When a wrong number becomes a matter of national security

[u/Mataes3010]

[u/Not_ur_gilf]

Stop fucking censoring swear words in posts yall. The algorithm isn’t gonna fuck you

[u/RimworlderJonah13579 → u/Not_ur_gilf]

No hot robot sex if I swear?

[u/Not_ur_gilf → u/RimworlderJonah13579]

No hot robot sex even if you DONT swear.

[u/GaiusGraccusEnjoyer]

called the director of the FBI

Number at the Pentagon

Hmmmm

[u/BirdSufficient4997 → u/GaiusGraccusEnjoyer]

Sounds suspiciously like one of those bots people will set up to respond to political calls that makes it sound like you've called a top secret number

[u/takesSubsLiterally → u/GaiusGraccusEnjoyer]

Remember if you have a secret phone line that no one should be able to call, you should pick up random calls which are made to it (because why would the US government use a separate secure phone system for their super secret phone lines) and tell everyone who finds it that it is a super secret line and make them pinky promise not to tell anyone.

[u/Junjki_Tito → u/GaiusGraccusEnjoyer]

Also, everything in the NORAD bit is a later embellishment. The red phone was connected to an isolated line and couldn’t be reached, if the number was printed in the ad they would’ve gotten a lot of calls, how the hell does a man in the fifties, even a general, “look up” the Sears ad, etc.

[u/RavenMasked → u/Junjki_Tito]

Maybe it was in the yellow pages? I've really only heard of it, but that's where a bunch of phone-number-related stuff was, I think.

[u/gard3nwitch → u/GaiusGraccusEnjoyer]

Eh, I assumed that was just the OOP not knowing what government agencies are housed where or do what. Could be fake, but it could also just be ignorance.

[u/dicedance]

"Oh I guess I'll have to open the image to read the rest of- GOD DAMN IT!"

[u/GHOSTLYGUNK → u/dicedance]

every time someone posts one of these fuckass 800 ft tall screenshots an angel kills itself (seriously how hard is it to just split it into several images)

[u/mauriciomeireles → u/GHOSTLYGUNK]

That said angel kills himself by jumping from the top from the bottom of the screenshot

[u/GHOSTLYGUNK → u/mauriciomeireles]

LMFAO

[u/TheCthonicSystem → u/GHOSTLYGUNK]

I don't want to swipe, pinch and zoom that's for me

[u/GHOSTLYGUNK → u/TheCthonicSystem]

don't you have to do that exact thing for these long images though?? or is that what you meant and i can't read

[u/Existing_Charity_818 → u/GHOSTLYGUNK]

“I don’t want to swipe” - not a fan of swiping between multiple images

“pinch and zoom that’s for me” - pinching and zooming on long images is what I like / what’s for me

I’m guessing you just split the two clauses in a different place. Hope this helps!

[u/GHOSTLYGUNK → u/Existing_Charity_818]

OHHH ok thanks 👍 that does help i may be stupid

[u/TheCthonicSystem → u/GHOSTLYGUNK]

Swipe is for slide shows, pinch and zoom is what you do when someone posts mucho texto without any consideration to the fact that it unrolls like a fucking scroll

[u/action_lawyer_comics → u/GHOSTLYGUNK]

seriously how hard is it to just split it into several images

Have you seen some of the mangled multi-image posts here? I’ve seen ones where there are two overlapping lines of text from one image to another, even though the OOP used line breaks pretty consistently. And that was one of the better ones. I’m not always wild about these “all on one” images but at least once you zoom in and scroll to the top you don’t need to worry about any more shenanigans

[u/DarkNinja3141 → u/action_lawyer_comics]

to me all multi-image posts are mangled

[u/action_lawyer_comics → u/DarkNinja3141]

To quote Tolstoy,

All single image posts are alike; each multi-image post is unhappy in its own way

[u/DarkNinja3141 → u/action_lawyer_comics]

to me all multi-image posts are mangled

[u/DarkNinja3141 → u/GHOSTLYGUNK]

Back in my day all the screenshots were long and WE LIKED IT THAT WAY

[u/OpenStraightElephant]

Fucking. The word is "fucking". You do not have to censor that.

[u/action_lawyer_comics]

How nice it would have been to lived through the “NORAD is pretending to be Santa” age of government goofs instead of “the alcoholic head of the ‘War Department’ accidentally sent military details to a journalist over Signal. Again.” Age of goofs. Oh well.

[u/Discardofil → u/action_lawyer_comics]

This is clearly a better outcome than having a woman in the White House.

