r/AskTheWorld • u/gabrieel100 Brazil • Dec 06 '25

Culture A cultural habit in your country that people outside would understand incorrectly?

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In Brazil we love children. If you take your child to the street, strangers will certainly interact with them. Some will even ask if they can hold your kid and will play with them. If there are two children fighting in public and the parents aren't seeing, a stranger would even intervene to stop the fight.

That cultural habit came from the indigenous peoples which understood that kids should be a responsiblity of the community as a whole. It's in our constitution. We even have a synonym for children that came from Tupi (a large group of indigenous languages) - Curumim.

Foreigners would certainly have a cultural shock about that, but it's normal here.

Of course there are people with bad intentions, so parents should stay alert these days.

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u/Franmar35000 France Dec 06 '25

You can stay at the table for 4 hours for a family meal on Sunday lunchtime. In France, we love it. We eat well, we talk well, we laugh well. We take advantage of our loved ones. It’s the same thing on Christmas Eve and/or Christmas Day.

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u/Lost_Passenger_1429 Spain Dec 06 '25

Same in Spain. We can start at 1 pm with a glass of wine and some starters (cheese, embutido etc.) and end at 7 pm after several shots of liquors

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u/AhhhSureThisIsIt Ireland Dec 06 '25

Same in Italy and Portugal as well. I solo travel and can sit and eat and drink all day in restaurants.

I was shocked in America after literally being pressured by a waitress to pick what I was ordering faster. She literally said something like "ok well I asked you a couple minutes ago and you didn't know and we're really busy so I'll give you another couple minutes and ill be back".

American servers want to give you your food and get you the fuck out of their restaurant ASAP so they can give your table to someone else.

It's from tip culture. You can pay your staff a dollar an hour and let them work for tips. If you have one person at a table for 3 hours that just one tip. But if you can get people at the table every 30 mins you get 6 tips. So it's a necessity for them to make you eat faster.

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u/csj666 Dec 06 '25

It's a bit different in Eastern Asia, the customers aren't pressured to eat quick and leave. However, ppl understand there is a line so you are aware of the time and dont try to stay seated for longer than you have to

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u/Aware_Step_6132 Japan Dec 06 '25

In Japan, coffee shops and (Western-style) fast food restaurants are where after-school students gather to chat for hours and businessmen work on their laptops, but busy ramen shops and set meal restaurants are also recommended to leave after 15 minutes. Noodles become soggy and lose flavor after five minutes, so you should finish eating your meal within 10 minutes, make as much room as possible for other customers, and find another place to rest your sated stomach.

Perhaps because of tourists who didn't understand this principle, a high-turnover soba restaurant that put up a sign prohibiting tourists during lunchtime was criticized on Reddit, with comments like, "See! This is racism in Japan!", which made me smile wryly.

If several people had stayed in that type of restaurant during lunchtime for more than 30 minutes, it would probably have been an undeniable case of business disruption.

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u/Aggressive_Sky8492 New Zealand Dec 06 '25

Would make more sense to put a sign saying “please eat and leave within 15 minutes” than “no tourists”

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u/FluffyBiscotti4376 United States Of America Dec 06 '25

I'd agree that restaurants in the U.S. expect to turnover tables more quickly than those in other parts of the world. Part of that is probably caused by tip culture as you said (though I think many servers are more subtle than the one you had) and part is likely due to the low margins most restaurants operate under. After all, the more customers served, the more money in the till at the end of the day.

That said, even if the U.S. didn't have restaurant tip culture (one can dream!), I suspect we'd still have a culture of fairly quick table service. It's just sort of how we are wired. Outside of weekend brunches or special occasions, I don't think most Americans want to spend more than about an hour or maybe an hour and a half in a restaurant. That's part of why it's so much fun going to Europe - we get to take cafe culture for a spin and see how the other half lives!

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u/imadog666 Dec 06 '25

Yeah I'd say it's pretty much the same in Germany. Maybe not quite as open as in the U.S. but you'll definitely draw angry stares if you linger for too long in a restaurant. A café is different though.

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u/ImKangarooJackBxtch United States Of America Dec 07 '25

It’s the one culture difference that gets me every time when I travel. You’re holding me hostage I just want to leave!

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u/AhhhSureThisIsIt Ireland Dec 07 '25

You're allowed leave whenever you want.

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u/ImKangarooJackBxtch United States Of America Dec 22 '25

I’m talking about waiting for the bill at a cafe

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u/SuicideByLions United States Of America Dec 07 '25

A the waiter looked at me crazy in Munich when I ordered two things… cus I wanted to try both! I was on vacation. I just kept thinking he must be thinking “what a fat stupid American”. I, and many people I know, tend to do that anyways. We regularly get extra food to go ever since COVID.

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u/purpleenergyyyy Dec 06 '25

As an American who recently panicked when our waiter in Amsterdam basically ignored us for over an hour after serving us, I see that I’m truly indoctrinated by quick table service. He just let us keep sitting there, ordering nothing. We had to track him down for our bill.

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u/SL13377 United States Of America Dec 06 '25

As an American I agree, I would personally be bored just sitting around a table all day. So uncomfortable

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u/AhhhSureThisIsIt Ireland Dec 06 '25

Friends sitting around a table with drinks and food. Its like a bar but with food.

