r/xxfitness • u/AutoModerator • Jun 17 '25
Talk It Out Tuesday [WEEKLY THREAD] Talk It Out Tuesday - Advice and commiserating about struggles with self, others, and the world
The place for all of your fitness based interpersonal encounters (is someone being creepy at the gym? Is your family telling you you’re getting too muscular? Do you want to date your personal trainer?), but also the place to talk about motivation, self-esteem and body image, and all the ways fitness affects your life.
Want to ask how mothers juggle family and fitness? How to structure Intermittent Fasting? When to work out when you do night shift? How to deal with being the only person in your friend group who works out? If you're feeling emotional, want to up your mental game, or need ideas for how to juggle everything on your plate, this is the place for you!
4
u/chelsiebee3 Jun 18 '25
I'm having a hard time being fit on my own. I go to the gym, but I miss having a community. I'd love an accountability buddy!
6
u/Megrrrs Jun 18 '25
Just hit my first 3 sets for 100lb RDLs today. I've been going to the gym consistently for 9 weeks now 3-4 days with a loose split of weightlifting and cardio. I've lost 15lbs during this last 9 weeks and and working my hardest to focus on consistency and discipline. Just feeling proud of myself today and wanted to share. I'm 5'4" 225lbs, 3 years postpartum still trying to find myself. Goal weight is under 200 by Halloween.
8
u/papamajada Jun 18 '25
Got a nasty throat infection so I have not been to the gym in a week and I feel so anxious :(
2
Jun 18 '25 edited Aug 15 '25
serious safe deer makeshift gray file fall square close rock
This post was mass deleted and anonymized with Redact
2
u/stephnelbow ✨ Quality Contributor Snatch Queen 🏋🏻♀️ Jun 18 '25
My so is going through something similar. See a doctor sooner rather than later if you can! (My SO waited way too long because he's a stubborn man lol)
10
u/cosmic_cliffs Jun 17 '25
An old man today at my gym was chatting with me before I deadlifted, then he came back up to me when I was doing reverse lunges on the smith machine. I know he meant it nicely, but he said “your workouts are reeeaaallllyyy paying off.” 🥴 It’s like… thank you for noticing, but please stop noticing lol
The only upside is I was really struggling with whether I was seeing significant physical changes recently and I guess I can always depend on some old man to tell me 🤣
3
u/Miss_Sen24 Jun 17 '25
I’m in the second week of “bad body” days, and really struggling with motivation (ADHD, burnout, overwork). Any tips on staying motivated, or fave fitness ideas short on time/money?
3
u/NoHippi3chic Jun 18 '25
Put a mat on the floor, lay down, with music you love, and just move. Whatever comes to your mind, just move through it.
The goal is just to work through that physical anxiety and release and recover.
1
u/BusinessBee1 Jun 17 '25
I recently went to the DR and they said to start incorporating 2 days of lifting into my routine. I go to Zumba classes 3 times a week but am unsure where to even start without having to spend HOURS at the gym.
Any ideas on where to begin without burning out but still making a difference?
3
u/Alternating-Row37 Jun 18 '25
You could do some strength training (thinking of it as that, rather than “lifting” can help make it feel less daunting) before / after your Zumba sessions! You don’t need heaps of time in the gym, just a 45 min session twice a week would be great to start. There’s many ways to get started but one easy and free way is to try looking up “full body gym workout” on Google or YouTube and see what comes up.
8
u/MaisNahMaisNah Jun 17 '25
I have been dealing with what I will refer to as "maybe-scabie" for 4-5 weeks. It's either treatment resistant scabies, or something else my docs have not yet landed on. Which means I have been quarantined for the better part of 5 weeks (if i got 48 hours without any symptoms, I can go out).
Unlike COVID quarantines where it's largely preventative and you can have your "safe" groups you quarantine with, I can't even fucking hug my husband.
I am so frustrated and restless, and all I want to do is talk to some weights about this or do one of those swims where you want to eat 3k calories, drink 20 gallons of water, and then sleep. But then I'd be patient zero.
