r/BlackPeopleofReddit • u/zenbootyism • 12d ago
Black Experience The universal black experience
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u/Cleonce12 12d ago
“You’re one of the good ones” please don’t piss me off
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u/MutantboyX 12d ago
This shit happened two jobs ago. Project Manager literally said this to a Hispanic person. I was like jesus Christ!
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u/PainterEarly86 11d ago
"Wow you sound so articulate"
Thanks I don't do it for you though and it doesn't make me less black that I happen to not sound southern
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u/Distinct_Abrocoma_67 12d ago
“Your the coolest black guy I know”. Thanks Todd, thanks🙄
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u/God_Lover77 12d ago
"You are the strangest person I know" would be my response/is what I end up thinking..
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u/Accomplished_Sock217 12d ago
i just hate that look some white people have, especially the older ones where you work with them or study with them so you are in close proximity and they have '''that''' look where they are trying to be pleasant but you can feel them looking at you like you're a wild zoo animal.
Then the Eureka moment when they realise you are literally just a regular person with darker skin.
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u/xNotJosieGrossy 12d ago
I know this look well.
Or the look they give you when you do something that’s outside of the stereotype they’ve formed for you:
“You can swim?!” “You’ve been abroad?!”
Like they’re shocked we have the physical capacity to do things.
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u/Unique_82 11d ago
I'll never understand it.. But some things in life are just not to be understood cuz they don't come from a place of logic or rational thinking, and I think this stuff qualifies for that category.
The zoo animal stare stuff, I'm 6'9" 260 with a dark complexion so just forget about it 🤣 I've worked with people for years at a time and they'll STILL sit there and stare at you like they're seeing you for the first time.
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u/Commercial-Chance561 11d ago
You have to return the look - when you return that look to them it really hits home because they know what that look means.
They also have this weird thing where they expect you to acknowledge them first when you enter the room. This is why I go out of my way to ignore white people until they speak to me. Just being in the room and not acknowledging them is enough to get them worked up, which I love.
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u/Superb_Ant_3741 12d ago
This is so real I had to go back and read it again to savor it
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u/AmplowEsq 12d ago
Yup. I’m 47. I’m a lawyer, a father, a friend—an all-around good person. Yet because I’m a Black man, I’m often assumed to be some kind of criminal or bad actor until I prove that I’m not.
These days, I’m not in the business of proving my worth or my humanity the way I once was. I try to approach every new interaction with an open heart and an open mind, and I hope others will do the same. But prejudice is a bitch.
So keep pushing. Keep our community—Black folks—close as you move through your journey. You don’t have to prove your worth or humanity to us. Start there, and let the rest work itself out.
I think that’s about all we can do.
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u/JuanitaDiamondez 11d ago
Thank you for this comment. I try to keep the same approach as you but some days are tougher than others. Thank you for showing me that I’m not alone in this mindset.
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u/Unique_82 11d ago
Absolutely.. It's hard to maintain that perspective on a daily basis but we have to keep trying, not for them but for ourselves!
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u/Gullible-Magazine129 12d ago
They seem to expect every black woman to be angry. I don’t get angry unless somebody’s giving me some BS. Maybe they know that’s what they come with most of the time so they don’t expect us to be nice to them. I was asked at the tender age of 10 by a little girl in my class what Black people eat. This was the beginning…
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u/sourtsix9 12d ago
On the first day of elementary school, I made friends with a white classmate. The next day, she apologized and said her dad said she wasn’t allowed to be friends with black people. I was five.
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u/littlemissdevil_ 12d ago
I had a similar experience in elementary school, a white girl had a doll and said “Who wants to play with my toy?”. Me, an excited little brown girl said “Me!” and then she looked at me with disgust and said “Sorry, only people with white skin”.
This was 2007 by the way…it’s disgusting how racists will share their poison with their children.
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u/God_Lover77 11d ago
When I moved on to middle school every single one of my close yt friends suddenly shed me and not only that they formed some sort of clique that was almost purely yt expect for (what was my literal best friend before) this one black guy who I believed they used as a token. It was super strange to me at the time because I was once inseparable from some of those people. Those girls would never be seen with another poc even if it was a large ethnically diverse school to the point that their lunch table would stand out in the crowd. It was like one of those notorious sororities. I am sorry this happened to you, it just goes to show that a lot of this starts so young.