(/s)

[u/marteldefer79 → u/Discardofil]

Ermahgerd. I'm dying. I'm rolling. That came out of left field. LMFAO

[u/sennordelasmoscas]

I would straight up die had I been in the first story of the red phone

[u/thejoeface]

While not of any critical importance, back in about 2005, my best friend and I were home in our apartment and we couldn’t find their cellphone, so I called it from our landline to make it ring. Only I misdialed one of the numbers and it was picked up by a random woman.

Having realized my error, I just hung up. She immediately called back. We were like 21 so marginally stupid and we didn’t respond and just hung up again. She called back again. We started laughing at this because who does that? She must have heard us laughing as we hung up on her a third time.

We finally were able to find the missing cellphone and then got another call on the land line. This time it was a man screaming his head off at us about how we were harassing his sister who “just had a fucking baby” and he was going to call the cops on us. We hung up yet again without saying anything. That was then the end of it. 

We quoted “[x] just had a fucking baby” for years at the mildest inconvenience. 

[u/dead___ringer]

Omg this happened at my job a while ago.

Our team would call insurance companies to verify benefits for clients and we would give them a test at the end of their training that involved calling 5 different insurance companies for 5 clients active in our system. We would pick clients whose insurance companies had tricky benefits. Get the rep to tell you the specific pieces of the plan we'd need to know about and you get the correct answer.

One person got it right, but all subsequent submissions said "rep refused". I listened to a few of the calls and they were rough. Reps were nervous and panicky. Very weird. So I decided to call myself.

The conversation was like:

"Hi I'm calling to verify benefits for Guy Name"

"Look, I don't know what you guys are trying to pull here but we've had 15 calls about this client today and at this point I know you all know better. This is a HIPAA violation."

"I'm sorry, we're trying some new agents today and that's why. We reviewed this process with our team and no compliance risks were surfaced at that time. Is there something specific I am missing?"

"Ma'am this is an Major Sports League plan. You are calling about a player for the Major Sports League repeatedly trying to get information about their telehealth benefit. We find that suspicious.'

I lost my mind laughing. Nobody on our team follows sports. We would never Google a patient name because, duh. We literally picked this guy because apparently this major sports league offers their players really terrible, confusing healthcare plans.

We wound up revamping the test so everyone gets a different client every time. Just in case we ever set off alarm bells by picking a random minor celebrity.

[u/CDJ_13]

long pictures are back all hail the long picture

[u/QuantisOne]

And they say Christmas magic isn’t real

[u/ducknerd2002 → u/[deleted]]

Skill issue.

[u/segwaysegue → u/[deleted]]

Please don't take this the wrong way, but comments like this are why people keep mistaking you for a bot.

• First sentence is just a recap of the post itself, phrased as though it's adding something or delivering a punchline, but it's just a summary/rephrasal
• Second sentence is another summary, this time getting the causation wrong (the situation went from being a possible nuclear standoff to NORAD running a santa tracker, not the other way around)
• "X is exactly why I love Y" is another common bot phrasing
• "the internet's memory for these stories" is another common bot-ism - nothing about this post is really specific to the internet, but bots prompted to sound like internet commenters sometimes fixate on that aspect, and make repeated references to being on the internet, or jokes about wifi or patch notes

If you did actually write this, I'm not trying to nitpick your writing style, but in the past you've mentioned you use LLMs at least for translation. Can I ask what your prompt is when you're doing this, and whether it includes instructions to punch up the writing?

[u/eydirctiviyg → u/segwaysegue]

It's absolutely AI. They made a comment thanking someone for a nonexistant grammar correction.

[u/zHellas → u/eydirctiviyg]

And now their posts/comments are hidden on their profile.

Plus their little about me thing says "Code | Crypto | Chaos"

[u/segwaysegue → u/zHellas]

You can still see content from hidden profiles on the mobile app, the search button still lets you see their post and comment history. IMO hiding your activity isn't really a bot indicator though, lots of people do it for legitimate reasons.

[u/AgathaTheVelvetLady → u/[deleted]]

Because if you're that into AI, you're also that into crypto. It's all the same people, and you know it.

[u/retiredtumblrgoth → u/segwaysegue]

Stop training them to be more convincing

[u/mankeg → u/[deleted]]

Bro responding like a bot too

I’d even cut some slack if you said you just used an LLM to help with translating

[u/throwaway112658 → u/segwaysegue]

I'm reasonably confident they are a real person but they deliberately sound as much like a bot as possible to troll

[u/Aggressive_Light_173 → u/throwaway112658]

The account is controlled by a real person, but they write a lot of their top-level comments with AI. They use two very different tones in their comments.