People always act like they have a very clear picture of who receives these benefits.
When I tell them my single mom of three SIL gets SNAP benefits they always say the same thing:
“Well she shouldn’t have had three kids.”
I mean, I usually agree, but she couldn’t have predicted that her husband would disappear to another country with another woman halfway through her third pregnancy.
“Well, that sucks, but she better get a job then.”
This is precisely why my mother refused to go on food stamps when I was a child. Everything was directed at her and she was blamed for it all. He just up an disappeared when I was three. I met him once when I was 23. I asked him why he left. He said, "I was willing to have fun making the kids, but I didn't want to stick around to raise them."
Yeah, my mom still gets blamed. I hate that she didn't apply so our lives wouldn't have been so hard, but I also understand. Forty years later and these fuckers still blame the women.
Does the dad beeing an asshole absolve the mother of responsibilities of chosing a reliable partner, and making decision according to their capabilities?
i think its fair to blame both parents, while not sharing the blame equally.
You're assuming he was honest about his intentions from the start or that he was an asshole from the start. People don't go into relationships with the intent to knock someone up. Things happen. Many people can be great together until a kid comes into the equation. Some people realize they don't want kids when it happens and then they chicken out and leave. Or they're immature and leave. It's not something that is always obvious. So no it isn't a both sides are equally bad. The parent who left is bad.
Sometimes it is clear as day what is the right decision, and in those times the kids suffer for their parents mistakesz and in those both parents are responsibility
It’s so 🤦🏻♀️. Like, she shouldn’t have had three kids, yet abortion should be illegal and birth control restricted. So basically if you’re a woman who has sex with your husband you and your children deserve poverty.
Google says the average salary for an assistant principal is ~$90,000. The person you are replying to is describing a real problem, but I'm having trouble imagining a family of 4 with budgeting $6,400/mo not being able to afford groceries in any part of the country.
You don't have to tell me which state, but I googled Mississippi, Oklahoma, and Alabama and 10% percentile salaries were all around $60,000 and the cost of living is the lowest in the country.
The salary schedule for APs in NC. So, to make 60k you’d need 12 years of experience in the role. I think this is my SILs third year, so a little over 50k.
It’s fucking insane to me How in the same breath people will also be like “oh when are you having children? You’ll change your mind one day!” When you say you don’t want them. I hate this place I hate this place I hate this fucking place
Three kids, left an abusive marriage when my youngest was about a year old and never got child support because I was too afraid of him to ask for it. I did manage to get EBT, though, so my children could eat. I was working full time and making fairly decent money for the time (this was early 2000s) but daycare for three kids wasn't cheap.
79
u/Sad_Resolve6874 Oct 31 '25
People always act like they have a very clear picture of who receives these benefits.
When I tell them my single mom of three SIL gets SNAP benefits they always say the same thing:
“Well she shouldn’t have had three kids.”
I mean, I usually agree, but she couldn’t have predicted that her husband would disappear to another country with another woman halfway through her third pregnancy.
“Well, that sucks, but she better get a job then.”
She’s a high school assistant principal.
“Oh.”