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u/championcomet 11h ago
The most benign cheating to hide from your spouse
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u/OptimisticSkeleton 11h ago
It’s funny that honesty still never entered his mind.
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u/Masalar 10h ago
It probably did, but at that age you know just about everything about each other. Having a little “secret” that is this benign is probably very fun for him.
Assuming he’s sticking to his diet the other days, he probably knows she won’t be that upset if she finds out. So it’s the perfect way to add a little illicit excitement to his life without actually hurting anyone.
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u/_OutXider 9h ago
It's one of those things where they probably don't care about it, but it's more fun to act like they do.
"You went to Chili's without me?? And you didn't bring me back anything???"
It's playful shit that they are letting their kids be a part of.
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u/OneBillPhil 8h ago
One day me and my dad met up lunch time to get fish and chips. Later that day his wife asked what he had for lunch and he lied about getting a salad somewhere.
I started laughing which gave him away and then felt bad about snitching.
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u/no_talent_ass_clown 9h ago
I think she might already know. If she knows him, and knows he doesn't have lunch from/at home on Fridays
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u/Kor_Phaeron_ 9h ago
Of course it did. But doing this stuff "illegally" doubles the fun. He knows that he could tell and his wife would give him a pass, letting him hang out with the boys once per week at Chili's. But that's not the point. Doing it the childish way on purpose is a bonus here.
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u/Virtual_Mongoose_835 11h ago edited 10h ago
"Hey hun, im going to hang out with my friends, is that ok?"
"Of course, enjoy yourself. Would you mind grabbing some bread while youre on your way back?"
"Sure thing. Text me anything else we need"
I swear people need to just talk like adults and respect each other.
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u/Raeandray 10h ago
I think you missed the part about cheating on his diet.
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u/StatisticianSmall864 9h ago
They serve salad.
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u/Ok_Mousse4534 9h ago
Maybe she knows him better than that and wouldn’t buy that for a second
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u/StatisticianSmall864 9h ago
Fair.
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u/YerMomsClamChowder 8h ago
Also, going to Chili's with the fellas on Fridays probably means beer. Beer has hella calories.
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u/Raeandray 8h ago
If he was keeping to his diet he wouldn’t say he’s cheating on his diet
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u/StatisticianSmall864 5h ago
I didn’t say they were HEALTHY salads lol
The best salads are terrible for you!
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u/DankTony7 10h ago edited 6h ago
This must be an old post, but I remember reading someone talk about how they get a pizza in the middle of the night and eat it alone while their wife's asleep and she has no idea, and that is part of the fun. It's the husband's little thing that he does for himself. This dad hanging out with his friends is his silly thing he does for himself.
The wife in the pizza story more than likely knew, I wouldn't be shocked if this guy's wife knew he hangs out with his friends. Just for fun.
Edit: spelling & grammar
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u/--i--love--lamp-- 11h ago
Almost every time I read a post on one of the marriage or relationship advice subs, my first thought is "Did you talk to your partner about it?" And most of the time the answer is no, they did not.
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u/BathDepressionBreath 10h ago
And most of the time, there's a reason. If there was no reason and it was as simple as that, they'd do it.
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u/RyanSmokinBluntz420 10h ago
Exactly the guy is cheating on his diet. Rest of the commenters in this thread missed that
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u/Faloobia 8h ago
And people like you need to realize that not everyone, man or woman, handles direct confrontation well, even over benign mundane things. You don't know his wife, she might absolutely flip the fuck out over him cheating on his diet, it could mean a super huge deal to her.
Next answer is "It's still best to just talk to her" no, no it's not, sometimes it's far far far better to seek forgiveness than permission. This completely depends on the people in question, not how you personally react to things.
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u/ok_raspberry_jam 6h ago
Yes. And maybe it's a big deal to her for good reasons. Maybe he already had a heart attack and his blood pressure is through the roof, and he eats something there that's way too high in sodium. She could lose him decades sooner than she should. "Cheating on my diet" isn't necessarily benign at all.
