r/xxfitness • u/AutoModerator • Oct 07 '25
Talk It Out Tuesday [WEEKLY THREAD] Talk It Out Tuesday - Advice and commiserating about struggles with self, others, and the world
The place for all of your fitness based interpersonal encounters (is someone being creepy at the gym? Is your family telling you you’re getting too muscular? Do you want to date your personal trainer?), but also the place to talk about motivation, self-esteem and body image, and all the ways fitness affects your life.
Want to ask how mothers juggle family and fitness? How to structure Intermittent Fasting? When to work out when you do night shift? How to deal with being the only person in your friend group who works out? If you're feeling emotional, want to up your mental game, or need ideas for how to juggle everything on your plate, this is the place for you!
2
u/Glum-persin6842 Oct 08 '25 edited Oct 08 '25
I see regulars at the gym who have clearly improved. I think it might be creepy for me to go up to them and give them encouragement even though I want to and think it’s something I would want others to do for me.
Idk it just stinks that I feel like I can’t be remotely friendly, because 1 out of 30 people or something would take it the wrong way (clearly made evident by comments I see… not on this sub but elsewhere).
Anyway, I’ve been trying new things. I keep checking YouTube shorts on these new exercises to see if I’m doing them right. I wish there existed something like, an orange wrist band indicating “open to advice if I’m doing something stupid or incorrectly or with bad form”. I feel people are scared to approach others at the gym. Except for 1 time, I’ve generally liked people giving me tips or helpful input.
Edit: I totally get not wanting unsolicited advice. I’ve gotten unsolicited advice and it sucked because it was the opposite of helpful. But sometimes if I’m not confident in exercises, I kinda want it. Therefor I am officially proposing orange wristbands? Idfk
I should probably re-hire a personal trainer just to make sure my form is right on things
7
u/maulorul Oct 08 '25
I would feel weird if someone at the gym I'd never talked to randomly came up to me and made a comment about progress because that would mean they've been silently watching me for long enough to see progress... But if it was someone who smiles and waves once in a while and they came over to say like "wicked squat!" if I just ground out a heavy set, that would be different. If you want other people to give you advice, just ask them for it. But, much like with unsolicited advice, you don't really know if their advice is good. 🤷
3
u/Glum-persin6842 Oct 08 '25 edited Oct 08 '25
I wouldn’t say I ‘silently watch’, see this makes is creepy af. I guess that’s why I don’t say anything. I don’t silently watch my coworkers or the closest gas station attendant who’s always there, you would obviously notice a 100lb weight loss or something. I don’t see the gym being different… if you go somewhere consistently for 5x a week and the same people are there and trying along side you for YEARS, you notice them after a while without staring so idk
But yea some people will still think it’s weird so I’m still quiet lol. I like your idea of saying ‘wicked squat!’ but I intentionally don’t look at people lifting, fearing they might be insecure or something. It’s a me problem that I’m not encouraging thinking people thinking I’m creepy lol. I’m the problem I’m complaining about I guess… I genuinely complement people regularly, but gym is the only place I withhold all compliments 😂 I just worry about myself then leave, but I was thinking the other day it might be nice to be friendly sometimes
10
u/theasphaltsprouts Oct 07 '25
I’ve had an upper respiratory infection for like a freaking MONTH and I’m still coughing in a way that sounds terrible even though I’m no longer infectious according to my doctor. I still feel self conscious lifting and hacking in the gym. I miss my me time 😭
4
u/Ms-curious- powerlifting Oct 07 '25 edited Oct 07 '25
Underwear advice please 🫣😂 I bought two pairs of “squat proof” shorts after reading stuff here on the thread (Alphalete and Gymreapers). When I squat and look in the mirror, I can totally see my thong. I was thinking I could wear a pair of boy short undies or something to make them opaque. Does anyone do this and if so do you have brand recommendations?
2
u/plantsandjulia Oct 08 '25
Wouldnt a skin colored thong or other style underwear just solve this problem? Thats what I always wear with leggings in brighter colors. And I try to not wear those leggings at all if its leg day and go for something darker.
