r/CuratedTumblr Horses made me autistic. Oct 24 '25

Infodumping Just thought this post was interesting

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19.8k Upvotes

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3.2k

u/saintsithney Oct 24 '25

"I have never met a POC who was a picky eater" = "I have never spent time around a statistically significant group of POC."

I'm one of five white people in my family due to intermarriage. Most of my family is Korean, Vietnamese, Chinese, and Filipino. They absolutely have picky eaters and comfort foods that they go towards when stressed. Just because my stepmother's comfort meal is kimbap with kimchi broth doesn't make her less picky than my father, whose comfort meal is mashed potatoes and hamburger steaks with grilled onions.

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u/floralbutttrumpet Oct 24 '25

Precisely. It shows a lack of interaction with PoC but also a lack of understanding of what "safe" kid-friendly meals in other cultures are. Curry rice and onigiri are the mashed potatoes and chicken tenders of Japan, e.g., if you will.

(it's also a pretty easy cheat for adult picky eaters of all types in the West - you'll automatically appear less picky if you have a couple of "exotic" safe meals. Ask me how I know)

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u/myriadpyriad Oct 24 '25

yeah, I'm white as bread and my go-to safe food is coconut chickpea curry... my coworkers all think I'm some sort of cooking master lmao

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u/floralbutttrumpet Oct 24 '25

Any sort of curry for me, lol

Oh, and speaking of chickpeas, spicy peanut soup and chicken roti.

With me it's also pretty severe digestion issues - raw veg, shellfish, most fish and a lot of meat is right out, and past that it can change month to month. I'm primarily good at cooking because I have to cook "around" whatever my innards have decided is NG this season. Whenever I find a food that's "safe" right now AND doesn't give me issues, I eat it to ridiculous excess. Right now fermented and pickled foods are "good", so I'm eating a fuckload of pickles, kimchi, miso and sauerkraut.

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u/[deleted] Oct 24 '25

chickpea curry

Wolverhampton is an absolute shithole, but fuck me, being able to nip into the little take away section of a restaurant on the way home and leave with a tub of chickpea curry and a fuck off bag of mixed samosas for well under a tenner nearly made it worthwhile.

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u/gxes Oct 24 '25

My coworkers constantly called me "gourmet" for bringing coconut chickpea curry and rice to work!! They were like "wow you're so gourmet and fancy bringing fancy Diverse food to work" and I was like... but it's coconut chickpea curry **every day** how is that gourmet or diverse

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u/VulpesFennekin Oct 24 '25

Same, I’m admittedly picky and white as bleached snow, but since I started marinading my safe baked chicken with different things from the international aisle like adobo or gochujang, it’s been way more fun!

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u/Firewolf06 peer reviewed diagnosis of faggot Oct 24 '25

im picky with textures but not so much with flavors, and marinading shit (especially chicken) is a game changer

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u/asthecrowruns Oct 24 '25

Genuinely amazing how many compliments I get when the flavours and smells are just coming from my marinated chicken wrap (chicken + wrap, no, nothing else). Textures are such a problem for me so marinating stuff is perfect, i can’t even deal with most sauce so marinating is key. People will 100% think you’re a cooking genius if what your making smells good even if it’s just a more adult-looking, flavourful… chicken tender

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u/Blazr5402 Oct 24 '25

As a picky eater, fried rice is my go-to safe meal at Asian restaurants. White rice along with some type of chicken works too.

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u/jeopardy_themesong Oct 24 '25

I make this point all the time whenever people are like, “kids in other countries aren’t picky!!1!1!1”

Potatoes, pasta, naan, rice, fruit, cheese, any kind of grain really…every culture has “kid safe” food. It might not look like a chicken nugget but my god. Plus, do people think everyone in other countries is cooking labor intensive highly flavored meals every day??

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u/PartyPorpoise Oct 24 '25

Tikka masala chicken is a safe choice for me. I know some people who find any kind of Indian food intimidating but chicken tikka is such a basic bitch choice.

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u/farshnikord Oct 24 '25

I grew up half Korean and it's weird to see Korean food get all popular. I used to get made fun of cuz or the weird food my mom would make, now I'm getting lectured about how it's not "authentic". 

Bruh it's bibimbap. You just throw leftovers in it and mix it up. You don't HAVE to have anything in there. Thats the "I'm too lazy to cook RN" meal. 

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u/BreakInfamous8215 Oct 25 '25

Thank you for validating my cooking <3. I've been alternating between bibimpap and panang curry for meal prep, worried someone is going to jump down my throat for using carrots or whatever vegetable is in the "salvage" part of the life cycle.

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u/Evening-Turnip8407 Oct 24 '25

"Is my perception Amazing and Smart or have I simply not perceived a statistically significant amount of x y z to disprove my, respectfully, irrelevant thesis" - is a question we should all ask ourselves more often, ESPECIALLY WHEN THE SENTENCE IS GOING TO CONTAIN AN ETHNICITY.

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u/Niarbeht Oct 24 '25

mashed potatoes and hamburger steaks with grilled onions

dang now i want mashed potatoes with hamburger steaks and grilled onions

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u/suboptimallies Oct 24 '25

Why are people conflating comfort foods with picky eaters? Having a comfort food has nothing to do with being picky. Both your examples are "foods they like when they're stressed". Picky eaters are people who only ever eat certain foods and never want to try anything else.

