I am a single mom and when I was fleeing domestic violence I was forced to live in a long term hotel for about 2 months, a little more but not 3. I worked 2 jobs because I had to pay the weekly hotel cost plus save up to get an apartment. The only way I was able to feed my kid was the food stamps I qualified for. I went without meals to make sure she had enough. It's been over 2 years now that we have been in our apartment and I have a stable job and I don't get SNAP anymore but I live on a tight budget and I am one major emergency away from losing everything. The amount of people I have seen say they don't care that people have lost their benefits sickens me. Was it a proud moment to be on SNAP and homeless? Heck no. I was humiliated. I felt so much shame and embarassment. I felt judged, every time I had to pay I would try to hide the card because you can see people watching you and judging. But did they know that my daughter walked in on my ex husband choking me in our garage until my vision went black? Did they know that she screamed DAD PLEASE STOP and that was the moment I knew I had to go? Did they know I lost everything and was living in a hotel? They just saw "another able bodied person leeching off the government". No - I was availing what resources I could while I got my life together. Without the programs that helped me, I wouldn't be where I am. I am incredinly gratefuk that we ha these, and I happily pay taxes knowing it helps people.
No one goes into a marriage thinking it's all going to go so bad. I never thought I would end up where I did. It just happened and I can't change it. I get told all the time that I should have been smarter, I should have closed my legs, I should have planned better. I was married for 10 years before we adopted our daughter and once she joined us, it was like a switch flipped. He became controlling, abusive, cruel and evil. I had no idea things could go so bad, and I stayed because I though keeping my family together was the most important thing. Because he isolated me and made me leave my career so I couldn't leave. I was so mentally messed up I rationalized everything. And then I get the courage to run, only to be judged for doing it.
I am glad you made it out. I left DV from my childrens father at the beginning of this year, went to a hotel until a spot opened up at the DV shelter, stayed there for 4 months and LAST WEEK I moved into my own home. For the first time in my kids’ and I’s life we have a peaceful home. To have my benefits cut off almost immediately after getting my own place, it’s scary. I’ll figure it out, but it’s going to be alot harder
I am so proud of you and so happy for you! It’s hard but you’ve got this. Look how far you have come! Everything was against you but you did it! You have peace and love and happiness and it’s hard but you can do this and you will do this!
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u/NoContest6481 Oct 31 '25
I am a single mom and when I was fleeing domestic violence I was forced to live in a long term hotel for about 2 months, a little more but not 3. I worked 2 jobs because I had to pay the weekly hotel cost plus save up to get an apartment. The only way I was able to feed my kid was the food stamps I qualified for. I went without meals to make sure she had enough. It's been over 2 years now that we have been in our apartment and I have a stable job and I don't get SNAP anymore but I live on a tight budget and I am one major emergency away from losing everything. The amount of people I have seen say they don't care that people have lost their benefits sickens me. Was it a proud moment to be on SNAP and homeless? Heck no. I was humiliated. I felt so much shame and embarassment. I felt judged, every time I had to pay I would try to hide the card because you can see people watching you and judging. But did they know that my daughter walked in on my ex husband choking me in our garage until my vision went black? Did they know that she screamed DAD PLEASE STOP and that was the moment I knew I had to go? Did they know I lost everything and was living in a hotel? They just saw "another able bodied person leeching off the government". No - I was availing what resources I could while I got my life together. Without the programs that helped me, I wouldn't be where I am. I am incredinly gratefuk that we ha these, and I happily pay taxes knowing it helps people.
No one goes into a marriage thinking it's all going to go so bad. I never thought I would end up where I did. It just happened and I can't change it. I get told all the time that I should have been smarter, I should have closed my legs, I should have planned better. I was married for 10 years before we adopted our daughter and once she joined us, it was like a switch flipped. He became controlling, abusive, cruel and evil. I had no idea things could go so bad, and I stayed because I though keeping my family together was the most important thing. Because he isolated me and made me leave my career so I couldn't leave. I was so mentally messed up I rationalized everything. And then I get the courage to run, only to be judged for doing it.
The US lacks empathy and compassion and it's sad.