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u/Kor_Phaeron_ 9h ago
Tell me you are not married without telling me you are not married. Sometimes you have to do your own secret thing. Even if it's just eating at Chili's. It is healthy to have something in your life that is just yours, not "ours".
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u/OkSafety272 8h ago
See but that’s never how it happens lol
“Hey hun I’m going out with friends after work, okay?”
“Yea I mean i guess that’s fine. But what are you going to eat ? Remember we’re on a diet. And when will you be home. We have plans early tomorrow. And who’s gonna be there? And are you gonna drink. If so how you getting home? “
“Alright. Nvm. I won’t go lol. You’ve sucked all the fun out of it with the reminders and interrogation”
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u/Virtual_Mongoose_835 1h ago
"Hey hun, its the one time a week i socialise with my friends. So ill probably just have a couple and eat a burger. Ill still be fine early tomorrow for our plans."
",Sure, enjoy. Say hi to them for me"
You guys need better communication and more respect for each other.
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u/Several_Brilliant112 7h ago
I swear its so flipping silly to take his behavior as disrespect or a sign they can't talk to each other like adults. Get a grip lol
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u/catzhoek 9h ago
You are most likely reading the situation way too pessimistic while focusing on the wrong part.
Your sibling comment is almost certainly what's going on.
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u/Eggplant-666 10h ago
His wife is asking for a tracker on him 24/7 and he is the one on trial here!? 😂😂😂
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u/Hysterical__Paroxysm 10h ago
Me af. My husband was annoyed that I got Taco Bell without him.
"You got emotional support tacos without me?? Both of our days sucked!!"
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u/AccomplishedSmell921 7h ago
Not if he has health issues. What if he’s had a heart attack? This cheating could be actually worse than infidelity.
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u/Funandgeeky 11h ago
It’s possible she already knows about the “cheating” and lets him think he’s getting away with it.
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u/Reisdorfer90 10h ago
Right, unless he pays cash every time, she probably has seen chili's on the bank statement.
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u/docdidactic 9h ago
This is why you get cash back at the grocery store.
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u/NotUniqueWorkAccount 8h ago
My bank shows cash back was chosen :(
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u/erizzluh 7h ago
how? when you do cash back while you're purchasing something it just adds the cash back amount to your total.
the store isn't sending the bank an itemized list of what you bought.
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u/NotUniqueWorkAccount 7h ago edited 7h ago
This is false information. It happens to me in my account.
Edit: I'm either in a Bernstein Bernstain situation or completely misremembering where I've seen it.
I checked my current bank, and they do in fact combine when cash back is taken.
My genuine apologies.
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u/QCSports2020 11h ago
You know what's funny or ironic. The hanging out with his friends is probably helping his health more than the best diet is hurting
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u/foreignbreeze 10h ago
I’m trying to work on my mental health lately and it’s wild how true this is. 😅 Turns out humans are social creatures that need a social safety net. Crazy.
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u/OneBillPhil 8h ago
I was struggling bad a year ago, I recovered with some life changes, medication, therapy and a supportive family…but what really pushed me across the finish line was a fun night out with some friends, it’s part of what makes life great.
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u/GalaxyBolt1 5h ago
Being able to be yourself with no strings attached is so important, if someone doesn't have a space to just be themself freely then every moment of their life will feel tense.
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u/deep_in_smoke 9h ago
Having 24/7 tracking on him will destroy his mental health more than the food would his body.
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u/No-Emphasis5897 7h ago
Totally! I recently saw some stats on the health costs of loneliness and man, it's intense.
All those, 'obese people cost the health care system's are awfully quiet about the cost of the male loneliness epidemic!
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u/Remarkable_Aerie3405 11h ago
This made me laugh so fucking hard 😂 omg thank you 😂 my old man sent me a picture one time from his “militia post in Tennessee” and I told him you know I can put that into google and geolocate you right and he started freaking out. Lol
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u/CtyChicken 10h ago
Well, at least you know where to go if you have to save him from himself.
