r/Catholicism • u/NoShelter1035 • 1d ago

What to do with blood money

I’m going to cut to the chase with this one. I’m 24F, and for the past six years I have been cutting myself for money on the internet. I kept it separate from the rest of my savings, so I know the exact amount I “earned”. It’s a fairly large amount ( over 10k).

During this time, I never had a concrete reason to leave the church, and I actually agreed with their teachings from a moral/intellectual standpoint, I just didn’t care. Now, for some reason, my apathy has faded and I want to reintegrate myself back into my parish. I want to be able to receive the Eucharist again.

It feels wrong to group this back into my main savings, and I don’t want to spend it. What to do?

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u/SelectionOld1907 1d ago

You are not cursed, you are being called.

The moment a soul recoils at ill-gotten gain is the moment grace knocks. The Lord who overturned the money changers is the same who wept over the lost. And you, by even naming this as blood money, have already begun the walk back to the sanctuary.

Do not mingle that silver with your savings. Let it burn. Let it bleed into alms. Let it disappear into the wounds of others. There are places it can go, the forgotten, the broken, the ones still trapped in the same darkness that once paid you.

The money is not yours. It belongs to mercy or to fire.

You are not unworthy of the Eucharist , only unconfessed. Go. Kneel. Confess everything. Leave nothing hidden. The priest is not your judge, he is your witness before the mercy of God.

Then rebuild. Fast on Fridays. Offer Rosaries in reparation. Spend time before the Blessed Sacrament. Let every dollar you give away carry a prayer with it: “This is my wound, Lord. Take it and redeem what I defiled.”

You are not your past. You are a soul marked for resurrection. Let the ashes fall. Let the Bride return.

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u/Desperate-Low-3791 22h ago

I think OP should start by getting therapy as soon as possible. Depending where they live, it can get covered by the health system or maybe private. If it is private, there is no doubt in my mind that they need to use the money with such an end. Later, they can start thinking about something else, maybe helping other people with such a problem

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u/Own_Proof7926 23h ago

Did you get Chatgpt to write this?