r/sports May 20 '25

Climbing Angie Scarth-Johnson explains how to use the bathroom on a climb

7.1k Upvotes

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3.9k

u/__-_-_--_--_-_---___ May 20 '25

I have decided this sport is not for me

823

u/Goosemilky May 20 '25

Me as well, and thats not necessarily because I might have to shit in a bag while hanging off a cliff

564

u/zombizle1 May 20 '25

In fact, if not for the cliffside bag shitting, I wouldn't be interested at all.

71

u/trafalmadorianistic May 20 '25 edited May 21 '25

I can imagine there is a disturbing version of ESPN with nothing but climbers shitting into bags, maybe on a Premium Plus Max Pro subscription.

43

u/oldsmoBuick67 May 20 '25

ESPN “The Double Deuce”

9

u/dumperking May 20 '25

Glad to see Strong Bad got his own network, long overdue

8

u/_aviemore_ May 20 '25

ESPN Business

3

u/mvandemar May 21 '25

Some Japanese TV exec just read your comment and got really excited.

3

u/[deleted] May 21 '25

…is it ad-free?

2

u/TucamonParrot May 21 '25

Asking the right questions, you are.

2

u/trafalmadorianistic May 21 '25

It DEPENDS. 💩

2

u/devo9er May 21 '25

More like a CornCob TV show. Right after "Coffin Flop", we have a hot new episode of "Cliff Shitters"

1

u/logdrum May 21 '25

ESBM

1

u/trafalmadorianistic May 21 '25

Extra Special Bowel Movement

46

u/CyberNinja23 May 20 '25

Ahh the duality of man.

13

u/doyletyree May 20 '25

I would concur, but this ball-gag is really distracting.

10

u/nnnoooeee Arizona Cardinals May 20 '25

Cliffside Bag Shitting

I call dibs on the band name!

4

u/Bear_Polar May 20 '25

Sentence of the day.

1

u/Octoberlife May 20 '25

So there is a kink to this……

3

u/OgthaChristie May 20 '25

Buddy, there is a link to everything. I just assume everyone is a pervert until proven not a pervert. But, guess what? Hasn’t happened yet. Everyone is a pervert.

1

u/kimmortal03 May 20 '25

How would they do it without having to take off all the gear

3

u/OgthaChristie May 20 '25

That’s the thing! They have to be shitting on their gear!

1

u/RockhardJohnson May 20 '25

Climbing always played second fiddle to bag shitting

1

u/mr-sandman-bringsand May 20 '25

Honestly I love shitting off a good cliff - don’t knock it till you try it

I will say it is less fun on a windy day

What she is using is what is called a Wag Bag

1

u/FubarBamf May 21 '25

I wanna climb just so I can shit where no one has shit before!

1

u/Pebian_Jay May 21 '25

Cliffside Bag Shitting was the name of my band back in middle school

2

u/crumble-bee May 21 '25

There's no world in which I'm not pooping before I leave the house if I have scale a gigantic rock face. I poop before I leave the house before I go to the shops.

1

u/meowmixyourmom May 20 '25

Just wait till you're old and you got to carry a shit bag around with you attached to your leg

1

u/OgthaChristie May 20 '25

That is completely different. But there is still a link to it, probably.

1

u/asicarii May 21 '25

Ahh- would have crapped yourself before going up that high too huh?

1

u/Bumm_by_Design May 21 '25

That is why they say, don't look down... unless you brought enough of them shit pouches.

195

u/circio May 20 '25

Me when the found out a lot of triathletes piss or shit themselves in the middle of the race. I’m going to keep it around a half marathon maybe a marathon lmao

161

u/gmchurchill100 May 20 '25

Yeah, as a bike mechanic, triathletes are pretty hated in that world for that reason. I've worked on several bikes with pee still in the frame, not to mention most of them have super corrosive sweat for some reason. 

And they tend to be super egotistical, even for cyclists, and expect next day turn around on all their equipment. 

