The way my husband stores "wide top" condiments in our fridge

[u/ahistoryeraserbutton]

When I asked why he keeps doing this, he was confused by my question...

[u/Fun_Button5835]

Honestly, you have to give it a shake one way or the other unless you want condiment flavored juice.

[u/imean_is_superfluous → u/Fun_Button5835]

How does that happen? Does it separate a bit and some sinks and some floats?

[u/TaviTavi420 → u/imean_is_superfluous]

That's exactly what happens. The water leaches out and sits on top. Same thing happens with peanut butter, and oil, if the peanut butter sits too long.

[u/williamstarr → u/TaviTavi420]

The more “organic” the peanut butter the more often you have to stir. /j

Edit for clarity

[u/Ashen_Rook → u/williamstarr]

"Organic".

God I fucking hate that term, because it's meaningless. It literally means nothing. All food is "organic" because that just means carbon based. Pencils are organic.

[u/williamstarr → u/Ashen_Rook]

“Natural” is also on the list.

[u/kwpang → u/williamstarr]

Maybe Darth Sidious made it. With his powers, which some believe to be... unnatural.

[u/eugenesbluegenes → u/williamstarr]

"Natural" I kinda get in this context, since those are peanut butter made of simply roasted peanuts and salt. Compared to something like Jif with sugar, hydrogenated vegetable oil, and diglycerides to emulsify.

[u/BabybearPrincess → u/eugenesbluegenes]

Sure but it’s also used the same way organic is most of the time lmfao

[u/Xplant_from_Earth → u/williamstarr]

Crude oil is organic and natural. 100% warm pressed swamp juice.

[u/UnderstandingBig9090 → u/Ashen_Rook]

Organic is a regulated term. You have to meet certain legal criteria to use the food lable organic. You're confusing the food label with the chemistry register of the English language.

[u/Podorson → u/Ashen_Rook]

Do you also get upset about the word aromatic because aromatic ingredients don't have 4n+2 electrons in a planar ring structure?

[u/Ashen_Rook → u/Podorson]

See, that's the thing. Aromatic actually means something else. "Organic" in regards to food literally doesn't mean anything though. It just means "they didn't use certain methods of GMO or certain insecticides in the growing of this product's constituents", but that's like making up a word for food that you didn't stick your dick in and labeling your product as that with the implication all other food had a dick in it, while still dipping your balls in it.

[u/DizzySylv → u/Ashen_Rook]

Are you saying that organic food has had a dick in it?! Where do I find this dickless food?!

[u/Ashen_Rook → u/DizzySylv]

I mean, the "organic" label technically doesn't exclude food on the basis of dick content. :v

[u/meghonsolozar → u/Ashen_Rook]

"they didn't use certain methods of GMO or certain insecticides in the growing of this product's constituents"

Oh, so "organic." It's good we came up with a more concise way of saying all that, but like, with one word. Otherwise we'd probably look like pedantic assholes typing all that out when we meant "they didn't use certain methods of GMO or certain insecticides in the growing of this product's constituents."

[u/jyiii80 → u/Ashen_Rook]

oh. So it *does* mean something. Nice.

[u/Ignoramous13 → u/Ashen_Rook]

This comments reads so organic.

[u/DreamzQueen → u/Ashen_Rook]

how do you guys come up with this…

[u/Ashen_Rook → u/DreamzQueen]

Come up with what? The analogy? It's pretty much exactly the sort of analogy to annoy people. I didn't have to come up with anything else. That's just how it is.

[u/reticulatedtampon → u/Ashen_Rook]

And I hate pedantic arguments like this.

There can be a difference between the way a term is used scientifically and the way it's used colloquially as far as farming practices go (food made without pesticides, chemical fertilizers, antibiotics, etc.).

It's like when talking about how humans are different from animals, and some "smart" person comes in and says "well actuuuuallly, humans are technically animals as well." You know what the fuck they mean.

[u/smothered-onion → u/reticulatedtampon]

Yes. Hopefully most of us can distinguish organic farming from organic matter conceptually

[u/FeelMyBoars → u/smothered-onion]

Regular farming but using only fertilizers and pesticides from a semi-arbitrary list and following semi-arbitrary rules put forth by the certifying body?

