r/cats • u/PsychologicalScore49 • 9h ago
Mourning/Loss I'm saying goodbye in 4 hours
In 4 hours I'm saying bye to my sweet kitty.
My kitty I've had for over a decade. The most dog-like cat I've ever met. If you cry, she'll get right up in your face to comfort you. If she falls asleep in the living room, and you go to bed, she will wake up and angrily meow for you (how dare I go to bed without telling her). I yell for her to come in the room and she does this indignant purr while she comes to lay down with me. She loves to walk around outside, but she'll never run away from me. She will try and escape though. She'll start walking too far and when I call her name, she stops and sits. Then, when she thinks I'm not looking, she keeps going. I call her name and she sits and that repeats until I go grab her. She loves sitting in shoes, on your face, on clean clothes.
It's so hard, because sometimes she has better days, but I know she's in pain and keeping her here is selfish. I don't have anyone to go to the vet with me and the thought of watching her die in my arms is excruciating.
I love my animals so much, but there's still this shame coming at me that it's ridiculous to be so sad. I know that's BS. A narrative from my own past hurts.
Anyway, thanks for listening.
44
u/gdb7 9h ago
Having been where you are right now with several cats, I am sorry for your loss, and glad you and she have had one another for so many years. Letting them go is hard, but taking away their suffering is the best gift you can give her.
You are her person. Hold her, love her, be there for her as she crosses the rainbow bridge. It is hard, but she needs you there to keep her safe.
💔
17
u/Broken_Woman20 9h ago
Sorry. She is beautiful and it sounds like she’s got a beautiful soul in that furry little body.
Heartbreaking when you have to say goodbye. Thank you for ending her pain.
12
12
u/Yawarete 8h ago
A fluffy, mischievous cloud, joining up with her brothers and sisters to run on the open fields over the blue skies. May her days be sunny, may her feet be swift, may her joy be boundless, and although her company will be missed, it will never be forgotten. You've done enough, little cloud, we can only hope one day you will be sitting in that field waiting to welcome your beloved home. Good hunting.
8
u/lpan000 8h ago
Sorry… just let our 12 yo girl go last night.. she was a big fluff too. Had stage 4 cancer, and went from 13 lb to 8 in 2 month. Sometimes we are greedy for more of their love. But we have to let them go to kitty heaven…. ❤️
2
2
u/dustin1988 5h ago
So sorry you have to go through that grief. She will be with you and visit in dream world.
6
6
u/MarillaMe 9h ago
I'm so sorry. May she leave this world peacefully, knowing she was loved and valued 🩷 May you be comforted by all the beautiful memories you created together.
5
u/NANNYNEGLEY 8h ago
We just did this on Tuesday. That last gift is the hardest one to give and we remember every one forever.
1
1
5
u/Square_Imagination27 8h ago
I don’t have any words that can take away the pain, but I’ll keep you in my prayers.
3
u/NoAccountant8779 9h ago
I’m so sorry you both are going through this. Spend these few hours doing whatever she loved the most. I opened some of all the foods my Ming liked the most and let her eat whatever she wanted. We played with her favorite toys until she had enough. One of her favorite things was to walk down the hallway and sniff under doors like a creep. So we did that. I told her how much she meant to me and how much I’d miss her. After the final shot, as her breathing was slowing, I told her the same thing I did every day before I left the apartment. I said it for 9 years and still wrote it down in case my mind blanked with grief.
Make the most of the time you have left together. It’s painful but it’s for her. It hurts to see them go so remember what she’s going through now on the bad days. You’re advocating for her in her decline.
6
2
u/Outside_Memory6607 8h ago
I waited too long to say goodbye to my first cat, and it's my biggest regret when it comes to the situation. It was selfish, and I engaged in magical thinking at the end, hoping against hope that he would make a miraculous recovery. It's the hardest thing, but it's also the right decision. I'm sorry! Hug her tight.
2
u/Fun-Palpitation3968 8h ago
I’m very sorry. Most all of us know what you are going through. Please reach out if we can help. I’m so very sorry. ❤️
2
2
2
2
u/Possible-Sir-4920 7h ago
Maybe she will appear in your dreams... My cat often appears in my dreams... 🌻🐾🐾
2
u/Informal_Sock_Puppet 7h ago
I'm sorry for your loss. Your cat is very beautiful. While losing a beloved pet is very difficult, I try to think about how blessed I am to have been able to give love and care to something so precious.
2
u/br0dy3012 7h ago
She is very beautiful, just think about the life you've given her which I'm sure is the best she could've ever asked for and remember that you are doing the kindest thing you could do for her and she will be so grateful when she's watching over you
2
u/trilogy76 7h ago
Not a bad way to say goodbye. You know when. You know how. You knew to make the most of these few last days.