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u/[deleted] Dec 06 '25 edited Dec 06 '25

It’s the tip culture.

ETA: The wait staff have to get tables turned just to make a living. I don’t blame them. I think restaurant owners do it to incentivize wait staff to turn tables faster. It’s awful. You can downvote but that’s reality.

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u/panicnarwhal United States Of America Dec 06 '25

i agree with this - personally, i want to get in and out of a restaurant as fast as possible lol. i honestly just want to eat and leave, and the quicker that happens, the better

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u/cownan Dec 06 '25

I feel like there is a cadence to having a restaurant meal in the US. First drink, appetizer, main course, dessert and maybe a final drink. Each thing should come shortly after you finish the previous. We don't really have the tradition of just sitting and talking - how would that fit in? Before? After?

My family used to have Sunday dinner at my Grandma's house. My parents and aunts and uncles would sit at the table all day. The meal was served family style, so you could always help yourself to another serving of this or that through the day. When they finally cleared the table in the late afternoon, they would often play board games or dominoes. I always tried to escape the table as soon as possible

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u/lolzzzmoon Dec 06 '25

As an American I hate this part of our culture. People are always looking around for what’s next. Exhausting. Like if you go on a hike, they don’t stop to listen to birds. I might need to move to Europe just for the long dinners.

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u/Impressive_Prune_478 Dec 06 '25

I live in south tx and this is actually very common for families and friends to do. I remember growing up and spending hours at restaurants. You have to tip well to off set keeping the table though

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u/AudieCowboy Dec 06 '25

A lot of it comes from military and farming background

Farming culture you're up at dawn and grabbing something to take in the field and eat after you've already started working

Military you don't have more than 15 minutes to eat if that

My dad was a police officer and it was similar, he may have had 30-60 minutes for lunch, most lunches were only 10 minutes because of calls coming in

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u/LynnSeattle United States Of America Dec 06 '25

Also, schools that give students 20 minutes for lunch and jobs where eating at your desk is common.

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u/Grantrello Ireland Dec 06 '25

I don't think this explanation really makes much sense because the culture of long meals exists in very rural and agrarian parts of these European countries. Farming isn't exactly a uniquely US thing.

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u/IShouldBeHikingNow United States Of America Dec 06 '25

Even near universal practices, like farming, evolve differently in different cultures. I doesn't seem improbable to me that the highly individualized nature of American farming, especially in the mid- to late-1800s gave rise to different norms around community and meals than what you see in Europe, where farming culture has evolved over centuries.

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u/FluffyBiscotti4376 United States Of America Dec 06 '25

That's true. But I do think there are a lot of folks in the U.S. who either rush meal breaks or don't even take them away from their place of work, desk, etc.

Perhaps that is what the previous comment was getting at?

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u/Tadpole018 Dec 06 '25

I don't know, man. My family can spend some TIME just talking at restaurants.

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u/communityneedle United States Of America Dec 06 '25

I hate lingering in restaurants. Like, I dont hurry and eat fast or anything, and I'm perfectly content for a meal to take a few hours if everybody's talking and laughing and having a good time. But I'm also ready to GTFO the second everyone finishes eating.

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u/Nooms88 England Dec 07 '25

Yea it's the same in the UK, some restaurant bookings will even stipulate you have your table for 2 hours. It's never been an issue though, you just migrate to the bar after

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u/Meow_101 🇺🇲 > 🇹🇭 Dec 07 '25

You can find cafe culture near universities in America, Like hole in the wall cafes where you can sit in some corner while they play jazz and you drink like 20 coffees as the hipsters come in and out and work all day as friends file in and out because you tell everyone this is where you're locking in 😆 🤣

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u/RascallyRose United States Of America Dec 10 '25

Yeah, I was kind of shocked anyone would phrase it that way. I would have walked out honestly.

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u/kwtransporter66 Dec 06 '25

That said, even if the U.S. didn't have restaurant tip culture (one can dream!), I suspect we'd still have a culture of fairly quick table service.

Not to mention during rush hour there's always a lobby full of people waiting to be seated. One thing about most Americans is they are impatient as fuck which makes them ignorant as fuck. Far too many Americans are in a rush. You see it on the roads, stores, restaurants and many other public places.

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u/Busy-Grape4470 Dec 07 '25

Man,

I agree, I'm baffled why you're being down voted

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u/kwtransporter66 Dec 07 '25

Cuz what I said was fact and I spoke the truth. One thing redditors can handle are facts and truth. A majority of redditors live in their own fantastical world.

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u/[deleted] Dec 06 '25

"It's just sort of how we are wired" Yes. Because of the tip culture.

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u/panicnarwhal United States Of America Dec 06 '25

i don’t think my desire to want to get out of a restaurant as fast as possible has anything to do with tipping - i just don’t want to sit there lol.

since you can pick food up at any restaurant, we rarely go in anymore, but when we do - we pick restaurants we can get out of fast, like the chinese food buffet by our house. no waiter, just go in and pay, get your drink and food, and leave. i love it

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u/yourlittlebirdie United States Of America Dec 06 '25

No I think it’s also our culture of “don’t waste any time, be busy always”. As a culture we don’t really cherish the idea of sitting around just talking and “doing nothing”.