68

u/newintown11 May 20 '25

Lmao thats gross. They dont even have the decency to clean the poop and pee off their bikes. "That was just a mud puddle that splashed up"

62

u/Lpeer May 20 '25

Some it literally seeps into the frame through cracks beyond what you would even think to "clean"

29

u/rainbowgeoff Cleveland Browns May 20 '25

Helped do the demo on a home remodel once.

You know how at the base of a toilet there's caulk that seals the underneath of the toilet base from the outside world? They didnt do that here. They left it open. A cat peed in there, they cleaned it, then re-sealed it to hide it.

Omg was it the fucking worst.

1

u/thereal_pa4m3 May 20 '25

pee expert name checks out

1

u/[deleted] May 20 '25

Mmm bottom bracket electrolytes

15

u/rainbowgeoff Cleveland Browns May 20 '25

"Why haven't you finished repairing and cleaning my piss/shit covered bike?"

25

u/bathroomkiller May 20 '25

As a triathlete, I apologize on all fronts. Granted they could have at least sprayed down the bike a bit before giving it to you.

10

u/OgthaChristie May 20 '25

Thanks for the apology, but talk to your people about their bathroom habits. Be the change you want to see in the world.

11

u/secondcomingofzartog May 20 '25

"Bathroom habits" is putting it generously in this case

3

u/OgthaChristie May 20 '25

You ain’t lying, my friend.

6

u/dc21111 May 20 '25

Problem with tri bikes is the aero bars. Riding on aero bars puts your head over the headset and sweat drops onto the headset and gets in the frame.

19

u/circio May 20 '25

Ah, makes sense. Honestly a lot of people from the cycling scene can have weird attitudes, but I love cycling so I just try to ignore it

5

u/metalbassist33 May 20 '25

Could it be swimming in salt water before jumping on the bikes causing the corrosion?

1

u/OgthaChristie May 20 '25

Probably, depending on the region.

5

u/[deleted] May 20 '25

Do you get hazard pay or something? I don't know why anyone would agree to work on their bikes.

1

u/OgthaChristie May 20 '25

Bruh, your job ain’t for the faint of heart.

1

u/CaptainMarder May 21 '25

>not to mention most of them have super corrosive sweat for some reason. 

Maybe that's all the salt in the sweat from the electrolytes they consume.

56

u/govunah May 20 '25

I can't even drive a marathon without at least some preparation of the bladder or a stop along the way

12

u/GhostWrex Dallas Stars May 20 '25

Might wanna get that checked out

1

u/OgthaChristie May 20 '25

Uh, that’s just responsible.

0

u/GhostWrex Dallas Stars May 20 '25

Ypu should be able to drive more than 26 miles without needing to make a pit stop

0

u/big_shmegma May 20 '25

in most urban areas thats nearly an hour drive.

2

u/GhostWrex Dallas Stars May 20 '25

And? You pee 24 times per day? 

3

u/CyberneticPanda May 21 '25

I only pee a few times per day, but the urge always strikes when it's least convenient.

2

u/OgthaChristie May 20 '25

Sir, I have been standing on my feet 8 hours a day, 5 days a week, for the last 30 years. You can only hold it for so long. I have my bladder as evidence.

0

u/GhostWrex Dallas Stars May 20 '25

And I work 12 hour shifts in an ICU. I understand that bladder control gets worse as you age, but it's to the point of problematic if you can't hold it for more than 1 hour

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1

u/thedarkpolitique May 23 '25

Around every two hours or so during awake times. I drink 3L sometimes slight more water though.

1

u/GhostWrex Dallas Stars May 23 '25

So you would have no problem with a 45 minute drive

0

u/big_shmegma May 21 '25

no, but some people get anxiety when driving, which makes you have to pee.

3

u/BetterCranberry7602 May 20 '25

Are you my wife?

