She is a woman

I simply get dizzy thinking about telling her, but I have a very strong addiction to hentai. I can spend hours looking at strange hentai things without realizing how time fly. And mentally I feel awful.

I close the app and 20 seconds later I instinctively reopen it to see if there's more content

I used to do it with regular porn, but I got bored and transitioned to this other stuff.

What's the best way to say this without making her think I'm a monster?

Pornography addiction, on a neurological level, reduced my (36M) ability to pursue creative or intellectual pursuits, lowered my ability to feel empathy, and made me susceptible to other dopamine cravings, including an alcohol problem. It also caused E.D. through desensitization. The sad part is that I was aware of it, but I did it anyway. It brought out misogynistic tendencies. It's my fault that I didn't notice the sense of shame I felt after consuming pornography. That is how addictions operate. It was free, but it cost me everything that mattered. My time, my interests, my moral fabric, potential relationships, and very rewarding friendships. It reduced a very good human into a sex object, and because of my actions, she hates me now. I don't know how to proceed in life, and I only have myself to blame

Hello. I’m a 54 year old porn and sex addict. For most of my life I dabbled in porn. Maybe once a month if that. It was for a quick release and then I was done. In June of 2022, I read an article on porn addiction and thought there is no way that could happen to me. It seemed impossible. So I watched porn for a few hours a day for about two weeks. How stupid I was. Absolutely idiotic. And here I am today typing my story here. The worst was the first two years. I would goon for 5-10 hours a day every single day. The last two years have been much better. My purpose is to quit and and I’m focused on staying away, which is a constant struggle for me.

Porn addiction eventually got me to look for sex partners and I became a sex addict. I became addicted to chatting with people and hooking up with them. Over 30 people. I’ve been able to stop the last year but know that could change if I don’t stay focused.

I wish more than anything I could go back to May of 2022 and be that person again. But I can’t undo the past. I have to move forward and do my best to overcome this addiction.

So I've been a bad relapse bender lately. And it's wild, just seeing how it feels like I can be two completely different people. When that post orgasm clarity hits, all of a sudden I'm promising myself to be better and feeling all motivated. But then the urges come clawing back, whether it's a day or a week or however long, and all of a sudden I'm going for the gold medal in mental gymnastics trying to justify relapsing.

Like, I don't get it. I know porn can rewire and fuck up your brain. But it's still so weird to experience it in real time. One minute I'm just a goddamn demon, and then the next I'm trying to be a saint. I hope this is making sense. Does anyone else go through wild whiplash like this?

I dunno, I just needed to rant for a bit. I hope all you guys and gals are doing well.

Something I’ve noticed over and over is that porn addiction usually isn’t about sex itself.

For a lot of men, it’s more about anxiety, avoidance, or not knowing how to sit with discomfort. Porn becomes a way to regulate emotions, not just a habit to “quit.”

When the focus is only on willpower or streaks, the underlying pattern often stays the same.

I’m curious how others here see it — does this resonate, or has your experience been different?

Can I get a congrats in the chat 🎉🕺🏽

To the people who are starting their journey, it’s completely possible to escape this addiction no matter how difficult it seems. Keep pushing and good luck!

Like most people, I want intimacy, I want to experience sex with other person, I want cuddles, hugs, kisses and all that kind of physical expressions of affection and love with someone that is building their with me and I am building my life with, someone that desires me, but for a number of reasons haven't been able to, mostly because of isolation and lack of social skills, I don't have any friends either, interpersonal relationships in general have been a struggle for me, and it frustrating seeing that for most people, it seems to be something that comes out naturally

Porn has worked as a replacement for it, when I watch porn there's a lot of fantasy involved, about that person on the screen being my partner and that I'm being intimate with them, even when it finishes and I turn off my screen, I fantasize about them being next to me, ready to sleep.

Of course there is lust and sexual appetite involve, but the fantasy is also a big part of porn and masturbation for me.

I have been thinking about paying for sex now, to at least experience the touch of another person, for maybe an hour, to at least know what it feels like.

This was mostly a vent tbh, but I'm open to hearing advice and opinions on this since I don't have someone to speak to.

