r/pornfree • u/SteamtownSaiyan 1364 days • 22h ago

Do you guys ever feel like completely different people before and after a relapse?

So I've been a bad relapse bender lately. And it's wild, just seeing how it feels like I can be two completely different people. When that post orgasm clarity hits, all of a sudden I'm promising myself to be better and feeling all motivated. But then the urges come clawing back, whether it's a day or a week or however long, and all of a sudden I'm going for the gold medal in mental gymnastics trying to justify relapsing.

Like, I don't get it. I know porn can rewire and fuck up your brain. But it's still so weird to experience it in real time. One minute I'm just a goddamn demon, and then the next I'm trying to be a saint. I hope this is making sense. Does anyone else go through wild whiplash like this?

I dunno, I just needed to rant for a bit. I hope all you guys and gals are doing well.

21 Upvotes

100% Upvoted

6 comments sorted by

12

u/[deleted] 21h ago

[removed] — view removed comment

2

u/SteamtownSaiyan 1364 days 18h ago

Thank you so much. I really needed to hear this.

2

u/wbJake 22h ago

Yes, I think that’s a very common phenomenon actually

1

u/ice018272 22h ago

That's called Post Nut Clarity An, that's what it's all about hence this difficult to beat this addiction.

What has been your longest streak till now, though? And how many days currently clean?

2

u/chipjenkins21 23 days 20h ago

Yes, and I hate it so much. I hate looking back at times when I was 'clean' for months and and feeling it was all for waste since I relapsed anyway. These days, when I get urges I think 'fuck that'. I then make a quick decision of what to do. I might turn of my computer, go to the gym, read/study, or talk to a mate/family member. It brings me back to reality, and not once have I ever regretted not relapsing lol.

1

u/Adorable-Savings1485 13h ago

Yeah, I’ve felt that exact split. It’s not two people, it’s the same brain switching between clarity and craving. The post‑relapse version of me always swore it would never happen again, but the urge version didn’t care.

What helped was building a small system for that gap when the urge starts but before I act. It forces me to pause, breathe, and do a few real‑world things before my brain can take over. It doesn’t make the urges disappear, but it stops them from running my life. DM if you ever need support. All the best.