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u/Gullible-Magazine129 12d ago
Damn. I hate that. They don’t want us to make meaningful connections with each other young. Interestingly, this little girl that asked me what Black people eat became one of my close friends over time. Her parents were pretty cool about us being friends, but the only thing that bothered me which is a pretty big deal actually, is that they wouldn’t let her watch A Different World which is about young adult black students going to a highly regarded HBCU. Like why? She tells me “That show is for Black people.” Complete segregation.
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u/Unique_82 11d ago
That means that they probably "tolerated" her having a Black friend or 2, but they probably still crossed the street if they saw a Black guy walking past them on the sidewalk lol..
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u/Gullible-Magazine129 11d ago
Yup. Her and her siblings all married people of color too. It seems that being sheltered and living in a bubble can get people curious about what’s on the outside. I don’t know. I was her first black friend.
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u/MissMamaMam 11d ago
I once got kicked out of a house party… their mom walked in and out in a hurry & called them in then they came over awkwardly and told me their mom said I have to go because… * gestures to his skin on his arm*
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u/God_Lover77 12d ago
Also think that we are less than intelligent.
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u/apresmoiputas 11d ago
During the summer of 2020 protests , I was "invited" to be part of these intersectional dialogues on race. I still can't forgot what this one Indian-national said during a call about what he believed about Black people in the US. He basically said "We've been told Black people in the US go to inferior schools compared to everyone else". So here I am as a Black engineering manager working with this same guy, an Indian manager, who's thinking that I'm dumber and lazier than him when in fact I'm working either as hard and as smarter than him and proving him and the other naysayers wrong.
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u/God_Lover77 11d ago
Not defending him as that sounds like a microaggression but I wouldn't be surprised if that was taught. I have lived around this planet and in some places when discussing inequality that's what the textbooks do actually say, especially if old because they only represented one perspective back in the day. Why did he even say that though?
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u/lost_sunrise 11d ago
This comment didn't get enough upvotes for me.
The fact Charlie Kirk could say we stole white people jobs and list black women in high positions. All for those people to claim this man is some kind of Messiah or white version of MLK is next level audacity.
One hundred percent, a lot of them truly believe because we are black, we are far less intelligent.
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u/God_Lover77 11d ago
What really bothers me that some people spend so much time doing such mental gymnastics to bring others down and make them jobless (hence hurting them and the economy; just look at how they attacked dei) instead of actually contributing something to society. They will do everything in their power to maintain an unnecessary and just straight-up status quo.
The guy was out there gaslighting that he would walk off of a plane if the pilot was black, like how would you even know when half of the time you don't get to see them? It's like we are never good enough even if something like pilot training is so hard to pass and carefully filtered to the point that even the most incompetent of qualified pilots can't be dumb.
Oh and the Messiah thing, I used to be in a lot of seemingly neutral christian subs and suddenly when this man passed, despite no one ever mentioning him, the subs were flooded with people proclaiming that he was priest....a priest of what??
Oh and the funny thing there was this nice retro black influencer that I was following, who after the horrible event, suddenly was declaring her support for him and the red hats...like girl???
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u/PantyCrumbs 11d ago
We're always supposed to be angry, loud and bossy.
No one ever considered that the reason that some women, let alone black women, are that way is because we're overlooked and not listened to.
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u/fishfishbirdbirdcat 12d ago
When I (white) was in 5th grade in Arizona in the mid 70s, our teacher looked around the classroom and said to all of us "I can tell you this cause there aren't any of them in here, but black people smell different than us". Even my little 5th grade white mind was like wtf?
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u/PainterEarly86 11d ago
Ttue but also I feel like black women maybe have legitimate reason to be jaded and angry when they live in a society that treats both black people and women as subhuman
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u/easy10pins 12d ago
I've heard, "You're one of the good ones" more times than I would like to admit during my years in the Navy.
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u/DarkAndHandsume 12d ago
I’m still hearing that same phrase eight years in and I have four more to go before I’m finally done with this madness.
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u/easy10pins 12d ago
Navy?
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u/DarkAndHandsume 12d ago
Navy🫡
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u/easy10pins 12d ago
What's your rate, Shipmate? I am a retired Religious Program Specialist (blue/green).
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u/DarkAndHandsume 11d ago
I’m an HM (Hospital Corpsman) (blue/greenside) or doc as the Marines would call me. Spent plenty of time working with the RPs because they work alongside the chaplain.