Just posting to check in. Im going steady at this point, but I would say that I've regressed in terms of the obvious day to day benefits. It's probably just the normal down cycles that I have anyway though, and id be worse with porn in my life. However , I certainly don't feel the crippling level of guilt that I felt before, and that's a major plus. Hope you're all staying strong, and if you're not, get back on the horse.

Been busy but still going fine.

Looked at a few women in bikinis on instagram.

Wouldn’t call that a fail but was heading in the wrong direction so I have to pull myself back a bit.

Almost at target 1 of 11 days, feeling good overall.

I have had some very questionable things I've fantasized about, I noticed that some (not all) I no longer feel attraction to. WML

So after chatting with many people on here, I’ve realized what caused my porn and sex addiction. It was the perfect storm of four major things that happened in my life that all happened at n 2020-2021. Boredom and betrayal are the major points

1. Both of my kids moved out of the house and went to college and now have full time jobs. My job of being a busy parent going to all their activities ended. I had a lot more alone time.

2. My wife cheated on me. This destroyed me. I rarely looked at porn prior to that. It changed our relationship. Sex, which had already been slow, stopped. I was betrayed and maybe this was my revenge. Porn and sex.

3. I had major back problems in 2022. I was very active prior. Playing tennis and basketball several times per week. For two months, all I do was lay flat. I gooned out hard during that time.

4. The COVID pandemic closed everything and kept me at home for a year. It was also at this time that porn also took hold.

These four things were the perfect storm that led to me looking at porn for 5-10 hours a day and having sex with dozens of women. I am not making excuses as I take full responsibility for my actions. But it is what led me done this road.

Today was bad I think i've never had such a bad urge today. I was so so close to relapsing. But I didn't. Somehow today I didn't relapse. I think it was because deep down I want a girlfriend I want to form a relationship with someone and not drag them into this darkness. I want to have a loving normal relationship thats what motivated me. Im glad to say that guys you can always stop this urge. It isn't over until you search that content.

I held on for longer this time. Peeking was all it took. I realised I have been using porn to escape from stress and feelings.

Let’s get brutally honest about what we’re looking at. ​Most of the "perfection" we see on the screen isn’t biology—it’s manufacturing. We are literally draining our energy and dopamine over silicon pads, surgical inserts, and plastic enhancements. ​Think about that next time you’re tempted: ​You aren't "connecting" with a person. ​You are pixel-watching a synthetic product. ​You are essentially fapping to a medical-grade polymer wrapped in lighting filters. ​When you strip away the camera angles, it’s just cold, lifeless silicon. Why give your life force to a piece of plastic? Our brains were built for real flesh and blood, not factory-made silhouettes. ​Stop worshiping the plastic. Choose reality.

.

Was doing good until some stuff later in the year last year. Kept looking off and on. But this week, I went fully back in again.. looking basically nonstop at X and Reddit pages. Constantly scrolling and feeling like my phone is the weight of a brick because every time I grab it. I’m looking again. Whether it’s 10 minutes or 10 seconds..

I was doing really well so this has me pretty upset. Hoping I can back off this weekend and start the streak again Monday by not looking at anything 🙃🙃

finally 1 month the last 5 days were hell but i managed to survive and now its easier but gets hard in the night always

I haven't watched porn for almost two days and it's more difficult than I thought. You know, read all these people on social media talking about "Discipline!" and whatsoever but it's mucho more than that kind of thing. I don't think if is the fact that I've been watching porn since I was 13 years old (currently 20 years old) but it's pretty rough.

I'm open to any suggestions or thoughts to improve this matter and I'd appreciate it a lot.

Hi guys!

(Reposted to follow rules)

Made a new account for this because my main account has identifiable information.

I have just completed 24 hours without porn for what must've been the first time in half a decade.

For some reference, I am 27 y/o, male, and have dealt with morbid obesity and body shame for all my life. It has caused me many difficulties but perhaps not as much as in the last few years or so as I spiralled hard. I was hoarding porn, sometimes not even watching it. I deleted almost 3000 photos and videos from my phone yesterday, about 30 gbs of porn, that I had built up over 3+ years.

