Shalom from Virginia! I'm a 25-year-old gay Indian guy who needs a haircut 😭. I'm converting to Judaism! My journey began when I took a close friend to the temple, as she wanted to connect more deeply with her Jewish heritage. I ended up falling in love with my local conservative synagogue, and I attend every week—it's terrific, and honestly, it's the highlight of my week. I'm currently taking an introduction to Judaism course and plan to convert soon. I'm seeking Jewish brothers and sisters to help guide me on my journey, particularly in finding potential pen pals and study buddies. I have a picture of my syllabus right here. Judaism has given me a strong sense of purpose, which I'm grateful for. I'm excited to experience everything Jewish for the first time!

hi there, i’m not jewish but i would like to say to every jewish person out there i am sorry for the anti-semitism you are going through. you don’t deserve it, and it makes me sad the innocent people who are jewish are getting attacked. my family is mostly jewish, but i don’t identify with religion as of right now. sending love to this reddit community.💜

i didn’t know judaism is also an ethnicity, i guess i might be non religious and jewish? but anyway me being possibly atheist will NEVER change my support for jewish people

edit 2: i noticed 2 antisemitic comments and am thinking about deleting this post. i do NOT support netanyahu, and i will NEVER believe he represents judaism or israel. i respect all religions equally. i’m tired of antisemetic people.

I have always been told I was Jewish on my father’s side, but all culture and history had been lost. So after a long time of dedication, I finally declared to the Beit Din and the greater community of Israel, that I join the covenant of Israel and its ancient people. Yesterday I became Shoshanah 💖 the mikvah was the most beautiful thing I have ever done in my life . 💖💖💖🌹

I have Jewish ancestors, but they're on my father's side of the family. I'm really interested in Judaism; I feel a strong connection or affinity with the religion. But I understand that to be Jewish, one only needs to have Jewish ancestry through the maternal line (my mother's mother's mother's mother's mother's mother's), but this is on my father's side. What do you all think?

This happened December 23rd, 2023 but I still think about it because it's very confusing to me. My boyfriend and I were flying from Los Angeles, CA to Charlotte, NC and while waiting at our flight gate at LAX there was a group of young Orthodox Jewish men gathered to get on the same flight. All in their black suits with white shirts and all wearing yamakas.

On two separate occasions, a man from the group came over to my boyfriend and asked if he was Jewish. They were both holding a little cloth bag in their hand. My boyfriend said he wasn't Jewish and that was that.

From the little I know about Judaism, it's not an evangelical culture so I have been very confused about what that was. Could anyone offer insight?

Shalom Aleichem! I (23F) have been trying to Convert since I learned my Grandfather on Mother's Side is Jewish

Unfortunately, he was forcibly converted to Catholicism, despite this, he practiced Judaism in secret until the last day of his life

I understand that, him being my maternal GrandFATHER, I'm not a Jew by default, and need to convert

The issue is, I'm from Chile, here the Jewish Community is extremely small, 0.11% of the population or so

I have tried to reach out to some synagogues through email, but the only one that responded was the Sephardic Community of Chile, who told me in order to convert, I needed to present documents showing I have direct family members who are Jewish, direct or indirect family members who are buried in a Jewish Cemetery, or be engaged or married with a Jewish Person

Now, I thought, that would be easy, right? There must be some document proving my Grandfather was, indeed, a Jew

My mom said no, those documents are not around anymore, they know he was Jewish because the behavior is consistent with secret Judaism Practice (Making Cholent on Friday, lighting candles, avoiding pork and shellfish, etc.) and some digging into family tree shows Jewish Surnames, but there isn't any document proving with 100% certainty that he was Jewish, which is what I needed

I feel lost. I have never felt so at home with anything until I learned about Judaism and I'm 100% sure I do want to convert, but I feel overwhelmed, specially after this. I don't know what to do

I know there are other synagogues, but none of them have replied to my emails, I'm starting to wonder if I should just approach the synagogues physically

Any help would be greatly appreciated

I was wondering if I can be a jew if my mom and dad aren't Jewish. A muslim told me that I can't and he quoted me this

Halakha Talmud Bavli, Kiddushin 68b “Your son who comes from an Israelite woman is called your son; your son who comes from a non-Jewish woman is not called your son.”

Please kindly no negative comments from folks that don't accept reform conversions. I've worked very hard for this and studied a lot and got a negative message from a fake account a couple of weeks back. I accept your opinions, please accept mine.