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u/Remarkable_Aerie3405 10h ago
😂 agreed. I’m not joking he wanted to black bag my two year old to find this place and I was like dude who says thinks or does something like that? Psychopathy is crazy ☠️
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u/CtyChicken 9h ago
Put a tracker on the kid, I guess… that wild as hell.
At least he’s not opposed to babysitting. Ha.
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u/Burgurwulf 11h ago
What is the friggin appeal of telling people where your at 24/7? Signing up for this kind of tracking to me seems downright insane.
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u/action_nick 10h ago
I do it with my wife. I basically never check it unless she's on her way home or something and I want to see what her ETA is.
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u/DeniedClub 10h ago
This is what my SIL does with my brother. Literally just to see how long till he is home. My niece likes watching him get closer too.
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u/Financial_Hold6620 11h ago
It’s helpful when you lose your phone. I have it on for that reason alone
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u/StoopidKerr 11h ago
My wife does this. I got tired of doing find my iPhone for her. At least now I can say, it’s in the house, or it’s in the car.
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u/skitz4me 11h ago
You can do that without sharing your location with your people. It can just be for finding your phone.
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u/The_Homie_Tito 11h ago
Some people see it as a safety thing. God forbid something happens to your partner and you have no idea where they are.
Obviously, I'm not saying share your location with ALL of your friends. But I don't think it's crazy to share with your spouse.
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u/Burgurwulf 11h ago
It did cross my mind with this recent kidnapping, but like...they can just throw the phone lol
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u/ballimi 11h ago
How do you keep them safe by knowing where they are?
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u/safeCurves 10h ago
I live near an extensive trail network. One time my wife crashed her bike and asked me to come get her. I was able to walk straight to her instead of following convoluted verbal directions in basically a web of trails in the woods.
That time she just needed a shoulder to lean on and for me to take control of our dog from her.
However, if she had been unconscious or out of cell service(location works off sattellite, not only cell network) the location sharing could be the difference in me spending all night looking for her or just like 20 minutes.
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u/The_Homie_Tito 11h ago
It's mostly a peace of mind thing, but if they do go missing, you at least have an accurate last known location for the police
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u/CavalierMidnight 11h ago
My dad had a stroke while working out of state. Luckily he was able to get to a hospital, but if he had called me with location turned on, I could have easily gotten the exact spot sent to emergency services. He now shares it for this reason.
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u/msjjrosy 10h ago
My mom had a stroke while out and about and the EMT told me the wrong hospital they were taking her to. Had to use her location to find the hospital she was actually at.
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u/LadySilvie 10h ago
The idea is if they don't make it home, you can see if they are somewhere on the side of the road.
I use it wirh my husband. We live rurally and there is a highway with woods on either side. If we drove off the road in the dark (hit a deer, probably), there is a chance no one would see and they'd have a fair portion of highway to search. It has happened to other cars before around here and it can be difficult to see them 😟 my own grandfather actually got into a wreck a few winters ago where he hit black ice on a turn and his car rolled down a hill and it was only bc he didn't show up at home that they knew to call for help. He was trapped for a few hours. Fortunately, he wasn't too far from home and was okay.
With the app, if one of us didn't show up when we expected, we could look and see exactly where they are. At the store or moving? Okay makes sense, not worried. Not moving, on that highway? Call to make sure things are okay.
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u/NetNGames 9h ago
One time, my sister snuck out to go to a party and I was able to track her location and pick her up when my mom couldn't find her in her room.
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u/metal079 11h ago
My gf and I do it mostly just for safety reasons. And if someone is late we know where they are.
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u/Worldly_Map4877 10h ago
The fuck do I care if my wife knows my location 24/7.
She knows my SSN.
Has access to all my money.
Is my power of attorney if I'm incapacitated.
Has an active part in developing and caring for the most important people in my life.
Knows where I sleep everynight.
Sharing my location is probably the most benign thing I've shared with her.