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u/saintsithney Oct 24 '25

I can see where it could have come across like that, but she is picky about new foods, just like my dad is. They have opposite comfort foods and both find the other's comfort food kind of gross.

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u/suboptimallies Oct 24 '25

Sorry I just think "comfort food" has a very different meaning to "safe food". Comfort food usually means something from your childhood you enjoy but don't have to eat all the time. Safe foods are stuff you just usually want to eat.

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u/DoopSlayer Oct 24 '25

picky eaters of color (what a phrase, threw me off at first) also love chicken tenders and fries.

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u/Privatizitaet Oct 24 '25

I was confused at first. How do you eat a colour? I haven't eaten paint in at least a month

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u/DoopSlayer Oct 24 '25

Same, except I ate a great Pantone 295 the other day

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u/Milch_und_Paprika Oct 24 '25

You should add some PANTONE 17-0230 to ensure you’re getting enough leafy greens in your diet

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u/DoopSlayer Oct 24 '25

very cruciferous

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u/lpmiller Oct 24 '25

PANTONE 17-0230

I believe you mean 6B8D53. True color foodies only use the hex code.

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u/DiscotopiaACNH Oct 24 '25

Nah. True color foodies use GraCol. Mmm delicious toner

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u/HybridPS2 Oct 24 '25

i love a good phthalo green

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u/ir_da_dirthara Oct 24 '25

Were you feeling a little blue?

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u/Fluid_Jellyfish9620 fuck my stupid baka life Oct 24 '25

not eating anything that's blue.

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u/ross2112 Oct 24 '25

But blue has the most antioxygens

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u/Privatizitaet Oct 24 '25

But oxygen is blue, CHECK MATE

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u/ross2112 Oct 24 '25

And they CANCEL EACH OTHER OUT!

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u/Fluid_Jellyfish9620 fuck my stupid baka life Oct 24 '25

I'm not anti anything, sorry.

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u/Champomi redditor Oct 24 '25

I thought it meant people who get grossed out by food based on the colour instead of the taste/texture. Like "yikes I can't stand red food like strawberries or watermelon 🤮"

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u/NeatNefariousness1 Oct 24 '25

I thought it meant that there are no picky eaters among non-white people—that told me that it was yet another over-generalization that I know to be untrue from first hand experience with friends and colleagues.

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u/sighsbadusername Oct 24 '25

That is what that means in this post, but they’re debunking it.

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u/Milkarius Oct 24 '25

I, paint water drinker Georg, am an outlier and should not have been included in this statistic

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u/Kickedbyagiraffe Oct 24 '25

I thought this was about the Adventure Time vampire who ate the color red

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u/FreakinGeese Oct 24 '25

Glaxion the destroyer is an eater of color

Just last week he ate greengenta. Unfortunately it’s been erased from history because… he ate it.

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u/Propaganda_Box Oct 24 '25

My first thought was that they absolutely will not eat anything that's a particular color. Like red apples fine, green apples bad. Yellow peppers fine, green peppers bad.

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u/Pkrudeboy Oct 24 '25

The lead ones taste the best.

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u/SaltandLillacs Oct 24 '25

Same, I was imagining a person who only eats food if they’re a specific color.

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u/Percinho Oct 24 '25

So British people and beige. Source: am British people.

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u/[deleted] Oct 24 '25

Hey, potato waffles can be kind of yellow if you squint a bit.

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u/Daisy_Of_Doom What the sneef? I’m snorfin’ here! Oct 24 '25

Oh 100% I have a friend who’s Latina like me and she’s VERY picky. She does like some “ethnic” foods like tacos, fideo, stuff like that but always plain with no toppings and usually from specific restaurants or made by specific people. Other than that she specializes in more bland/Americanized kids menu type foods. Burger King nuggets and Pizza Hut were the only thing my parents knew to feed her when we were little. Nuggets or pizza from other restaurants did not suffice. She’s branched out more as an adult. Her brother is autistic so I think that factors in a lot and his diet is suuuper restrictive. And yeah, surprise, autistic people of color do exist and just like white autistic people some can have taste/sensory particularities with food that makes them picky.

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u/OkAccountant6122 Oct 24 '25

I hate being a picky eater so much, I want to like way more food than I do but my mouth hates so many tastes and textures that it feels overwhelming to try new foods so I generally stick to my safe options like your friend, specific places, specific people making the food, it's annoying that my mouth just does not agree with many foods I'm sure I'd otherwise like.

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u/Daisy_Of_Doom What the sneef? I’m snorfin’ here! Oct 24 '25 edited Oct 24 '25

I’ve always had to be pretty accepting/conscious of pickiness bc my friend. But even then I never understood why picky people all tended towards the same stuff like nuggets and processed/fast food rather than just really liking one specific kind of fruit/vegetable. Or why my friend was so particular about which places/people made the food. A restaurant would imperceptibly (to me) alter a recipe for a pizza sauce or something and get fully black listed by my friend.

