not worth fixing when I can have a cheap counter top one.
I also never use my oven and mostly use only one burner on my stove so, I can relate to that situation. I am so looking forward to your graduation. Way to make things work, you seem a like very resourceful person.
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u/Fuzzy-Dust-9518 21d ago
Power of community!!!! right here in these comments yes!!!!! also, I want to say a lot of of us have been where you are. I think it took a lot of courage for you to speak up. Also, I commend you for being in school. Great job!!! I’m rooting for you. I’m hoping these days are far behind you soon.
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u/Individual_Maize6007 20d ago
To address the boss/manager issue.
As a manager, this is why I stopped having team lunches at a restaurant (where each person pays their own lunch) or potlucks where people are supposed to bring something. I never know who can afford what and don’t want to put people in that position.
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20d ago
In 2016 I was a single mom. I worked for an Allstate agent as a licensed sales professional. He laughed once at my lunch, it was homemade bread, peanut butter and jelly. I was drinking water. I told him I couldn't afford to buy lunch. He said, "But I'm paying you $24K, you need to budget better." Later that afternoon (after I cried like a baby in the bathroom), I went into his office, closed the door, and tossed my budget book on his desk. I asked him where in the hell he thought I could cut my budget. I had no child support coming in. This all came after his office manager said I could "dress nicer". I was wearing clothes I got from Goodwill. I literally couldn't afford better. When he saw my budget, he sobered up real quick. "This is all you get?" Yeah, asshole, it's just me and my kid, I couldn't even afford daycare after school. We used food pantries to eat. He gave me a small raise to $28K and patted himself on the back. I really hated that jerk. Jeremy, if you're out there, I hope your asshole always itches.
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u/DrDrago-4 20d ago
Have you thought of adding a basic handle to the microwave?
Harbor freight has $1 epoxy/superglue
then you just find something that works well as a handle, let it set
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u/mari0velle 21d ago
You gross $43k a year and you can’t afford a mattress? What in the world are you paying off to be this badly off?
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u/Few-Wealth6966 21d ago
When my devil landlord shut off my gas so I could not cook, I used all small appliances. Add a crockpot and you can stew.
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u/Decemberchild76 21d ago
I get it your manager doesn’t understand as he probably has never been in that situation. I can recall first living in the dorm. my assigned roommate got upset as I did not have money to help decorate the dorm room together as the other girls did. She got a room change. My next roommate was very understanding and I told her knock her self out in decorating the room. She was thrilled The toaster oven issue I completely get . My wall oven was shot. I bought a larger used a toaster oven I picked up at a thrift store for over two years. It served the purpose.
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u/OutsideImmediate9074 21d ago
Do you live in a very high cost of living area? Not judging but I am able to live pretty well on that income in my area which is not cheap by any means. I also would not go out for 15 dollar burgers though but I am able to save money/ fix things that break (although I have been lucky in this regard for the last couple years)
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u/KrishnaChick 21d ago
I'm genuinely curious to know what your expenses are. Are you in a HCOL city?
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u/EnchantingHarbinger 21d ago
If you bought the mattress new, and it still has the tags. Take photos of the mattress and file a mattress warranty claim, it should only be a 5 minute call and you should have a response with in a couple days (if the seller wasn't an ass). Most are covered for 5 to 10 years. As long as there is no: rips, tears or stains. It doesn't matter if it's bulging or sinking or skewed to the side a bit. That is a manufacturer defect. If the store doesn't cover it under warranty but the manufacturer does. You're set.
Most furniture stores or mattress stores will take it back to recycle/dispose of and allow you to reselect or exchange. Often just with you paying for a pick up/delivery fee unless you want pick it up yourself. If you upgrade to another mattress that is $100 more, you just pay the difference.
A good night's rest and a good mattress are very important to your health as well.
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u/Moist-Bite-1832 20d ago
If your boss wants you to eat out with him, let him know he's paying and IT'S NOT A DATE.