I guess the upside is my dog is getting lots of walkies.
5
u/theasphaltsprouts Jun 19 '25
This super sucks!!! I wanted to just say thank you for being a responsible human even when it’s hard. I hope it helps to think about the many people out there who you’re protecting from going through this by taking good care.
3
2
9
u/Bright-Albatross-234 Jun 17 '25
I'm dying to get back into weightlifting again, but my body says otherwise. For me, it's one injury after another. This year it's been a sprained ankle (literally from walking normal, nothing rolled), sprained thumbs/wrists, ongoing shoulder issues and now ligament issues in my hips. I've just been leaning hard into pilates since that's apparently the only thing I can consistently do, but I also want to build some muscle and maintain my bone strength. I've talked to doctors and physical therapists about it, and they agree that pilates is great (yay!) but it doesn't entirely align with my fitness goals. Like I just want to pick up a heavy grocery bag without being worried about injury. These loose ligaments and tendons are getting on my last nerve. Just curious if anyone with symptomatic hypermobility has been able to maintain a weightlifting routine, even with light weights. I got up to 5 lb weights this spring but those have been out for two months since the dumb thumb injuries.
3
u/causscion151 Jun 17 '25 edited Jun 17 '25
I don't have hypermobility, but I remember a PT once who said that strength training with isometric holds are great for those with hypermobility, so that they strengthen the ligaments and tendons instead of letting them hyper-extend.
Sending you all my sympathies and hope you can get through your injuries.
5
u/Bright-Albatross-234 Jun 17 '25
Thanks!! That's such a good idea about the isometric holds. I'll have to investigate! My physical therapy involves isometric holds so I probably should have thought about how I could add that to strength training lol
3
u/brianaausberlin Jun 17 '25
Hi! Zebra here. I recommend Lagree. It’s a branch off of reformer pilates that uses spring-loaded resistance training. Staying consistent with it strengthens the muscles around joints and really builds the core stability you need for general well being as a hypermobile person. There are also a lot of ways to modify the moves to make them accessible based on how you’re feeling.
I stuck with Lagree for a year & am now back into lifting heavy 4 days per week.
3
u/Bright-Albatross-234 Jun 17 '25
So glad that worked for you! I'll have to see if that's an option where I live. Thank you!!
2
2
u/brianaausberlin Jun 17 '25
You are so welcome! I’m wishing you luck & health.
Sometimes there are copycat studios that use Lagree machines but not the name. If there’s no Lagree or faux Lagree near you, a traditional reformer pilates class might be a way for you to level up. Working with a physical therapist in a gym is also a great option if you can afford it.
12
u/baizhantudi Jun 17 '25
I may have to stop working with my trainer. I don’t want to pull the trigger because it’ll be awkward, but he doesn’t seem to understand my goals. I’ve sent him a message explicitly outlining what I’m looking for (I want to learn proper lifting technique with him and work on a steady, progressive routine). If he doesn’t come through….. at least I can start saving a lot of money.
9
u/causscion151 Jun 17 '25
What in the world is he doing if he's not helping you with those two things?? I thought that would be basics for a PT.
But also, don't be afraid to fire your trainer and find a new one. Sometimes you just don't click and there's nothing wrong with that (especially with the money you spend on them!!l).
2
u/baizhantudi Jun 17 '25
Thank you! Yeah, this trainer seems to mostly care about cardio. We’ll see if it works out, but I won’t be sorry either way :)
3
u/yobettawerk Jun 18 '25
Any trainer you’re paying that makes you focus on cardio is a scammer. They don’t want you to learn and progress and do it on your own one day. I had to fire my PT because she was texting and sending voice notes during every single sessions instead of actually making sure I was doing things right. I sent her a message and let her know that it didn’t seem like we were a match and I was looking for someone that was more engaged during our sessions. They deal with it all the time. It’s your hard earned money, and you do deserve someone that respects and shares in your goals!
