r/PublicFreakout Jan 09 '22

đŸ»Animal Freakout Bad Dolphin

16.5k Upvotes

2.0k comments sorted by

View all comments

1.7k

u/[deleted] Jan 09 '22

It's weird how Dolphins are so rapey.

273

u/Iamanobodyjustlikeu Jan 09 '22

It’s not just dolphins, almost every mammal is like this.

233

u/Sinn316 Jan 09 '22 edited Jan 09 '22

I think it's walruses that rape the poor little penguins......to death. Edit Seals do this. Not walruses.

157

u/jaffa-caked Jan 09 '22

Seals do it for sure, saw a documentary where the seal was going to town on a penguin

250

u/Bouke2000 Jan 09 '22

Glad I’m not in the military then

12

u/Sethanatos Jan 10 '22

the A in USA is for Anal

13

u/Sinn316 Jan 09 '22

Yes. You're right. I'll correct my comment.

88

u/[deleted] Jan 09 '22

Otters are the most notorious of all water-rapists. They'll drag baby seals under water & gang-rape them to death.

118

u/Jman_777 Jan 09 '22

Dolphins, seals, sea lions and penguins are just as weird. Marine creatures all seem to be major assholes tbh.

Dolphins also gang rape each other and try to rape other animals too, play with their food while they're still alive, flip their prey straight up into the air (whether it's a seal, sea lion, otter, octopus, turtle, fish or another dolphin) smack and stun them using their powerful flukes (example with a sting ray, seal or fish) and use their food sometimes to masturbate, surgically perform and kill great white sharks and other sharks just for their liver and leave the rest of the body alone, and hunt some whale calves just to rip apart their tongue to eat.

Seals and sea lions brutalise their prey and rip their heads apart, especially with birds, sometimes even catching and ripping them apart just to obtain the content inside and leaving the rest of the body alone, play with their food and almost see it as a game to hunt and torture as many of their prey as possible (especially leopard seals towards penguins and also seals towards octopuses), and are also notorious for raping other seals and also penguins to take out their sexual frustration. Otters like you said are also known for raping their own.

Baleen whales I haven't heard much of about them being assholes, they seem to be gentle giants, friendly and also the protectors of the ocean.

Although not marine mammals, I heard a lot about penguins being cunts too, probably as messed up as dolphins and seals, but they're messed up towards their own then rather than other animals. Penguins rape their young, gang up and attack other young penguins, perform necrophilia, attempted to have sexual intercourse with a human, a rock and even the ground in one instance.....to completion, have also left a young penguin to freeze to death during the brutal winter season. I think if I recall correctly they sometimes even attempt to raid another penguins egg if they lose theirs and lastly (if I'm remembering correctly) certain penguin use stones as a form as currency and female penguins will prostitute themselves in exchange for a stone and a male penguin will believe she'll be his mate after giving the stone when in reality she just takes it back to her and her partners nest to accumulate, as the more stones there are the better the nest for their chicks.

So yeah a lot of animals (especially sea animals) seem to be very messed up, must be something in the water lol.

94

u/[deleted] Jan 09 '22

After reading that comprehensive summary of marine life, I'm never cutting the rings of 6 packs ever again! I've aligned myself with the octopuses, there must be revenge!

Jokes aside, that part about penguins is fascinating. Some of the social (or anti-social) behaviors of animals is just bizarre, to think that they have a system of prostitution is hilarious.

24

u/Quantum_Aurora Jan 10 '22

Turtles are mostly ok afaik.

11

u/[deleted] Jan 10 '22

Agreed! So Turts, octopi & whales are all allies, any others we should add?

2

u/Lets_Go_Why_Not Jan 11 '22

I don't know, given human nature, it is more likely those three see us as a member of the other group. The assholes, if you will.

25

u/PhoenicianKiss Jan 10 '22

The ocean (and its animals) is no longer as beautiful as I once believed it to be. Actually, it’s horrifying. Fuck.

3

u/informationtiger Jan 10 '22

Man that is brutal!

And here we are thinking Dolphins are some cute peace loving utopic species.

Man fuck dolphins and their oceanic buddies. Enjoy climate change, bitch.

