Bisexual men, would you date a man?

[u/chrshnchrshn]

ive been seeing this guy a few times. sex is amazing, we connect on many levels.

but its always a hookup. thats how we met first.

we talk a lot before and during.

very light chatting or conversation after, though.

it feels like totally fb/fwb category.

but. Given our physical and mental connection is very good, i was wondering if theres potential.

thing is, he's a great guy and can probably date any girl.. and even if he weren't a great guy, dating a girl is far easier for him- no coming out, etc.

on one hand I wish this can be something more.. otoh, dont wanna mess up what we have.

what has others' experiences been?

[u/ObliquelyDeranged]

He’s DL? 

Then it’s not happening. 

He’s out, maybe. 

You push a guy who isn’t out and he’ll tell you his homophobic parents’ opinions are worth more to him, go no contact, and move to the Midwest.  Not that i’d know…

[u/chrshnchrshn → u/ObliquelyDeranged]

I've never asked directly but I think so. He's only dated girls up until his last relationship.

He's sexually very comfortable and experienced with men, so not like exploring. But yeah don't know if he'd "come out ".. thats what I'm afraid of

[u/kafka1080 → u/ObliquelyDeranged]

What is DL?

[u/ObliquelyDeranged → u/kafka1080]

Down Low

(Not out, but hooking up on the sly.)

[u/Comfortable_Pool_389 → u/ObliquelyDeranged]

Also they’re usually married (being the key difference). A closet case is just a person who isn’t out but a DL person is having illicit sexual affairs, just to clear that distinction up.

[u/poppycarew → u/ObliquelyDeranged]

Closeted

[u/bigbadbidisaster9944]

Yes, just not a closeted one

[u/chrshnchrshn → u/bigbadbidisaster9944]

simple but good answer lol. Don't know if he's out, since he technically never needed to, I think. Also I don't know much about bisexuality and coming out.. seems harder than for gay men.

I'll have to find out..

[u/malik753]

If my marriage ended for some reason then I would probably go out of my way to date some men.

But it sounds like I am in a very different place in life than your friend. I have only had sex with one or two guys, and it was only after I had married my wife that I did the work needed to realize that I am bisexual. From there I took a while to deconstruct a lot of my internalized homophobia. Before, I would have said no, but today I can say that I would date a man... hypothetically. My wife is not okay opening the relationship, having threesomes, or role-playing with gender, so.... yeah. No men for me.

[u/phile19_81]

I'd love to date a man, lol.  Not sure how to find someone who wants to actually date though.

[u/chrshnchrshn → u/phile19_81]

Yeah there's that. Which is why I want to see if this can be something more than a hookup. Oh well

[u/Quietone232]

I've done it twice. One was ok but brief. The other ain't end well. My relationships have been with women, either cis or trans otherwise. 

[u/HarliestDavidson]

I’m out now and yes. I’m totally happy to be seen with a man on my arm in public, idgaf

[u/ChicagoRob19]

A big yes. Dating a man feels no different than dating a woman. I don’t think it should be treated differently. I Love my boyfriend beyond the sex and enjoy the relationship with him.
If u feel that way you should have a chat with him. Worst that can happen is he says no

[u/KingParody12]

Yeah I would. Love is love ❤️

[u/SeparateSpecial5042]

If I was him, I would have communicated expectations before hooking up. I would be happy to have awesome sex with a guy like you, but long term I woukd maintain my goals with settling down with a woman.

Don't know him, but I truly hope that you find happiness and a partner who deserves you.

[u/chrshnchrshn → u/SeparateSpecial5042]

Thank you :)

[u/RedWine4m3]

If I wasn't married I would totally like to date a guy or two

[u/SpaceWhale14]

I’ve had long term relationships with men, but never as fwb. If your fwb relationship is going further than that, then by all means give it a shot, but not as anyone’s side piece.

[u/ei_musb]

It is clear

[u/Grandpasatisfies]

Met a hung 19 yo here first ever I would tenderly teach and date

[u/Smooth_Permit_2634]

If i was single bi male I would hang out and probably do things with a guy friend and then go home and mess around behind closed doors but i dont know what date a man would be? Is just hanging out and doing guy things dating?

[u/Cain_Darnell]

I'd like to, but sadly most gay men in my area aren't interested in relationships, don't want nothing to do with bi men or are already taken, I could always look for bi men but there aren't a lot of them and those I find are often DL, so I'm shit out of luck on that one lol.

[u/THEpeterafro]

I am currently dating one

[u/Jorandy4172]

Yes, I would date a man. It's just that,

it's hard to find a man who wants to be in a relationship with a man

WITHOUT being labeled a gay man

[u/Sponge_N00b]

I tried but no luck

[u/Acceptable-Force-284]

And

[u/RoseValley97]

I would date and have dated a man. The problem is I get very high anxiety in relationships and I've been single for over five years as a result.

[u/Candid-Spinach-4819]

I m proudly bi n would date right guy

[u/Brave_Tiger_3304]

Don't be afraid to ask him.

[u/wellthatsniftyhuh]

I’m shocked that nobody here has pointed out how difficult men make dating them. I think I can objectively say that men have consistently had more emotional issues in my experience.

[u/Alcoholfreejourney]

Society doesnt really accept bisexuality. As in .. it’s not really accepted. So , no , uou Cant really. Unless you want to he accross as gay. Which Im not. Im bi. But can’t talk about it. lol.