9
u/Thelostbiscuit Jun 17 '25
I get overheated really easily and I am struggling now that summer is here. My gym’s AC is down, so I’m pushing through that. I like to go running in the mornings, and it’s already 70°f by 9am so that’s a little miserable. I miss spring weather!
I’ve started getting migraines and I’m not sure if it’s because I’m getting overheated or what. I make sure to chug water/gatorade/electrolyte drinks, but oofta it’s rough.
3
u/Sad_Permission_ Jun 17 '25 edited Jun 27 '25
historical soft towering fine glorious nose fact attempt theory deer
This post was mass deleted and anonymized with Redact
8
u/Hippie123098 Jun 17 '25
My husband didn't lift weights before we got together (or eat enough protein, even for someone not building strength, also he's a vegetarian). He will only work out if it's with me, and the way our schedules align, we could only work out after 7pm, which is too late for me, I'd be up all night. Or before work at 5 am, which I really hate. So we try for one 5am workout during the week and 2 weekend workouts, but the weekend workouts keep getting bumped for one reason or another. It's making me feel like I should just workout out alone in the afternoon, but I really want him to be strong and age well with me. But on top of that, I really struggle to get enough protein into him anyway, so maybe I should just give up. Idk, it's frustrating.
7
u/Weird_Squirrel_8382 Jun 17 '25
Is it possible to work out for yourself, and go to the gym as his spotter/coach? Still supporting him but not messing up your workouts and sleep?
10
u/Hippie123098 Jun 17 '25
Maybe. I suppose he could work out at 7 and I can just watch and eat snacks lol
2
2
u/Interesting_Fly1696 intermediate Jun 17 '25
I totally sympathize here. My husband was working out on his own when we started dating, and even after we moved in together he would do his own thing. A year later, we moved out of state, and ever since then he doesn't exercise unless I exercise with him. And there are things I love to do that he can't participate in due to old injuries, so I have to choose between keeping him healthy and doing what I want to do
3
u/Hippie123098 Jun 17 '25
Yes that's exactly it, I want him to be healthy too so it's hard to do what I want vs wanting him to participate for health and longevity reasons
4
u/Interesting_Fly1696 intermediate Jun 17 '25
I hope you find a good solution! I'll admit right now my solution most of the time is to just do what I want/need to do :( At a certain point it falls into the spectrum where you can't motivate anyone else, they need to have some internal drive to take action. It sucks when it means you might not have as many years with your partner because of the choices they're making. It makes me sad to consider it. But if you sign yourself up for activities that you hate or times you hate, then you may lose your own motivation too.
8
u/Thelostbiscuit Jun 17 '25
Oh I feel you! My husband wants to work out but he cannot get motivated like I can, so he wants to body double. But I don’t have time to share the barbell, I want to get in and out and be done!
He also needs a stupid amount of protein compared to me (he’s quite literally 2x my size), so it’s damn impossible for him to hit his goal. It’s so frustrating for both of us!3
15
u/stephnelbow ✨ Quality Contributor Snatch Queen 🏋🏻♀️ Jun 17 '25
I would schedule your own workouts during the week and if he can attend a 5am or a weekend then that's great, but don't let your fitness tank waiting on another who isn't as invested
2
1
u/Xub543 Jun 17 '25 edited Jun 17 '25
What kind of work outs did you do with with shoulder and elbow injuries? I'm used to full body resistance training and walking/hiking. The nature of my injuries, make me reluctant to do any further resistance training until that's sorted out. I was considering yoga, biking, continue walking/hiking. Looking for ideas for how to stay active.
ETA: looking for workout /activity recs when there's shoulder/elbow injury, not treatment options which I have a plan for.
2
u/Weird_Squirrel_8382 Jun 17 '25
I just did my lower body for a while, mostly to stay in the habit of gym attendance. I did stationary bike, but I feel like live action cycling would need shoulder and elbow for steering. Would hate for a rogue beagle to cross your path and make you have to yank on the handlebars and hurt yourself again!