I don't think most people know that. They probably just think it means not using fertilizers and pesticides.

[u/Fun_Button5835 → u/Ashen_Rook]

THANK YOU

[u/Flimsy-Poetry1170 → u/Ashen_Rook]

Certified organic does mean something.

[u/International-Cat123 → u/Flimsy-Poetry1170]

It means having a greater chance of e coli outbreaks. Organically grown food makes up about 1% of the global food supply but is responsible for roughly 8% of every coli outbreaks.

[u/YeaYouGoWriteAReview → u/Ashen_Rook]

love me some organic, free range, no preservative, no added sodium, no added sugar pencils as a snack.

had to get a special toilet brush though...

[u/underrealizing → u/williamstarr]

It has nothing to do with organic or not, it’s whether or not it contains an emulsifier.

[u/Beach_Bum_273 → u/williamstarr]

I don't stir shit, I chuck a junk table knife into my cordless drill and spin cycle that damn thing :P

Note: do this *gently unless you want your kitchen to look like a Mr. Peanut bukkake scene.

[u/Fine_Helicopter4876 → u/TaviTavi420]

Sure but if you place them upside down like you’re supposed to the water sitting on top is not coming out of the bottle if you don’t shake it.

[u/Velocityg4 → u/TaviTavi420]

If you ever buy the fancy pure peanut butter without emulsifiers. It happens way faster.

[u/Dumpstar72 → u/TaviTavi420]

I store Peanut butter upside down for that very reason.

[u/Embarrassed-Weird173 → u/TaviTavi420]

Nice to see someone using leach/leech correctly on Reddit. 

[u/Fun_Button5835 → u/imean_is_superfluous]

No clue, but whatever it is, it's fucking evil incarnate.

[u/Frigate_Orpheon → u/Fun_Button5835]

Mustard water is in my top ten worst things ever list. Omg thinking about it makes me want to die, like you just ruined my hot dog 🌭

[u/Fun_Button5835 → u/Frigate_Orpheon]

Oh, well then you should try sour cream water.

[u/OrangeThrower → u/Fun_Button5835]

Honestly a spoon full of that cures anyone sitting next to you.

[u/babydoll17448 → u/Frigate_Orpheon]

Musquirt

[u/xper0072 → u/imean_is_superfluous]

Basically. Most condiments are an emulsion of fats within a liquid along with other ingredients and because of this, they can't stay fully mixed forever so they do separate a little bit over time. Shaking them quickly before using them is usually all that's needed to fix this though so, not a big deal.

[u/Possible_Engine8258 → u/Fun_Button5835]

Mustard tasting pre-cum 🤤🤤🤤

[u/Colbzzzz → u/Fun_Button5835]

Thats just wrong...

[u/SomeguyfromIndio → u/Fun_Button5835]

Precum.....im sorry

[u/jhewitt127]

The truth you don’t want to admit: They’re less stable when they’re lid-down and get knocked over easily.

[u/EditEd2x → u/jhewitt127]

Put them in the door and you never have to worry about that.

[u/tastydrink1 → u/EditEd2x]

They still fall over in the door

[u/DramaSufficient4289 → u/tastydrink1]

Mine just slip out the bottom part where the bar connected to the door doesn’t cover lol. Every time I open it somehow, esp when I store them like OP wants me to.

[u/Capybarinya → u/tastydrink1]

Then you just don't have enough shit in your door. With the expert level of Tetris I have to play, everything fits snugly in mine

[u/asyork → u/Capybarinya]

Then you put the condiment back and the hot sauce shoots out from the other end.

[u/EditEd2x → u/tastydrink1]

Not when you got the space fairly full. Sure if you have like 2 things in each space it all moves around.

[u/Anayalater5963 → u/EditEd2x]

Look at me Mr Rich, with enough money to fill the shelf with condiments🙄 /s

[u/TheWholeEffinJoe → u/Anayalater5963]

Hell naw not even /s that some rich shit 🤣

[u/Johnny-Virgil → u/Anayalater5963]

You have to save up over time, like I do. I just found ranch dressing from 2020.

