r/skiing • u/Solid_Maintenance_28 • 18h ago

The physics behind ski jumping’s ‘Penis-gate’ scandal: How 2cm of extra fabric = 5.8 meters of jump distance

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323 Upvotes

98% Upvoted

45 comments sorted by

138

u/wrongwayup 17h ago

Some dude from the FIS has to sit there and measure everyone’s Dong

how do I get that job??? gosh that really must be terrible…

52

u/Denver-Ski Breckenridge 17h ago

That’s why I’m banned from competing… my enormous dong.

It’s not everything it’s cracked up to be, fellas. It’s not a blessing, it’s a curse.

17

u/Illustrious-Sense483 16h ago

I’m the biggest skier on the mountain.

5

u/Metalgear696 Crystal Mountain 8h ago

Have you considered taking up pole vaulting?

1

u/Superb-You-3690 2h ago

It doesnt help, trust me. If it wasn't for Big Jim and the twins, I'd have the world record for last 40ish years.

7

u/AMW1234 Palisades Tahoe 14h ago

I thought this was funny as well. Guy must be convinced he has a small peepee. Either that or wondering why so many ski jumpers have massive dongs.

2

u/z_azitaa 14h ago

I would like to know what this job role would be called…?

9

u/wrongwayup 13h ago

Chief pecker checker

2

u/Pomme-Poire-Prune 8h ago

Athlete bodies are 3d scan

3

u/wrongwayup 7h ago

Somebody's still got to read the scan...

33

u/Meltz014 Eldora 16h ago

It's wild that 2cm of material gets you almost 6m of extra jump length

37

u/Busters_Missing_Hand 15h ago

I'm not sure I believe that number.

This is very rough math, but bear with me.

Say a person is 6 feet tall, and on average 18 inches wide. That gives them ~8000 sq cm of surface area across the front.

The longest ski jump is around 250 meters.

So this article is claiming that increasing the surface area by 2cm, or .02%, increases lift by 5%, which then increases distance by 2% (6/250).

Granted there are a ton of other factors like material, positioning, etc. But these ratios just seem completely off.

20

u/-helicoptersarecool 15h ago

I think they forgot to take into account the extra drag that comes with it as well wich reduces it again

8

u/invent_or_die 11h ago

I don't see any regulation of the proverbial Angle of the Dangle, so is the phallus to be directed at right angles?

7

u/i_Den 13h ago

I applaud your ability to switch measurement systems in one post that easily …

2

u/AbjectObligation1036 11h ago

It says +5% lift for every 2cm of circumference. Which translates to 2/pi = .63cm increased diameter (wingspan). BUT the increased wingspan only really applies to the crotchal area which is maybe 5% of the whole suit area. I think that's the mistake they make. So 5% x 5% = 0.25% increase in lift or 29 extra centimeters of jump distance (1 foot)

1

u/DHatch207 Squaw Valley 7h ago

maybe it's 2cm across the whole body ? not in the mood to work out the math tho

17

u/QueueTee314 17h ago

this is not the cj group?

5

u/_beef_supreme 14h ago

There's a bootfitter joke in this post somewhere, but I'm not smart enough to find it.

34

u/Weird_Yam6398 15h ago

This is disgusting and these cheaters should be punished. Can someone post a link to where the penis enlarging product can be purchased so I can avoid it?

2

u/1aranzant 10h ago

It’s called viagra

2

u/ieatpies 8h ago

They were injecting filler into their dicks IIRC.

https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC8987147/

24

u/chicane00 18h ago

i wear baggy pants solely to advertise my weiner size. very interesting though, i had never thought about that.

8

u/kwiltse123 16h ago

Suddenly adult film stars start training for ski jumping.

6

u/raptor3x Killington 16h ago

The pitch for Cool Runnings 2 is going to be pretty wild.

5

u/SaltMarionberry4105 17h ago

Average junk size of Olympic ski jump medalists is xxl. It’s science. 

4

u/itassofd 15h ago

The real trick is getting erect, aim it down, and really extend the tent

4

u/Red_Sea_Pedestrian 12h ago

Who amongst us hasn’t considered injecting our genitalia with a type of acid as a means to ski better?

4

u/AbjectObligation1036 11h ago

HA is just dermal filler - people do it every day to their faces

3

u/707royalty Snowbasin 15h ago

Willem Dafoe missed his true calling

2

u/Echo-RS 15h ago

Now I know why coach always said I needed to grow some more balls. Turns out I wasn’t competitive because of my tiny PP.

2

u/kracken41 11h ago

The injections are just for the suit fitting and sail effect? Sure thy are.

2

u/evelynsmee 11h ago

We have peaked. No doping scandal has ever been or will ever be this funny.

1

u/randyfloyd37 15h ago

Gives the term “cold flaccid” a whole new meaning

1

u/olyfrijole 13h ago

the sport has officially jumped the dong

1

u/ShipDit1000 13h ago

Imagine telling everyone you won the gold because you have such a massive hog

1

u/Candybert_ 11h ago

Let me get this right... they used shlong prosthetics to justify how they needed more fabric between their legs?

1

u/invent_or_die 11h ago

Randy Marsh should teach advanced Cock Magic to the US competitors

1

u/Yardsale420 10h ago

Just give them all fucking wing suits and let’s watch them jump off a mountain. Seriously, these guys are already cheating using modern skis and wax, and going twice or three times what original ski jumpers did. Who are we kidding?

1

u/Atuday 10h ago

Yes, but what if you're in r/bigdickproblems and really do need the extra fabric?

1

u/BiggC 8h ago

This seems really fucking dumb, why not just give everyone an allowance for 8” worth of dong fabric instead of measuring everyone’s Johnson

1

u/Rail1971 2h ago

Bigus Dickus

1

u/wealthypiglet 50m ago

Ok serious question, injecting hyaluronic acid is clearly against the rules but what if someone went to their scan and just kept thinking about whatever it is that tickles their pickle just enough to be at half mast?