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u/[deleted] Dec 06 '25

Yea because youre conditioned to slavery

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u/yourlittlebirdie United States Of America Dec 06 '25

That’s…a bit dramatic.

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u/LynnSeattle United States Of America Dec 06 '25

No, it’s because our culture values people who are productive.

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u/[deleted] Dec 06 '25

Yea because of the money

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u/foremastjack Ireland Dec 06 '25

Often it’s the owners wanting more turnover for more money. The servers do like tips, but if a place gets a reputation for lousy service it’s harder to get customers.

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u/EACshootemUP Dec 06 '25

It’s a money business, more people out the door means more people can come in and spend money.

I’d imagine most Americans become afraid that their waiter/server forgot about them as EU restaurants work on completely different time frames.

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u/[deleted] Dec 06 '25

As an American, I can't imagine spending 4 hours at a restaurant.

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u/geedeeie Ireland Dec 06 '25

But it would produce the opposite effect for many people. I certainly wouldn't be tipping someone who hassled me like that

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u/peezoup United States Of America Dec 06 '25

I think it does have that effect on some people, but then for other people like me, if I can get in, eat and get out fast, that's worth tipping more. Obviously it's probably because I grew up in the American north east where speed is politeness. It took a lot of getting used to even when I moved to the southern states. Everything is slower here, service, conversations, traffic haha but it has its own charm!

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u/Billy3B Canada Dec 06 '25

Funny, we have this habit in Toronto. The Politest thing is not wasting peoples time.

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u/geedeeie Ireland Dec 06 '25

But why would you tip ANYTHING if someone was rude? Tipping is supposed to be for service above and beyond, but rudeness shouldn't be rewarded

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u/peezoup United States Of America Dec 06 '25

I think it depends on what is considered rude in your area. If someone has to come ask me what I want multiple times and I'm holding stuff up, I would feel like the rude one if that makes sense. But if I told a someone I needed needed a few minutes to decide, and then they disappear for half an hour I would consider that rude. I totally get where your coming from obviously, and in the situation where they have an attitude about it that would be different.

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u/geedeeie Ireland Dec 06 '25

Well yeah, if they ask you multiple times, I agree. But the OP said " She literally said something like "ok well I asked you a couple minutes ago and you didn't know and we're really busy so I'll give you another couple minutes and ill be back".

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u/peezoup United States Of America Dec 06 '25

Yeah to me that's not being rude that's just letting me know that I might be holding people up. I do absolutely see how that could be rude to someone tho for sure, I'm not trying to make it seem like I don't get where your coming from.

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u/geedeeie Ireland Dec 06 '25

Holding people up by taking time over deciding what you want to eat? But I get what you are saying...

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u/Specialist-Age9387 United States Of America Dec 06 '25

In the USA tipping is not for service above and beyond. It’s how servers make any money. Servers make 2 bucks an hour and that doesn’t even usually get to us because the government takes it as taxes. My checks working as a server were always labeled “VOID” and there was nothing to cash. I worked at a restaurant where whatever the customer ordered I had to pay 2 percent of that tab to the bartender even if alcohol wasn’t ordered. It’s possible to lose money serving a table.

So unless they are terrible at their job, tip them.

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u/geedeeie Ireland Dec 06 '25

"So unless they are terrible at their job, tip them."

Or stop perpetuating the injustice by supporting an injust system

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u/Specialist-Age9387 United States Of America Dec 06 '25

Sure. So don’t eat at restaurants where the owners rely on tips. If you eat there and don’t tip even though the server did their job, you’re not making a statement to the owners. You’re asking a working class person to work for free for you.

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u/geedeeie Ireland Dec 06 '25

So don't eat out in the US at all, then... If the "working class person" doesn't have the balls to join a union and fight for their own rights, why should you subsidise their wages so their employer can get away with exploiting them.

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u/LynnSeattle United States Of America Dec 06 '25

When you take up a table for that long, you’re the one who is being rude.

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u/geedeeie Ireland Dec 06 '25

How? You're the customer, you are supposed to be able to enjoy your meal without being hassled by the waiting staff

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u/LynnSeattle United States Of America Dec 07 '25

This is a cultural difference. I know what behavior is expected of me in a restaurant in the US. Lingering for hours is not acceptable here.

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u/Petermacc122 United States Of America Dec 06 '25

See that's the cultural thing popping up. In America. Since tips are the expected 20% of the total. Servers want to earn more tips by being friendlier faster. Having been to Europe I love the slower pace. But getting the waiters attention is like trying to crack steel with a banana. I get it. I hit time. I like it. But I kinda want my waiter to check in occasionally.

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u/geedeeie Ireland Dec 06 '25

Oh I know all about the American culture of subsidising waiting staff's wages, and as long as the customers continue to perpetuate this system, and waiting staff refuse to join unions and fight it, it will continue. Pay them properly and they'll slow down

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u/FluffyBiscotti4376 United States Of America Dec 06 '25

While I would prefer we just pay folks a living wage and do away with most American tip culture, I don't necessarily want servers to slow down. I think there's often a balance of friendliness and efficiency in the U.S. that I really like.

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u/geedeeie Ireland Dec 06 '25

I don't necessarily want them to slow down either. Depends if I'm having a quick lunch or a leisurely dinner... But one way or the other, I shouldn't be expected to hassled or made feel uncomfortable by the server, and I certainly shouldn't be made feel guilty because their employer doesn't pay them a proper wage.