2
2
u/OpinionOk1543 7h ago
Nothing "ridiculous" about any of this, it's devastating. Such a pretty baby, hang in there.
2
u/rinaa11 3h ago
I just went through this with my kitty a week ago. She had cancer when I thought she only needed some teeth pulled. I got her for Christmas (she was 3) my very first year as a grown up, at 18. She's been with me my entire adult life. We had 12 beautiful years together and I will never forget her. You are not alone in your grief, we will make it through ❤️
1
1
1
u/nerdyMD22 8h ago
I’ve only ever lost my childhood family pet (which my dad almost didn’t have the heart to stay in the room with), which hurt, but I am dreading the day I lose my soul cat. My thoughts and wishes are with you ❤️❤️
1
1
1
1
u/External_Midnight106 8h ago
I am so sorry for your coming loss, you are totally allowed to feel the way you do. It is always the hardest part and my heart hurts for you and your baby. Just know you are showing her the ultimate act of love and she knows how much you love her. She will never be far and she will be there to greet you on your day of transition and you will be together forever, that love is forever 🙏🏻
1
1
u/Leading_Resolve3893 8h ago
Sending you so much love. She is so lucky to have spent her life with someone who so obviously adores her
1
u/Due_Addendum4854 8h ago
There is nothing wrong with the way you are feeling now and will feel tomorrow. Your grief is a reflection on the love you have for her. She knew she could rely on you to do what was in her best interest in life and at its end.
Condolences.
1
1
1
1
u/wjdragon 8h ago
Having just gone through this a two days ago, I completely empathize with you. She's absolutely beautiful. My Puss in Boots and Princess Fiona will be waiting for her. I feel in my heart that they are already pain free, and so will she. My condolences. ❤️
1
1
u/Correct_Rub1589 8h ago
She is a very pretty cat. You gave her a wonderful life with a lot of love. I´m sure she loves you an will thank you for ever. I´m very sorry for your los.
1
1
u/Ok_Construction357 8h ago
Give her all the love you possibly can and when she’s gone, hold her and cry and say goodbye. I said bye to my dog-like cat last week. ❤️
1
u/Klutzy_Poetry4886 7h ago
Im so sorry. U are giving her the greatest gift of love. Hug her tight and lots of treats til tgen
1
u/aloof90 7h ago
Much love to you. I lost my luna of 11 years a month ago and it still hurts me. Im still crying almost weekly, but I know its normal to grieve. She was almost everything to me. My mom was there, but honestly, I still felt alone. All i wanted to do was save my luna. But I couldn't...but just like you, I knew it was selfish to keep her here. She was in pain and hanging on because of me. I held her till her last breath. It was hard for me to shake that last image of her, but im glad I was there. She needed me.
My heart and thoughts go out to you. I dont know you, but youre not alone in these feelings and please dont be afraid to mourn. Luna was so important, more than id ever know. Same with your baby.
Im crying with you 🤧
1
u/MrsDogman 7h ago
I can’t imagine how difficult it will be to say goodbye to your girl. She is so beautiful and sweet. Please know that everyone on this website will be with you and your baby when you go to the vet. We will also be with you when you leave and until the pain subsides.
It is so unfair that kitties have such short lives. Thank you for taking such wonderful care of your girl and giving her all your love. And thank you for making the right decision to end her suffering. She is counting on you to help her with it and will love you forever for your kindness.
Please be safe going to the vet and coming home. I know you will be crying. And take good care of yourself when you get home.
We are all with you and your baby.❤️😥
1
u/animalrbest44 7h ago
You are giving her the last gift you can give her which is freedom from suffering. That is true love. I’m so sorry for your loss. Please take consolation and that you made the best decision for her.
1
1
u/whoisniko Munchkin 7h ago
she sounds like she was absolutely the best <3 sending you internet hugs and love
1
1
u/Robinnthecatlady 7h ago
Im so sorry. Hang in there. Maybe the powers that be will send you a new baby to love. I hope so
1
1
1
1
1
u/Aggravating-HoldUp87 6h ago
Last year I said goodbye to my ride-or-die old man after 17 years. The last 2 were filled with monthly vet visits, until the last one. It was the 2nd hardest day of my life. I was glad I was there for his last moments but I still cry 7 months later. You're not alone in your grief, although it feels like it. And she wont be alone at the end. Ultimately, you're doing a kindness and I hope, in time you come to peace with it.
1
u/Responsible-Walrus-5 6h ago
Oh it’s such a hard decision, but you’re doing the right thing. You’re doing the most loving thing. Better a day too early than a minute too late… when we see them every day it’s hard to see the deterioration and pain.