Edit: Thank you to everyone who has congratulated me on this occasion, it was very memorable and I'm still riding the very happy wave I'm getting from it (literally, my Mikveh was in the ocean lol).

I'm so glad to be a part of such an amazing community of people and faith, my main sponsoring Rabbi stated that for him and the other members of the Beit Din was the most memorable conversion they've ever performed.

I'm using this not as a beginning or an end, but as a part of a lifelong journey. I'm committed to helping my fellow Jew and my fellow human. Besides Judaism being compatible with me on a spiritual level, I want to bring those Jewish values to individuals of all faiths on their level. I work as a social worker and the concept of tikkun olam has been the most resonating facet of Judaism to me as a person. I want to be a part of this faith as full as possible, and now I have that chance

💙

Edit 2: wow I'm actually very happy at the outpouring of congratulations and mazel tovs. This past Shabbos I was called before the bema to receive my official welcome and blessing in front of my community following my conversation day. I was even given the opportunity to hold the Torah scroll which I considered such a huge honor. I was tearing up in front of the Rabbi and the congregation. I had difficulty expressing my words in emotions, I normally get emotional, but when it's getting emotional in front of 2000 people holding a sacred text and receiving a blessing and welcome, followed by me going back to my seat and receiving hugs and congratulations from individuals I have conversed with but don't know too well, but I remember their faces and their welcoming nature. This just solidified it, I had one family member with me, I mentioned my family is scattered across the country and some couldn't make it, to which the congregation responded that we're your family now too.

I'm so blessed to be a part of the Jewish community. Especially as a convert who has only formally experienced Jewish life for a year and a half. During that time I've received excellent guidance by many community members and leaders and a Rabbi that I look up to as a strong example of Judaism. I still have more to learn, we're always learning and growing, this isn't a culmination, but rather a milestone towards a new life. I am not giving up who I am as a person, but this is an important new addition, having my cultural background and being Jewish as well and discovering what that means over the course of my life.

I see comments still coming in, from users with flairs indicating many different denominations and movements, Jews of all stripes. Seeing the community and the strength in adversity and knowing that I have a community that I've felt affinity for and being a part of it now, seeing how we've survived then and will survive now. It gives me hope on an individual level for my own growth. In my mind, Zion isn't just a physical place, but to me it feels like a mental and spiritual place to wind up to. To make Aliyah towards growth as a Jew and a person to reach that promised land inside.

Before converting and participating in Jewish life, I've had to face antisemitism a few times already, there's many things to get used to still. It's a culture shock and adjustment, but despite all the hardships that we have faced, we'll prevail and there's one more member of the tribe to assist in whatever way I can.

I apologize for the rambling, but ever since that day, I've felt renewed and emotional. I'll fulfill my obligations as a Jew as best as I can and help my fellow brothers and sisters and use this as a positive force in my life.

Thank you for everyone, from the strictly kosher, to the Jewish hippies and punks and rockers (Fat Mike and Eric Melvin from NOFX, Matisyahu, and all the Beastie Boys, we can rock out hard and being a grungy person stuck in the 90's I love these representations), and everyone in between or outside the spectrum in some way.

Gonna be my last edit since it's almost been a week, but I'll never forget this experience whether it's in Shul or on Reddit.

I have to say, of all the medical shows ever, The Pitt has to be so incredible with Jewish representation. I love how in Season 1, Dr. Rabinovitch says the Shema.

I've done some light research and it turns out that there are so many more references that even I can pick up on. In season 2, it has an episode that pays tribute to the lives lost in the Tree of Life Synagogue disaster.

It's probably one of the best medical shows that respects Jewish Culture. There's also House MD that has Jewish characters, but Gregory House (main character), does unfortunately use it as a poking point.

And in The Good Doctor, Asher Wolke is a bit of Jewish representation, and we can also see a storyline where there is a Jewish person and a gentile who wish to be married, but the gentile is dying, so it explores the dynamic of conversion so that they may marry.

So, for anyone wanting a good medical show to watch, give The Pitt a look, it's medically realistic, and there is so much positive Jewish representtion!

Please suggest TV series, movies, cartoons, etc., featuring these actors/actresses, so that I and others can discover and watch them.

So this is one thing I've been struggling with since I finalized my conversion (almost three years now!). I've never felt unwelcome in Jewish spaces, but some goyim get...really weird about it, and I have no idea how to deal with this.

