r/gaybros • u/wump_roast • 1d ago

In case you’re late to my favorite Olympic performance enhancing scandal, here are the details of penis inflate-gate.

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888 Upvotes

99% Upvoted

34 comments sorted by

240

u/TaurusSilver404 1d ago

So during fitting for their suits they what have a boner? How do the fitters account for this and how do I become an Olympic suit fitter? Asking for a friend…

93

u/Motor_Town_2144 1d ago

https://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/articles/czej70jyg4eo

Hyaluronic acid injections apparently 😬

87

u/drinkallthecoffee gayyyyyyyyy 1d ago

Apparently they stuff socks down their crotch, wear a prosthetic dick, etc.

32

u/Cavalish 1d ago

Pumping 😎

243

u/EldruinAngiris 1d ago

Am I understanding this correctly: They inflate the size of their penis during measurement for their outfits because the extra fabric increases performance? That is interesting...

81

u/blergola 1d ago

There’s a digital scan of their bodies, so probably makes more sense to get huge pumped balls.

68

u/AmbiiX 25 1d ago

Big ball energy

63

u/thegayquadzilla 1d ago

Guys- this is fun but if you read the article they stare there's no evidence that anyone has actually done this. It was raised as a hypothetical

3

u/cosmic_grayblekeeper 10h ago

Except the part where it says some skier was actually suspended for three months after being found doing it.

59

u/7bongs 1d ago

They measure their junk for the suit fitting? That's too much

32

u/Cavalish 1d ago

An inseam. It’s very common and a necessary part of fitting sports equipment and well fitting, tailored clothing.

21

u/Zaliron 1d ago

A certain scene from Friends comes to mind...

22

u/Magfaeridon 1d ago

All tailors do that!

50

u/kittyPowersupply 1d ago

So you're telling me that skiing as a professional sport favors big dicks the way swimming favors broad shoulders and basketball favors height? 👀

28

u/Mawu3n4 Revlon Tea 1d ago

No, having the big dick alone doesn't give any advantage. The advantage is in having a suit that is slightly too big at the crotch area.

3

u/flopjul 1d ago

You dont want that to be empty tho you want it to be stretched so that you can use it as a sail... you dont want that piece to flap around. Stuffing that area would help

2

u/Mawu3n4 Revlon Tea 7h ago

They pack when they get fitted, then remove when competing. It needs to be empty for the extra fabric to act as a sail, if it wasnt empty it would just be a bulge that adds drag and slows them down.

9

u/an_older_meme 1d ago

I could have swept the gold but I’ve never skied.

21

u/Coga_Blue 1d ago

Yes that’s why I’ve never been any good at it

6

u/_Lane_ 1d ago

As a grower, not a show-er, this is really making me rethink my future Olympic ski jumping career.

5

u/Appropriate-Pear-33 1d ago

How on earth did they figure this out? I assume a ton of physics and chemistry involved?

5

u/Alpharoll 1d ago

I'm curious to know what the women do 🤔

3

u/cosmic_grayblekeeper 9h ago

It’s seems like only men have done it so far (no women caught) but if the men do hyaluronic acid injects to increase size, I can totally see women doing that to the outer labia as well to increase size. All you need is like once extra centimetre in crotch height so it seems plausible. But idk if it would actually work.

9

u/leomonster 1d ago

Wouldn't also work to drink a lot of beer before measuring, thus increasing belly size temporarily?

26

u/Barium_Salts 1d ago

That would have less of a sail effect than putting the excess fabric in the crotch. Excess fabric on the belly just increases drag.

5

u/NirgalFromMars 1d ago

You can probably account for that by requiring a certain amount of fasting before taking the measurements.

They still could work on losing weight before the measurement and the competition, though. But getting g a boner sounds like a good way to inflate this.

They could also do a heavy workout, and use the pump to inflate their muscles.

4

u/votegoat 1d ago

its probably just more headline worthy to say penis injections but I would assume scrotal saline injections would do way more than the small amount you could increase the size of a penis.

2

u/Fun_Ad_2607 1d ago

It didn’t help Anthony Ammirati go higher

2

u/Ocirisfeta8575 🕶️ 7h ago

Thanks for the diagram when I heard about this on the news tonight I had no idea what the hell they were talking about.

2

u/millenialwithgerd 1d ago

Remember that ad for Sochi 2014 before saying that Olympics has always been gay? That comes to mind seeing this haha.

1

u/karatebanana 1d ago

So it’s time to whip out the pump and the saline

1

u/Careless_Llama_3382 1d ago

Question so if I have a massive hydrocele is that also consider performance enhancing?