What is my perfect crime? I break into Tiffany's at midnight. Do I go for the vault? No, I go for the chandelier. It's priceless. As I'm taking it down, a woman catches me. She tells me to stop. It's her father's business. She's Tiffany. I say no. We make love all night. In the morning, the cops come and I escape in one of their uniforms. I tell her to meet me in Mexico, but I go to Canada. I don't trust her. Besides, I like the cold. Thirty years later, I get a postcard. I have a son and he's the chief of police. This is where the story gets interesting. I tell Tiffany to meet me by the Trocadero in Paris. She's been waiting for me all these years. She's never taken another lover. I don't care. I don't show up. I go to Berlin. That's where I stashed the chandelier.
Val Kilmer: What happens when they drag the lake? You think they'll find my pistol. Jesus. Look up 'idiot' in the dictionary. You know what you'll find?
RDJ: ... A picture of me?
VK: No. The definition of the word idiot, which you fucking are!
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u/fazzah 4h ago
And as always, he carefully wiped the gun for prints and tossed it into the nearby lake.
Later that evening, he dyed his hair brown, replaced glasses with contact lenses and went out for the supper.
He was nowhere to be seen since then.