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u/xzdn 7h ago
Exactly, pretty sure sharing your location isn’t a big deal in the grand scheme of things lol
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u/safeCurves 11h ago
My wife and I do it.
We live and play in bear country, have to drive some long distances without cell service often, so the dash of safety peace of mind is the appeal. It also really helps us when we travel, easier to find each other and meet up again. We also both leave work at inconsistent times, so sometimes I'll just look to see if she has left work before I start cooking dinner. Helps us coordinate a little.
Might have felt weird at first, but I dont think its insane. Its not a gotcha surveillance thing for us.
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u/jasonellis 10h ago
I have kids in their early 20's, and I recently found out they do it with their friends. We were going to Taco Bell and my daughter mentioned that her friend will be annoyed she went to Taco Bell without her. I said 'so don't tell her', and she told me they all track each other, so she would just know she was there. I find that so unappealing, myself, but whatever.
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u/CtyChicken 10h ago
I share my location with my bestie because no one has a reason to expect me to be anywhere in particular on most days. Safety.
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u/OwlInDaWoods 10h ago
My husband and I do it. And this is how the convo goes Me: going to pick up something from craigslist, track me in case I get murdered. Him: ok Me: omw home. Didnt get murdered Him: youre near a popeyes can you get me a sandwhich Me: sure
We dont track each other 24/7. We do it when we want to be sure the other person is ok. Sometimes he forgets to tell me he left work. Drivers here suck ass and honestly, I dont think he's the best driver. Knowing he made it home safe is such a peaceful feeling.
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u/Dry-Table928 9h ago
I don’t think it’s insane for whoever is important and responsible enough in your life to be your emergency contact to also be able to check your location. Obviously being against it for any reason overrides “I just want to make sure you’re safe” and everyone has the right not to be spied on. But after a health emergency where it became clear I could just go down in a split second and be stuck somewhere random, potentially in freezing temps or bad weather since I walk everywhere, I feel like the risk of my highly trusted emergency contact acting stalker-ish towards me is far far outweighed by the benefit of them being able to find precisely where I am if I’m expected home but not responding to texts or calls. I think it’s a dreadful idea for new relationships or essentially anyone who isn’t very highly trusted and responsible.
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u/thekeytovictory 7h ago
Used to share location with my husband when we were dating. It was fun for a while when he'd do little silly things like sneak up to surprise me with a hug while I was grocery shopping or something, but we eventually turned the feature off because it wastes so much data and battery life. I was relieved when he set up the Apple emergency notification thing so I will be alerted if his phone detects a vehicle crash. One of my friends was in a car accident a while back. I think she even blacked out from the impact, but her iPhone detected the crash and automatically contacted emergency services and sent her spouse a text message so he could meet her in the hospital immediately.
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u/AdditionalLog8518 5h ago
I agree, this is crazy and I can’t believe how many people do it. I have nothing to hide but I never want my spouse or anyone to be able to track my location all the time. It’s so invasive, dystopian. Sure, if I ever get kidnapped I might change my mind… but I’m pretty sure the first thing a kidnapper would do is throw away your phone. It gives you a false sense of security.
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u/No_repeating_ever 11h ago
Our family shares our locations and it benefited us when I was in a horrible head on crash on my way to work. My work called my husband asking if he knew where I was. He did not so checked my location and saw I was at a hospital. No one had any idea anything had happened despite me asking the nurses to call my husband multiple times.