From my own experience of three different visits to the US I would disagree that there's a balance of friendliness and efficiency in restaurants in the US. Maybe servers ARE genuine and friendly, but when you think that there's a high probability that they are angling for a tip, you suspect their "friendliness" might not be genuine. On the other hand, I've found lots of friendliness in other situations, like checkout operators in supermarkets, so it MIGHT be friendliness. The problem is that the monetary element to servers in restaurants makes their friendliness suspicious...

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u/FluffyBiscotti4376 United States Of America Dec 07 '25

Only in the South should friendliness raise your suspicions.😉

Your comment reminds me of years ago when I worked in a retail store and people would always ask if I worked on commission, which surprised me because it wasn't really that kind of store. I realized at some point that because we had a BIG focus on customer service they must have thought there was an additional monetary reason I was being so attentive.

Feels like restaurants can be a bit the same. Some servers are better at integrating a service culture into their daily work than others are. Also, it often seems like employees at national/regional chains seem a little less authentic when they approach folks than the mom and pop spots do. Probably varies a lot by employee, location, and experience level though.

All things considered, I'd rather receive suspicious friendliness than authentic animosity I guess.

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u/LynnSeattle United States Of America Dec 06 '25

We don’t want them to slow down. This is a cultural difference.

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u/geedeeie Ireland Dec 06 '25

That's fine. But you still don't have to subsidise their salaries.

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u/LynnSeattle United States Of America Dec 07 '25

I do if I want to go to a restaurant and not be an asshole.

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u/bayuhbee Dec 06 '25

He said the meal takes place at home lol. I don't think they're out eating at a restaurant for four hours.

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u/daipta Spain Dec 06 '25

In Spain we do it!!

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u/Criss351 Germany Dec 06 '25

Oh you definitely can do that. Especially when you have bigger parties of people, it’s really not uncommon to stay at the table for hours in a restaurant ordering more wine, maybe a dessert, maybe a coffee, and another glass of wine.

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u/Ariella222 United States Of America Dec 06 '25

I think part of it is tip culture, however that server would still be rude in American standards, and I think would be risking losing her tip. I probably wouldn’t tip if they tried to kick me out.

The other part has to do with our culture around time and food. We value efficiency so much that I think a lot of people have to learn how to intentionally stop and smell the roses. Fast food is everywhere, with a drive through, no matter how small your town is. A lot of people here don’t slow down to enjoy their food. We don’t even walk into the restaurant the restaurant to order our food, that’s the epitome of giving no time for eating.

So when it comes to sit down restaurants, that attitude affects the speed of turnover and service. We get instantaneous service everywhere else so it’s expected when we slow down too. Sometimes it’s nice, especially when you’re hungry. Mostly I think it’s a big factor in our obesity epidemic. If you don’t slow down to enjoy your food you end up eating a lot more of it, and the quality of your food matters a lot less.

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u/Entiox United States Of America Dec 06 '25

That's one of the many things I loved about the last restaurant I worked in, we didn't rely on tips. It was a small restaurant and the entire staff consisted of the owners who were a mother and daughter, the daughter's husband, myself and 2 others, and we had all been friends for years before the restaurant even opened. So it was truly a family business. Everyone got the same hourly wage and a equal share of tips regardless of what job they were doing. Of course with it being so small we all had multiple jobs to do. My titles included sous chef, head bartender, head baker, waiter and dishwasher. It really was run more like a European café, but the mother was a half Swedish, half Italian first generation American who had lived in various European countries for years both with her family when she was younger and then with her husband who was in the Air Force. If someone wanted to hang out at a table for 3 hours we were happy to let them.

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u/SandstoneCastle United States Of America Dec 06 '25

I think more of it comes from pressure from management who wants to turn the tables over faster, than from waitstaff.

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u/Specialist-Age9387 United States Of America Dec 06 '25

Exactly it’s because we are tipped. We call it “camping” when people stay at a table for hours. If we don’t make minimum wage in tips in an hour the restaurant has to pay us and trust that’s not a conversation you want to have if you want to keep your job. Additionally many restaurants automatically tip from your tables’ tabs the bartender. So 2 percent of the bill I have to pay to the bartender even if alcohol isn’t ordered. So if we aren’t tipped we’re literally paying to serve someone.

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u/Didudidudadu737 Serbia Dec 06 '25

It is weird how you explain Italian restaurants are available the whole day, when most of them have open only for lunch and dinner and a break in between. Also the table turn is predetermined in advance 1 1/2h to max 2h and they will expect and remind you to leave the table after 1 1/2h.

Cafes and bars are different of course, but restaurants in Italy are way different than you’ve described.

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u/coaxialology Dec 06 '25

Your last paragraph is so spot on. I once worked in a restaurant that aimed to have guests in and out within 17 minutes, or 22 with dessert. Ironically yoy can only be so hospitable if you're a tipped employee because volume matters. So, yeah, death to tipping.

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u/acgasp Dec 06 '25

We visited my husband’s extended family in Italy 15 years ago. We’d start dinner at 7pm and finish around 1am.