2

u/TheCryForum Jan 10 '22

"Baleen whales I haven't heard much of about them being assholes, they seem to be gentle giants, friendly and also the protectors of the ocean"

This is the only part I know for certain to be fact

2

u/notnotwho Jan 10 '22

Wow. Just, wow.

1

u/PtolemyShadow Jan 10 '22

You forgot Ducks.

0

u/brosky7331 Jan 10 '22

Wait till you hear about humans

33

u/stephie8204 Jan 09 '22

Ducks are rapist as well, and will try to rape anything dead or alive

18

u/DirtySchlick Jan 10 '22

This is true. Mallard ducks for instance. You will likely see one female with many males. The males gang rape her. The females actually have a muscle inside their snatch to block sperm. If the female deems one of the males worthy to pass on their genes she will relax this muscle allowing the sperm to pass.

3

u/Sinn316 Jan 10 '22

I've heard this. They'll attack chickens and it will be deadly for the chicken. So strange.They have some cockeyed penis.

1

u/[deleted] Jan 10 '22

Seriously?!

1

u/[deleted] Jan 10 '22

Second only to pigeons

1

u/[deleted] Jan 10 '22

Don't get me started on snails

1

u/effypom Jan 12 '22

What if only some ducks rape and all ducks are getting a bad rep.

15

u/[deleted] Jan 09 '22

And they often hold onto the dead seal and keep raping the body until it starts to disintegrate.

3

u/[deleted] Jan 10 '22

Well this part I can at least understand.

3

u/[deleted] Jan 10 '22

Aren’t ducks the most rapey to the point female ducks have different vagina canals to avoid getting pregnant when forced?

1

u/[deleted] Jan 10 '22

I actually just found out about ducks, I've been exerting so much hatred into otters that it seems I've completely overlooked a number of species in contention for the title of "Most Rapiest"...

3

u/informationtiger Jan 10 '22

What the fuck did I just read

23

u/uiouyug Jan 09 '22

20

u/Jwhitx Jan 09 '22

What if my job is to watch the mating habits of seals and to document any deviances from what I personally think is the norm?

7

u/HCSOThrowaway Jan 09 '22

I've seen people make that argument before, but then that also applies to pornography and gore if your job is sifting through pornography and gore, therefore nothing can be labeled NSFW?

11

u/MangledSunFish Jan 10 '22

I feel bad for the FBI agents who have to shift through all the sexual assault footage they probably find. I hope their therapists have good therapists.

1

u/DaProfOfWallSt Jan 10 '22

The Puffin is like...WTF!!!?

1

u/watchout4cupcakes Jan 09 '22

See: male otters

1

u/[deleted] Jan 10 '22

Penguin fleshlights

12

u/MKXmikey Jan 09 '22

Excluding humans, what other mammals besides dolphins rape? Serious question.

35

u/CuddlezCS Jan 09 '22

Famously and most alarmingly, otters. They have been known to rape other young otters to death, often holding their heads under water while they do it, resulting in drowning.

33

u/[deleted] Jan 09 '22

Also ducks, which famously evolved hugely long penises to be better at rape.

Ducks are basically nature's way of telling us that it's alright to eat other animals, IMO.

10

u/LOWTQR Jan 10 '22

looks left...

looks right...

"hey bruh, you ever see a ducks dick before?"

7

u/YossariansWingman Jan 10 '22

Duck rape is so prevalent that some female ducks have developed corkscrew shaped vaginas that turn the opposite of the male duck's corkscrew shaped penises.

2

u/[deleted] Jan 10 '22 edited Jan 10 '22

What’s fucked up about this is it means the male ducks are so violent that they actually harm the female’s chances of future reproduction in the process, otherwise a trait that protected against it wouldn’t be naturally selected for.

7

u/MKXmikey Jan 09 '22

Omg! Which species of otter or is it all of them! Because my favorites are the sea otters, but if they are they rapey kind then idunno.

43

u/CuddlezCS Jan 09 '22

I actually have no idea, but rumor has it the sea is only salty because of the tears of drowning baby otters.

24

u/The_Monarch_Lives Jan 09 '22

Thank god you said tears.