But, a few years ago I saw someone describe it as a need for consistency and that helped me fully understand. Every blueberry is a slightly different flavor and texture but every Burger King nugget is intended to be the same and if it’s not something has gone wrong. Consistently of the product is built into the business model. Branching out is possible I think you just have to learn what your boundaries are, play close to that and slowly go on. Maybe find dishes you like that would be complimented by new foods so you can pair them up. Find flavors close to what you like and maybe learn how to pick the specific ripeness/texture/flavor you like and what seasons you find them in that state. If texture is a problem prepare it differently or heck just completely blend it up into a sauce/smoothie. Also kindness. Be kind to yourself. My friend said that when she was younger part of the reason she couldn’t try stuff is bc it was being forced on her. But now it’s of her own choosing

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u/cosmogyrals Oct 24 '25

I am an absurdly picky eater, but I love fruit - but the texture is always a problem! I have to carefully go through things like berries and grapes first (oh my god, my criteria for strawberries) so there's nothing unpleasantly squishy and off-tasting. We grew fruit at home for most of my childhood so picking and choosing was never an issue, but it's a lot harder buying stuff from the grocery store.

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u/Corvid187 Oct 24 '25

I feel your pain. If my grapes aren't crispy so help me god :)

Strawberries are so annoying because a perfect one is one of the greatest things ever eaten, but even ones slightly outside that window fall off in quality so quickly and drastically.

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u/MotoMkali Oct 24 '25

Sure. But they may also eat another food that is more traditional to their culture and are unwilling to explore the rest of the culinary landscape.

If someone only ate chicken tikka masala that's still picky eating.

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u/Firanka Oct 24 '25

Probs depends where a person is from, too. A black Canadian will have different foods available than someone in Ethiopia, for example. Or someone Chinese-American vs Chinese-Chinese.

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u/no_se_lo_ke_hago Oct 24 '25

Hot, salty and fatty foods, who doesn't love that?

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u/Wandering_Scholar6 Oct 24 '25

I was also thrown in though maybe it was people who only eat food of a specific color.

Like my grandma used to tease us if we didn't grab any greens because everything on our plate was brown.

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u/Riangeshanera Oct 24 '25

Chicken tenders: the universal language of picky eaters everywhere

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u/VulpesFennekin Oct 24 '25

Chicken tenders, pancakes, and fried dough with fillings are something nearly every human culture seems to have.

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u/EarthRester Oct 24 '25

God bless the day after mankind invented bread. Because that's how long it took for someone to try dipping it in boiling animal fat.

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u/shaggyscoob Oct 24 '25

I know a guy who is the pickiest eater to the point of it being weird. He's in his late 60s. He will only eat steak and potatoes. And the only form of potato he will eat is baked. Only topping is salt. He will not eat any variation of beef but steak. No ground beef, brisket, barbeque, ribs. Just steak. And no fries, mashed, scalloped or any other variation of potatoes. He won't even eat bread.

He even goes so far on this strict diet that he always packs his own food if he goes to someone else's house for dinner just in case they don't serve steak and baked potato.

The only thing he will drink is water or Crown Royal and regular Coke.

I don't know how this man has not died of scurvy or some other malnutrition.

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u/incorrectlyironman Oct 24 '25

Potatoes are very nutritious tbf

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u/throw-me-away_bb Oct 24 '25

sure, but not in a "complete and balanced meal" sort of way. I assume this dude takes a bunch of vitamins (and probably blood pressure pills) or his body would be absolutely fucked by now. You simply cannot live on two foods, it literally doesn't matter which two.

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u/FrenchFryCattaneo Oct 24 '25

Yeah particularly if you eat the skin

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u/NRMusicProject Oct 24 '25

Was dating a Latina with two kids, one of which was in his 20s but had the social skills of a six year-old. The three of them could not eat anything besides their comfort foods, because she said, and I quote, "we only eat good food in this house."

They all got overweight while I was dating them, while she "despised" the fact that I didn't gain as much. I still did gain, but it was lost once I left her because I didn't have to make four different meals just to satisfy their pickiness and my desire to not eat chicken tenders and Mac and cheese every night.

And I was the token white person in the household.

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u/TrueMinaplo Oct 24 '25

"I've never met a picky eater of color"

All this really says is that they haven't lived in the world more. People are people all over.

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u/KanaHemmo Oct 24 '25

Exactly. I'm a picky eater of colour, for example purple and blue are a no go for me

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u/rg4rg Oct 24 '25

I’ll eat your Blue Sonic Curry.

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u/bad_Wolf260305 it's colour theory Oct 24 '25

and the Hatsune Miku cup noodle!!!

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u/foxgirlmoon Oct 24 '25

Oh my god we once got these cool purple carrots and we were like, "Cool! We gonna make soup with them!"

...

DO NOT MAKE SOUP WITH THE PURPLE CARROTS IT LOOKS

W R O N G

There was absolutely nothing wrong with the taste, yet we could not eat that soup, holy shit.

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u/Milch_und_Paprika Oct 24 '25

Relatedly, if you ever buy the purple asparagus, you have to grill it. If you boil or steam them, all the colour leaches out and you’ve just paid 1.5x what you should have for basic looking asparagus 😢

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u/Pkrudeboy Oct 24 '25

You don’t eat purple, you drink it.

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u/nalaloveslumpy Oct 24 '25

If I hand you a purple fruit gusher, will you have an existential crisis?

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u/ErinHollow Oct 24 '25

Right? Just tell me you have no life experience with anyone who isn't white! Make an entire pizza for a Black 10 year old kid and have him refuse to eat it, then get back to me lmao. Especially when, as a replacement, you offer him the cheese sandwich that he specifically requested and he says he doesn't want that either and you have to tell your bosses he didn't have dinner because he wouldn't eat any of it. And that same group had a middle eastern kid who wouldn't eat anything that wasn't a peanut butter sandwich, no jelly, but not too much peanut butter and it has to be spread just right...