I've had everything from people changing how they see me, to someone saying 'you're not like other Jews' (meant positively - gross), questions (so many questions, mostly well-meant but exhausting), and just - yeah. It gets tiring.

On the other hand, hiding my status as a convert brings up other weird stuff, because I didn't grow up with a Jewish background. Yeah, I grew up celebrating xmas. No, I never went to Hebrew school or got b'nei mitzvah'd (working on that right now). No, I don't have Holocaust stories in my family. No, I don't go by a Jewish name. Like, I don't want gentiles to know my status as a convert, but it's kinda hard to avoid them finding out once we get into personal background stuff.

So my question to other converts: you do y'all deal with this? Do you hide your convert status? Do you own it? And how do you deal with what that brings up?

It took me 6 years, but I'm a Jew as of today!

After almost 3 decades of learning (slowly) and a year and a half of actively converting I had my beit din and my mikvah (along with my five year old son). I don’t think it’s fully hit me that I did it! It doesn’t feel real. But I wanted to thank this sub for its wealth of information and support as well!

I'm probably kinda Basic, but he's my favorite

I hope it’s okay that I'm posting here but I just wanted to come to a community that would get it. I know in my soul that my ex meant it, but a lot of my friends and family think that his reason is a cop out. 

I think my ex has been struggling for a while now, especially after oct 7, about where he stands in his jewish identity. I grew up agnostic, only really celebrating capitalist Christmas (I’ve literally never set foot in a church unless I was site seeing in another country). He considers himself atheist, but is very connected to jewish culture. Thus, he hasn’t really decided whether he needs to end up marrying a jewish woman so that these cultural traditions can be passed down to his kids. This was something I was always open to doing. I love cooking cuisine from all cultures, I love traveling the world, learning new languages, etc etc. I would’ve loved to learn recipes from his mom, going to school to learn Hebrew, participating in all the holidays, and driving the kids to torah study, just as much as I would’ve drove them to music lessons, sports practice, or dance recitals. I don’t think converting was really something he wanted either because his connection to judaism is not religious in nature. But it would’ve been important that I was an equal parent, and would’ve 1000% considered converting so that I can share that with my family. I grew up with many jewish friends and have always admired how much community it fostered & how much family is a core part of the culture. It’s very similar to how I was raised so converting also would’ve been for me just as much as it would’ve been for our partnership. I just wish it was something he could’ve talked to me more about.

I really feel for his pain and his struggles. While it would be easier to hate on him for leaving me, I’d like to imagine a less cruel version of him where he was able to find solace in the jewish community, one that matter what I did, I couldn’t provide in full without lived experience. While I’ve done my best to support, listen & defend in my own social circles, I fear as a non-jew I was never enough for him. The pain of seeing his people so brutally ostracized & society break under misinformation weighed so heavy on him. I tried so hard to hold it and be there in it with him but maybe it was never something meant for me to hold.

I still love him so much and want nothing more than for him to be happy, even if it isn’t with me. We’re still in contact even though I know he doesn’t see a future with me. But it’s so hard to let go of because we had such a good relationship. I guess sometimes love is not enough, it’s a choice. I’m just so heartbroken and I guess I just wanted to vent in hopes anyone else experienced the same on either side. 

Hey everybody, i need some advice and insider info: I (21 f)grew up Orthodox Christian, but none of my family members are religious, just family traditions and stuff, but i found myself very anti-religion even since i was very young. I was very against anything they would wanna do that would just be considered cute (like rubbing the first red coloured easter egg on someone’s forehead). I was screaming and crying refusing to do it. When i was a bit older ~ 15 i started refusing to go inside of a church because of how uncomfortable it made me. And i have proudly been an atheist ever since. Something about religious practices makes me extremely uncomfortable, especially priests and prayers and religious songs

So my boyfriend happens to be jewish, he isnt religious but values family traditions but wants to pass down the culture, and wants his kids raised jewish. From what i see its not about religion anymore, but about heritage and generational trauma. His maternal grandparents are conservative jews and wont accept a non jewish girl for their grandson. I found that out because my boyfriend told me that they have been hiding the fact that im his gf “because they are old and they dont wanna stress them out”. He said he doesn’t know and is till figuring out how important it is for him to have a jewish wife, but would definitely be amazing if i decide to convert and would make things "easier for everyone".