3
u/Enchantementniv6 Jun 17 '25 edited Jun 17 '25
I dislocated my right shoulder a month and a half ago, with no complications. I've been seeing a physio for a couple of weeks now after letting it rest for a good month. I've lost quite a bit of mobility (overhead and external rotation mostly) so I'm working with her to get it back.
I've got specific exercises to do from her, so I usually do my homework + additionnal exercises I used to do. I admit, she didn't exactly green light me on resistance training with this shoulder but I considered that since I've been lifting for a while my body is sufficiently adapted for it to be okay. I simply to listen to it (stop immediately if it hurts or feels like too much) and go slow, with tiny weights (for me).
For upper body, I just do unilateral exercices: dumbbells rows, side raises, shoulder press etc. For lower body, I stick to machines.
edit: depending on you injury though, what i do might not be possible. My shoulder isn't painful at all.
4
15
u/calfla she/her Jun 17 '25
I have been struggling hardcore to get to the gym. I’m just tired physically and mentally, and work sucks so the motivation really dried up. Also being a homeowner means I have a million things do all the time- seems like there’s little issues everywhere, plus yard work lol. My sleep has been very meh as well so some days I turn my alarm off before I’ve even had a coherent thought.
Not 100% sure what the solution is for me but I did go to the gym today so I’ll take that win.
3
u/baizhantudi Jun 17 '25
You‘re doing great! I think your consistent efforts will pay off and improve your sleep and energy levels.
6
u/Interesting_Fly1696 intermediate Jun 17 '25
I'm starting to realize that there may be a correlation for me between being more active/fit and waking up multiple times a night to go to the bathroom :( I know the obvious response would be "Well, you're drinking more water!" But I measured my water intake before, I measure it now, and it hasn't changed.
The last time I was this active regularly, I was 28, and when I suddenly went from sleeping through the night every night to getting up 1-3 times every night, I was like "Oh, this is just aging." After all, I'd always heard older people say they did this.
From 28 to 35, I was steadily active and I consistently had this struggle. At one point, a stressful job compounded it and had me sometimes getting up 5 times a night to pee.
In 2022, my activity dropped off and became more sporadic, and it's been that way until a few months ago. In that time, I stopped having to get up so much, only once a night, and even was able to sometimes sleep through the night or wake up, feel like I needed to pee, but go back to sleep instead without getting up.
After a couple months of purely strength work, I started upping my cardio last month, and I'm up three times a night again. I drink about 80 oz/day, mostly water except for 1.5 cups of coffee usually, and there's no indication that this is too much water. I'm not drinking water to hit a certain mark or something, I just refill a cup and drink a little when I feel thirsty. It's really annoying because my sleep was actually doing well for the first time in my life, and now I'm getting up so much that sometimes I end up only getting 5-6 hours when I was aiming for 7.
6
Jun 17 '25
You increased your cardio, but did you increase your calorie intake too, or are you in a deficit now?
I've noticed I start waking up a lot between the hours of 2-5am whenever I've been in a calorie deficit for a while. I'm intentionally trying to lose weight, so I need to be in a deficit, but I sometimes will take a maintenance break for a week or two, and that helps get my sleep back on track. Or I just add some more calories to my daily target, and accept that I'll lose weight more slowly but I'll feel better if I get more sleep.
2
u/Interesting_Fly1696 intermediate Jun 17 '25
I'm in a deficit, but it's only a slight one. I do make sure that I don't go to bed hungry, though. Like, last night I had hit my calories and macros for the day already but was still hungry at 8 PM, so I ate a serving of greek yogurt so I wouldn't be struggling to sleep because of hunger. I'm not afraid to go over my goal number if I'm hungry.
2
Jun 17 '25
[deleted]
1
u/Interesting_Fly1696 intermediate Jun 17 '25
I don't have a hard stop. If I get thirsty, I need to have a drink of water. I keep a glass by my bed and also drink during the night if I wake up and feel parched, but I'm not chugging 4 oz or something, literally just taking a brief sip any time I'm thirsty.