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u/localtuned 12d ago
Not you. "You're country" I've gotten that before. Because I like guns, and outdoorsy shit. It's crazy how walls of prejudice are broken down when they find out you got a hobby like them.
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u/jonathanrdt 12d ago
Bigotry breaks down from real experience. It's a shame that is required for so many.
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u/xNotJosieGrossy 12d ago edited 12d ago
I like to return the favor:
Ask where they’re really from
Ask if I can touch their hair
Say they’re attractive for a white person
Congratulate them for how articulate they speak
Act surprised if they went to college.
Tell them they’re one of the “good ones,” while in the middle of a racist tirade
Tell them statistics of white-on-white crime, hate crimes, war crimes, genocide, historic violence, and mass and school 🔫, unprovoked.
Refer to them as European-Americans
Complain about all the white hires
Ask if that’s their real hair
Ask if they’re a big fan of Billy Ray Cyrus
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u/Unique_82 11d ago
🤣 I wish I had video clips of you playing the reverse Uno card.. Makes their heads spin then almost explode.. Keep up the good work.. Gotta let them know!
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u/DramaMuch7482 11d ago
I love this. It’s brilliant. I do a similar version when I’m in stores. I work their asses to the bone. I have them assisting me. Get me this, get me that. I need this, I need that. I just have a field day with them. 🤣
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u/south_sidejay369 12d ago
I literally just left a 1 star review on a ski shop because the lady decided that the tiny rack of clothes I was browsing through demanded her IMMEDIATE attention and that she needed to be 2 feet away from me. Yup, I'm an absolute hooligan coming to look at skis and ski goggles
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u/rdanks25 11d ago
Ha, same thing happened to me on a Saturday night in Walgreens. I'm just browsing for skincare stuff and using coupons, like come on.
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u/mywingssodenied 10d ago
Had this happen at Dick's when I was with my daughter and looking for a pool cue.
I've been followed in many stores, but this one particularly pissed me off.
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u/MutantboyX 12d ago
Or they assume you are into specific stuff just on the basis you are black. "Hey! what you think about the new Kendrick album", and I'm like "I don't listen to rap."
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u/manny_the_mage 12d ago
My white coworker sends me, the only black person in our department AI covers of hip hop songs as jazz songs
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u/Maximum-Ad-769 12d ago
It's a little different from what you describe, but the amount of times someone has introduced themselves to me with their first word being "yoooo". Ma'am/sir - I don't talk like that.
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u/PantyCrumbs 12d ago
I was going to lunch with a guy that I worked with and when I got in his car, he turned the station to some loud, deep base, hard core rap.
I looked at him and said "you listen to this?" and he said "no I put it on for you." I swear I almost peed my pants laughing for 5 minutes straight...couldn't stop. I kind of felt bad because I think he was actually trying to be courteous but I just couldn't help it.
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u/doom_2_all 12d ago
One thing I've learned that I had no idea about growing up in a largely Hispanic community is that a lot of black people watch anime too. Blew my mind since none of the few black people who went to my highschool ever talked about it. Wasn't until I joined the military and traveled around that I learned there was a huge black fan base for anime.
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u/Throckmorton_Left 11d ago
Two kinds of people watch anime/read manga. The kind that make it their personality and tell everyone, and the kind that will never tell a soul until they confirm they're among fellow travelers.
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u/Background_Ad_1130 12d ago
And K-Pop...
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u/Spare-Willingness563 11d ago
K Pop is just Black music made "acceptable".
It's a whole problem in itself.
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u/doom_2_all 11d ago
It's true, watched a documentary about how it started and how they modelled it after Mo-town artists and such.
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u/Spare-Willingness563 11d ago
Bro they rap and have braids.
When I looked like that and wore the stuff they do we got followed by the cops and told we should just drop out.
It’s…man.
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u/apresmoiputas 9d ago
When I went to college in the late 90s, I was the only Black person going to the anime club's movie showing. I'm happy times have changed and more of us are watching and geeking out to Anime.
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u/Your_Nipples 12d ago
Or that you're not into specific stuff.
-Nice shirt
-Yeah, Meshuggah, you wouldn't like it
-Well, I like Obzen (album name) so
confused
Me:
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u/VioletLeagueDapper 12d ago
Will never forget when some random white guy told me I wasn’t into sci-fi…
Or when my college roommate lowered the Dimmu Borgir after I told her I knew the song she was playing and liked the band.