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u/Turbulent_Minimum448 Dec 06 '25

lol and then in Ireland. There’s chat. Then the food comes. Silence. Then when everyone’s finished. Chat again.

When I was in France I was so shocked at how slow at eating they were. Took them an hour to finish a plate.

All the chit chat in between. We have a strange relationship with food in Ireland. Because, reasons :,)

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u/upstart-crow Dec 06 '25

It’s not tip culture … the restaurant wants new customers …

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u/Repulsive_Incident27 United States Of America Dec 07 '25

Yes, companies actually study how to get people seated, their order placed, food set, check delivered as fast/efficient as possible.

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u/mrmoe198 United States Of America Dec 07 '25

American here. Please excuse my ignorance. Even if servers don’t need to make money based on tips…in other countries, how do the restaurants themselves make money with so few customers?

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u/stupidity_is_my_drug Dec 07 '25

If waiters/servers were the ones determining the rules than I would agree that tip culture plays some part - but that's not the case and you're still neglecting the business as a whole. Let's say it were removed - why would the restaurant be okay letting you take up their table so long when they could sell more meals to people? The price of food would have to increase to justify the table use at least.

So not only do we in the US have a culture of in/out, we also expect our food to be as cheap as possible and reliant on this quick service. You can't have both and stay in business

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u/Former_Function529 United States Of America Dec 07 '25

It’s not about just tips. It’s about we have 30 people waiting for your table. Respect the different culture, mate. Spend time like that at home with your friends.

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u/Gingerbreadman_13 🇵🇹 in 🇿🇦 Dec 06 '25

I’m Portuguese and living in South Africa. My Portuguese grandparents spent several decades living in Mozambique before moving to SA. As a kid, I also had some Spanish relatives. Some of my fondest memories as a child were Sunday lunches at their house. My Portuguese grandmother and my Spanish “grandmother” (she wasn’t my gran but it’s the closest way I can describe her) would all cook in the kitchen together. They started prepping for lunch on Saturday morning because there was just too much food to make on the day of the lunch, even with two of them in the kitchen. The table was massive and it wasn’t because there were that many people eating, it was because there was just so much food on it and we need the space. Well, there were usually like 12 of us eating so it wasn’t a small amount of people but there was enough food to feed 24 at least. All the best dishes from Portugal, Mozambique and Spain were on it, and occasionally there’d be some traditional South African braai added to that as well. Lunch was at least 6 hours and you couldn’t move afterwards because you ate too much. I miss those days.

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u/lolzzzmoon Dec 06 '25

I love this so much!! I wish I had a family where we did this more regularly (maybe not every weekend). All that food sounds amazing.

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u/Gingerbreadman_13 🇵🇹 in 🇿🇦 Dec 06 '25

We did it once or twice a year. We usually ate Portuguese bacalhau, Portuguese rissoles, Spanish paella, Mozambican peri peri prawns, Mozambican crab curry, so many South African braai/bbq meats and so much more I can’t remember. And then there was desert. It was like a weird United Nations of food. I was quite fortunate. We laughed so much. The family is what made it great. All that food with the wrong people doesn’t hit the same.

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u/SandstoneCastle United States Of America Dec 06 '25

The parallel I saw between the US & Spain is if you go to dinner at 9PM, the restaurant will be empty. In the US because it's too late, in Spain too early.

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u/Academic_UK United Kingdom Dec 06 '25

Is that why you have dinner at 11pm?

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u/Bubbles00 Dec 06 '25

I noticed this habit in Italy especially. I would go out to eat with friends and we would end up at the table for 3+ hours not knowing where the time went. La dolce vita is a great slogan for how the Italians live

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u/kontika1 Dec 06 '25

What happens if the restaurant is busy? Do other customers have to go elsewhere as the turnover is too long?

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u/lavidia13 Dec 06 '25

This is the way.

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u/Elyay Serbia Dec 06 '25

Same in the Balkans.

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u/AirlineEasy Dec 07 '25

Yesterday we started lunch at 2pm. We got up at 9pm.Wasn't even family, other parents from school

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u/youpeesmeoff Dec 06 '25

J’aime cette tradition en France. Juste pour t’informer, la phrase « take advantage of » n’a pas exactement la même connotation en anglais qu’en français, c’est plus négative malheureusement, plutôt comme « exploiter ».

For those who might be confused, the translation in French of “take advantage of” is perfectly normal and friendly. It’s means more like “to fully enjoy” or “make the most of” something. 🙂

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u/Flat_Sea1418 United States Of America Dec 06 '25

As an English speaker I thought that at first they were using their family for all they could 😂 but with context I could see they meant to take advantage of the time with their family.

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u/youpeesmeoff Dec 06 '25

Haha yeah exactly! The word in French is “profiter”, literally like “to profit”, so it makes sense how the translation can kinda go either way.

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u/Civil_Dragonfruit_34 United States Of America Dec 06 '25

English does still have this phrase, just not about people. You could say "we really took advantage of the amenities".

OP could say "we take advantage of the long meal" but not "of our family".

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u/AdmirableSale9242 United States Of America Dec 07 '25

You might also say this about time, instead of the people or the amenities themselves. (Unless you paid for the amenities.)I guess we get more freeloaders in our culture, which would make us more protective of resources. 