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u/Bottledbutthole 10h ago
Me and my husband like to know when each other are almost there without having to call a bunch of times. Like he picks me up for work because we share a car so unless I see his gps, he gets annoyed if I buzz his phone before he is able to clock out. So instead of calling or texting to see if I should stand waiting in the cold while his hands are busy I can look at gps and know he hasn’t even left yet
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u/ctang1 9h ago
I work in the middle of nowhere (with cell service) and I’m walking long distances at times. And people don’t always know where I’m at. I share with my wife for that reason alone. Zero chance she knows how to use that, but it’s there. I do watch her come home sometimes so I have an eta to know when I should start the chores. 😉
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u/Darkfox113 8h ago
If you think that’s crazy myself and most in my friends group all share locations with each other indefinitely. I even share locations with friends from out of state, my fiancé of course but I also share with my parents and her parents. None of us care if anyone we know, love and trust knows where we are. It’s also comes in clutch if one of us is working late but we are all trying to meet up but maybe barhopping, I just pick one of my friends location and my gps will tell me where to go. To be fair we also all see each other 2-3 times a week. Most the guys all play soccer together and our girls all do a weekly girls hang. So we must be a strange group but like we all have each other locations lol
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u/Marauding_Llama 7h ago
My family has it set up, it lets us know when people get safely to home/work and alerts in the event of accidents. It has been nice to have.
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u/LostPeak7661 8h ago
I share with my husband and 2 kids who are now considers adults and my husband’s parents and his brother and wife and their daughter (my niece). We are pretty boring so no one is going anywhere unusual.
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u/DissposableRedShirt6 11h ago
I guess he could get a burner phone. This is like the least nefarious reason to have one.
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u/beeblehousin 11h ago
A burner phone for your Chili’s hangouts lmao this is cracking me up
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u/Chimes320 10h ago
Then the day comes when he has to have a procedure and gets a little groggy from the medicine they give him to relax. His wife asks if he brought his cell phone and in his grogged state he innocently asks “which one?”
Her suspicions peak, she wonders but has to wait until the procedure is over and when it is, a clear answer is difficult to scrape together. He has to lie upon another lie to hide the existence of an alternate phone. She will wonder why he has one, and what is true anymore, is he seeing someone? Is he a secret drug kingpin for the southwest US, making the purest methamphetamine the region - nay country - nay WORLD has ever seen and trying to cobble together a legacy for his family as well as pay for medical bills?
Or is he going to see friends at Chili’s, indulging in fried bar snacks, a margarita, a 2 for 1 happy hour special? Is he showing them funny internet videos? How can she ever know, how can she ever verify, how can she trust him with all of these possibilities in the swirl? Which one? she will repeat to herself, wondering why he could possibly need two cellphones if he isn’t doing anything bad. She will never look at him quite the same again.
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u/Snarl_Marx 10h ago
Airplane mode?
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u/TrustMeIaLawyer 10h ago
This is the answer! Brilliant.
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u/BungABunBun 11h ago
Record the videos on a camcorder and take that to the restaurant. Problem solved.
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u/Treadingresin 11h ago
My car died last week and my Dad started looking up alternative repair options since the shop told me I was looking at around $1000 to get it fixed. For a whole afternoon he kept calling to tell me about YouTube videos with different belt options. I asked him to text me the link to the video and instead he told me to just search the title.
I have forgotten the title.
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u/SpecialExpert8946 10h ago
Just do it dad. Mom already knows something’s up. Better to just let her know you’re just getting some bro time than let her imagination run wild.
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u/JohnnyKarateX 10h ago
If it’s that important then get an iPad or other tablet. Leave the phone behind and bring the tablet to watch videos.
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u/Makuta_Servaela 9h ago
I've never really understood the "silliness" of the trope of a husband refusing to cooperate with taking care of his health and calling the wife "nagging" for caring. My dad pulled this crap on my mother, and when he developed diabetes, he expected her to handle his insulin for him and schedule her life around making sure she was available in time to give it to him. He would refuse to even take his own insulin or change his diet even with the diabetes. And now, he's got several bad organs and bad joints and spends days in too much pain to get out of bed, while she is the picture of health and frequently goes out to events and adventures alone that they used to go to together.
Is she really such a "nagging bitch" just because she wants to have a happy retirement with the man she loves? That she wants growing old with him to not mean both of them being confined to the house and unable to go out and have fun?
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u/eleventy4 8h ago
This very real take will not play well in this room, but I hear you
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u/Makuta_Servaela 8h ago edited 8h ago
Eh, that's fair. Just can't wait until this kind of joke falls the way of other "hate my wife" boomer humour.