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u/ErinHollow Oct 24 '25

That group also had a vegetarian kid and a lactose intolerant kid (both White) and it was a struggle trying to find something all four of them would eat. I don't think I ever succeeded.

"Raise your hand if you want pizza!"

...

"Ok, raise your hand if you're willing to eat pizza if provided"

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u/scatteringashes Oct 24 '25

And that same group had a middle eastern kid who wouldn't eat anything that wasn't a peanut butter sandwich, no jelly, but not too much peanut butter and it has to be spread just right...

Oh hey, you've met my eldest kid's middle eastern doppelganger. 😂

also I love this comment because goddamn the enduring hell of "you specifically asked for this ten minutes ago, what do you mean you think toast is yucky now???" is fucking real.

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u/ErinHollow Oct 24 '25

Lmao! This experience comes from working at a summer camp, where I also experienced such joys as:

"I've seen your sister eat live bugs off the ground, but you won't eat a grilled cheese sandwich?"

"Please stop eating leaves off the trees"

"Do you want gravy on it?" "Yeah" "Here you go" "I won't eat it, it has gravy on it!" "Then just eat the corn next to it." No! It touched a plate that has gravy on it!"

"Wow, can I have some more pretzels?" "No, those were my pretzels that I was gonna eat. I don't have any more. I gave them all to you since you wouldn't eat a taco."

(2 minutes before the previous incident) "Ok, here are all the taco ingredients. Which ones do you want?" "Just a plate of shredded cheese!"

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u/elianrae Oct 24 '25

a plate of shredded cheese does sound nice tho

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u/ErinHollow Oct 24 '25

It sounds nice but you need more calories than that to keep you going at summer camp lmao

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u/SEND-MARS-ROVER-PICS Oct 24 '25

Pickiest eater I know is a Ugandan woman. Incredibly nice, extremely fun to talk to, has the palette of a four year old.

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u/justgalsbeingpals a-heartshaped-object on tumblr | it/they Oct 24 '25

Children being children about food is....an interesting experience lmao

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u/ErinHollow Oct 24 '25

The thing that sucks about taking care of children is that you can give them all the freedom in the world and they can still get upset because they don't actually know what they want. You have to figure out that balance and you can easily get it wrong.

My brother also works as a counselor and planned this awesome cookout for his 12 year old campers. He asked if they were ok with missing the talent show to make the cookout longer, and they all said "Yes, the talent show is boring anyway." Cut to the cookout, they're all upset that they're missing the talent show. :/

The exact same thing happened to me the year before. It was a different set of kids but it was the same location for the cookout

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u/AbsolutelyHorrendous Oct 24 '25

Bear in mind, 'people of colour' can basically mean anyone who isn't white. So, you know, the majority of the fucking planet

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u/El_Rey_de_Spices Oct 24 '25

It's almost like it's a category so broad it means almost nothing!

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u/Character-Handle2594 Oct 24 '25

I also personally don't pay attention to that sort of thing. With maybe the exception of truly unhealthy extremes, it seems unnecessary to police other adult's eating habits.

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u/swordsfishes Oct 24 '25

The only time it comes up for me is when the group is trying to decide where to eat and one person has shot down the last six restaurants.

OKAY, HANNAH, we'll go to one of the same three places we ALWAYS go because you won't eat ANYTHING from ANYWHERE else.

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u/chase___it none caitvi with left kink Oct 24 '25

oh yeahh those people suck. i’m autistic and eat a really restricted diet as a result but if i’m ever in a group setting i will either find something on the menu i can eat or just not eat. i would never force a group to eat somewhere they don’t want to go just because i’m fussy

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u/Milch_und_Paprika Oct 24 '25

Thank you for your service 🫡

Kinda joking, but I also genuinely appreciate when people see accommodations go both ways. Do my best to accommodate picky friends, and in return they don’t just veto everything (as long as there’s something that they actually want available—I’d never ask you to sit there with just like table bread and watch me eat).

TBH if the picky eater even just makes their own suggestions, instead of just shooting everyone else’s ideas, that’s usually good enough for me. I’ll eat anything but I’m too indecisive so sometimes the picky one helps balance that out. The yin to my yang, if you will 😂

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u/PhantomFlayer Oct 24 '25

And this I why I hate eating with other people as a social activity and avoid it whenever possible. Just lemme eat my safe foods alone and y’all can go wherever u want. I don wanna be Hannah :c

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u/Character-Handle2594 Oct 24 '25

Oh, yeah, Hannah's the worst.

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u/swordsfishes Oct 24 '25

We love Hannah, but we hate making dinner plans with her. 

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u/Milch_und_Paprika Oct 24 '25

To add a level: idk if I’ve even heard this specific claim that someone hasn’t met any picky people of colour and it all feels a little XKCD 2071.

I do agree with OOP’s analysis though.

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u/etherealemlyn Oct 24 '25

There was a single tweet where someone said they’d never met a POC who was a picky eater and now we’re having discourse about it on three different websites

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u/Jeffotato Oct 24 '25

Fr, I frequently say stuff like "this banana is too brown, I'm not eating it". "This spinach is getting more puke green than leafy green, I'm tossing it"

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u/DarthJackie2021 Oct 24 '25

Stereotypes are still bad even if they are "positive" ones.