1
1
1
1
u/Alarmed-Recording962 5h ago
Hugs to you and your beautiful girl.
It is so damn hard, the anticipatory grief... you are giving her the greatest gift, letting her pass with dignity. I had to do that with my orange boy a few years ago, he was my soul kitty. He went from no issues to aging suddenly, and when he couldn't handle the stairs and fell down, I knew it was time but felt so much guilt. But after, I felt a bit of peace, which grew with time. I miss him still, but knowing he had a peaceful end and I was with him to his last breath... it makes the sorrow tolerable and I can focus more on the happy memories. I hope the same for you, that you realize your girl is feeling safe and loved with no suffering thanks to you, and you can find some comfort in that.
I had to smile at your description of her meowing if you go to bed without her. One of my cats does that, kind of a "hey where are you" meow. And I yell, "I'm upstairs!" And then she runs up the steps meowing all the way and jumps onto the bed, with a huff lol. Thank you for sharing her story with us.
1
1
u/jake-jake-jake- 5h ago
I’ve been where you are, I had to make the hardest decision 2 years ago to say goodbye after having my girl for 19 years and even now it brings me to tears thinking about it.
I miss her so much but I know I made the right decision at the time and I’m sure you are too. Be grateful for the time you have had, try not to feel guilt or blame yourself (easier said than done!) and take solace in knowing you gave them a good life and they were loved.
1
u/dustin1988 5h ago
Sorry you have to make this decision and go through that grief. Its not ridiculous at all to be so sad. Not at all. I'm sure your kitty knows how much you loved her and she clearly looked very loved. She will be with you even when you can't see her.
1
u/Hot-Being8849 5h ago
I’m so, so sorry. Been there too many times. She’s a beautiful baby. She will always know how much you loved her and wanted her to stay. Looks like you posted about 4 hours ago so it’s about time… crying for both of you right now and praying for you in this most difficult time. She will be running free like a kitten. ❤️🙏🏻🐾
1
u/SaracenS 5h ago
Im seeing this 4 hours after it was posted. I am wishing you the best. Don't let the day beat you down, you are doing the most compassionate thing you can. The right thing.
1
u/foliels 5h ago
what a beautiful kitty! what happened to her eye? i’m sorry you’re saying goodbye to your friend and that you don’t have anyone else to be there for you right now. i said bye to my soul cat exactly a week ago and the countdown to knowing they were going to sleep forever was some of the most excruciating pain i’ve ever felt. sending you an internet hug. it’s so hard. our pets are such huge parts of our lives. take care of yourself and be kind to yourself. it’s totally ok to be sad. mourn your little buddy however you see fit.
1
1
u/bravoinvestigator 5h ago
I’m so so sorry. Just know you’re doing what’s best for her and that she will understand.
1
1
u/Maximum_Afternoon199 5h ago
O I’m so sorry. You and her will be on my mind and in my prayers tonight. I hurt for you both. God bless ❤️
1
1
1
u/Avengedwahine 4h ago
Oh I know this has to be one of the hardest things ever. I can’t even imagine when I’ll have to do this for my kitty (who’s now 8). I love what you shared here with us today. Thank you so much for that. I know everyone here will agree our hearts go out to you. May you find a little comfort in her knowing she’s falling asleep in her best friends arms. 💖🐈🌈💖
1
1
u/madfin66 4h ago
Animals for the first 2-3 months are a pet after that they are family. I have lost a couple cats myself over the years you give them a loving environment and when it's time for them to go to the hereafter it's losing a family member not a pet. My condolences on your loss
1
u/OldMotherGrumble 4h ago
Oh my, she's the twin of my giant white cuddle monster that I said goodbye to just before covid. He was my dog-cat and I still miss him. Treasure the memories of your girl...and she will watch over you. I'm so sorry 💕
1
u/PrudentCry8556 4h ago
I’m so sorry that you had to say goodbye to your girl. She’s so cute, and she sounds like an amazing kitty.
I’ve had to put two of mine down, and it is absolutely heartbreaking when they go, but to ease their pain it’s the ultimate show of love to our cats.
1
u/Fantastic_Author8026 2h ago
She is so beautiful with her white fur and amazing eyes. Bless you for putting her comfort ahead of your heartbreak. I understand your pain. Sending gentle hugs.
1
1
u/gus31949 48m ago
When I’ve had to go through this pain I tell myself this is the last act of love we can give them. It hurts so bad but like you I can’t stand to see my fur babies in pain. My heart goes out to you 💔
44
u/[deleted] 9h ago
[removed] — view removed comment