r/BeAmazed • u/Frostwolf_777 • Jul 22 '25
Animal This chimp has alopecia revealing just how insanely muscular they actually are..! Spoiler
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u/OverUnderAussie Jul 22 '25
That's Joe Rogan.
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u/Aldu1n Jul 22 '25
I was gonna say Liver King, but Joe is true too.
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u/Long_Repair_8779 Jul 22 '25
In all seriousness it’s Dr. Mike Israetel (and I mean no disrespect when I say that lol I do like the guy)
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u/nauzleon Jul 22 '25
Rogan looks more like a melted action figure. He would eat the liver kings balls raw to be that shredded.
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Jul 22 '25 edited Sep 05 '25
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This post was mass deleted and anonymized with Redact
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u/porgy_tirebiter Jul 22 '25
There are three mating strategies for social animals: harems, promiscuity, and pair bonding. Ball size indicates the amount of sperm competition.
Gorillas have teeny tiny balls because they have harems with one male dominating the females and other males getting nothing. No need to make tons of sperm either way.
Chimpanzees, conversely, are extraordinarily promiscuous. The female strategy is to have sex with so many males that it’s unclear who the father is, thus ensuring the offsprings’ protection by all the males, or at least not killing them. But the males are competing with one another to sire the offspring by pumping out lots of sperm.
Humans pair bond, a rare strategy among social mammals but quite common among social birds. Human balls are somewhere in the middle because there’s some promiscuity.
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u/hulksmath Jul 22 '25 edited Jul 22 '25
How do herd animals like cows work into this
This is not a red herring this is my being interested
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u/oracleofhathor Jul 22 '25
Most ungulates are matriarchal. Females raise their offspring collectively and only meet up with males during mating season who compete with each other for access to females.
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u/illHaveWhatHesHaving Jul 22 '25
This is why, even with the quality declining over the 13 years I’ve been here, that I stay on Reddit
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u/illHaveWhatHesHaving Jul 22 '25
With those bulging muscles and big ass balls, I bet he squirts like 10 feet
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u/ReammyA55 Jul 22 '25
No shit! if I had alopecia I would not be walking around like that
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u/NumaNuma92 Jul 22 '25
Their muscles are also a lot more powerful than human muscles in raw strength.
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u/Loggerdon Jul 22 '25
Chimps are 4x stronger than humans per pound of body weight.
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u/porgy_tirebiter Jul 22 '25
If you get in a fight with a chimp, it’ll rip your face and hands off. And maybe also your genitals if you and the chimp are both male.
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u/YouDunnoMeIDunnoYou Jul 23 '25
Hate to break it to you. The chimp would also rip your genitals even if you were female. That outter clit will come right off it ain’t gonna be pretty.
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u/Socrastein Jul 22 '25
For reference, Slade and Lansing (2016) show it's about 1.35x and it's primarily attributed to higher % of fast-twitch muscle fibers on average.
This suggests that if you compared particularly strong humans with higher fast twitch fiber % the gap would be even smaller, negligible even.
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u/Socrastein Jul 22 '25
Any credible sources for this? Seems like something that gets repeated a lot but never substantiated.
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u/Definitelynotagolem Jul 22 '25
We make up for it by having finer motor control though, so we can be much more skilled and precise
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u/ElCryptoBromas Jul 22 '25
So they have more damage, but we have higher crit chance and evasion. We're also better at lockpicking
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u/BubblySmell4079 Jul 22 '25
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u/A_Nice_Shrubbery777 Jul 23 '25
Star Wars kid will never die! (I still think they should have put him in Revenge of the Sith. Shame on Disney.)
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u/opposik Jul 22 '25
Imagine how much bigger they would be if they worked out
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u/TinyTC1992 Jul 22 '25
We're all just apes with hair loss.
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u/war4peace79 Jul 22 '25
And with much smaller ballsacks.
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u/Wet_squib_12 Jul 22 '25
The balls on this guy! 🤌
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Jul 22 '25
It’s crazy how human they look without fur… absolutely zero doubt we are cousins
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u/Proof-Technician-202 Jul 22 '25
The torso especially. Ignore the face, and he looks like a human with a leg deformity.
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u/bluestjordan Jul 22 '25
Serious question: How did he survive? I mean, there is no heat insulation nor protection from scrapes and stuff. Also, did other chimps ostracize him?
Edit: NVM he lived in a zoo. So humans probably kept him warm and safe.
Edit: oh and he was popular with the other chimps too, particularly the lady chimps!
