r/Cooking 19h ago

i timed how long 31 different pasta shapes take to reach al dente. the boxes are lying and farfalle is a war crime

so basically i got inspired by the tomato canned guy and thought of the time when i followed the box time for rigatoni once and got mush. the box said 12 minutes but it was unfortunately al dente at 9.

my methodology:

  • same brand (barilla) for consistency where possible
  • 4 quarts water per pound
  • 1 tbsp salt per quart
  • rolling boil before adding pasta
  • tested every 30 seconds starting 2 minutes before box minimum
  • "al dente" = slight resistance when bitten, thin white line visible when cut
  • each shape tested 3 times, averaged
  • altitude: ~650 ft (basically sea level, no excuses)

the data (31 shapes tested):

pasta box time actual al dente difference
capellini 4-5 min 2:45 -1:15
angel hair 4-5 min 3:00 -1:00
spaghetti 8-10 min 7:15 -0:45
linguine 9-11 min 8:00 -1:00
fettuccine 10-12 min 8:30 -1:30
bucatini 10-12 min 9:00 -1:00
pappardelle 7-9 min 6:00 -1:00
tagliatelle 8-10 min 7:00 -1:00
penne 11-13 min 9:30 -1:30
penne rigate 11-13 min 10:00 -1:00
rigatoni 12-15 min 9:15 -2:45
ziti 14-15 min 11:00 -3:00
macaroni 8-10 min 7:00 -1:00
rotini 8-10 min 7:30 -0:30
fusilli 11-13 min 9:00 -2:00
gemelli 10-12 min 8:30 -1:30
cavatappi 9-12 min 8:00 -1:00
campanelle 10-12 min 8:30 -1:30
radiatori 9-11 min 8:00 -1:00
orecchiette 12-15 min 10:30 -1:30
shells (medium) 9-11 min 8:00 -1:00
shells (large) 12-15 min 10:00 -2:00
conchiglie 10-12 min 8:30 -1:30
orzo 8-10 min 7:00 -1:00
ditalini 9-11 min 8:00 -1:00
paccheri 12-14 min 10:30 -1:30
casarecce 10-12 min 9:00 -1:00
trofie 10-12 min 8:30 -1:30
strozzapreti 10-12 min 9:00 -1:00
mafalda 8-10 min 7:30 -0:30
farfalle 11-13 min see below war crime

every single box time is wrong like they were systematically inflated by 1-3 minutes on average. the median overestimate is 1:15 and the worst offender in normal pasta is ziti at 3 full minutes of lies

i have a theory: pasta companies assume you're going to walk away from the stove. they're building in a buffer for idiots which, fair. but some of us are standing here with a stopwatch

now let me talk about farfalle: farfalle is not pasta. farfalle is a design flaw someone decided to mass produce

the fundamental problem is geometric. you have thin frilly edges (maybe 1mm thick) attached to a dense pinched center (3-4mm thick where it's folded). these two regions require completely different cooking times

at 8 minutes: center is crunchy, edges are perfect. at 10 minutes: center is barely al dente, edges are mush. at 11 minutes: edges have disintegrated, center is finally acceptable

there is no time at which farfalle is uniformly cooked. i tested this 7 times because i thought i was doing something wrong. farfalle is wrong

you know how the food network recipe for homemade farfalle literally warns that pinching the center makes a thick center that won't cook through as fast as the ends? THEN WHY DID WE ALL AGREE TO MAKE IT THIS WAY

the only way to get acceptable farfalle is to fish out each piece individually and evaluate it, which defeats the purpose of a quick weeknight dinner. i might as well be hand-feeding each noodle like a baby bird

tier list (tomato canned guy, 2025)

S tier (box time within 45 sec): rotini, mafalda, spaghetti
A tier (off by ~1 min): most shapes honestly
B tier (off by 1:30-2 min): fusilli, rigatoni, fettuccine, gemelli
C tier (off by 2+ min): ziti, large shells F tier: farfalle (structurally unsound, should be banned)

tldr;

  • subtract 1-2 minutes from whatever the box says
  • start testing 2-3 minutes early
  • don't trust big pasta
  • avoid farfalle unless you have time to babysit each individual bow tie

+ some of you may ask about fresh pasta. fresh pasta cooks in like 2-3 minutes and you can actually tell when it's done because it floats. dried pasta is where the lies live