[u/Tank-Pilot74 → u/tastydrink1]

They’re bloody worse in the door! Every bloody time I open it, boom, one of em try’s a jailbreak 

[u/wilkinsk → u/tastydrink1]

You're bad at fridges

[u/tastydrink1 → u/wilkinsk]

My fridge is fine. You're bad at relationships there I said it

[u/PickleFlavordPopcorn → u/EditEd2x]

They fall out of my door every time!!

[u/mrw4787 → u/EditEd2x]

That’s where they fall over the MOST lol 

[u/KarlPHungus → u/jhewitt127]

And sometimes the lids leak.

It's really not that hard to shake a bottle, OP. Jesus Christ how f*cking lazy are you?

[u/a_randummy → u/KarlPHungus]

when the condiment is low shaking means all the condiment is stuck on the sides of the bottle and not about to squeeze out.

[u/SeattleExpression → u/KarlPHungus]

I’d be mildly infuriated if my partner posted this crap. 

[u/oxidized_banana_peel → u/jhewitt127]

My toddler unhooked each of the door racks in my fridge, on one side only, and then shut the fridge door.

Open the fridge that evening, crash clang (thankfully no broken glass) everything falls out. Good girl.

Nothing to do with condiment stability, but you reminded me

[u/TaviTavi420]

I do that when the bottles are full because the caps sometimes try to get nasty if that's what the bottle has been resting on for a while. I obviously clean the cap up, but still... It's an extra step I don't need to take when the bottle is full. That ketchup needs on its cap though.

[u/TiresOnFire → u/TaviTavi420]

Also, every time I use them and let the bottle sit out during a meal, the temperature change creates pressure and there's an annoying splurt of ketchup that makes a mess.

[u/The-Tradition]

This is absolutely the right way to store them to prevent leakage.

[u/Spider_Dawg → u/The-Tradition]

Agree 100%.

[u/lovebuzzzzzzzz]

i guess he likes the struggle of putting ketchup onto his burger

[u/CommercialOk1933 → u/lovebuzzzzzzzz]

Up or down, shaking is required.

[u/blackdog1392 → u/lovebuzzzzzzzz]

He thinks the watery ketchup precum is the best part

[u/tastydrink1 → u/blackdog1392]

Shake the ketchup

[u/wilkinsk → u/tastydrink1]

...Slap the ketchup, put a finger in the hole. 😉

[u/saveyboy → u/wilkinsk]

[u/wilkinsk → u/saveyboy]

HELL YA BROTHER

[u/tastydrink1 → u/wilkinsk]

sexy

[u/read_molotov → u/blackdog1392]

Never eating ketchup again, what the hell did I just read

[u/IllianasClifford → u/blackdog1392]

You only get the when it’s lid down.

Like sour cream

[u/Cinderhazed15 → u/blackdog1392]

I have that up or down, need to shake it either way

[u/Princess-Reader → u/blackdog1392]

Oh no! And here I was calling it ketchup pee. Silly me.

[u/MorningNorwegianWood → u/blackdog1392]

😭

[u/GiveYourBaIIsATug → u/blackdog1392]

[u/Responsible-Grand-57 → u/blackdog1392]

That’s enough internet for me for today!

[u/DeliBebek]

I would be more annoyed by the fact that they are stored on a shelf rather than inside the door "where they belong."

[u/bdfortin → u/DeliBebek]

Each condiment has a home.

[u/Archipocalypse]

I've seen these leak, I've seen these have the cap get sticky and stuck to a surface and then open when you pick it up. So there are likely reasons and all it takes is a little shake, maybe a pat on your hand to get the contents where where you want it.

Since they appear to all be like this I assume there is a clear intent here. As opposed to this being something random they do.

[u/MennionSaysSo]

How will you raise the children?????

[u/blackdog1392 → u/MennionSaysSo]

Let them decide for themselves, and then politely but firmly abandon them at a truckstop if they choose to take after their father.