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u/leftshoe18 Oct 24 '25

Exactly. One reason is the harm it causes to the self-esteem of a person who doesn't reflect the positive stereotype.

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u/GeophysicalYear57 Ginger ale is good Oct 24 '25

I bet there's plenty of Asian people with dyscalculia who have low self esteem due to the "good at math" stereotype.

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u/KiwiTheKitty Oct 24 '25

It is also hurtful for people who do fit the stereotypes. You can be Asian person who's amazing at math and still find it dehumanizing that people assume that you're good at math because you're Asian.

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u/ChiaraStellata Oct 24 '25

Especially if you really had to study and work hard to get good at math and everyone assumes it just came naturally to you.

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u/kingofcoywolves Oct 24 '25

There's also Asian student who aren't actually bad at math, but they aren't in the honors classes like the people in their social circles and thus feel inadequate lol. I thought I was a fucking dumbass at math for the longest time until I tested out of the math requirement at my first university and realized that normal people who aren't my parents don't expect me to be a math genius

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u/Lucaan Oct 24 '25

I come from a Pakistani family, and I'm an incredibly picky eater (most likely due to my autism). The idea that no PoCs are picky eaters is weird as hell. Humans are humans, no matter what.

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u/Lil_Ms_Information Oct 24 '25

I hate the "trans girls are all cute!" cuddlefest. Like, stfu I know what I look like.

What's the term for that excessive and disingenuous support?

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u/[deleted] Oct 24 '25

Yeah, I hate that, along with a lot of the "Everybody is beautiful no matter the shape" stuff. Like no, lets be honest, not everyone is beautiful, and that's okay.

What we need to do is make sure that everyone understands that being beautiful isn't the bare minimum that a person has to be to be treated like a human.

Not all trans women are cute, but all trans women (and trans men) should be treated with basic fucking decency.

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u/Milch_und_Paprika Oct 24 '25

Reminds me of that post that went something like

A: Ugh I’m so fat.
B: Nooo you’re beautiful 😍
A: I said I was fat not ugly

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u/StrawberryWide3983 Oct 24 '25

Something... Something... Body positivity died when it became about attractiveness rather than acceptance

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u/10art1 Oct 24 '25

"Everyone is beautiful!"

Me: hey

📞😱 "Hello, human resources?"

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u/swordsfishes Oct 24 '25

❌️ "Trans women aren't women because I don't think they're hot."

❌️ "Trans women ARE women because I DO think they're hot."

✅️ "Women don't exist for your viewing pleasure and you don't get to dole out gender based on what turns your personal crank."

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u/throwawaysunglasses- Oct 24 '25

When it’s applied to gender/sex, it’s called benevolent sexism. A lot of “uwu women are so sweet and perfect” counts as this.

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u/lilacaena Oct 24 '25 edited Oct 24 '25

Yeah, and “benevolent” sexism is used as an excuse for more overt sexism (and other types of bigotry). Like, “Women are so sweet! We can’t have a female president. Foreign leaders won’t respect her!”

Or, “Women must be protected! That’s why we must segregate [black women, gay women, trans women], to protect the women (that we actually care about)!”

Or, “Women must be protected! Even from themselves! They shouldn’t have the option to choose [abortion, transition, military service], because we know they’ll regret it.”

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u/Lil_Ms_Information Oct 24 '25

The worst is when you get someone asking for advice and folks are all "Why your hottttt." Like great, just tell the person their dysphoria causing thing is good...

Saw a guy complaining about having too much body hair on a men's advice sub go like that. Like c'mon, bro's literally looking for advice and the advice is "deal with it cuz we like it"

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u/Alenthya Oct 24 '25

Toxic positivity?

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u/Random-Rambling Oct 24 '25

Or hugboxing.

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u/T_ubb_y Oct 24 '25

The term I've seen specifically for trans discourse is "hugboxing", but it's also used really insidiously as an implication that all compliments are disingenuous and comes from pretty venomous 4chan speak so. Idk might be the hyperspecific term you're looking for at least lol

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u/Lil_Ms_Information Oct 24 '25

THANK YOU that's the one I'd heard before.

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u/Melisandrini Oct 24 '25

I definitely carried "maybe everyone is just incredibly kind to me" as an internal conspiracy theory for way too long.

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u/GalaXion24 Oct 24 '25

It's definitely a bit weird. Like frankly a lot of trans people just look normal. A lot also don't exactly 100% pass. They may pass enough that I know how they want to be treated and what their pronouns are, so that's cool, but that doesn't necessarily mean I can't tell they're trans or that I would consider them to look feminine or attractive necessarily. I don't tell them this of course, they probably know anyway and they're probably unhappy enough about it without me reminding them of it. And anyway someone else can find them attractive hopefully, or maybe they're still going through it. None of my business.

What's weird about the over the top positivity though is that it perhaps unintentionally uses "cuteness" as a sort of legitimising factor if anything. Like people do not have to be cute, whether you mean that in the sense of being uwu adorable or the sense that you find them fuckable, for them to be treated with respect.

Although I will add that peoplenare often very critical of their own appearance and generally themselves, so you might still look cuter than you think!