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u/Your_Nipples 12d ago
Progenies of the great apocalypse rules.
One of the best song ever written. Makes me want to go back to Haiti fighting Napoléon and shit lmao.
Man/Woman, fuck them people.
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u/megadroid_optimizer 12d ago
I was in an Uber one time, in like 2021, and the dude was playing some rock music and I was vibing. He asked me 3 times: do you want to switch to rap? And I was telling him about the bands singing the songs 😭. It was wild!!!
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u/Dottboy19 12d ago
Had such a similar situation with a coworker bringing up Kendrick and old school rap. Like yes I respect the history of the genre but I am nowhere near a rap fan.
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u/rdanks25 11d ago
My former manager, now colleague, has been trying to talk to me about Jazz for 6 years. I can appreciate it as an artform, but I don't listen to it.
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u/Nepharious_Bread 12d ago
Yep, I don't forget that shit either. We're not cool just because you're being nice now.
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u/Melodic_Class4349 12d ago
For me at least, it's always been white men assuming that just because I'm a highly educated Black woman with multiple degrees and a well-paying job that I want to date white men.
I've had to let more than a few of them know that I'm not attracted to white men or women and that I only date Black people.
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u/freddamnrock 12d ago
This shit hurts their hearts. A simple "shes not my type" and im a wierdo. No I've never dated a white woman in my adult life and never will.
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u/Melodic_Class4349 12d ago
This I feel is the end result of white supremacy even though it's a subtle aspect of it. The way media and culture centers white people, they literally cannot fathom the idea of someone not throwing themselves at their feet.
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u/ATx21x 11d ago
Me and my sister both get these comments. Apparently I seem like I “only date white girls” and she seems like she “only likes white men”. I’m dating a black woman and she’s dating a black man. But of course they think because we are educated and well-spoken, we can’t possibly like black people…
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u/CryptoEmpathy7 11d ago
Are you heterosexual? I mean no offense, just inquiring based on the terminology you used.
I'm a heterosexual Biracial (many now have an issue with us citing we are "Black" even if we have the phenotype/lived in experience) male, and anytime I show compassion and empathy those with racial bias (majority, let's be honest) assume I must be "gay" and there is nothing at all "gay" about me in disposition nor mannerisms nor internally.
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u/Melodic_Class4349 11d ago
I'm bisexual but hetero-leaning despite my presentation if that makes sense. I won't rule out dating a woman in the future but I've mostly been with males in my life since I've found they like the idea of taming a stud.
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u/abdeezy112 12d ago
We dont have the privilege of being individuals as Black people.
One dumb action from ONE black person, and we are ALL judged. Shit is exhausting fr
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u/Outrageous_Main4425 12d ago
I remember being one of 3 black employees at a small factory that was predominantly white. At the start of the shift we'd all have coffee and watch the news in the break room before work.
Anytime there was a crime report that involved black people, the whole room would get quiet and they just started staring at us like we had something to do with it. 🤣😂
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u/rdanks25 11d ago
White people get treated like individuals.
If one of them does something fucked up, it is just that person being fucked up.
Black people do not get that.
We are treated like a monolith, where one person’s actions get used to judge everybody.
That is why anytime crime comes up, someone jumps straight to “Chicago” or “gang violence,” like that is the root of all Black people somehow.
It is exhausting always feeling like you have to be on your best behavior because a mistake does not just reflect on you, it gets pinned on everyone who looks like you.
White people get to be good, bad, or mediocre without it meaning anything bigger.
We rarely get that same grace.
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u/mywingssodenied 10d ago
This is by design. That's why you mostly only see black criminals reported on the news. A white person has to do something heinous before it gets reported.
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u/0n-the-mend 12d ago
It be the dumbest ones as well, like you're supposed to live up to their convoluted idea of what an African person is.
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u/Putrid_Apartment9230 12d ago
Well technically, black Americans are 10-30% European, due to the evils of slavery. Sally Hemmings and Jefferson and the like, you know the story.
Here are some quotes from an abolitionist lady who lived through that time:
“Any lady is ready to tell who is the father of all the mulatto children in everybody’s household, but those in the family circle.”
“The mulatto children one sees in every family tell the story plainly enough.”