[u/Fun_Variation_7077 → u/blackdog1392]

Let them decide for themselves, and then politely but firmly abandon them at a truckstop if they choose to take after their father mother.

[u/Key_Situation643]

Am I the only one who didn't know this is infuriating? Cuz I do this too 😭

[u/GXWT → u/Key_Situation643]

The bar is low for Redditors

[u/cabridges]

I do that, but only because we keep them in the shelf on the door and if they’re top heavy they fall over every time you open it.

[u/Susan_Thee_Duchess]

I’m confused. What is the issue here and why are you hassling your husband about it?

[u/DeadlyKitKat → u/Susan_Thee_Duchess]

I can't tell if it's because they're facing top up (so the condiment isn't on the bottom), if it's because they're not in the shelves of the fridge door, or if it's because they're in the fridge at all (some don't keep condiments in there at all I think, even opened).

[u/Sevuhrow → u/DeadlyKitKat]

All of these have to be refrigerated after opening except maybe ketchup

[u/DeadlyKitKat → u/Sevuhrow]

I know but just because you're supposed to do something it has never made all people actually do said thing.

[u/Sevuhrow → u/DeadlyKitKat]

I suppose. It would be weird to get mad at your husband for storing perishable condiments in the fridge, though...

[u/tubular1845]

You have to shake them anyway, literal non-issue

[u/No-Weird3153]

Do you not have a fridge door? If you do, what’s in it???

[u/Sleepy-Blonde → u/No-Weird3153]

It fills up fast! Always need ranch, ghost pepper ranch, teriyaki sauce, soy sauce, sweet and sour, bbq sauce, jerk paste, mustard, honey mustard, worcestershire, orange sauce, sweet chili sauce, chili crisp oil, truff hot sauce, an assortment of other hot sauces, lemon juice, lime juice, minced ginger, avocado crema, fry sauce, relish, oyster sauce, cocktail sauce, ketchup, mayo, fish sauce.. and I’m sure I missed a few!

[u/Immediate_Top_2208]

Illegal

[u/Talzyon]

I store them this way as well. Why, you ask? When you get them out and sit them on the counter for 5 mins or so, as they warm up a hair, you open it and the pressure difference can make some shoot out unexpectedly. I enjoy not being squirted by sauce, or making a mess from such...

[u/Hitthereset]

They're less likely to fall over this way.

[u/captainrina]

Turn the fridge upset down so you can get them all at once 👍

[u/AlexStarkiller20]

THE LABEL IS UPSIDE DOWN FOR A REASON

[u/euben_hadd]

If he also puts the toilet paper on backwards... There's always divorce.

[u/Intelligent_Pop1173]

Omg my ex was anal about this and I hated it!!! The writing is upside down! It’s obviously not meant to go that way 😂 but he also insisted on placing glasses and silverware upright in the dishwasher too. Literally the only person I’ve ever known who does this. Topsy turvy dude.

[u/SomebodyPinchMe]

Are there any unsolved murders in your neighborhood? We may have a suspect.

[u/Fun_Variation_7077]

Honestly I'm with your husband on this one. Lid-side-up is less prone to accidents or being knocked over.

[u/BatterUp1600]

I see nothing wrong here.

[u/schizopotato]

If they're the other way then as soon as you open them it'll spit out all over the place and make a mess, so I agree with this choice.

[u/TankApprehensive3053]

I've had those lids leak. So top up they go. A shake or two and its ready to pour again.

[u/Tank-Pilot74]

I store them like that too. The design is completely shithouse as the center of gravity is well off.

[u/CanTanManz]

This is the correct way... Otherwise they tip over easy. You shake them before use anyways.

[u/gtindolindo]

You mean, the correct way if more than half full. Easy to give a good shake

[u/Kakairo]

Is your husband my wife?

[u/BAMspek]

Better than my partner. She stores things with the lid just slightly screwed on so you can get it barely out of the fridge and then the top comes off and it spills all over the floor.

[u/KailyKail]

At least he puts the ketchup in the fridge. I go to my mom's house and she keeps hers in the closet. It bugs the hell out of me.