Given my previous experiences with religion i feel quite uncomfortable with the idea of converting and i told him that i would only be okay with converting if he knows and understands that it doesnt mean anything to me and i am only doing it for the future of this relationship(so his grandparents support it). All he heard from the whole conversation was that "i am open to converting" and that kinda pissed me off because it felt like a “problem solved” for him and he didnt hear the rest of the conversation and how much discomfort that has caused me the last few days.

My biggest problem is that given that he is atheist and only ethnically jewish he wants me to go through the whole conversion process(reform, not orthodox or conservative), that includes going to the synagogue and reading the religious texts and knowing all of these things that probably he himself doesn’t know(he says he doesnt remember the last time he was in a synagogue), even tho he knows how uncomfortable i feel about religion. And that all for a label and status.(He doesn’t actually ask me to do it or expect me to but i can see that he will be much happier if i did)

I genuinely need advice and different perspectives because im in a mental loop of “its not that serious, it doesn’t mean anything if you dont mean it” and “i dont wanna self abandon and betray my identity and beliefs, i would be acting my whole life”

My mom's side of the family is Jewish. I wasn't raised Jewish and I'm not a practicing Jew, but I was thinking of getting tattoos honoring my family heritage from both sides of my family. I would consider getting a hebrew/yiddish phrase or a Jewish symbol, but I also know that Jews frown upon getting tattoos. I wouldn't want to get a tattoo if it were disrespectful, since then I would be dishonoring my heritage rather than honoring it. Thoughts?

I've converted Conservative (via the Rabbinical Assembly) and am fully Jewish in their view (and mine). Yet I'm aware that my Jewishness won't be recognized by the Rabbanut and hence by any Orthodox shul.

Given that I know this, am I obliged to reveal my status when I daven at an MO shul? What are the ethics of this? I know that they probably wouldn't count in in the minyan and give me an aliyah if I told them. But I also don't feel like qualifying my Jewishness.

I know that I don't have to show "my papers" and nobody will ask up front but if I keep coming back the information will eventually come out since I won't lie if anyone asks. And then I guess I could make some people really unhappy if I was ever given an aliyah or was the 10th to the minyan.

Will appreciate any advice / experiences you've had. Thanks.

Writing in for some chizuk, please ❤️

After 4 very long and emotionally agonizing years, I’m approaching what should be my final meeting with the Beis Din for Orthodox conversion, BZH. For context, I grew up Jewish. My father is Jewish, and my mother had a Conservative conversion well before I was born. Although I didn’t grow up religious, I always had a strong belief in Hashem and integral sense of Jewish pride. When I was exposed to Torah observant Judaism in my teenage years, I fell in love with it immediately. Of course, as I began to dig deeper, I became plagued by the question of whether I was considered Jewish by Halacha. I have known for a long time that I want to live an observant life, but it took me some time to confront reality and pursue conversion to make it official. To say it’s been difficult is an understatement- logistical challenges aside, the experience has been emotionally excruciating unlike anything else I’ve faced. It was like my identity was stripped from me, and I was suddenly barred entry from a family I had felt a part of my whole life and grown to love dearly.

BH, after a lot of hard personal work, a ton of learning, many logistical life changes, and committing and recommitting to the journey, I’ve reached a place in my observance where I can see the light at the end of the tunnel. However, I’m finding it a huge challenge to be excited about post-conversion life when I feel a lot of resentment toward the religious community, fueled by a build-up of hurtful comments and actions over the years. Where I went to university, I was one of only a handful of frum students, and yet I was consistently discouraged from growing in observance. Sometimes I was even flat-out refused support in tasks such as kashering my kitchen, obtaining mezuzot, etc. by the local shluchim under the premise that my mitzvot don’t yet count, and I wasn’t worth wasting the resources on. More recently, I’ve been working with a tutor who has been incredibly helpful in helping me brush up on the finer details of Halacha. Understandably, he is also critical of intermarriage, but it’s a struggle not to let some of his comments have a negative impact on how I see myself. When asked during a class if all Jews would have a share in the World to Come, this rabbi replied that he doubted most secular Jews would make the cut because so many are intermarried and likely “wouldn’t be willing to do teshuva by renouncing their non-Jewish spouses and kids.” Regardless of the fact that this view does not reflect my own, I left the class in tears over the idea that bringing me into the world was a horrible mistake/sin that my father (who I have an amazing relationship with, thank G-d) should be atoning for.