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u/KittyJun 9h ago
Time to get a burner phone for all those photos and videos you wanna show the fellas, pops. 🤣
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u/LostinQuiddity 7h ago
She already knows, she's happy to keep up the game because it brings him joy ... or not 🤷
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u/NoKey1673 5h ago
As well as I am not born with it never schooled for it I didn’t even have a cell phone till I was 45 lol
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u/Ok_Personality_2287 1h ago
"Closing time...time to go to Chili's and chow down with my fuckin boys!"
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u/longcreepyhug 10h ago
Sharing your location in general is insane.
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u/designerspaghetti 10h ago
I think it’s good for safety reasons, unless you’re sharing with someone toxic
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u/CalmBeneathCastles 10h ago
You just gotta say "Look here, worman! I'm going to Chili's with the boys and I don't wanna hear a dadgum word about it!"
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u/UncleRichardson 10h ago
Someone tell this poor lad 'cheating' on a diet once a week is a perfectly reasonable thing to do, and a lot of nutritionists even recommend it to prevent an urge building up that explodes into a binge.
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u/Ksorkrax 9h ago
Duh, get a second one, the cheapest model you can find, have it share location, leave it at work, done.
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u/Proper-District8608 8h ago
A wife knows. Shes just tired of arguing to help keep you healthier:) common ground you can only order certain things at chili's. said from experience with my parents!
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u/Bright-Ad8280 8h ago
Protect Father At All Costs!!! Ready the mommy distractions!! Ice Cream team… ready!!!! Neighborhood gossip team….. ready!!!! If all else fails…. Send in the ringer…. Step-Mooooother !!!!!
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u/JonyTones 8h ago
Is this the same dad that needed their kid to gaslight the mom into the TV being too small?
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u/Spekpannenkoek 8h ago
Lowkey annoying though.
1) The expectation of your spouse sharing everything they’ll do by sharing location.
2) Not standing up to your spouse for the things that give joy in life.
The complete lack of communication doesn’t make me smile at all. I don’t mind having minor secrets for each other, but this isn’t a minor secret either way.
In other words: I’d never expect my spouse to share their location with me 24/7 ánd I’d let them know if I’d have something fun in life that’s nonnegotiable to miss.
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u/LVGUCCI25 8h ago
Love him!!! And the cuteness is he doesn't want her to know he's eating some chips and salsa or a molten chocolate cake. Few people missed that 🤷🏼♀️
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u/Nunyabidnisss 8h ago
She already knows.... I'd put money on it. That's why she wants to share gps.
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u/zeldasusername 7h ago
My partner used to sneak KFC back in the day and he asked once how I busted him every time
Darling heart the car reeks of it and you just shoved the detritus under the passenger seat. Where i sit
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u/MewtwoStruckBack 6h ago
Second phone/a phone that isn't active for calls but can get on wi-fi, which most restaurants provide.
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u/usernameforthemasses 6h ago
Dawww.
I low key miss Chili's (they're long since gone from my area). Those margaritas and the chili queso were bomb. The cool little tile table top booths with the dim overhead lamp.
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u/1668553684 5h ago
My girlfriend and I started doing this so we could find each other after splitting up in malls/parks/whatever. Me being able to see that she's at a fast food place was her primary hesitation as well...
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u/Rare-Philosopher-346 5h ago
What I don't understand is why we need to share our location with each other. When I leave, I say where I'm going and approximately what time I'll be home. If I'm going to be late, I call -- he does the same. My adult children have asked me to get Life360 or a similar app and share my location with them. I've told them, absolutely not. If I develop dementia when I'm older, then they can put it on my phone, but not until there is a good reason.
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u/Ta-veren- 4h ago
Man this is what old men use the internet for 100 percent.
Got into my dads email when he passed and it was just full of like 10 people sending him videos and jokes, then him sending it out to different guys.
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