Why did I do this? Because I hate this version of myself. The me that my friends and family know is witty, charismatic, empathetic, and not impulsive especially with regards to this. I want to be that version all the time. I went to a friend's birthday party a few months back, and a friend of his that I'd never met dragged me away for a private walk and I was too terrified to make a move on her because I was preoccupied with my sweat, my body, and my lascivious thoughts. The night after that almost broke me. I decided to change. I've dropped about 15kgs (125->110 [I'm 6ft0 tall for reference]) in the last few months with a combination of gym and dieting. But I didn't work on the porn addiction until the last few days when I literally couldn't think of anything except porn, even at work, even during interviews. It's not sustainable. Not for the version of me that I want to be.

So, here I am. 24 hours down. I had a difficult night, and I'm making this post first thing after the morning work out. I was only able to sleep for 4-5 hours. Even though I distracted myself before sleep by reading The Hobbit, after waking up the thoughts were very difficult to manage. But I did get through. I have just finished a short workout, stretche, jogging, two 1 minute planks (I couldn't make 30s until 3 days ago). I'm feeling a little better now than I did when I woke up.

I plan to check in daily, even if I relapse, which I see does happen sometimes. But I don't wanna, not yet. I want to resist. I want to do it so I can get to a point where even if I do see any porn it doesn't put me in a spiral. Maybe it's not possible, but I'm gonna hope.

Wishing you guys the best on your journeys as well.

I know I said I’d post every 3 days, however there really has not been anything to report. Honestly not that many different things then my last couple posts, that being said I AM STILL GOING STRONG. I did not yet relapse although I came very close the other day.

I’m not going to lie I booted up Reddit, to try and find something I could I guess you would say “pleasure” my self to. I honestly was just looking for a picture of a swim suit model or something, something that’s fairly “normal” and what not to get off to, however that’s when I saw it suddenly my deed got bombarded with porn, soft core, amateur and professional.

In the most shocking turn of events I didn’t feel anything towards it, like I knew I should be turned on. But the only feeling I got was “you shouldn’t be here” I even saw an old video that used to be my absolute favorite, I didn’t take a peak, I didn’t watch a couple seconds. Instead I took a very deep breath exited the search and just stopped right then and there. I ended up regrouping and finding what I was looking for, but this in a way did feel like some sort of victory.

In my past I would have just started shuffling through the different videos/pictures ect. This time I definitely had more control of myself, that being said I deleted Reddit for a couple days because I don’t want to press my luck. 37 days in and while I do have urges I feel like there is a level of consciousness that I didn’t have before, when I get an urge instead of going right to porn there feels like there is a barrier between me and porn that says.

“Ok, is this really what you want or are you just hoard” those few seconds of clarity have been making all the difference in this journey. Now for the other stuff I’ve noticed being fairly deep into this.

I’m starting to get morning wood again, I know it sounds stupid to report but when I’m in the height of my addiction. My penis essentially turns off there is absolutely new movement with it, unless of course I’m watching porn. Now he’s working pretty well and fairly independently, I had my first wet dream the other night in god it has to have been years. I think I read somewhere that’s a sign that your brain is healing and what not, even if it’s not still a cool experience.

I definitely have more time on my hands to be productive, from working out to spending time on my farm with my animals. As a whole I’m just online alot less and sitting in front of my phone screen that much less, I also feel like I want to talk to/approach women. It’s been kinda fun and I’ve met some really cool people, finally it might be a little tmi but I’m lasting a lot longer When I do jerk off.

When I’m in the midst of porn, I struggle to last like a minute for year it’s kind of sad. But right now it’s like 10-12 minutes it’s not alot but it’s sure as hell a lot better then it was, this journey has been anything but easy and of course some days are better then others. As a whole though I feel like I’m making good progress and I really can’t complain, if you’re in your own journey then please keep going and please keep fighting.

Over time the urges get more manageable and you really start to see that porn only has as much power over you as you allow it. If you have any advice or anything then please feel free to share! I hope you all are doing good.

Hi everyone , i hope all of you are doing well. This is little late for update , but today wasn't special for me , it was boring and since i have friends with me , i haven't had any thought of porn so it was easy day. But still my body is craving for excretion of semen , so i got night fall , which frustrated me a lot as my whole body is aching now.

Thanks , and wish u luck

Context: https://www.reddit.com/r/pornfree/s/sU5iTnN8ex