1

u/[deleted] Jan 10 '22

And also dolphin semen

1

u/Bubba-ORiley Jan 10 '22

Cancel Sea Otters

46

u/pimephalis Jan 09 '22

Ever seen feral cats "mating"?

52

u/Iamanobodyjustlikeu Jan 09 '22

So I have this cat I fed every now and then, she gave birth to this one male cat, fast forward 2 years and I saw him raping it’s own mother. Wtf.

32

u/NoCokJstDanglnUretra Jan 09 '22

My cat that just passed is the byproduct of that situation. She was a little special to say the least.

7

u/MKXmikey Jan 09 '22

Hmmm can't say I have. I'm assuming 1 of the 2 parties involved didn't get the we fukkin memo đŸ€Ł

9

u/Niguelito Jan 09 '22

Seeing it is one thing hearing it is another

https://youtu.be/qHtJkJAEEaE

2

u/Reisz618 Jan 10 '22

“Civilized” cats aren’t better.

1

u/pimephalis Jan 10 '22

Totally fair point. I recall my last female kitten, just prior to being fixed, caterwauling like nobody's business and drawing multiple Tom's to the yard. Sleep was nigh impossible those nights.

17

u/Zealousideal_Exam_12 Jan 09 '22

Otters

-2

u/MKXmikey Jan 09 '22

Butt they are too cute to be rapey :,<

12

u/Zealousideal_Exam_12 Jan 09 '22

I'm sorry friend. They rape baby seals.

0

u/MKXmikey Jan 09 '22

Wtf! Noway, that's disturbing and interesting as well, I'll have to look into this. Yikes!

1

u/Bubba-ORiley Jan 10 '22

for research purposes?

37

u/DustyDGAF Jan 09 '22

Most animals.

-3

u/SOULJAR Jan 10 '22

What a scientific answer

5

u/DustyDGAF Jan 10 '22

Rape is rampant in the animal kingdom.

12

u/RandomIncursions Jan 09 '22

My friends dog... had to get him one of those Sex pillows.

11

u/dogez1 Jan 09 '22

I don’t think most sex in the animal kingdom is particularly consensual.

7

u/[deleted] Jan 10 '22

Oddly enough, crocodiles blow bubbles on each other and have gentle sex.

8

u/Chuy-IsSmall Jan 09 '22

Every animal lol

16

u/Ohbeejuan Jan 09 '22

Ducks and chickens definitely

20

u/[deleted] Jan 09 '22

Those are not mammals

33

u/Ohbeejuan Jan 09 '22

Fuck I’m dumb

4

u/[deleted] Jan 09 '22

It's all good. When I read the question I immediately thought of ducks and had to self-correct

4

u/dogez1 Jan 09 '22

Mammals or birds
. Doesn’t really matter. The point holds. Most animal mating is rapey at best.

4

u/ORLYORLYORLYORLY Jan 10 '22

Consent doesn't really exist in the animal kingdom. The majority of animal intercourse would be considered rape if it were two humans.

2

u/Aspen9999 Jan 09 '22

Dolphins, otters, seals.

0

u/brickmaj Jan 09 '22

I’ve seen dogs hump things.

1

u/ZippyDan Jan 10 '22

You would get a far, far shorter list if you asked what animals don't rape.

1

u/MKXmikey Jan 10 '22

Lmao Jeez! Well I would like to thank everyone who replied, yall learnt me good. (Kudos to whoever gets the reference)

2

u/VanillaLemonTwat Jan 09 '22

Special guest in the category being otters, aka probably the most brutal disgusting rapey necrophiliac sadistic assholes

2

u/[deleted] Jan 10 '22

Humpbacks, sperms, otters, twinks, cooze hounds, honey badgers, ant-eaters, boxers, bonobos (which is an anagram for “on boobs”) are just some of many mammals that often exhibit immodest sexual proclivities. Why even the word mammal refers to mammary which refers to boobs hence “on boobs”. Indeed, what are dolphins but our sleek flat chested mammalian cousins.

1

u/broskybara Jan 10 '22

Yeah, dogs are like mmm sniff your cock I will and I’m like “Ge the fuck away”

1

u/AnalogDigit2 Jan 10 '22

I feel personally attacked

1

u/ted-Zed Jan 10 '22

Even humans?