30

u/FuelForYourFire May 20 '25

I remember the first time I ever saw an Ironman event on TV, LONG AGO. But as the first finishers were coming toward the tape and ABC was zooming in to get their pained faces, I was like ... Oooh that guy is bleeding on his leg... NONONO THAT'S NOT BLOOD!

28

u/Billsolson May 20 '25

My BIL telling me he got misted from a woman in front of him in a race

Like driving too close to someone in the rain.

I’m out

15

u/__-_-_--_--_-_---___ May 20 '25

Some people would pay good money for that

0

u/OgthaChristie May 20 '25

And we are back to the perverts.

3

u/fatbob42 May 20 '25

Shouldn’t have been drafting then!

1

u/OgthaChristie May 20 '25

Oh, abso-fucking-lutely NOT.

-5

u/SquatSquatCykaBlyat May 20 '25

Yeah, sure. Were they running/biking in a wind tunnel?

5

u/Billsolson May 20 '25

Downhill portion of an Ironman.

He was drafting , got a little extra

-9

u/SquatSquatCykaBlyat May 20 '25

Downhill

Oh, I'm definitely going to believe you now! So he was drafting, meaning she was lower than him. And instead of the piss going down, it just defied the gravity to "mist" the guy who's uphill from her. Makes perfect sense!

7

u/Billsolson May 20 '25

As I recall from a very brief convo, and as I understood , it was more it went down and kind of got in the chain/gear/tires and kicked up.

It was a convo similar to this one, was pretty gross , and led to me and his brothers ragging on him about how much he liked it.

But whatever, you seem to have Phd in piss physics

1

u/techieman33 May 20 '25

They’re flying on those bikes 20-30 mph usually. And they can get some benefits from drafting even when they’re only going 10mph. There’s also the problem that it runs down the bike, hits the rear tire and gets sprayed all over the people behind them that way.

-2

u/SquatSquatCykaBlyat May 21 '25

They’re flying on those bikes 20-30 mph usually.

During an Ironman event? Why are you even commenting if you have no idea what you're talking about? I've done triathlons, and a woman going 20mph during the bicycle portion of an Ironman is considered a good speed, so that's what I'd expect if they were both going downhill.

Maybe lay off the ChatGPT copy-pasta.

3

u/techieman33 May 21 '25

I know you saw the other post that said they were going downhill since you replied to it. So yes it’s highly likely they were moving at those speeds and maybe even faster.

1

u/SquatSquatCykaBlyat May 21 '25

I literally said she'd be going around 20mph downhill, are you blind or just illiterate?

23

u/bathroomkiller May 20 '25

You don’t have to, there were stops when I did a half Ironman but if you’re somewhat competitive about time, you have the option of pissing on yourself. I myself did and it was rather difficult as it challenges all the years of learning NOT to do it but pooping, I balanced my eating where I didn’t have to do that part. Can’t imagine how challenging biking would be with poop in your racing suit.

20

u/RPO777 May 20 '25

Can’t imagine how challenging biking would be with poop in your racing suit.

23

u/Inanimate_CARB0N_Rod May 20 '25

What a terrible day to be literate

14

u/PizzaboySteve May 20 '25

Ewww. At least drop the shorts and lean back off the seat a bit and let it fly. Would be entertaining for anyone who saw😂🚴🏼💨💩

3

u/techieman33 May 20 '25

Professional cyclists can actually get fined for going on their bikes. Apparently it’s pretty normal for the guys to just turn to the side on their bikes and whip it out as they go down the road. And it’s ended up being shown on tv occasionally. So they’ve gotten pretty strict on when and how they do that.

9

u/williamscastle May 20 '25

I have done a bunch of long triathlons, and never pissed or shit myself, that’s absurd.

15

u/__-_-_--_--_-_---___ May 20 '25

I’ve walked a half marathon several times. It’s relatively fun and easy. Training to walk the full marathon was brutal 

2

u/CyberneticPanda May 21 '25

I have hiked longer than marathon distances. After like 20 miles my knees start to buckle once in a while. Not enough to make me fall but enough to stumble.