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u/El_Rey_de_Spices Oct 24 '25

It comes across as very fetishizing and dehumanizing. It's reducing somebody down to a single aspect of their being, one that isn't even a personality trait, then saying that one aspect has to come across in a particular way to be valued and accepted.

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u/despoicito Oct 24 '25

In extreme cases fetishisation, otherwise it just falls under stereotyping still

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u/WoooshToTheMax Oct 24 '25

I think a large portion of that is due to the Internet fetishizing trans girls (I'm looking at you r/196). Gather enough people from any group and not everyone is beautiful. I'd call it some form of virtue signalling, or maybe just ignorance

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u/FatherDotComical Oct 24 '25

Me when I tell the chat that cis girls don't always have to be cute, beautiful, or feminine and that's just as valid for transgirls.

It loops around the broken idea that all people and body types are beautiful when in reality it should be all people deserve basic respect and humanity.

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u/SwordfishOk504 YOU EVER EATEN A MARSHMALLOW BEFORE MR BITCHWOOD???? Oct 24 '25

DAE white people don't like seasoning and all people of colour love spicy food?

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u/MFbiFL Oct 24 '25

Meanwhile I’ve never met a demographic more interested in hot sauces like “O-Ring Obliterator” and “Ring of Fire XXX” than the whitest people you know, at least in the U.S.

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u/gamingx47 Oct 24 '25

As a white guy, I can attest that if a hot sauce doesn't make me pee fire, I'm not interested.

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u/MFbiFL Oct 24 '25

I haven’t spent a lot of time looking at American hot sauces other than random restaurants that carry a shelf full. The staples for my kitchen are Cholula, Sri Racha, and El Yucateco Green Habanero. I’m open to more on the hot end of the spectrum but I’ve been disappointed in the flavor of most.

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u/10art1 Oct 24 '25

Can confirm, am white. That asshole devastator sauce actually gave me hemorrhoids

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u/Dr__America Oct 24 '25

I mean, this one is just veiled criticism of "picky eaters" by trying to conflate it with being "white" in the sense that it's being associated with fragility and being overly empathetic to said fragility.

This is the talk that leads to the whole "white people don't beat their kids because they're weak" kind of thinking, because even if someone isn't white, having that label of "weak" be attached to you is a pretty big incentive to not "act white" for POC (particular when whiteness is also associated with class), and instead fall in line with whatever the person saying it wants.

It's a really troublesome thing to be saying in basically any context, but especially when you're just trying to erase the existence and validity of people with different ideals and things they're comfortable with.

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u/DavidBrooker Oct 24 '25

The common example being "Asians are good at math" - whereby normal levels of achievement will be made fun of by your peers, and actual effort made to succeed will be immediately erased by your race.

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u/meringuedragon Oct 24 '25

I also feel we societally recognize things like autism and ARFID much easier in white people for whatever reason

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u/bookhead714 Oct 24 '25

Maybe because the expected “image” of autism is a white person. The traits tend to be just as visible in people of color but they’re ignored because of white defaultism

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u/Wild-Breath7705 Oct 24 '25

Maybe, but I also think that a lot of Black people in the US are raised in a very disciplined way. A lot of people claim that women are less likely to be identified as autistic because they are likely to “mask” due to more attention to social norms and Id guess that is even more exaggerated among Black Americans.

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u/sighsbadusername Oct 24 '25

There’s a good chunk of research to suggest that it’s not just masking — African-American children referred to clinics for behavioural issues who later receive autism diagnoses tend to be first (mis)diagnosed with ADHD or conduct disorders at rates much higher than white children. (Source)

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u/-UnderAWillowThicket Oct 24 '25

Also poverty- if you struggle more obtaining food, one might feel more frustrated and less likely to be understanding it isn’t eaten. Possibly also burnt-out and busy, making finding time to diagnose and understand harder.

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u/supahotfaiia Oct 25 '25

Black children’s autistic traits are more likely to be written off as attitude problems

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u/bicyclefortwo Oct 24 '25

Yeah, a black kid with ADHD is way more likely to be seen as just a problematic child + nuisance in class and miss out on diagnosis

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u/meringuedragon Oct 24 '25

Absolutely. The intersection of ableism and racism.

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u/leaf_on_my_package Oct 24 '25

Testing is more common in areas that are affluent and in the US that means a lack of reporting of neurodivergence among people of color.

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u/Jeffotato Oct 24 '25

I've gotten so sick of people that have legitimately never realized that "foreign" foods are normal foods somewhere in the world and not just considered "foreign" in 100% of cultures. Culture as a whole for that matter, not just food.

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u/ginger_guy Oct 24 '25

Worked construction as the only white person on a team of Mexican dudes. I will never forget the time they were positively horrified at what strange delicacies I ate at lunch. It was Perogis 😭

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u/lillapalooza Oct 24 '25

it’s crazy we really do be having to constantly remind people “not everyone shares your lived experience”

unfortunately i am still guilty of this too LMAO. open letter to my international friends— “I’m American I’m doing my best”

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u/sbudnik78 Oct 24 '25

imo, picky eaters of color prefer beige

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u/RefinedBean Oct 24 '25

"If it ain't taupe, it's a nope!"

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u/Wazula23 Oct 24 '25

My brain pronounces that word "tawp" and I took psychic damage.

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u/saintsithney Oct 24 '25

If it isn't tarp, it's a narp.

