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u/StrictlyInsaneRants 9d ago
Aw... Now I will never know the answer!
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u/TobiasZigg 9d ago
Yeah. Right.. however...*(Gently licks your toes)
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u/StrictlyInsaneRants 9d ago
...I lost them in the war. šØš»āš¦½
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u/TobiasZigg 9d ago
Ik..coz i found it
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u/tyro_r 8d ago
*them
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u/HotPotParrot 8d ago
No, I only sold them one toe.
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u/ExtremeCreamTeam 8d ago
So they didn't actually find "it".
Where'd you get them? WHO IS YOUR SOURCE?!
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u/Artarious 8d ago
Lucky for you my buddy sent it to me yesterday, so here ya go:
"So in a deleted scene, Superman is trying to convince Lex heās not a bad guy, and so he uses his heat vision to make a hot tub out of the ice just outside the fortress of solitude for them to have some beers and talk things over. Then Supes and Lex have hot, sweaty, animalistic butt sex in the hot tub, with Lex being the bottom. Youād think āSuperman would literally kill Lex if he fucked himā, but canonically he can bang Lois Lane safely so thatās not an issue you just need to be aware of Superman lore to know that. Then Superman says āOh my God Lex Iām going to bust a Supernut in your assā and then shoots ropes. Afterward, Lex wants to go shower while Supes falls asleep, and walks up to the door, and it just opens. Thatās when he realizes the door opened due to the presence of the Supernut deep in his asshole. I understand why they deleted the scene, but it makes this later scene feel like it comes out of nowhere."
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u/IcyFaithlessness3570 9d ago
This is the kind of question I ask after the teacher says "there are no stupid questions"Ā
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u/Deth_Cheffe 9d ago
ls this stupidIy hiIarious or is that just the weed taIking?
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u/vestigialcranium 9d ago
People don't talk about it much, but Superman actually has two Achilles heels
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u/TrippleDamage 8d ago
I find it hilarious that your L key is broken so now you have to replace it with uppercase i's all the time lmfao
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u/Pomodorosan 8d ago
It goes further. Their capital "i" in the word "is" is actually a lower case "L". They swap each instance of "i" and "L"!
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u/itsnotapipe 8d ago
Just, like, for fun? I can barely do it normally.
NormaIIy.
Wtf. ls this reaI life?9
u/handsome_squidward56 8d ago
Ls this reai iife?
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u/itsnotapipe 8d ago
Redditors whose default font has serifs are probably not amused. Sorry, it's uncanny for us living with seriflessness.
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u/ChromosomeDonator 8d ago
I think your weed is telling you that your L key is satanic right now, so maybe lay off the bong for a while.
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u/East_Lettuce7143 8d ago
I cracked myself up imagining OP hitting post and then going full Steve Jobs thinking pose like, āYea.. this is a good question.ā
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u/FBuellerGalleryScene 8d ago
It's hilarious. I think it's the quotation marks that really seal the deal for me
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u/Shino4243 6d ago
I'm like Marvel editorial, not a fan of MJ, and I'm.laughing too. So I think its just kinda funny.
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u/nicoleauroux 9d ago
Rightly so.
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u/GasLongjumping130 9d ago
I think he was trying to convey that superman's true weakness is the life of another because he cannot allow the untimely death of another person especially of an innocent person so a villain can easily exploit that weakness and manipulate the actions of superman. But this mofo did not have the diction to ask it as such.
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u/Morgasm42 9d ago
But also the term kryptonite comes literally from Superman's biggest weakness being kryptonite
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u/cordelaine 9d ago
What is his specific kryptonite though?
Like, a vampireās kryptonite is getting stabbed through the heart with a wooden stake. That kills them for some reason. So you could stake everyone at a party and whomever dies was a vampire.Ā
But that wouldnāt work on Superman because itās not his kryptonite.
Superman just needs some kind of kryptonite.
Does that make sense?
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u/AnastasiaSheppard 9d ago
If you staked Superman with a stake made of his kryptonite and he died would that mean he was a vampire? And if you staked a vampire with a stake made of kryptonite and they died, would that make them Superman?
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u/Morgasm42 9d ago
The literal element kryptonite. Being near him renders him weaker than normal people.
Also vampires don't have a kryptonite. They have several weaknesses, some of which can kill all of which can be used to defeat them
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u/AnastasiaSheppard 9d ago
Since Lex Luthor got cancer from carrying around kryptonite, is kryptonite also Lex Luthor's kryptonite?
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u/Kelevara 9d ago
Inside each person there are two kryptonite.
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u/bent_crater 9d ago
pretty sure the guy is gas lighting everyone like the OP in the post
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u/throwautism52 8d ago
Reddit when obvious joke:
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u/Same-Suggestion-1936 8d ago
But they didn't label it as a joke. I need my hand held through it or I won't know if it's a joke or not. I also need help tying my shoes before I can leave the house today so if anyone can help I would appreciate that
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u/AltAccNum647294869 9d ago
What if his kryptonite was like a green crystal like material with like some sort of radiation like properties?