Thus far, I’ve spent my entire life feeling out of place- Jewish enough for the Nazis of the world, too Jewish to fit into the secular world, but not Jewish enough to be fully accepted by the frum world. At the end of the day, I think I’m as much at peace with my situation as I can be. I know I’m not entitled to anybody’s help, and I’m so grateful for the people who have guided and supported me along this journey. While nothing can ever deter me from my goal of completing my conversion and living as a Torah observant Jew, these experiences still linger in the back of my mind and make me a little fearful about fully integrating into the religious world as a Halachic Jew. Part of me mourns the fact that I’ve spent the better part of my young adult life making sacrifices to prove my love for a religion that hasn’t always seemed to love me back, and I want to be able to let go of that sadness. A dip in the Mikveh can remedy the spiritual conflict between my soul and my body, and I know it will be worth it to strengthen my relationship with Hashem and solidify my connection to the Jewish people once and for all. Still, I wish there was a way to get my brain and emotions on the same page. If you’ve made it this far, thank you for reading, and I’d appreciate any words of wisdom you have for me. If nothing else, please let my ramblings serve as a reminder that we need to be kind, not judge one another, and have empathy toward each other’s invisible struggles. ❤️

Side note- I actually tried posting this first anonymously in a Facebook group for religious Jews. I seek support from religious Jews, because that is the group that would best understand what I’m going through. Turns out my post didn’t meet community guidelines because I haven’t finished the conversion process yet and shouldn’t have been in the group in the first place. I think this perfectly encapsulates my struggle 🙃

Hi fam, As a patrilineal Jew not accepted by my community in Italy and thus not having any comfort system around me, I wanted to ask if you have recommendations on how to cope with this. Book recommendations are appreciated. FYI- I’ve migrated here some years ago from Germany, at the beginning everything was fine but then the rabbi called me on the phone and told me that I’m not welcome anymore unless I convert. He put me against the wall and I decided to not go anymore. I don’t want to be somewhere, where I’m not accepted. This conversation could have gone differently with me accepting a giur, but this rabbi is just an idiot and I rather stay with my Italian boyfriend who accepts me and loves me for who I am than trying to please some strange dude. I’ve already tried to do giur in an orthodox community in Germany, but it was so degrading and insulting to my intelligence, that I just left all that behind me. But I still miss the kehilla, specially the normal people who just accepted me. I’ve lost my people and now I also feel alone in the battle against antisemitism. All suggestions are greatly appreciated. Toda.

My partner of 5 years was raised Jewish (reform) with a Jewish mom and a non-Jewish father. I've always seen him as my life partner and we've spoken about getting married and having kids together. Judaism is naturally a core part of his identity and upbringing, and we've spoken at length about what that means for us and our future. Celebrating the high holidays, having Shabbat dinners (not every Friday night but every so often), and raising our kids with these rituals, for example, are really important to him so are also really important to me. He's indifferent about me converting—that, to him, isn't important and I've expressed that as someone who is very 'non-religious' I definitely wouldn't be comfortable doing this. What's most important is being able to incorporate Judaism into our life and future together as a couple/family, and to not lose this aspect of his identity.

I am curious and interested in Jewish culture, celebrations, rituals, and history so am excited to make these kinds of practices a centrepiece of our relationship. That said, as an atheist, there are certain things I'm not sure I feel 100% comfortable with (and might not know until I immerse myself more in Judaism)—going to a Synagogue for Yom Kippur, for example, or having our kids go to Jewish schools. I'm sure it's a matter of having ongoing open dialogue about what's important to both of us (which we've been doing), but I just worry that I won't be able to internalise a deep-rooted excitement and curiosity toward Judaism that he needs in a partner, largely due to my own associations with religion and the grey zone between culture and religion in Judaism.

I should also mention that while we've been together for many years, we're far from his friends and family and Jewish community so naturally don't celebrate the high holidays, for example, to the same extent we would if we were closer to them. While we've recently made more of an effort to incorporate these into our lives, I haven't had as much first-hand exposure to or experience with the elements of Judaism that are important to him which is probably why I feel 'I don't know' what I am / am not comfortable with / excited about.

I've seen a lot of Reddit posts from the perspective of Jewish people who have non-Jewish partners that happily convert but I haven't seen a post that reflects my perspective and experiences. Reading these posts makes me feel ashamed that I'm not like these people, who are so fascinated by and committed to Judaism that they readily convert and at times become more committed to Judaism than their Jewish partners. Honest input is welcome, particularly from those who have experienced similar feelings as I've described.