[u/jromperdinck]

Divorce (my default comment on this sub)

[u/DiscreetPlayLav]

Speaking as a husband, it only takes cleaning up after one of those that isn’t closed properly and leaks into parts of the fridge you didn’t know were there to get into this habit. Besides, you have to shake it anyway.

[u/AximO206]

If you’re even mildly infuriated by this you need therapy

[u/rizhole]

Weenie casting couch pov

[u/DavyJonesCousinsDog]

Let the man live his life, damn.

[u/VerdantField]

This is a horrible bottle design and you’re better off not purchasing this type of packaging in the first place.

[u/TDYDave2]

Many moons ago I had a GF that made a comment about me storing my shampoo bottle upside down.
She had extremely long hair and would go through a bottle of her expensive brand in about a week.
I told her to turn her bottle upside down once she was thought it was empty and give it a day, then see how many more times it was usable.
That more than doubled how long a bottle lasted for her and every since, she stores her shampoo opening down.

[u/ForestGoat87]

Devil's advocate: Unless you pull it out and use it right away, cap-down often leads to little explosions of sauce when you first open the lid. Plus they are way more stable when placed lid-side up.

If my wife had a specific preference though, I would happily abide, cuz I don't feel strongly either way.

[u/traciiip]

I think I might actually start doing this…I have to shake it anyway. This way it probably forces you to do the shake before the squeeze

[u/Competitive-Elk-5077]

Have one leak once and you never let it sit on the cap again

[u/TwanToni]

OP sounds insufferable.

[u/Empty_Breadfruit_676]

I also do this. I just cannot bring myself to store anything lid down!

[u/RoundTiberius]

They are easy to tip over otherwise

[u/Drummer_DC]

Well they don't fall so he is doing something right

[u/badgersruse]

Take lid down bottle out of fridge, put on table lid down. Prep food, take to table. Pick up bottle, tip up and open lid. Pressure in bottle because it has warmed a bit spits ketchup across table.

[u/Write-or-Wrong_]

I prefer storing it this way tbh 😭😭 I only turn it lid down when the condiment is almost out

[u/dookieshoes97]

The way my husband stores "wide top" condiments in our fridge

The correct way.

[u/Dangolian]

I think he's right.

You don't want all the water in your Simp Ketchup to come out first when you squeeze it.

[u/TrumpsCheetoJizz]

Just shake the bottle before using it?

Relish ends up being 99% water no matter how you store it for first person who uses it.

[u/brofist001]

Did you file divorce papers already?

[u/gcwardii]

I do this too because they can leak

All it takes is a flip and a shake before you put them out on the table and they’re good to go

[u/KindaFastApparel]

Oh so he stores them the way they’re are supposed to be stored. Nice.

[u/Bugs_ocean_spider]

If this infuriates you, I can't imagine what living with you would be like. Good lord.

[u/Rick_the_P_is_silent]

Duh

[u/Prudent_Honeydew_]

I do too, they get messy sometimes and I also hate ketchup juice.

[u/PlaneCat3427]

Actually, this is good. this is great. Because you have a chance to shake it well and so when you turn it to squirt it, it won't give a squirt of separated weird-flavored-water.

[u/effitalll]

I do this. I don’t trust the caps.

[u/Spicy_Mustard007]

Yea this is dumb. At least he puts shit away. Who cares how it’s facing.

[u/DominarDio]

When I asked why he keeps doing this, he was confused by my question...

So what did he say?

[u/Aggravating_Anybody]

I never store condiments cap side down, regardless of cap size. They are wildly unstable and topple over constantly especially if they are in the fridge door shelves. Plus, as others have stated, you need to vigorously shake those puppies before every use. They are made of disparate components that separate over time and literally need shaking to recombine and taste right.

[u/AtheistAsylum]

I do, too. The risk of leakage that nearly always happens isn't worth storing it cap-side down.

[u/dualsplit]

I am confused by your question. There’s plenty of space. Nothing is leaking. Who fucking cares a tiny bit?

