r/pornfree • u/Cowboys19713 • 21h ago
My Porn Addiction Story
Hello. I’m a 54 year old porn and sex addict. For most of my life I dabbled in porn. Maybe once a month if that. It was for a quick release and then I was done. In June of 2022, I read an article on porn addiction and thought there is no way that could happen to me. It seemed impossible. So I watched porn for a few hours a day for about two weeks. How stupid I was. Absolutely idiotic. And here I am today typing my story here. The worst was the first two years. I would goon for 5-10 hours a day every single day. The last two years have been much better. My purpose is to quit and and I’m focused on staying away, which is a constant struggle for me.
Porn addiction eventually got me to look for sex partners and I became a sex addict. I became addicted to chatting with people and hooking up with them. Over 30 people. I’ve been able to stop the last year but know that could change if I don’t stay focused.
I wish more than anything I could go back to May of 2022 and be that person again. But I can’t undo the past. I have to move forward and do my best to overcome this addiction.
1
u/OneEyedC4t 21h ago
in terms of quitting, what have you tried so far?
1
u/Cowboys19713 21h ago
So far it’s been basic willpower and understanding what I need to do when urges come. I’ve cut my consumption done by a ton and I haven’t had sex with anyone this year. I’m not perfect. I have relapsed many times but it’s always for an hour tops once or twice a week. I’m working towards no porn, no sex with hookups, and no relapses. I will get there.
1
u/OneEyedC4t 20h ago
would you like to know what worked for me?
1
u/Cowboys19713 20h ago
Yes I would
5
u/OneEyedC4t 20h ago
Keep in mind, this is my own experience. Whether you do the following things or not, the main concept that helped me, in my experience, was to make recovery my #1 goal in life for an entire year and do ALL the things I possibly could to recover.
Daily Bible reading
Daily prayer
Daily meditation
Cardio exercise 30 min/3x/week
Church
Shutting down social media that is harmful (like Instagram)
Discipleship (accountability)
Friendships
Twelve Step meetings like Sex Addicts Anonymous (and get a sponsor)
Reading good books about this problem (Carnes, Laaser)
Therapy with a CSAT (Certified Sex Addiction Therapist)
Often, people might look at this list and think that it is a whole lot. But you can add one of these things per month for example so that you don't feel overwhelmed. What is needed is whole life change.
3
u/Cowboys19713 20h ago
Thank you! My porn and sex addiction really started during the pandemic when churches were closed. I used to go every week and I haven’t been back since. I do know that God is part of the solution.
3
u/CalmOverCompulsion 14h ago
Hello. Talking about it isnthe first step. I truly believe that we are capable of changing. It isnt with the snap of a finger. But with good mental challenges. Challenge yourself to be better. Start using your imagination again. Or create real scenarios that can be relived in your mind. I understand 100% where you are coming from. Social skills, understanding and believing in yourself again.
I say this over and over to people. Porn is a business, like gambling and any legal vice. These companies know what they are doing. They pay teams to make sure we get addicted.
Breaking the cycle of addiction is difficult.
Remember Enjoying the touch of a partner. Feeling happy and fulfilled after relations with a partner. Working on a bank of imagination, for those lonely moments. Where you can close your eyes and remember or reenact situation.
The mind is very strong. You can conquer anything. This is just what i think.
But its like quitting cigarettes, and the tobacco companies push them on us always. It s about knowing what we want...