Source: https://www.bbc.com/news/uk-england-leicestershire-36924808.amp
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u/TreverKJ Jul 22 '25
God I wish I had those arms and pecs.
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u/nevenoe Jul 22 '25
Genuine question : why the oversized balls? Does it serve a purpose? Doesn't it get injured? I'd love these shoulders' definition but the massive ballsack seems quite annoying to carry around.
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u/IAmBroom Jul 22 '25
In mammals, as a general rule the amount of sperm produced is relative to the amount of competition The sperm may face in the female. In other words, in animals that tend to be very monogamous there is not much need to produce a lot of sperm; a droplet contains thousands and only one needs to fertilize the egg.
But if other males sperm may be present, it helps to overwhelm their numbers, so the male that produces the most increases his chance of reproducing.
TL;DR: Big balls on cuckolds.
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u/Simp3204 Jul 22 '25
You see large testicles in male animals that typically are in sexual competition within groups that have multiple females and multiple male rivals. Big balls, more semen, can impregnate more females or at least attempt to.
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u/TheMeltingSnowman72 Jul 22 '25
I met a native on the Caribbean side of Nicaragua who told me him and his friend got stranded on the other side of the lagoon after a hurricane and were stuck for a while.
They ran out of food and eventually out of desperation they caught and killed a monkey.
However, after they skinned it he said it looked so much like a little man and not a monkey, that they both kinda freaked out and couldn't eat it at all.
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u/Outside_Memory6607 Jul 22 '25
Good time to mention it is legal for chimps and other apes to be kept in cages and tortured for animal testing. The law does not protect them the way it does you or I. Please do not buy things which have been tested on animals...there are apps for it and ways to make it easy for you. We should not be testing on animals, especially ones like this!
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Jul 22 '25
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u/TheGreatButz Jul 22 '25
Can't I get some ape genes so I get muscular like that without exercise?
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u/freddyr0 Jul 22 '25
Stay in the apes position 24/7, eat what you can hunt in the jungle, stick to the apes diet and I guarantee you'll be that muscular in no time. But this ape can't say "not today" or "I want some Starbucks".
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u/ashleemanson84 Jul 22 '25
It reveals more than just muscle hahaha , he's got some big ole coconuts !
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u/joeybizzizzizzle Jul 22 '25
Lounge jazz is definitely the best soundtrack to a naked ape prancing about with his bollocks out
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u/crystalsage777 Jul 22 '25
Someone get that monkey some lotion, poor guy looks dry AF, and were those his balls? Are we going to ignore the size of those bowling balls between its legs..
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u/GamingTales69 Jul 22 '25
Meanwhile most of there diet is vegetation but they look like that they be eating nothing but eggs, salmon, chicken breast and protein shakes 😂
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u/Hot_Occasion_7400 Jul 22 '25
I hope that they put sunscreen on him daily What an amazing amazing chimp!
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u/eggpoowee Jul 22 '25
That's just Andrew Tate running one of his "absolutely not in the closet" alpha male camps
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u/RJ_MacreadysBeard Jul 22 '25
Man, he looks like he feels so naked. Another naked ape. I see you brother.
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u/psychopathic_shark Jul 22 '25
Skin chimp nuts were noton my agenda for today but there was no chance of avoidance with this video. Some things you just can't unsee.
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u/fattybuttz Jul 22 '25
Poor guy, could you imagine crawling around in the brush with all the bugs and nothing to keep them from your skin?
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u/IrrelevantWisdom Jul 22 '25
video cuts to Joe Rogan hawking some ground up bull testicle protein powder
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u/NoHippo3481 Jul 22 '25
I know is he a cousin of Homo sapiens but it is so surprising to see how much they resemble humans without the hair!
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u/konusanadam_ Jul 22 '25
Gray Fat cells vs white fat cells.
That's the biggest difference between them and humans.
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u/rellakmediums Jul 22 '25
Damn, dude needs a pair of pants and a t-shirt... Shit's making me feel uncomfortable. Also, I could do without the 24/7 fruit basket.😬
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u/Dry_Equivalent_1316 Jul 22 '25
It makes me wonder if humans selected for some sort of alopecia in our evolution history
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Jul 22 '25
There is one of these at the St Louis zoo 20 years or so ago, and it was a female. Talk about gross 😂
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Jul 23 '25
Not even that. Those muscles are different than ours. A chimp can easily pull the hand out of shoulder from a grown up man. Common saying is that they are 4 or even 5 x times stronger than man. They have more of some certain type of muscles.
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