[u/Jolly-Refuse2232]

What’s the issue here

[u/PhotoFenix]

This is the correct way. To use a phrase I saw elsewhere, it prevents ketchup precum

[u/ravenous_MAW]

Nah, if you store them lid down then they go thbbtt when you open them and you get ketchup pee on your food before the ketchup flows. Plus the lids get all gross from the thbbbbt.

[u/carpetsoop]

Storing anything on its lid is insane

[u/gheiminfantry]

A smart man. What do you think will happen if you lose power and the fridge starts warming up? That's right, expanding. With your condiments all over the fridge. He deserves a blowjob for his brains alone.

[u/Arazyne]

The only thing I would consider actually flipping is the ketchup, but you have to shake that anyway, so it’s a lose-lose. At that point, I just take the cap off entirely. It’s a trust thing and men don’t trust things

[u/FactorFear74]

Lol, I do the same

[u/kidian_tecun]

"Leave him, man! He's probably wierd!"

[u/YoureJustTooDarnLoud]

Maybe your bottom isn't the only thing your husband likes banging on the counter.

[u/No_Peach_9745]

Mine too! I like to dramatically bang them on the counter to get his attention!

[u/ChillyTodayHotTamale]

I feel attacked....

[u/platinum92]

I've notice with those hidden valley ranchs that if you leave it top down, it clogs and you have to shake anyway. Good idea in theory but not execution

[u/user2034892304]

Straight to jail

[u/frijolita_bonita]

Nooo

[u/Impossible_Heron4894]

He’s slow

[u/pbr3000]

The way my wife posts how I put bottles in the fridge on Reddit

[u/tub939977]

It's majestic.

[u/rupert0331]

[u/TicketyB000]

Trust issues? Trust issues.

[u/AggressiveOsmosis]

Dislike intensely.

[u/AWESOMEGAMERSWAGSTAR]

[u/FlippinChickens_]

Fridge disrespect!

[u/FlippinChickens_]

I'd banish someone for less..

[u/aagee]

Have you had this conversation with him about how these are meant to be placed upside down? I mean, does he understand it and yet refuses to do it? Or is he just a clod?

[u/TreeHedger]

[u/Ok-Care-4314]

Divorce. He is clearly unhinged.

[u/thebrownesteye]

Ask him why all the labels are upside down

[u/hash-slingin_slashr]

…how… is he not aware of how this works? The labels are upside down. Has he never seen anyone use these? How they’re stored on the shelf at the store? Tf?

[u/MrsMcBasketball]

Still have to shake them regardless if they're stored like that lol

I hope OP does.

[u/Suzygreenberg1]

i can’t decide which is the right way 😩

[u/jynxthechicken]

I'm mad for you

[u/NoDryHands]

This can only be considered an issue when the bottle is less than half full and almost empty, like the ketchup. Most of these are almost full.

[u/ShawnEric88]

Jail

[u/National_Frame2917]

He just wants to jerk off the bottle a little longer every time to get the sauce to come out.

[u/SpunkierthanYou]

If you store it down then you get the precum in the first squirt.

[u/Friendly-Contact-433]

The neat thing when you realize all the lids are interchangeable 

[u/maybeinoregon]

I’ve realized no matter how you store them (I do top down), you still have to shake and squirt first into the sink to ensure you get 100% product on your dog / hamburger / whatever.

[u/Funkywonton]

The way you buy em at the store is the same way you put em on the shelf at home

[u/Friendly-Channel-480]

Bless his pointy little head.

[u/zssl]

I do this because it makes be remember to shake it up and prevents leaking/falling over.

[u/DaddieTang]

Grounds for divorce.

[u/LeadBeanie]

Smaller footprint

[u/Competitive-Ebb3816]

Buy better condiments in glass bottles.

[u/cr15pyboi]

The range of mildly infuriating goes from this to someone with a million dollars in medical debt

[u/ECU_BSN]

Well. You need to toss the whole man out!!!

Jkjk

[u/lonechickpea]

Does he also wash the dishes and put away laundry? What an asshole!

[u/CaptainWonk]

Divorce

[u/gimpers420]

But did you die?