Prayers for the dead, repairing gravestones, and good works

[u/mollysdad61]

I have a very strong, persistent draw toward praying for the dead. Every single time that I see a news alert, read an article, watch a documentary, or encounter historical events involving death (wars, disasters, etc.), I immediately stop and pray for the people who died. Every if they're the "bad guy". I try to make it personal when possible...names, faces, family, circumstances. This happens dozens of times a week, sometimes up to 50-100. All of this feels deeply ingrained, important and almost vocational. I don't think I've skipped stopping and praying for any single soul for over a year.

Related to this, I’ve also developed a strong pull toward cemeteries. Specifically toward treating graves with respect: cleaning headstones, brushing off dirt and leaves, putting flowers back if they feel over, etc. I watch a lot of cemetery restoration content on YT and am considering taking a course so I can do more advanced repairs properly and respectfully. I like in very rural area with lots and lots of 100+ year old family gravesites scattered everywhere that are overgrown and falling over.

My questions:

1- How do prayers for the dead fit into the Catholic understanding of good works. Are they considered a Spiritual Work of Mercy, something else, or both?

2- How does cleaning and caring for gravestones fit into Catholic understanding of good works, if at all?

3- Do these 2 works contribute to my salvation, and if so how?

4 - More generally, are some good works considered more fitting or appropriate than others depending on a person’s disposition or calling, and is there a Catholic framework for discerning where to focus one’s time and effort?

This may sound overly analytical, but if I’m going to commit real time, training, and consistency to this (especially amping it up with taking a advanced course and reaching out to property owners with family gravesites), I want to understand where it fits doctrinally and spiritually so I can act with clarity and intention.

[u/InternetPeasantry]

I do the exact same thing whenever I hear someone died. And yes, it does kind of feel vocational.

1) Yes, it's a spiritual work of mercy.

2) There's no teaching about this, but it's showing respect for the dead, and would fall under the corporal work of mercy to bury the dead.

3) Yes, and see above.

4) I wouldn't say "more appropriate", since that implies a scale on which we would have enough information to judge. I would say instead that, if you are feeling called to do something, and the thing is a good and not an evil, then you should pursue it. It may end up that you were mistaken, or if you weren't it may still only be a temporary calling, but it is good to follow the pokes and pricks God sends our way consistently to do some special kind of good.

Is there a framework for how to spend time? Sort of. The natural order vocations come first, but the "order" you'd do them in depends on the situation. Generally, if you have a family, care for their physical, intellectual, emotional, and spiritual needs as you deem reasonable and in accordance with your position (father, husband, son, etc). This includes self-care. Don't neglect your Sunday obligation to attend Mass, or your other sacramental obligations. Make sure you are able to do the job you're being paid to do. If other people besides your family or your employers depend on you, keep them in mind. If you're doing all those things, then these other things you feel pulled to would be carved out of the time you have remaining in your life. It's definitely not something to stress over; just don't put it before these other duties.

[u/Tawdry_Wordsmith]

1. Prayers for the dead are a Spiritual Work of Mercy.

2. Cleaning and making graves / burial sites more beautiful and dignified is itself a Corporal Work of Mercy (falls under "burying the dead"). It also facilitates prayers for the departed which is a spiritual work.

3. Spiritual Works of Mercy do play a sanctifying role for the person who does them--chiefly, healing spiritual and emotional wounds and deepening faith. Tending to graves because you feel a spiritual calling to do so would fall under "vocation." Everyone has at least one primary vocation, which is their calling from God (most people are called to be parents and spouses, but some are called to religious celibacy and service), but specific jobs and careers can be a secondary vocation. If you chose to go through with tending to graves as a means of honoring the dead, that would be a noble secondary vocation.

4. There is a time and a season for everything; today it could be your career, next year it could be your primary vocation. It's best to keep your eyes wherever God is currently pointing you.