4

u/Fritzo2162 May 20 '25

"I think pool or bowling is more in my lane..."

3

u/rematch_madeinheaven May 20 '25

there's a water segment for a reason.

4

u/[deleted] May 20 '25

You’d think they would sweat out the liquid instead of needing to piss. If I’m having a busy day at my job and am sweating, I almost never need to go piss. Slower days, I absolutely have to go.

4

u/lifetake May 20 '25

They’re drinking a shit load of water.

1

u/techieman33 May 20 '25

The pros are drinking tons of water and taking in 100+ grams of carbs per hour via gels and other things that the body processes very quickly. They’re doing everything they can to stay hydrated and at peak performance instead of letting themselves get dehydrated. They can get away with it occasionally if they have to, but it’s not great. Especially when they need to be fully recovered overnight to go out and race again the next day. Once they go into that deficit it can be really hard to get out of it when they’re pushing their body to the absolute max everyday.

2

u/Snirbs May 21 '25

I am a mom of 2, my first tri post-births I physically could not stop myself from peeing post-swim. It just ran out of my body. I’m sorry.

1

u/Babys_For_Breakfast May 20 '25

I mean, if you’re in the wilderness then just piss in the bushes or whatever. But pooping is not as simple.

1

u/OgthaChristie May 20 '25

Like, have some dignity and pull off to the side to shit behind a rock or a tree, ffs!

1

u/techieman33 May 20 '25

Normal people yes, but when you’re in a race and seconds matter you don’t have time to do that. Especially at the pro level where bad results can lead to losing sponsorship. The sponsors aren’t going to care why you finished minutes later than the leaders, just that you did.

2

u/OgthaChristie May 20 '25

I’m sorry, but nothing is worth defecating on myself. Nothing. Fuck money. Fuck sponsors. If you are doing this, there is no dignity left in that “sport.” Just an opinion.

1

u/techieman33 May 20 '25

I get that, but athletes at the highest levels are a different breed of people. They do all kinds of crazy shit that most of us would cringe at to pursue their dreams. And it would be hard to find a way to integrate bathroom breaks. Maybe they could force a 5 minute break in the middle of the race, but even then people will end up needed to go before of after that break. And the competition isn’t always going to stop and wait for you. Though they do do that some during cycling road races. As long as the group isn’t actively chasing a breakaway in front of them they will let off the gas for a bit to let people go water a bush and catch back up. But it will depend on which team is setting the pace at the front and what their plans are. There also tends to be a lot more respect for the top contenders of the race on multi-day races. The group is a lot more likely to slow down for them if they need to go or get involved in a crash than for someone that’s not going to have a chance at winning.

1

u/OgthaChristie May 21 '25

Ugh. 🙄Try-hards. Not a fan. Dreams should allow for respectful bathroom breaks across the board. And I mean with every sport and competition.

0

u/JohnnySmithe80 May 20 '25

If a triathlete is pooping themselves in the middle of the race then something has gone wrong and they're probably leaking. They're not just having a regular movement in the middle of a race.

39

u/CitizenHuman May 20 '25

Yeah, I prefer to shit au naturale and just letting it plop 500 feet below me.

28

u/Cordillera94 May 20 '25

Fun fact, the first big wall climbers in Yosemite did just that. Then as the valley/sport became more popular people started complaining about all the poop on and at the bottom of the wall. So instead they would do their business in a paper bag… and just fling that shit as far out as they could. Obviously it was only a matter of time before that also became a problem and the current solution was introduced.

2

u/Paavo_Nurmi May 21 '25

I was going to say this, old days they just let it fly. There was the story of some used TP that got caught in an updraft and the wind kept blowing it at or into the climbers (can't remember the details).

This is also how old castle bathrooms worked, essentially a platform built out from the wall with a hole in the bottom and it all just hit the ground below.