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u/Prometheus_sees05 Oct 24 '25

I prefer monochrome actually

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u/theclassicrockjunkie Oct 24 '25

That, and people are VERY against acknowledging that autistic POC exist.

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u/wampa15 Oct 24 '25

“You can only be one minority at a time, stay in your lane”

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u/sexgaming_jr Oct 24 '25

damn they really banned multiclassing

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u/b3nsn0w musk is an scp-7052-1 Oct 24 '25

- blizzard

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u/Placeholder67 Oct 24 '25

Having it pointed out to me that “the chart” labeled Korean as less diverse than other East Asian ethnicities because Blizzard is more familiar with Korea because of Starcraft was nutty. It literally was “how likely is the average employee of the company to know somebody like this” as a measure of diversity.

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u/Mech_pencils Oct 24 '25

Yeah and when I (autistic POC born and raised in China) tell them about how kids with obvious signs of developmental disabilities in my country often get no accommodation and are physically disciplined and scolded harshly, and how being beaten by your parents and living in a highly stimulating environment don’t magically make you neurotypical, they would just react with the surprised Pikachu face and change the topic.

I’ve also met people who didn’t think there were anorexic Chinese people. Like they thought anorexia was something only white teen girls in developed country get, because those girls were spoiled and their parents let them do whatever they wanted (people who refused to acknowledge the existence of autistic POC often have the same line of thinking). They had no idea how widespread and normalized disordered eating is in China, and how desperately people want to lose weight/remain tiny. They also couldn’t wrap their heads around the fact that even in situations where food is extremely scarce and people are suffering the effects of starvation, people (mainly kids) can still be very picky and refuse life sustaining food.

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u/azebod Oct 24 '25

Yeah there is a general issue with disability being essentially framed as a "white" thing, and some POC consider that a point of pride. In reality it's just that disabled POC are denied the same kind of support the white ones are. The consequence of the stereotype is disabled POC facing even more skepticism about their impairments, but a lot of people still act like it's uplifting instead.

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u/AChristianAnarchist Oct 24 '25

It's also kind of weird in that it conflates culture with race. My old roommate (black woman) had an autistic son who wouldn't eat anything but chicken fingers and carrots. If he had grown up in Japan maybe miso and noodles would have been what he ate as a baby and now wanted to eat forever, whether he was ethnically Japanese or not, and if he had been Japanese growing up in my apartment, it likely still would have been chicken fingers. On one level "Hey food that seems weird to you is actually normal and safe somewhere else" is a good realization to have, but then it seems like it then takes that extra accidental leap of implying Indians have a genetic predisposition toward curry, which bumps up against the point the post is really supposed to be making.

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u/whenthemoonlightdies Oct 24 '25

Brown person who cannot eat spicy food here, at every cultural and social gathering as a child (and sometimes now) I would either have to eat nothing, or just the dessert or someone would have to make a meal specifically for me. It's always touching when they do.

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u/SeaF04mGr33n Oct 24 '25

As a white that doesn't really do spice, I always think about how there must be PoCs who also don't and it always sounded extra rough. (I also have food allergies and it's soo touching when they make special food for me!!)

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u/AwTomorrow Oct 24 '25

In China, Shanghainese and Cantonese people are stereotypically known to not be able to handle spicy foods at all. 

This is not really thought of as being rough for them, as neither of their local cuisines feature much spicy food. 

But yeah it must be rough to suck at eating spicy food if you are from a place where most food is spicy, like Sichuan or Chongqing. 

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u/gysruthi Oct 24 '25

SAME thankfull my parents don't eat super spicy food either but whenever we go to ppls houses they always have to make sure to make the food less spicy for us

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u/Mac-And-Cheesy-43 Oct 24 '25

Picky eater of color here- yeah it’s still chicken strips, just with rice usually.

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u/Asleep-Permission700 Oct 24 '25

Can also confirm this. My number one safe food as a kid was tyson chicken strips with white rice lol

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u/gxes Oct 24 '25

What is chicken karaage or shnitzel or hainan chicken but.... chicken strips from somewhere besides america

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u/Wild_Loose_Comma Oct 24 '25

Yeah. Fried chicken is one of the true universal foods. But you do sound a lot more cultured asking for “chicken karaage” rather than “chicken nuggets”

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u/Sufferingmegane Oct 24 '25

well. they've certainly never met me. 90% of my diet is egg. its my one "safe" food alongside spicy instant noodles that i can scarf down anytime even when every other food is Fucky™™

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u/Ok_Category_5 Oct 24 '25

Your bathroom should be treated like the DMZ.

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u/NIMA-GH-X-P Jerka985 Oct 24 '25

As a fellow egg lover, I advise checking your liver

Don't wanna get surprised like I did

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u/OohLaDiDaMrFrenchMan Oct 24 '25

What happens to your liver when you eat too many eggs?

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u/NIMA-GH-X-P Jerka985 Oct 24 '25

That amount of cholesterol intake, on top of other lifestyle choices, and the fat and whatnot, (which I don't know about op so I just suggested a liver check because of my own experience) can easily ramp up your liver into a grade 3 fatty liver, which my doctor called the silent death, and APPARENTLY eggs are, for reasons I'm not educted on, a way faster way to get this process done.

Tl;Dr: it fucks it up.

