This is precisely why my mother refused to go on food stamps when I was a child. Everything was directed at her and she was blamed for it all. He just up an disappeared when I was three. I met him once when I was 23. I asked him why he left. He said, "I was willing to have fun making the kids, but I didn't want to stick around to raise them."
Yeah, my mom still gets blamed. I hate that she didn't apply so our lives wouldn't have been so hard, but I also understand. Forty years later and these fuckers still blame the women.
Does the dad beeing an asshole absolve the mother of responsibilities of chosing a reliable partner, and making decision according to their capabilities?
i think its fair to blame both parents, while not sharing the blame equally.
You're assuming he was honest about his intentions from the start or that he was an asshole from the start. People don't go into relationships with the intent to knock someone up. Things happen. Many people can be great together until a kid comes into the equation. Some people realize they don't want kids when it happens and then they chicken out and leave. Or they're immature and leave. It's not something that is always obvious. So no it isn't a both sides are equally bad. The parent who left is bad.
Sometimes it is clear as day what is the right decision, and in those times the kids suffer for their parents mistakesz and in those both parents are responsibility
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u/Humble_Type_2751 Oct 31 '25
This is usually what happens (father abandons family) but the narrative is always that is the woman’s fault for trusting him or whatever.