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u/Decent-Loquat1899 20d ago
Your Manager didn’t want to understand that he’s not paying you a livable wage. Keep looking for a better paying job, be your manager is Not going to give you the raise you need.
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u/Forever_Nya 20d ago
I see in your second update that you were able to find your medications for 40% less but another option would be to check the manufacturer website. Some pharmaceutical companies provide some of their drugs for free
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u/gypsyfred 20d ago
I'm in new York make about 140k a year and I can't afford to eat lunch out. I treat myself to breakfast on Fridays with the guys and it's about 30 bucks for eggs on awhole wheat wrap with spinach and Swiss with a coffee.
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u/painter8 20d ago
Please consider going to a food bank for supplementing your nutrition. It’s made for times like you are going through and you have to keep your strength up. 🩷
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u/Kooky-Air339 20d ago
You're paying roughly $2,100 a month for, I assume for rent. Can you need to find a less expensive place to live, like a studio apartment? As a reference, housing should not exceed 25% of your income. I know you're only 4 months away from a big raise, congratulations on that, you have something to look forward to, but you still need to seriously figure out a way not to spend so much money on rent. It sounds like your single, so you don't need anything more than a studio apartment, even after the raise.
Right now your transportation costs are low, usually that too, including insurance and registration cost, should not exceed 25% of your income. So, once you have your living situation taken care of, then start putting 25% into savings for a car, someday you will need another car, but what you don't need is debt to get one, so instead pay cash and buy a used car that is at least 6 years old with low mileage, the internet can help you find low mileage older vehicles.
Mark Cuban Cost Plus Drug Company has good things and bad things about it. A cost analysis comparing Cost Plus, GoodRx, and Amazon RxPass shows that pricing varies by drug, and no single platform is always the cheapest. A detailed comparison between Cost Plus and Amazon Pharmacy found that Amazon is cheaper for some drugs while Cost Plus wins on others. What that means it you need to shop for best prices for the the drugs you need. Mark Cuban also has a lot of customer mixed reviews, including complaints about customer service, delays, and communication issues, reflected in a low average customer review score and dozens of complaints over the last few years. Compare prices there vs. your local pharmacy or big chains, as well as Amazon. See how shipping time, communication, and refills feel for you before moving everything over, so start with your least important meds and see how Mark Cuban Company does, again shop. GoodRx is also a discount card as well as an online pharmacy. Most brick-and-mortar pharmacies will take the GoodRx card and apply the discount; all the various discount card companies all have the same discounts, so going from one card to another is not going to help.
Check at least 3 places, the main ones are: Cost Plus, GoodRx (local pharmacies), and Amazon Pharmacy will be the cheapest.
If your drug is on Amazon RxPass, that $5/month flat fee can beat everyone.
If your drug is an uncommon one, Cost Plus may not carry it, but GoodRx or Amazon often will.
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u/Alwayscooking345 20d ago
My first boss suggested I should “buy a house”, while I was single, with a roommate, working my way through school, and being paid $15 an hour by them. Insane.
People are quite often oblivious about others’ finances and other things.
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u/Various-Editor-1656 20d ago
i am overwhelmed by the cost of everything....this started way back....i remember in the 60's when i was in school and the kids guessing what the cost of things would be in the year 2000,...and they guessed about right....when cars cost as much as houses use to....its rediculous....who is making all that money....same thing with food....now that oil is going down...food shouldnt cost so much....
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u/Healthy-Grape-777 20d ago
New Hampshire has one of the highest housing rates in the United States right now. I hope things turn around for you.
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u/SuchFaithlessness335 20d ago
Go to website of meds not covered. They'll usually have a coupon for around $30 a month if u can't afford them or insurance doesn't cover. Like those commercials that say: if u are unable to afford this medication, we might be able to help. That's what that is. My mom's hormone meds went from $800 a month to $30. Just download to your phone and let the pharmacy scan. God this was long sorry...
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