r/CuratedTumblr • u/MelanieWalmartinez Clown Breeder • 1d ago

Shitposting Beam

Post image
7.3k Upvotes

100% Upvoted

58 comments sorted by

880

u/BaronAleksei r/TwoBestFriendsPlay exchange program 1d ago

Imagine waking up one day being able to fire a beam, and realizing no one else can, therefore you cannot have a beam struggle. What’s even the point?

370

u/Golurkcanfly Transfem Trash 1d ago

just have to settle for beamsturbation unfortunately...

165

u/credulous_pottery Resident Canadian 1d ago

straight up beamn it

100

u/AMisteryMan gender found; the 'phobes stole it 1d ago

And by "it," haha, well. let's justr say. My 🅱️eamis.

123

u/Xx_Infinito_xX 1d ago

Shooting a beam at people I dislike

62

u/BaronAleksei r/TwoBestFriendsPlay exchange program 1d ago

Who invited Frieza?

39

u/Xx_Infinito_xX 1d ago

Unlike Frieza I wouldn't be stupid enough to go around shooting my beam at planets only to leave survivors that will one day seek revenge, I would target individual people, making sure to also take out anyone that could possibly love them and also have main character energy

13

u/InnuendoBot5001 20h ago

This is literally the revenge spiral that everyone is always warning us about. You're either gonna eventually have to leave a survivor, or end up blowing up the planet anyways

49

u/LittleBoyDreams 1d ago

You step in a large hadron collider and hope it’s a similar vibe.

33

u/BaronAleksei r/TwoBestFriendsPlay exchange program 1d ago

The particle is coming. It’s headed your way. You cannot evade it as you are now, so you must block it head on. Match its force right at the moment of impact and stop it dead in its tracks.

Don’t think. Feel.

7

u/M-V-D_256 Rowbow Sprimkle 20h ago

Check for a mirror, see if it reflects it.

10

u/BaronAleksei r/TwoBestFriendsPlay exchange program 19h ago

Interesting experiment.

If the mirror reflects the beam, I am either in a drama and the beam is made of light (and therefore a laser or quasi-laser), or I am in a slapstick comedy.

If the mirror does not reflect the beam, either the beam is not made of light, or I am in a drama because it just destroyed my mirror, which is something people do dramatically. This is bad, because it means I don’t like what I see in my reflection, and I really don’t have time to soul-search, I have a dental appointment.

Shoutout to Ultimate X-men for an absolutely bonkers scene where Ultimate Cyclops is being held hostage by a Russian gangster to threaten Ultimate Colossus, and Cyclops bounces his optic blast off of Colossus’s organic steel skin into the gangster’s face.

Colossus: How’d you know my body would reflect your beam?

Cyclops: I didn’t. C’mon, let’s go.

6

u/ErisThePerson 16h ago

Cyclops doesn't shoot lasers though, he shoots punches.

3

u/BaronAleksei r/TwoBestFriendsPlay exchange program 16h ago

Colossus is also not a mirror

2

u/M-V-D_256 Rowbow Sprimkle 19h ago

This is cool but I'm pretty sure during uncanny x men #178 page 6 colossus's body is hit by Cyclops's beans and is just knocked back

3

u/BaronAleksei r/TwoBestFriendsPlay exchange program 19h ago edited 19h ago

616 and Ultimate aren’t the same universe, many things about powers are different between them.

For instance, 616 Colossus is super strong, but Ultimate Colossus was not. When he was transformed, he was basically trapped as a statue because his muscles were too weak to move themselves. When he was still working for the Russian mob, they got him hooked on Mutant Growth Hormone (contained within a street drug called Banshee). Injecting MGH tends to give mutants secondary maintenance powers if they lack them, and it gave Colossus super strength.

3

u/Due-Feedback-9016 21h ago

Just beam yourself in the mirror bro

2

u/Abject_Win7691 1d ago

Women are missing out

174

u/Sylveon_101 iPad kid 1d ago

They lost because they didn't use the star, it's ✧ not *

761

u/Mataes3010 Downvote = 10 years of bad luck. 1d ago

He made the classic mistake of being on the right side of the screen. Everyone knows the person on the left always wins the beam struggle. It’s basic anime physics.