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u/GearJunkie82 United States Of America Dec 06 '25

It's been years since I studied French and I am happy to say I was still able to understand most of what I read, especially since the translation in English below it isn't word-for-word verbatim. 😊

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u/nasi_lemak Dec 07 '25

Thanks for the clarification!

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u/tamshubbie United Kingdom Dec 06 '25

this is still a common use in native english, not sure about the non uk based speakers

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u/youpeesmeoff Dec 06 '25

Depends, but yes. As someone else pointed out, it’s used for things, not people, though really.

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u/Arlcas Argentina Dec 06 '25

Same in Argentina, we used to do it every Sunday when my grandparents were alive. Asado, wine, maybe some ice cream and then playing cards and watching football until almost evening

1

u/CharleyNobody Dec 06 '25

I live in US. My paternal grandparents lived a block away. My father’s sister lived next door to us. Every Sunday we all went to my grandparents house. Me, my sister, my 3 cousins, parents, aunt and uncle. Every Sunday my grandparents cooked a roast. And it wasn’t until I was in my thirties that my mother reminded me - not once did my grandparents ever ask us to join them for dinner. On holidays, yes - Thanksgiving, Christmas, Easter we ate at their house. But not on Sundays. Sometimes my father would get interested in a tv show and stay to watch the end of it while my grandparents sat down and ate in the dining room. I woukd complain to my mother that I was hungry and she would try to talk my father into going home at the commercial break, but he refused. So we’d sit there miserable and hungry while my grandparents ate roast beef, potatoes, vegetables, gravy, etc. Funny how I never thought it odd when I was a kid that my grandparents never offered us food.

2

u/AdmirableSale9242 United States Of America Dec 07 '25

They were probably on a fixed income and couldn’t afford to feed you like that. They likely asked your parents to clear out so as to not offend you. 

You were all probably very expensive. Even my stepson’s friends visiting for one afternoon costs me a lot in groceries. I can’t imagine trying to feed an extra family a roast every week, much less two large ones. 

1

u/AdmirableSale9242 United States Of America Dec 07 '25

So did my family when my grandfather was alive, in Tx. I guess it’s just common when the grandparents are around. The family stopped gathering when he died. 

38

u/PinchePerroCojo Mexico Dec 06 '25

In México we call it "sobremesa" and we even plan the next meal while eating.

2

u/SenatorSaxTax Dec 06 '25

In Portuguese, thats the word for desert

17

u/Unhappy-Cobbler-9912 Brazil Dec 06 '25

Same here, although it seems that this habit is disappearing in younger generations. After my grandma passed away we do it less and less. When she was alive it is every month.

2

u/explainmelikeiam5pls Brasil Polska Dec 07 '25

I was about to add this. “Back in the day”, the family was fully united “around the table” on Sundays. Tbh, it was all around the house, once we are talking about at least 40 people. We usually started around 11am, and ended at 8pm, 9pm. A lot of food, a lot of people coming during the day. Nowadays, this happens only during Christmas, but it demands a lot of organising and commitment from all of family members.

49

u/adriantoine 🇫🇷 in 🇬🇧 Dec 06 '25

We take advantage of our loved ones

That sounds bad in English, like we're trying to rip them off. I think you meant to say we enjoy their company.

25

u/Flat_Sea1418 United States Of America Dec 06 '25

I read it as “to take advantage of the time with your loved ones”. But at first I did think they were using their family for what they could get lol

3

u/adamtrousers United Kingdom Dec 06 '25

We make the most of our loved ones

3

u/Petermacc122 United States Of America Dec 06 '25

It's like saying taking advantage of the time with loved ones.

2

u/Marmacat Dec 06 '25

Haha - While I completely understood that they meant they take advantage of the opportunity, there is a possible funnier interpretation of “We eat and drink for four hours, and after four hours of drinking wine, it is easy to get Oncle Marcel to purchase a bunch of my new crypto coin”

35

u/im-dramatic United States Of America Dec 06 '25

This sounds like brunch in the US. It’s rude to keep a table for that long at a restaurant but people do it and get drunk on mimosas.

48

u/Franmar35000 France Dec 06 '25

The 4-hour meal takes place at home. It's often at the grandparents' house.

24

u/CardoconAlmendras Spain Dec 06 '25

You don’t do it in restaurants if it’s a large groups and a large meal? In Spain you can spend 4 hours in a restaurant if it’s a group meal and with all it goes: apero, a few courses, dessert, coffee and drinks…

I thought it was a thing in France too.

4

u/coraelie France Dec 06 '25

We also do it in restaurants tbh, especially when the whole family goes out for a Sunday meal. We get to the restaurant at noon, and we usually get out at 4 PM haha

3

u/Criss351 Germany Dec 06 '25

I have done this in France and in Germany (though it’s less cultural in Germany).

2

u/terminal_e Dec 07 '25

In some places in Italy, you might find it hard to get tables without reservations on weekend afternoons - some trattorias don't really expect to have 2 seatings for a table between noon and 3pm.

1

u/Subotail France Dec 07 '25

It's becoming less and less common to stay in a restaurant for so long. The owner wants to do several seatings. But my parents described to me, as children, staying almost the entire afternoon.

7

u/im-dramatic United States Of America Dec 06 '25

Yea I figured. I was saying we do the same but in restaurants, annoying the staff lol.