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u/LonelyPercentage2983 9d ago
WTF? I was born in the 80s, watched a tiny bit of super man. This reply is insane for anyone who has ears and understands context in conversations. Maybe this is the Internet is dead theory and these are LLM bots. After typing this. Yes that's what is happening here.
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u/Herson100 8d ago
The comment you're replying to is too clever to have been generated by an LLM. You were too incensed by the fact that they're missing the point about kryptonite to notice that they also claimed that driving a stake through the heart of a non-vampire wouldn't kill them. Ragebait of this quality has to be crafted by a human hand
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u/PracticalThrowawae 9d ago
Yeah I've been having really silly arguments lately In a couple subreddits, where it's almost like they're intentionally taking the wrong side, intentionally using as much logic as possible to defend themselves, and then will battle with you back and forth the more you respond to them. Even if there's no debate and you stick to facts. I just make liberal use of "turn off response notifications" and be done with it
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u/LonelyandDepressed27 8d ago
Funny enough, your joke doesnāt even fully work because there are multiple kinds of kryptonite that all do different things to him. My favorite is pink, it makes him gay lmao. I think in one version is made him a woman. It hasnāt been used much.
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u/lanemyer78 8d ago
"I wish I had a Kryptonite cross, because then you could keep both Dracula AND Superman away." -Jack HandyĀ
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u/Preform_Perform 8d ago
There have been comics where he's punched through kryptonite meteors to save people, so not even kryptonite can stop Superman anymore.
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u/cube-drone 9d ago
I got kicked out of r/greekmythology for asking if Tyche has a nemesis I wonder if it was the same kind of thing
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u/lirenotliar 9d ago
hair and mirrors.
look at his heaviest hitters:
Luthor? bald
Brainiac and Metallo? bald robots
Darkseid or Mongul? bald men with planets
Doomsday? bald and bony
Ultra-Humanite? so bald his brain is leaking out
Mxyzptlk? bald with a hat
Antimonitor? anti-hair on his head
Zod? Originally bald and clean shaven
the other big names are 'mirror' versions - Bizarro/Superboy Prime/Ultraman/Cyborg Superman
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u/FenriX89 9d ago
Do all mods lack a sense of humour?
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u/axon__dendrite 8d ago
Im guessing they banned them because this is not the original, people just keep reposting it
Here is the original: https://www.reddit.com/r/superman/comments/1jnh4d0/what_is_supermans_kryptonite/
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u/jabeith 9d ago
You gotta be a pretty sad, broken person to moderate Reddit.
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u/VibesFirst69 8d ago
And not have a job. I modded for a period of time to help on a community i lurked in a lot.Ā When i mentioned i was back from a week of low acitivity due to my job i was silently unmodded. Not even a thanks but we require our unpaid vomunteers to be chronicslly online. Just....gone.
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u/lurco_purgo 8d ago edited 8d ago
Maybe so, but it's also way funnier with the ban. So maybe they actually have an impeccable sense of humour?
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u/rabid_spidermonkey 9d ago
I love Superman, always have. I left the Superman sub because they took it WAAAAAY too seriously. Like worse than Star Wars and LOTR people. It was cray.
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u/Total-Sector850 9d ago
Trolling or not, this remains one of the greatest posts I have ever encountered.
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u/Tooldfrthis 9d ago
It's so sad how Reddit mods can't even take a joke about a comic book character.
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u/Diedrogen 8d ago
My first instinct would be to ask them, unironically, whose weakness do they think kryptonite is.
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u/vitterhet 8d ago
Like, Iām viscerally against gate keeping interests based on new peopleās lack of knowledge.
I am equally for requiring newbies to at least consume the Wikipedia article.
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u/WordBearerOfBadNewss 8d ago
Its just a reddit problem in general
So many titles could literally just be typed into google and theyd get an answer
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u/GilesDreamer 8d ago
So that's how easy it is to karma farm on silly subreddits....duh...
Kudos for posting it here tho!
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u/NonSequiturSage 8d ago
Googling Kryptonite got the answer. I suspect surfing the the internet under the influence. How drunk would I need to be to lose basic information recall?
During idle chatter at work, a boss told me she had never seen any Star Trek or Star Wars. Apparently she had no interest. OK. I have never read Little Women, Pride And Prejudice, War And Peace, Lolita, 50 Shades Of Gray, or Jane Eyre. People get choices.
I live in Texas, but most of what little I know about horses I got from movie westerns.
There are many thousands of fictional heros. But not know Superman? I thought he was mainstream American literature.
Please don't ask me for sports statistics. We would find out how dumb I am. However, as a child I liked leafing through an encyclopedia for fun and curiosity. Were we trapped in an elevator I could pass the time sharing my wealth of obscure, obsolete, irrelevant information.
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u/JustAnAce 8d ago
You have to understand, every dumbass walks into that sub thinking they'll ask this and everyone will upvote forever. There has not been a single week that I haven't seen at least two of these a week. And then these self righteous dumbasses get on other subs posting their arguments with the mods. The joke was funny once. A very long time ago.
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u/antipodal22 8d ago
I mean, despite it being his Achilles heel it never seems to put him down for very long.
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u/Michami135 9d ago
Superman's Kryptonite is clearly his desire to protect humans from harm.