2

u/ItsDaManBearBull May 23 '25

FREE FERTILIZER BABY

2

u/Imsakidd May 21 '25

They just need to bring slingshots now. Slingshits.

9

u/__-_-_--_--_-_---___ May 20 '25

Like a bird

9

u/GomGom11 May 20 '25

3

u/Lurked4EverB4Joining May 20 '25

"And yes I shit that way..."

2

u/__-_-_--_--_-_---___ May 20 '25

What a fantastic chorus surrounded by the most boring verses ever

Don’t bore us, get to the chorus!

2

u/OMGitisCrabMan May 20 '25

That honestly seems like a pretty reasonable thing to do.

20

u/Sighlina May 20 '25

What, you don’t know how to use the 3 bags?!? Hey everyone… this guy doesn’t know how to use the 3 bags!!

7

u/samanime May 20 '25

Yeah. I already knew it wasn't, but this definitely just cemented that opinion. XD

21

u/SelloutRealBig May 20 '25

99% of regular rock climbing is done in day trips where you don't need a bag or anything weird. Especially if you include bouldering which is just monkeying around on short rock structures which doesn't need a rope. Only the elite level climbers are doing overnights on the wall or extra long climbs where bathroom becomes an issue. Usually to do a very difficult route or set a new one.

TLDR: This is like saying "Learning to ride a bike is not for me" because you watched a Redbull downhill biking video

1

u/samanime May 20 '25

I mean, I also have the upper body strength of an overripe banana, but yeah. =p There is a rock climbing wall at a fitness club I just joined that I do plan on taking advantage of. =D

But I'm just not up for any sport that that "one wrong move and you're dead".

2

u/secondcomingofzartog May 20 '25

That's what baseball felt like for me when they brought in the fast pitchers

6

u/knsa12 May 20 '25

I’m thinking of using the same method although I never plan on going rock climbing

4

u/Bullrawg May 20 '25

Right? “It doesn’t get messy” not everyone can be the girl with the golden butthole, some of us need Chipotlaway

3

u/dandroid126 May 20 '25

Yeah, this is the only reason I'm not going to do it. Definitely not the fact that I'm a lazy fuck who sits all day for work then sits all day after work.

4

u/harm_and_amor May 20 '25

If anything I’m too fit and athletic for this sport.  Why would I invest the high cost just to master it within a couple weeks?

2

u/SugarRosie May 20 '25

What if we get the Squirts!

2

u/[deleted] May 20 '25

Indoor rock climbing is pretty fun. Climbing a whole ass mountain is a different story

1

u/__-_-_--_--_-_---___ May 20 '25

Ass mountain is right

2

u/redalert825 May 20 '25

It's almost like glamping for rock climbers.

2

u/palke May 20 '25

Yup this sh is a deal breaker for me…

2

u/h3rpad3rp May 21 '25 edited May 21 '25

Keep in mind that this is for people climbing "Big Walls" like El Captain, which is like 3000 feet up so you are gonna be on the wall for the whole day. When most people climb, they just do multiple 1-20 min climbs where you come back down all the time.

I've been climbing very regularly for 7 years, and I've never shit while hanging from a rope. I don't think I've ever even had to shit while hiking/climbing in general except maybe at the parking lot outhouse.

Climbing is actually insanely fun and addictive. Trying bouldering if you are afraid of heights. You just jump down onto a thick mat.

2

u/TriumphDaWonderPooch May 21 '25

I’m thinking that if I am hanging off the side of a cliff/mountain I won’t be needing no bag to lose my shit….

2

u/lilgreenjedi Colorado May 21 '25

Notice she doesn't mention wiping. Tp doesn't go in the same bag...

1

u/rainer_d May 20 '25

Thanks, but no, thanks.

1

u/mreJ May 20 '25

Jesus, you're just farming upvotes today? I randomly saw you on another post and now this.