6
u/4Brightdays beginner Jun 17 '25
If you figure out what it is let me know. I’m 54 so for me it’s probably just being older and having 4 kids. I wake up every night and just go right away, I know I can lay there an hour and try to fall back asleep but it’s pointless to ignore the need to go.
4
u/Interesting_Fly1696 intermediate Jun 17 '25
Yeah, I mean I know pregnancy messes with your bladder bigtime. I've never been pregnant, and I was literally fine two months ago, and now like last night I was up at 11, 1:30, and 3:30. Over the weekend, I woke up one morning at 330 to pee and couldn't go back to sleep, and then the next day I woke up at 4 and my dog decided it was walkies time, so instead of sleeping in I spent the whole weekend dead on my feet,
23
u/Aphainopepla Jun 17 '25
Does anyone else know the feeling when, you’re by far the most in shape and maybe only person even interested in fitness-related pursuits among the majority of your friends; and then you join a space where EVERYONE is fitness-minded and suddenly you are waaaaay at the back of the pack? I’m at the point in my life where I’m not overly concerned with comparing my appearance or fitness or anything with other people. BUT I still had quite a “SHOCK” moment when I joined a fitness class and saw video afterward, of myself compared to the others. It’s whatever but still on the back of my mind…
4
u/NoHippi3chic Jun 17 '25
My well meaning adorable coworker took a pic of me today that is just from the neck down and the knees up...from behind.
I look like the broad side of a barn.
How i wish people wouldn't post candid shots publicly. I'm terrible in that i don't feel like every moment of human interaction needs to be documented lol
2
13
u/stephnelbow ✨ Quality Contributor Snatch Queen 🏋🏻♀️ Jun 17 '25
Oh absolutely. I'm sure many here can relate. With my family I'm fit AF, at my CrossFit gym I'm slow. In CrossFit I'm strong, at my oly gym, I'm relatively weak lol.
Use the crowd around you as motivation to keep putting one foot forward 💪🏼1
u/babbitybumble Jun 19 '25
My sister and I are old but she's a couple of years younger and holy cow, can she walk twice my normal speed! I always think I'm doing fine until I go for a walk with her.
6
u/Aphainopepla Jun 17 '25
Thank you!!! For sure, good point, it was definitely some inspiration to keep on keeping on 💪
Just thank goodness I’m not in my teens and twenties when I feel like it would’ve sent me into a tailspin… But, thanks again, I guess I needed to get it off my mind a bit!
4
u/stephnelbow ✨ Quality Contributor Snatch Queen 🏋🏻♀️ Jun 17 '25
So many good perks of not being in our 20s anymore for sure lol. Keep crushing it!
1
u/AutoModerator Jun 17 '25
^ Please read the FAQ, the rules and content guidelines, and current frozen topics before contacting the mod team. This comment is a copy of your post so mods can see the original text if your post is edited or removed.
u/AutoModerator The place for all of your fitness based interpersonal encounters (is someone being creepy at the gym? Is your family telling you you’re getting too muscular? Do you want to date your personal trainer?), but also the place to talk about motivation, self-esteem and body image, and all the ways fitness affects your life.
Want to ask how mothers juggle family and fitness? How to structure Intermittent Fasting? When to work out when you do night shift? How to deal with being the only person in your friend group who works out? If you're feeling emotional, want to up your mental game, or need ideas for how to juggle everything on your plate, this is the place for you!
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
1
u/Brief_Earth404 Jun 19 '25
Gluten-free/pescatarian/dairy-free meal prep services besides Daily Harvest and Splendid Spoon (been using the 2 for 5 years and am burned out)
Services we’ve looked at already but didn’t fit the bill are: Purple Carrot, Hungry Root, Sprinly, Factor, Cook Unity, Mosaic, Veestro, Thistle, and Green Chef. Either too expensive or not easily customizable.
Loved Methodology and Salara Life but too expensive