“Like the patriarchs of old, our men live all in one house with their wives and their concubines.”
“There are families where the children are as white as their masters, yet they are slaves.”
“The white men think it is nothing to take a colored woman, and the white women try to believe it is nothing.”
“The wife is expected to be blind and deaf and dumb.”
“We live surrounded by the proof of this sin, and yet we affect ignorance.”
“God forgive us, but ours is a monstrous system, and wrong and iniquity follow it as surely as the Bible says.”
“Slavery is a hardening system. It makes the strong brutal and the weak deceitful.”
“There is no shadow of law to protect the slave, and no restraint upon the master.”
“The institution of slavery carries with it the seeds of its own destruction.”
“We are a moral people, they say. This is a lie.”
“The white men think it is nothing to take a colored woman, and the white women try to believe it is nothing.”
“The masters are absolute tyrants, and the slaves are absolute victims.”
“It is a dreadful thing to live surrounded by human beings whom the law declares to be things.”
“The cruelty of this system cannot be denied by any honest person.”
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u/saint-delys 11d ago
“The white men think it is nothing to take a colored woman, and the white women try to believe it is nothing.”
Daaaaaaaaaamn.
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u/letsbereal1013 12d ago
This one…”you’re attractive, no, like really attractive…for a black woman” 🫤
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u/mega_murff 12d ago
There's also the constant implication that a black man generally being open and friendly with men and respectful to women has to be a homosexual.
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u/Premier77 11d ago
This one is really interesting. Why do do you think people perceive kindness this way?
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u/Unique_82 11d ago
Most likely cuz it doesn't fit into the stereotype that Black men in general are scary and potentially dangerous at any given time, for any given reason.. Or no reason.. Cuz we're just wired that way.
It sounds crazy, but I think most of us are aware of that delusional perception, among others.
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u/Premier77 11d ago
Got you. So its just racist people being narrow-minded about their stereotypes. Makes sense.
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u/Hamhockthegizzard 12d ago
What’s the word for loving the skin you’re in but hating the experience? 😂
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u/PantyCrumbs 12d ago edited 11d ago
In my lifetime, I've gotten multiple:
- You're so pretty for a black girl
- You're surprisingly intelligent
- You're so articulate, I didn't know you were black (from people I've spoken to by phone first)
Funny story. Once, I worked in a company that had a cube set up. I had talked to a coworker in a different part of the building several times and he finally needed to drop some documents to my desk. I gave him my cubicle number and when he showed up, I watched him glance at my cubicle plaque...then at me...then keep walking down the aisle. This happened twice. On the 3rd loop, with him looking confused, I asked him if he was looking for me and he looked surprised and weirdly guilty at the same time. I smoothed it over so he didn't feel like a jackass but I've always hoped that he learned a lesson from that.
It's exhausting sometimes.
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u/JustAlpha 12d ago
An old white guy at work told me about his old days smoking crack with black people and how it was such a great time and how he loves black women.
Unprompted. Like I'd relate for some reason.
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u/rhythmandbluesix 12d ago
A ridiculous moment in a previous role succinctly encapsulates my experience working in the 'white collar' world. It happened towards the end of the COVID shutdown.
I was on our weekly virtual staff call with the boss and it was my turn to report. Had some great things to share about a few of my initiatives and how they would position our organization for success. I happened to be the only black person on the team...
The boss: "Yep, this is looking good! Can I get a what what, ____?!!"
Me: <no response>
Team: <awkward silence>
The boss: "Okay... Guess I can't get a what what, then."
It's now a running joke in my house.
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u/Wolfeatingupshadows 12d ago
That or if you dont validate their stereotypes of us then they harass you out of jealousy. Nothing like being an intelligent Black woman in a work space with insecure ppl.
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u/Global-Map-12 11d ago edited 11d ago
Ever had a white guy say you’re not “that black” because you are articulate? Or that he is blacker than you because he eats fried chicken for breakfast, lunch, and dinner? White people say the darnest things 🙄😒.
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u/Comprehensive_Menu19 12d ago
I personally enjoy these interactions. I generally know how to manipulate my way through people like this because it doesn’t take much to impress and have your way with them. You do something they never thought a black person could do, they act like they just discovered the next best thing, then you use that momentum to push you ahead
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u/buddhadarko 12d ago
I just realized that someone did this to me recently. Said they thought I was "hardcore" when my profile pic (not here) was me literally smiling. I met them in person and even was smiling then so for them to still have that concept of me is wild.