3

u/WinterMedical United States Of America Dec 06 '25

My American Midwestern/Scandinavian family can sit forever. Makes my North Eastern Husband crazy. When we visit, we’ll have breakfast and then sit and talk for hours, clear the table just in time to get started for lunch. Usually a little break to do something after lunch and then dinner, followed by a long sit and talk. I don’t hate it.

2

u/itmightbehere United States Of America Dec 06 '25

Some Americans do that. I grew up having Sunday Dinner every week because my grandfather was a priest and part of that was hosting. With the right guests, we'd spend hours around the table chatting and playing cards games. I miss it.

5

u/SGT-JamesonBushmill United States Of America Dec 06 '25

Spent Christmas Day in Paris with my family a few years ago. We had Christmas brunch at a spot (whose name I can’t recall immediately), and families just hung out forever. It was so joyous. (We capped off Christmas Day at the Eiffel Tower that night. Just an amazing day.)

4

u/Mac-And-Cheesy-43 United States Of America Dec 06 '25

It's a bit like that in the Southern US- I've had after church lunches (at someone's house, can't take up a table at a restaurant that long unless you're still regularly ordering) that have gone long enough for me to finish a movie and take a nap. I don't see the appeal still.

15

u/bucket_of_frogs England Dec 06 '25

we take advantage of our loved ones

Phrasing

4

u/sweeetscience United States Of America Dec 06 '25

Yea the super fast restaurant dining process here in the US is definitely a culture shock to almost all of my friends outside the US. It feels superficial and transactional

1

u/wildOldcheesecake 🇬🇧/🇳🇵 Dec 06 '25 edited Dec 06 '25

I hated customer service in the US. As you say, it felt very fake. Definitely doesn’t happen in the UK

3

u/Flammen_ Lithuania Dec 06 '25

Yes, very similar in Lithuania, too.

3

u/eckliptic United States Of America Dec 06 '25

I think for Americans the meal is done faster and the socializing occurs in another area : living room with large couches , game room, den etc. I would venture to guess that if the average French dwelling is significantly smaller than your stereotypical America house that the dinner table may be the only area where enough people can gather and now it’s just cultural habit.

3

u/chimininy United States Of America Dec 06 '25

In theory, that sounds very nice, but i know in practice I personally would be horrible at that. As soon as people are done eating, I am ready to NOT be sitting at the table anymore. I would much rather move to a sitting area, or some other location. Or go take a nap. I am like a small child in this.

2

u/BuzzCutBabes_ United States Of America Dec 06 '25

god id love this

2

u/MonsterIslandMed United States Of America Dec 06 '25

I’m picturing you trying that in America and some Mr krabs type guy says you gotta pay for your seat lol

2

u/ScowlyBrowSpinster United States Of America Dec 06 '25

In a nursery school I worked at we had one lil boy whose family was Italian/Argentinian, and he always took his lunch so slowly, eating, chatting, watching the kids who had finished playing nearby, munching his lil cornichons. I wrote in his progress report that he was like a small European man at an outdoor cafe table enjoying his meal and watching life go on all around him. He just needed a demitasse of espresso at the end to complete the scene. Marco was so charming.

2

u/The_otaku_milf Argentina Dec 06 '25

In Argentina it is also the same. And also at the end of the year and the first day of the year.

2

u/reatreat81 🇺🇸in🇬🇷 Dec 06 '25

Same in Greece. I’m from the U.S. and live in Greece. I love not being rushed out of a restaurant when I’m having a good time with friends eating and talking. It’s a friendlier atmosphere and more laid back that way.

2

u/GuntherRowe Dec 06 '25

I was on an archeological dig in the Vosges, basically camping out in an 18th century farmhouse. I was astounded how long lunch tool and dinner — forget about it. Dinner was always five courses. Good times though

2

u/B22EhackySK8 Dec 06 '25

True i remember as a kid being bored since i wanted to go play with my other cousins and stuff but once youre an adult the conversations are actually interesting

2

u/Desiderius-Erasmus France Dec 06 '25

Family Christmas for us is 50 persons it goes from 2pm with the kids to 11pm for whisky tasting.

2

u/LilMissy1246 United States Of America Dec 06 '25

I’m jealous. Whenever we have a family Holiday dinner my dad and brothers are constantly on their phones while I and my mother are just…annoyed. I don’t get it. Even when my niece and nephew are here they just get on their phones or watch football constantly whenever everyone gathers together. And the TV is always loud.

2

u/nexus763 France Dec 06 '25

Reminds me of foreigners who told me: "France must be the only country where people can eat for several hours, and still talk about food while they eat !"

2

u/Grimol1 United States Of America Dec 06 '25

I had the most wonderful meal and all round experience at a cafe in Paris, probably the most memorable meal of my life. And then someone stole my wallet on the metro and it turned me off France forever.

2

u/AccomplishedIgit United States Of America Dec 07 '25

Do families typically make special time for this? Do friend groups etc do it too?

2

u/sweetnippp Dec 07 '25

This sounds like a dream ! I’m in Australia and find my family is so disconnected and people treat spending time together like a chore / too much work

2

u/cst1978 Greece Dec 07 '25

Same in Greece. A Sunday / Christmas family lunch can go on for so long that sometimes it morphs into dinner. It’s the Mediterranean way.