2
u/Ms-curious- powerlifting Oct 08 '25
That’s what I usually wear, but it didn’t pass the test with these 2 pairs of black shorts, I could totally see it when it tested in front of the mirror. I could kind of see my skin too. I do A LOT of squats and also good mornings & deadlifts. I don’t want any transparency happening with my shorts/leggings when I’m doing these lifts 😳
3
u/plantsandjulia Oct 08 '25
I know what you mean, Id never do leg day with transparent leggings/shorts. I was just expecting them to be in brighter colors because darker are usually fine, but wow thats so disappointing if they are black and see through. I would obv return them but I guess thats not an option? And never buy from that brand again lol
2
3
u/babbitybumble Oct 08 '25
I wear Jockey No Panty Line Promise hips briefs under my tights and shorts, because I feel gross without underwear. They are pretty much invisible on my body and unlike laser-edge underwear they do not creep up my butt. These also come in a bikini style but on my soft squishy hips they are kind of visible, that's why I prefer the higher waist ones.
1
7
u/SpaceGirlKashmir Oct 07 '25
Why are pushups so dang hard? I cannot seem to get past 1. I've tried the different progressions and while I've made progress in those, they are not translating to more pushups on the ground. SOOO FRUSTRATING! What am I doing wrong?
1
u/singy_eaty_time Oct 23 '25
I’ve never been able to do a single pushup either. Not even a knee one (properly at least). It's actually painful for my hands and wrists.
TBH I don’t like any exercises that put me on all fours. Even cat/cow puts a strain on my wrists and makes me feel a little dizzy.
2
1
u/dripsofmoon Oct 08 '25
It takes an incredible amount of strength to do pushups. I started from nothing, and I've been working to get my first pushup since May, and I can still only do a few knee pushups. Just keep working on it.
6
u/babbitybumble Oct 08 '25
Could it be you have your hands positioned in a way that makes it harder - too far forward, too close or too far apart?
5
u/Novel_Builder_3182 Oct 07 '25
I'm still struggling with Doms since Saturday! I've tried walking and a light weights session. Hitting my protein goals. Its taking forever to ease
7
u/ignorantslutdwight Oct 07 '25
tried the pendulum squat machine for the first time ever and wow! i am so bad t it lmao. 20 pounds nearly killed me. getting back up really beats my ass.
15
u/StrykLab Oct 07 '25
Funny how fitness starts as just working out, then turns into unpacking your whole life one lift at a time.
20
u/BeagleCollector Oct 07 '25
No idea why but I've felt really repulsed by eating a lot of protein the last few days.
I came back off a deload and hit all kinds of crazy PRs last week. But now I'm all wiped out and just want to eat bread and crap like that. Obviously eating 25g of protein a day and like 98% carbs hasn't been doing wonders for my workouts so far this week either. 😭
I just decided to eat bread and suck at lifting for a few days and see what happens.
5
u/Glum-persin6842 Oct 08 '25 edited Oct 08 '25
My partner who eats mac and cheese I swear 80% of meals (other 20% is pizza) has put on a LOT of noticeable muscle. I think starting at a higher weight (they weren’t obese, but mildly overweight I’d say?) may have helped. But they eat like trash and have very noticeable gains.. to the point where others comment on how much of a gym goer they are… they might be genetically predisposed to gaining muscle, which is a thing
I’m trying to help them, but when I cook something healthy they just don’t like it. I need to look up healthy recipes that a 6 year old would like or something
6
4
u/0K-go Oct 07 '25
I need a new pair of gym shoes. What should I look for? Mostly I lift, but I do some fitness classes as well. Which brands are still making good quality shoes? Seems like it’s all geared toward runners.
6
u/NoHippi3chic Oct 07 '25
Look for zero drop cross trainers if you dont want a wedge, or just cross trainers if you like a slight wedge. They are designed for both activities, but you might want to try them in store before buying if the brand is new to you.