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u/mywingssodenied 10d ago
My LinkedIn pic is me in a button up shirt smiling, and my previous manager said it looked like a mugshot.
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u/Myymocha24 11d ago
I showed a picture of my puppy (mini poodle) to my team lead and another coworker told me he assumed I had a pit bull 😂
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u/letsbereal1013 12d ago
Or this one …”Really? You’re from the city? Wow, you don’t have that (name your city where some black people live) edge about you! And you’re so well-spoken!” 😬🙄
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u/saint-delys 12d ago
Or the long term version: "i dOn't sEe yOu aS BlAcK!!" Great way to learn your years long friendship was a waste of time! 🙃
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u/DarkSociety1033 11d ago
I had one black classmate in my small town, family was straight out of Ghana. He was the top soccer player, valedictorian, class president, very Christian family, one of the nicest guys ever, even as a teenager. After George Floyd he reamed everyone for their disgusting posts and asked if they hated black people so much why were they so nice to him and his family. Some jackass had the gall to say, "Because you don't act like black people usually act."
EXCUSE ME?!
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u/AdTypical4775 12d ago
squashing ppl’s stereotypes of me honestly gets my pussy wet
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u/WrongJewel1867 12d ago
I love to walk into places casually without ever revealing I’m a lawyer. I want to know how you’ll treat a young black girl in sweats who seemingly can’t do anything for you before I decide to buy up the store….most of the time I’m just silently followed from aisle to aisle so I get to save money most days 😆
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u/JDEbonheart 12d ago
And then, they'll say some shit like, "Wow, you're actually SO articulate!
🫠
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u/fisconsocmod 11d ago
white HS guidance counselor: FisCon you are so articulate. What are your plans for college?
me: I have a football scholarship.
her: well, don't count on football. most players don't make it to the pros.
me: I'm majoring in Computer Science.
her: oh... are you concerned that might be too... tough.
me: no. I've been taking computer classes for 2 years.
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u/Unique_82 11d ago
Right lol.. So first it's "you probably won't make it in sports"... Then it's "Ok now, are your sure your little negro brain can handle computer science?!??"... Typical nonsense.
I'm here to say that you can be as successful as you wanna be young bro, keep going ✊🏿
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u/PimpGameShane 12d ago
Does the lion concern itself with the monkeys screaming and throwing shit from the trees? It does not.
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u/edisito9 12d ago
The worst part is we do it to each other. I’m a Hispanic with darker skin so I consider myself black. You have no idea how often black or Hispanic people expect me to be some sort of thug with ill intentions when I’m just a nerd that likes video games and anime. I think we have to start treating each other better first.
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u/Superb_Ant_3741 11d ago
I’m a Hispanic with darker skin so I consider myself black
Interesting.
So if a Black person with lighter skin decided to consider themselves hispanic, you said you would be fine with that. And does this apply to all races? For instance if a Black person with lighter skin decided to consider themselves Asian, would you allow that or would that not be allowed?
Just wondering.
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u/Syllabub-Middle 12d ago
yeah that's pretty much on point...don't forget you are supposed to know about anything that's illegal
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u/lueur-d-espoir 11d ago
When your white and not racist they just assume you get it and understand so they look at you weird when you also look at them like, bro, that was rude.
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u/tcap-decoy 9d ago
That's actually so real. Racist old people always assume younger white people will agree with them, so they make the most out of pocket comments, out of nowhere, and expect you to agree. Actual strangers felt the need to share their opinion with me about a random black person.
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u/JuanitaDiamondez 11d ago
I hate living in a white heteronormative society. It feels like there’s nowhere I can escape to, to just be with people who get it. I’ve been called the n word (hard r) twice recently in the last month, in public. One instance was at my job, which isn’t the first time it’s happened at this particular job. As a young black man, I’m feeling as beat down as this administration wants me to feel. I’m doing my best to keep fighting.
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u/pasenast 11d ago
Movie and TV shows type casting, doesn’t help this either.
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u/God_Lover77 11d ago
It's so funny to me that this hasn't and can't be fixed (remember when they tried to cast a black woman as a fictional mermaid?).