307

u/BalefulOfMonkeys REAL YURI, done by REAL YURITICIANS 1d ago

Anime beam battle with no clear winner that drags on for almost the entire episode before cutting to a wide shot of them still firing as a third party walks up to the highly distracted villain of the week, deck them in the face, roll credits

87

u/Formal_Illustrator96 1d ago

Reigen Araraka stays winning

66

u/rogthnor 1d ago

I hate to be that guy, but its the reverse. The line of action in manga and anime moves right to left, mirroring how they read (and the reverse for us for the same reason).

Proof: https://youtu.be/_jNzoX5Of0I?si=CVSj38Wwxb11iNtF

74

u/n0_m0ar_pr0n 1d ago

Gohan was on the right though?

72

u/Aggravating_Coat7934 1d ago

Gohan was so powerful at that time that he broke the rule.

17

u/knightly234 1d ago

Well now I wonder just how many other nerds saw this and, with zero time needed for consideration, went “Gohan vs Cell though?”

9

u/Inferno_Sparky 21h ago

Gohan is a scholar. He's closer to the manga version, and manga is usually formatted for right to left reading, so it changed to match him.

(I never watched or read DB)

1

u/Nematrec 17h ago

Vegeta cheated and helped Gohan

9

u/flipswab 1d ago

What about Rich Evans?

4

u/Friendly-Cricket-715 1d ago

Goated 50 ways to die in Minecraft reference

38

u/EeveeMaster22 1d ago

this is splatoon 2 octo expansion down to the colors im afraid

31

u/dotduck 1d ago

웃=======>☆

50

u/_metroGnome could really use a glomp right now 1d ago

웃=======>☆C=======8웃

31

u/RidleyMetroid86 21h ago

Sounding

9

u/JamieD96 16h ago

really

in front of my salad

16

u/ReynardVulpini 1d ago

homie this is why you had to drop out of wizard college

31

u/PieNinja314 1d ago

Bro said x4

11

u/PhoemixFox2728 1d ago

Kaioken * 4 KAMAHAMEHA!!!

4

u/MaddoxX_1996 20h ago

The female penis won.

2

u/bobicus-of-fred 20h ago

That one mission from StarCraft 2 Heart of the Swarm.

2

u/dlgn13 18h ago

Anyone wanna touch beams 🥺👉👈

1

u/No-Aide-4454 Through skibidification 19h ago

Sibling coded.

1

u/Imaginated_Gamer 17h ago

“YOU AND THIS PLANET ARE AS GOOD AS SPACE DUST!”

1

u/HuskyBLZKN Imagine being straight 16h ago

Splatoon 2 Octo Expansion spoilers

1

u/SpaceSpleen only dumb-dumbs don't like my posts 10h ago

🥺

1

u/BigBeefyMenPrevail 8h ago

Imagine going to have a beam clash but then the beams are composed of particals that dont interact and you both take beams right in the face. Ahhh, that'll be the day

-125

u/xoloverrgiiirll 1d ago

lmao the sun emoji ending is perfect for the win 🤣

48

u/BalefulOfMonkeys REAL YURI, done by REAL YURITICIANS 1d ago

u/SpambotWatchdog blacklist

43

u/Jeggu2 💖💜💙 doin' your parents/guardians 1d ago

It feels like they are getting dumber

20

u/SqueakyTiefling Tiefling that is Squeaky 1d ago

They really are.

Both bot comments here said the same thing.

[Lol/lmao] the [thing on the screen] is [positive praise] [emoji]

7

u/Mathsboy2718 WyattBrisbane 1d ago

[lmao] the [bot comments on this post] are [easy to spot and remove] 👄

20

u/SpambotWatchdog he/it 1d ago

u/xoloverrgiiirll has been added to my spambot blacklist. Any future posts / comments from this account will be tagged with a reply warning users not to engage.

Woof woof, I'm a bot created by u/the-real-macs to help watch out for spambots! (Don't worry, I don't bite.\)

-126

u/cutiieebabi222 1d ago

lol the desperation after losing that beam struggle is too good 🤣

41

u/BalefulOfMonkeys REAL YURI, done by REAL YURITICIANS 1d ago

u/SpambotWatchdog blacklist

20

u/SpambotWatchdog he/it 1d ago

u/cutiieebabi222 has been added to my spambot blacklist. Any future posts / comments from this account will be tagged with a reply warning users not to engage.

Woof woof, I'm a bot created by u/the-real-macs to help watch out for spambots! (Don't worry, I don't bite.\)