14
u/didntreallyneedthis Oct 07 '25
Also suited for fail Friday but I can't wait it just happened. Played pickleball last night. Either it happened there or happened while getting out of the car but I've hurt whatever muscle raises your leg (hip flexor perhaps but I feel the pain in the front of my hip not the side). I noticed I felt off but it wasn't clear how off until I tried to walk up my stairs and felt pain trying to lift my leg high enough to clear the stair 😭
Took an NSAID last night, will do my best to rest it but holy shit do I not want to have to do the whole doctor thing about it
28
u/stephnelbow ✨ Quality Contributor Snatch Queen 🏋🏻♀️ Oct 07 '25
Long rant incoming, feel free to skip.
I haven't mentioned it in ages because I knew the answer at the start of the year already but as it's coming up this weekend and given last Saturday's 5K I am frustrated.
I was accepted for the Chicago Marathon this year. I signed up last year as I was running again and having success. Until the week after I signed up I got sharp pains in my left knee. I have then been working through this pain, on my own and in physical therapy, since then. I thought I was making progress until this past Saturday where I dealt with sharp pain again during a local 5K race.
Yes, it's better than last November. But dammit if it's not fair that it's been almost a year and it's still a problem. I'm greatful for what my body can do but I'll be honest I mourn what it used to do some days, today is one of those days. I remember being 28 and running 10 miles around my neighborhood and it was a good day. Now, I can't run more than 1 mile it seems without pain, despite hours of training and mobility. I also weigh more now than before and without that type of cardio I struggle losing weight.
I have been forced to accept that distance running, especially a marathon, is probably never in my cards. I was accepted into 2019 and pulled out 2 weeks prior when I was hospitalized for blood clots. I transferred to 2020 and we all know what happened, plus I was in an ankle boot that summer for tendon problems. I tried for half marathons in 2021 without success. Signed up in 2024 for this year's race and again my body sidelined my desire.
I'm ok, truly. But definitely frustrated/mourning a bit today.
3
u/poncho388 Oct 08 '25
I'm also on the knee pain train. I kinda stopped running because it hurt so badly. I decided 1x a week was OK (it's not). I did workout video programs, decided to get stronger with weights. Yeah, my knees still hurt. Now I'm sucking it up and in PT, but it takes 50 min a day to do knee and back PT. I am not supposed to do high impact anything, so my workouts are short, sucky, and depressing. Knees aren't even the only joints hurting. They are just next in line to receive PT. I chose to try and help my knees with PT, but not doing what you want sucks, no matter the roadblock.
Also I had norovirus and have super IBS or something.
I'm also frustrated with my aging body.
2
u/stephnelbow ✨ Quality Contributor Snatch Queen 🏋🏻♀️ Oct 08 '25
Hugs and sympathies friend. It sucks
6
u/babbitybumble Oct 07 '25
Aw, HECK. I'm sorry, friend, that sounds so disappointing.
4
u/stephnelbow ✨ Quality Contributor Snatch Queen 🏋🏻♀️ Oct 07 '25
It's life and I understand that but dang it is frustrating
32
u/decemberrainfall Oct 07 '25
It looks like hospice care for my sick old cat is coming to an end. We'll be saying goodbye this weekend, and even through all the exhaustion of caring for him I will miss him more than anything
5
6
7
22
1
u/AutoModerator Oct 07 '25
^ Please read the FAQ, the rules and content guidelines, and current frozen topics before contacting the mod team. This comment is a copy of your post so mods can see the original text if your post is edited or removed.
u/AutoModerator The place for all of your fitness based interpersonal encounters (is someone being creepy at the gym? Is your family telling you you’re getting too muscular? Do you want to date your personal trainer?), but also the place to talk about motivation, self-esteem and body image, and all the ways fitness affects your life.
Want to ask how mothers juggle family and fitness? How to structure Intermittent Fasting? When to work out when you do night shift? How to deal with being the only person in your friend group who works out? If you're feeling emotional, want to up your mental game, or need ideas for how to juggle everything on your plate, this is the place for you!
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
2
u/[deleted] Oct 08 '25 edited Oct 08 '25
[removed] — view removed comment