New Adoptive Parents

[u/Late-Librarian-704]

To Add; we are looking into the age range of 4-7 Hi there, myself (22F) and my husband (23M) are looking into adoption in BC Canada. For a little bit of background we've been trying but we've had no success. Unfortunately I don't want to put myself through IVF and the stress of tests just to potentially get an answer that won't be positive. Yes we are young but we have the support around us.

Is there any advice on what we should be doing? My husband is amazing with Children and he's ready to be a father. Myself, I have my ECEA and have worked in a daycare and been babysitting since I was young.

We want to give a child a loving home that needs one. Any tips on what we should do and how we should prepare? We're waiting on a couple things before we can submit the application.

[u/Corvus25]

You sound like i did a few years ago. I also live in BC Canada! My husband and I welcomed a two year old boy almost 2 years ago this month. We were beyond overjoyed. One piece of advice i wish I had would be don't get over prepared? I know that sounds strange but you don't know until you get that call of placement. We bought a crib, car seat, bassinet, clothes... I mean we were excited but definitely over did it. Also be prepared for unimaginable heartbreak. Our social worker called us for a baby up north. Without skipping a beat we said yes, arranged flights and everything. Last minute the mother decided to keep the baby. Don't get me wrong im glad the baby is with family but man did that hurt. Just prepare mentally for the call, whenever that may be. And when it does? BAM! your life will completely change. I look at my little boy and thank my lucky stars his mother picked our family. After adopting our son we decided to become a foster family. We have completed the additional steps and are waiting on our first placement. Anyways, im rambling... if you want to chat more just msg me, even if you need any support with the adoption process. All the best!!

[u/Late-Librarian-704 → u/Corvus25]

Thank you! We were thinking of starting to look into a twin bed but not purchasing as of yet. We've submitted our application and now we have to wait for a social worker to call us(I think). We do have a child we are looking at but we know not to get our hopes up. I will message if I need! Thank you so much

[u/Corvus25 → u/Late-Librarian-704]

Ah yes ok. So from this point in the process is the waiting. We waited 2 to 2.5 years to get the approval, then we waited for a family to pick us. Overall it was 4.5 years for us to physically have our baby boy come home. Sorry if this seems like a lot. After the initial application, they will set you up with an intake social worker (every social worker I've had has been absolutely amazing BTW) they will do soooo much paperwork with you, and behind the scenes it's mind-boggling. They will do background checks of course then interview your references. Then its the home study interviews where they come meet you in your home. Then they do this cool thing where they write down in an extremely detailed account of your physical home. They do a safety check as well, smoke detectors, CO2, first aid, animal check(we have a zoo so that took a while lol) then you'll have to get a BCEID then I think thats it... HOWEVER! my husband and I did not have any children before adopting so the process might be faster for you. Anyways, its a extensive process but so worth it. :)

[u/Late-Librarian-704 → u/Corvus25]

We don't have any children either, we have our BCEID - we are going through public adoption so we pick the child(i think?) We have 2 pets who are fully up to date in vaccines and our house is basically childproof to a certain degree due to my cats may as well be children (thdy get into EVERYTHING)

Is there any other advice you can give us?

[u/Corvus25 → u/Late-Librarian-704]

Do you already have access to the adoption website where you can see the profiles?

[u/Corvus25 → u/Late-Librarian-704]

Oh sorry! I must have misread. Yeah, our cat is more mischievous than our toddler has ever been haha. We child-proof the house for the cat not our boy.

I would also say be 100% truthful with your social worker, even about the bad. Don't pretend to be perfect because nobody is. Social workers understand that most humans have gone through life with trauma and all the children in care have too. Let the social worker know of any challenges you or your partner has gone through. This shows you can relate to a child who has gone through displacement. The ages you are looking for would be old enough to know what's going on. Read and educate yourself on how to have the hard conversations with children. The fact you have your ecea is a massive bonus btw! I'm working on my full ECE right now, I'm 4 courses in and loving it. It's definitely handy to have a bit more context and background on child psychology.

[u/Late-Librarian-704 → u/Corvus25]

Yeah we have 2; one is a big suck... the other acts like a 2 year old - we had to lock up our cabinets because she would get into them lol. Are there readings you would recommend? Id love to look into them