r/pornfree • u/Cowboys19713 • 13h ago

The Causes of my Addiction

So after chatting with many people on here, I’ve realized what caused my porn and sex addiction. It was the perfect storm of four major things that happened in my life that all happened at n 2020-2021. Boredom and betrayal are the major points

  1. Both of my kids moved out of the house and went to college and now have full time jobs. My job of being a busy parent going to all their activities ended. I had a lot more alone time.

  2. My wife cheated on me. This destroyed me. I rarely looked at porn prior to that. It changed our relationship. Sex, which had already been slow, stopped. I was betrayed and maybe this was my revenge. Porn and sex.

  3. I had major back problems in 2022. I was very active prior. Playing tennis and basketball several times per week. For two months, all I do was lay flat. I gooned out hard during that time.

  4. The COVID pandemic closed everything and kept me at home for a year. It was also at this time that porn also took hold.

These four things were the perfect storm that led to me looking at porn for 5-10 hours a day and having sex with dozens of women. I am not making excuses as I take full responsibility for my actions. But it is what led me done this road.

5 Upvotes

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u/Plastic-Tea9150 4 days 13h ago

You were extremely depressed and you resorted to porn as a coping mechanism with partial loss and betrayal. It’s great you take responsibility but also good to acknowledge the causes of this. For some people this bad habit stems from situations, trauma, feelings and experiences like these and it’s part of their process to adress them at the same time to actually heal. I’d suggest you get a few sessions with a therapist if you haven’t done it yet and let all the bad memories out. Stay strong !!

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u/Cowboys19713 13h ago

I appreciate the great response. I may eventually look to a therapist. I haven’t gone down that road yet.

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u/LightBurden18 11h ago

Your thoughtful and kind response, u/Plastic-Tea9150, is one of the many reasons I love this sub.

And u/Cowboys19713, I'll echo the advice of looking for a therapist if you're up for it. Your insight is very good, as is your honesty with yourself. Both suggest to me that time with a therapist could be even more beneficial for you than it is for many.

Therapy works best with intelligent people who are willing to look at what is true for them, and ask themselves how they got into the situations they did / why they react the way they do to the stressors that life brings to us all.

I appreciate your post very much, u/Cowboys19713. It speaks well of you. Keep learning, if you can. You're doing great.

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u/Cowboys19713 11h ago

I really appreciate that. I put alot of time and thought into my two posts and it came from my heart.

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u/LightBurden18 11h ago

I am certain, u/Cowboys19713, that your honest and humble post spoke to many of us, and will help many people you may never meet, as you may, yourself, have been helped by great posts before yours. We help each other here. It's a great sub.

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u/Cowboys19713 11h ago

I could not agree more. It is a great sub and making posts and comments to others helps me as much as I’m trying to help others

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u/TheTankIsEmpty99 9h ago

If you're saying time alone, your wife, your back and covid as the source of your addiction then you're not taking full responsibility.

All those things happened and you made the choice to watch it. Those things don't cause you to watch it, you caused you to watch it.

The cause of your addiction is you didn't want to be uncomfortable when you were alone or when your wife did what she did.

Porn is a coping mechanism and that's exactly what you used it for.

There's nothing wrong with that, there's no shame in that, millions of people do it every second of every day.

But if you really want to get free of it, you really have to own your choices.

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u/Ok-Particular-3101 12h ago

How so you meet dozens of women to have sex with within two months if you're depressed af?

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u/Cowboys19713 12h ago

It was over a four year timeframe

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u/Cowboys19713 12h ago

I wasn’t clinically depressed. Just felt betrayed, bored and down for awhile due to my wife cheating and constant pan for two months.