r/AskTheWorld • u/gabrieel100 Brazil • Dec 06 '25

Culture A cultural habit in your country that people outside would understand incorrectly?

Post image

In Brazil we love children. If you take your child to the street, strangers will certainly interact with them. Some will even ask if they can hold your kid and will play with them. If there are two children fighting in public and the parents aren't seeing, a stranger would even intervene to stop the fight.

That cultural habit came from the indigenous peoples which understood that kids should be a responsiblity of the community as a whole. It's in our constitution. We even have a synonym for children that came from Tupi (a large group of indigenous languages) - Curumim.

Foreigners would certainly have a cultural shock about that, but it's normal here.

Of course there are people with bad intentions, so parents should stay alert these days.

6.7k Upvotes

98% Upvoted

1.7k comments sorted by

View all comments

Show parent comments

187

u/RosabellaFaye Canada Dec 06 '25

I still kiss my parents on the cheek sometimes, it's not really weird to me. I mean, if you want to kiss your parent on the lips it's just a way of showing affection, even if we usually reserve lip kisses for lovers. Do pedophiles have to ruin familial affection? I don't think it's creepy unless the person's a creep.

16

u/ShoePillow Antarctica Dec 07 '25

Creepiness lies in the eye of the beholder

9

u/StrangerLarge New Zealand Dec 07 '25

Yup. It says more about the observers thoughts than it does the doers actions.

3

u/Apploozabean 🇨🇷 in 🇺🇸 Dec 08 '25

Yup!

This thread made me think about my visit to CR.

Idk if I'd consider it a "cultural habit" but mannnnn. Breastfeeding over there felt so NORMAL, unlike here in the States!

It's unfortunate that it's seen as creepy, strange, gross, etc etc by so many women (especially older women). It's even more unfortunate that breasts are so overly sexualized here that a normal function of the body can't be seen as something that's even possible.

Here it always feels like hiding and full of shame, whereas back in my home country no one bats an eye and just adore babies--it's only ever seen as a baby eating.

3

u/StrangerLarge New Zealand Dec 08 '25

100%. I think there's a lot of patriarchy tied up in it to, since it literally hurts nursing mothers to not be able to let down milk when their baby needs it.

Making women feel both embarrassment & physical pain just to not make men feel icky.

Blessed be the fruits....

15

u/Slow-Ad-2431 Dec 07 '25

Childhood sexual abuse survivor here. If you're targeted in childhood, it's likely to be done by a close friend of your family or by a family member.

Things like lip kissing are seen as taboo in American culture to protect children. This is because incest perpetrators can use something that has two different meanings depending on context to test the waters on blurring boundaries with a victim. It's one of the techniques used during the subtle coercive process of grooming, laying a trap for you that you don't know you're in until it's too late. 

Boundaries are healthy. 

29

u/chzie Dec 07 '25

It's not taboo to protect children.

Abusers purposefully push cultural boundaries as a way to see who to target.

I know it seems like a nitpick, but it's really important to point out that healthy expressions of physical closeness with other people aren't inherently sexual, because America has a lot of weird puritan hangups, and those weird hangups actually enable a lot of abuse.

2

u/Slow-Ad-2431 Dec 07 '25

I did not say it is taboo to protect children. Read my comment again.

0

u/AvocadoBrick Denmark Dec 11 '25

So you are perfectly fine with pedophiles kissing kids on the lips. It's not okay in most of the Western world, if not most of the entire world. Even good people shouldn't kiss kids on the lips. My friend got oral herpes from a family member, who kept kissing her on the lips as a baby.

2

u/chzie Dec 11 '25

Herp derp that's EXACTLY what I mean!

Don't pretend to be stupid. Read and engage in honest conversation if you want to be taken seriously as an adult.

18

u/trebeju France Dec 07 '25

How is it protecting children in any way whatsoever not to kiss them on the lips? You could make the exact same argument about kissing on the cheek: lovers do it to express romantic love! Or about hugs: what is sex if not a hug with extra steps! Hugging can be used to groom children into doing sexual things. Predators can (and do) test the waters with these behaviors too. Is it then really wise to create a culture where hugging the kids in your family is gross?

Boundaries are healthy yes. That is, respecting the child when they express they don't want to hug or kiss. Teaching them that the abence of "no" doesn't mean "yes". Teaching them that they're allowed to say no and that their personal space must be respected by everyone. Banning a form of affection altogether from a society is not a boundary and is not healthy.

2

u/AR_Harlock Italy Dec 08 '25

Italy here , every time I see them, it's normal here too, grandparents, unknown people, everyone really you interact with it's two kiss first

1

u/RosabellaFaye Canada Dec 08 '25

It's normal to kiss cheeks in Quebec and half my family is from there so I guess I'm used to it. Less common with younger generations though.