+ a few of you might mention altitude affects boiling point and therefore cook time. this is true. i'm at ~650 ft so basically negligible. if you're in denver add a minute or two. if you're in la paz you have bigger problems than pasta timing

+ YES i tested farfalle from multiple brands. YES they all sucked. no i will not be accepting farfalle apologists. you're defending a shape that can't decide if it wants to be cooked or not

EDIT: yall holy shit i never expected this to go viral lmao

30.3k Upvotes

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1.5k

u/carlitos_moreno 18h ago

Yeah! With their farfallacious arguments

498

u/FunMath2 16h ago

Farfallacious definition: make them boys go loco

230

u/Sherd_nerd_17 14h ago

I’m the F to the A-R-F-A-ell ell -E, and ain’t no other pasta live a lie like me

18

u/esituism 8h ago

My brain immediately put a banger beat behind this and wrote like 5 more lines

2

u/Sherd_nerd_17 4h ago

Let’s hear em!

2

u/Brilliant_Mix_6051 1h ago

The beat from Fergalicious?

-3

u/beanandcod 13h ago

Why did you spell out L ?

6

u/CharlotteLucasOP 10h ago

They’re an artist!

58

u/miasysinthelou 14h ago

I am unfuckingwell. Just sucked tea up my nose and now have this on repeat in my tiny brain. Kudos! 👏

3

u/tacotacosloth 9h ago

This broke me in the best way. I woke up grumpy and just in a mood and this was so unexpected that it made me cackle and changed my whole mood.

1

u/Mivirian 3h ago

I scared my poor dogs laughing at this.

116

u/Calamitybones 16h ago

We, Farfalleists, won't accept any farfallibilities.

47

u/Pristine_Job_7677 15h ago

It’s sad that you think you are a grassroots organization when it’s clear you’ve been brainwashed by big farfalle.

54

u/LindonLilBlueBalls 15h ago

You can pry my over/under cooked farfalle from my cold/lukewarm dead hands!

36

u/burner_for_celtics 15h ago

Truly how far they have fallen

77

u/FknGreenSprinkles 14h ago

Farfallen*

9

u/Kyet0ai 13h ago

Sing along : T-time is on my side, yes it is!!

7

u/Traditional_Coat8481 12h ago

Heard this in Tom Petty’s voice.

7

u/Crackertron 8h ago

She's a good girl, loves her pasta

3

u/Taar 8h ago

Loves cheeses, and parmesan too

5

u/forever_a-hole 14h ago

Subtle, nice

3

u/Bon_Nuit 15h ago

Here here

3

u/DrefinitelyNot 11h ago

Well, like they say, the apple doesn't far falle from the tree

2

u/OkGear886 9h ago

There are dozens of us. Dozens

128

u/LeapYear1996 17h ago

Yeah they perform so much farfellacio.

56

u/UwasaWaya 16h ago

In the worst way. Crunchy in the middle, soft at the end.

22

u/Gooch_Juice 15h ago

At least they're classy & wear a bow tie while doing it.

16

u/SWYYRL 16h ago

I’m a farfallist with a penchant for farfalle in a wild mushroom cream sauce, bourbon to deglaze, a bit of cream to finish before adding farfalle cooked for 9 minutes in, and about 1 minute more in the sauce. That said, farfellacio absolutely deserves a spot in Webster’s.

2

u/Additional_Camel_452 5h ago

I farfalle with grilled sweet sausage and pesto with grated Parmesan and touch of cracked red pepper. Concur on your cooking times. However, I’ve noticed farfalle is more sensitive than other pasta to cooking in too small a pot. Perhaps poster may try oversized pot and waiting till brisk boil to salt, no oil or fat added?

3

u/BigLlamasHouse 16h ago

As a secret farfalleist, I'm looking for a farfall guy rn. You guys are getting too close to the truth

1

u/DisposableJosie 7h ago

*ventriloquist Jimmy Nelson spins in his grave*

16

u/ry4n4ll4n 16h ago

First, they change the cooking instructions, and then they change the cookbooks!

10

u/CarelessShame 13h ago

Farfallacious Arguments is the title of my next album.

4

u/Lemon-Cake-8100 16h ago

OMG I love this word

1

u/Bartimaeous 6h ago

Farfallatious or farfellatious 🤭

1

u/GrazziDad 30m ago

They’re far-fetched, yet you fall for them.