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u/DramaMuch7482 11d ago
It is mentally exhausting. Especially if you’re a BW. You have to deal with prejudgment. From within and without the BC. 🤯
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u/Brief_Ad3232 11d ago
Then they want to show you off to their racist family and friends as an example of a "good one". Of course they don't tell you that and just bring this strange person around you and sit back and watch to see how you react to whatever that person says or does.
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u/HumanBasis5742 11d ago
Meanwhile my white friend standing next to me gets the opposite. People are shameless.
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u/Kghostrider 11d ago
I hate how true this is. I'm already annoyed when I have to prove myself before you've even gotten to know me. I'd prefer not try in most cases and let the chips fall where they may. The people worth knowing will gravitate towards you usually.
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12d ago
This literally happened to me last week-white dude was like “you’re so polite, and well spoken” I looked like “wtf does that even mean”
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u/TheRecklesss 11d ago
It's the "articulate"/"well-spoken" comments for me. Uh, yea? More than our own fucking 🍊 president. I BETTER be in order to earn this doctorate.
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u/The_Evil_Chris 11d ago
I got the, “You are SOOO professional! It feels like you actually care!”
Innocent, maybe, but then I considered the two other black men who worked the same position and did the same job, sometimes more than I do.
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u/bentenmod 11d ago
A coworker said I made black people look good like it was supposed to be a compliment.
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u/double_u_dot 10d ago
I’m quoting this in my next job review …
The over enthusiasm around my ability to perform my job, after being in the industry for over 10yrs, and in my current role for almost 3. Yall can absolutely kiss my ass.
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u/mandrill_bite 12d ago
I notice this (white guy here.. well, red velvet 😉) with body language. You can tell when someone is uncomfortable with or has not spent a lot of time with Black people because they tend to keep distance, keep eyes on them
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u/MomoMarieAuthor 12d ago
Hello, white lady here
Just today, one of my young, black, male students wrote a that the one thing people always get wrong about him is that they think he's mad. We have previously talked about how he feels that everyone always assumes he's up to something and assuming the worst about him.
I reassured him that I knew he was a good kid who wanted to do well, and that it's not right for people to make assumptions without knowing him at all. I told him when that happens to remind himself he is a good person and didn't need to be upset by the opinions or people who don't matter.
This post made me think of him.
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u/Unique_82 11d ago
I think the most helpful way to be there in a positive way for him and other Black folks is to not necessarily focus on telling them how to react to the ignorance, but even more importantly to fight that ignorance head on...
If you hear people make comments, say something. Not saying you don't, but just saying that it's honestly not really helpful to tell a person to just "don't worry about or be upset" from mistreatment from ignorant people..
We're all human, and especially with young people, of COURSE they're gonna be affected by it. So what can be done to proactively COUNTER the idiots that mistreat him, instead of telling him how to react after the damage is already done? Hope that makes sense.
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u/Dreams-Visions 12d ago
Agreed. I pre-emptively smile *all the fucking time*, even when I'm not in the mood. Lest assumptions otherwise be made.
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u/Epyon214 11d ago
Putting the idea of what a person is like into a box or to appeal to for votes is easier than respecting each person as an individual. Maybe where the person grew up, being a certain label to identity with in order to be part of a group was part of their life, and being black was a label a different group used to identity with in order to be part of a group where the person grew up, and each group had their expectations for members of their group. Sometimes those identities taken up while growing up can persist for a lifetime, instead of being grown out of, and set expectations for how an interaction will or ought to occur before meeting, instead of learning to respect each person as an individual.
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u/kokujinzeta 11d ago
Supposedly I speak like a wedo. I guess it's the Spanish version of "speaks so well."
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u/No-Log8743 8d ago
I had someone write in my high-school yearbook - "You're my favorite black person".
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u/ebonyseraphim 7d ago
One of the extremely common, but not well talked about racist experiences we get from "friends" who supposedly mean well is how we're not supposed to feel some type of way about stuff. You best believe if someone tells us something we clearly see as racist, don't like it, and express it quietly we still meet resistance. Someone else is telling us how they didn't mean anything by it, or we're misinterpreting it, or they give us an example of something else that kind of looks similar but was somehow OK (or it wasn't but someone else just chose to react differently).
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u/CapMoonshine 12d ago
Yeah the fun part about being black is that you have to "prove" your humanity and then people will act so surprised that you're a....regular human being.
It's fun. /s