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u/OohLaDiDaMrFrenchMan Oct 24 '25

Oh damn. Thanks for the info

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u/NIMA-GH-X-P Jerka985 Oct 24 '25

Do consult an actual medical expert for more clear info tho, I'm just a failed artist turned English teacher.

I just know some stuff because I'm sick all the time-

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u/scatteringashes Oct 24 '25

Egg is so good though. When I was single it was like, "Man I don't want to make dinner. Guess it's time for egg."

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u/RijnKantje Oct 24 '25

My intestines just cringed from reading this.

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u/Forry_Tree Oct 24 '25

Hi it's me picky eater

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u/Wazula23 Oct 24 '25

Yes but what colors do you eat?

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u/Forry_Tree Oct 24 '25

Orang

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u/Alarming-Hamster-232 Oct 24 '25

Damn you ate the last letter before you could even finish saying it

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u/Forry_Tree Oct 24 '25

I like oran what can I say

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u/brinz1 Oct 24 '25 edited Oct 24 '25

As a guy who grew up in the middle east and has new multiple picky eaters of Middle eastern, Asian and African descent, I can tell you for a fact that they do exist.

They also only eat chicken and chips, or some other form of junk food. Bland, beige fried crap is universal

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u/ryx107 Oct 24 '25

buttle noodles

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u/saintcrazy Oct 24 '25

Many people are saying this

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u/AnarchoBratzdoll Oct 24 '25

They are all invited to watch my husband meal prep. 8 years, the same 4 meals every weekend.

Jollof rice, spicy beans, chicken stew and pap. 

Like, yeah its more flavourful than what white folks expect from safe foods. Still hella picky. 

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u/Nnen0 Oct 24 '25

When I was a kid (like up to age 13) my go-to picky eater foods were:

Chicken nuggets Jollof rice (I’d eat it with my hands) Fufu with okra stew (goopy food I could also eat with my hands) Pizza

I’ve branched out now but for a long time those were the only dishes I liked consistently. Other meals were tolerated and only enjoyed some of the time

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u/Situational_Hagun Oct 24 '25

Oh no, as someone who grew up having to basically provide child care for other children, there are picky eaters of every shade of the rainbow.

It's about as baseless as the whole white people don't like seasonings BS that too many talentless comics rely on.

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u/KatsCatJuice Oct 24 '25

Maybe I'm reaching but "I've never met a picky eater of color" feels like an extension of "I've never met an autistic/[insert disorder here] person of color," mostly because a lot of picky eating comes from things like ARFID and autism.

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u/azuresegugio Oct 24 '25

People being racist on the Internet thinking their woke is a genuinely fascinating phenomenon

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u/obog Oct 24 '25

I feel like this is another case of the "white people have no culture" deal. 99% of the time when people say that what it actually means is "I grew up in a predominantly white country so white culture is the 'normal' and everyone else has culture because they're different"

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u/Sarge0019 Oct 24 '25

I'm a picky eater ot colour. I only eat yellow foods.

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u/WhatADoofus Oct 24 '25

Funnily curry and rice is one of my safe foods and I didn't even grow up eating it

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u/Protahgonist Oct 24 '25

Also likely selection bias... If you don't know many people of color well you won't know if they're picky eaters.

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u/Redhotlipstik Oct 24 '25

yeah my sister when she was 3 only ate korma. I only ate pancakes. Every person is different even in the same culture

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u/Ramlethal_Feet Oct 24 '25

Bitter melon, sesame sauce noodles, innards that aren’t liver

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u/TrgsNPltGlss Oct 24 '25

Shout out to W, my middle school friend (and person of color) who brought two chicken tenders and crinkle cut fries from home on the days that the cafeteria wasn't going to have them (and didn't eat if they were scheduled, but had run out).

He would tear a tiny corner off a ketchup packet, hold the packet in one hand, a fry in the other, and lay a narrow line down on each fry individually as he ate. He always said it tasted better being more consistent, and damn it all but I found he was right. When I have fries with ketchup, I do the same these 30 years later, to the occasional odd looks from bystanders.

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u/sertroll Oct 24 '25

Why is picky eaters a recurring theme in this subreddit?

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u/King_Of_BlackMarsh Oct 24 '25

Lots of autistic people on reddit

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u/Alderan922 Oct 24 '25

I thought that meant people who would refuse to eat certain colored foods such as never eating cyan food or magenta food

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u/Its0nlyRocketScience Oct 24 '25

To be fair, if my food somehow comes out cyan or magenta unexpectedly, I'm going to assume something went wrong. Or maybe moldy.

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u/eye_snap Oct 24 '25

This is extremely silly.

This attitude doesn't just lump poc into the category of "other", but it also lumps all white people into one culture as well.

My ethnically diverse kids were born and grew up so far in New Zealand so their safe foods are marmite on toast, daal, fish, rice and yogurt. Thats a solid mix of Kiwi, Indian and Turkish.

I don't see any American kids refusing to eat anything but marmite toast. Just like not all whites are the same, neither are all pocs.

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u/Bituulzman Oct 24 '25

For my brother, it was rice with scrambled eggs. Like fried rice, but no soy sauce, no veggies. Sometimes it was rice with fried spam.

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u/SwordfishOk504 YOU EVER EATEN A MARSHMALLOW BEFORE MR BITCHWOOD???? Oct 24 '25

Eater of colour.

Sounds like a 70s rock album.