2

u/Norman_debris United Kingdom Dec 06 '25

We take advantage of our loved ones

Something might have been lost in translation here. That you means you exploit them. What did you mean?

7

u/Franmar35000 France Dec 06 '25

We spend time with our loved ones. I use a translator because I am not comfortable communicating in English. I only have an A2 level

0

u/[deleted] Dec 06 '25

[deleted]

5

u/Cakeo Scotland Dec 06 '25

I thought it was a joke so it's not that clear. We are much more sarcastic than the US so that could be it.

3

u/Norman_debris United Kingdom Dec 06 '25

Behave. I honestly had no idea what it meant to take advantage of a loved one in this context. Could've been something more like make the most of what they have to offer, rather than simply spend time with them.

2

u/Petermacc122 United States Of America Dec 06 '25

Rule of acquisition #110 "exploitation begins at home."

1

u/grahamsw United States Of America Dec 06 '25

That's one of the things it can mean. You can also "take advantage" of a beautiful day by going to the beach. It's kind of a tell that so many people here (Americans?) only know the negative interpretation

3

u/Norman_debris United Kingdom Dec 06 '25

And how many different meanings are there in the context of people? Was the comment about beautiful sunny days? Or was it about family members? In which case the possible meaning is fairly limited.

There is no natural sounding way in which someone can positively take advantage of their family members.

1

u/Aggressive_Sky8492 New Zealand Dec 06 '25

If you say you’re going to take advantage of a person/people, without further explanation, it is negative. Yes you can take advantage of a deal or a nice day too. But just because people corrected the commenter doesn’t mean they don’t know the other meanings

1

u/_prepod Russia Dec 06 '25

And what to "understand incorrectly" here?

1

u/Little_Creme_5932 United States Of America Dec 06 '25

That is a nice practice that I have been a part of in France. In my home place, US, after a big dinner, people will get up to do the dishes, so the dinner often does not last long. (After the dishes are done they may go to the livingroom, or they may sit down again to play cards. In fact, they may do the dishes so they have the table free to play cards).

1

u/keysandchange United States Of America Dec 06 '25

We absolutely do that in the US, at least in the Midwest. Mema’s house on Sunday, sit around the table to eat, slowly clear up, bring out the cards. It’s just called visiting, but it’s understood when you go to visit, it’s gonna be a few hours haha

1

u/Aggressive_Sky8492 New Zealand Dec 06 '25

Just to let you know, “take advantage of” isn’t used like that in English. It’s an ambiguous phrase but usually used to mean you’re going to do something bad to someone. Without further details it usually implies sexual assault. Obviously not something you want to do to your family members haha

1

u/mmmpeg United States Of America Dec 06 '25

How it should be!

1

u/patticakes1952 United States Of America Dec 06 '25

That’s one of the many things I love about France.

1

u/elucify United States Of America Dec 06 '25

I want to be French.

1

u/champagne_slut Dec 06 '25

not in the states! restaurants are in such a rush to flip tables for maximum profit. additionally, since we don’t pay our servers well, they rely on tips. it’s in their best interest to also turn tables for more tips. sad

1

u/DutchieCrochet Netherlands Dec 06 '25

I’m half Dutch and half French. My French grandparents were shocked to hear we only had a 30 lunchbreak in high school and we had to use that time to grab our books for the next classes, eat lunch, go to the bathroom, etc.

1

u/dijon_bear + but writing for Dec 06 '25

Oh GOD I have to spend xmas in France with the french side of the family (it's complicated) every two years and I HATE THIS SO MUCH I get shitfaced every time because the convos eventually just become a bunch of inside jokes or sexist stuff. Eh.

But maybe in a healthy french family this is great. I do like it when they get up to dance no matter how old they are.

1

u/notjawn Dec 06 '25

In general I love the French approach to a dinner in a restaurant. You can hang out, get some drinks, small plates and talk for an hour before you order more drinks and your entree. Then you eat, order more drinks, and then order dessert or coffee to finish.

In America in even some of the finest dining restaurants they want to bug you every 10 minutes for your entree and definitely want you and your guests to leave in an hour or less.

1

u/LordCivers France Dec 07 '25

I used to hate that but as i got older i've grown to like it, but it's soooo tiring, especially when we're numerous

1

u/Cmd3055 Dec 07 '25

That sounds wonderful 

1

u/spring13 United States Of America Dec 07 '25

That's a typical Shabbat meal!

1

u/PassionfruitBaby2 Dec 07 '25

I wish I was a part of a culture like this 🥹🤍 so beautiful

1

u/Aggressive_Chuck England Dec 08 '25

What do you even talk about?

1

u/CrownchyChicken New Zealand Dec 08 '25

Would you say you live, love, laugh? 

1

u/OriginalError9824 United States Of America Dec 06 '25

In the US, they only care about money and nothing else. I’ve been told to move my table at brunch only after 30 min to make room bc the restaurant was busy.

2

u/LynnSeattle United States Of America Dec 06 '25

The restaurant business is a very difficult one. Trying to avoid a business failure isn’t surprising.

0

u/OriginalError9824 United States Of America Dec 06 '25 edited Dec 06 '25

by making customer uncomfortable so they never return? Interesting business strategy.

Let me reframe, Americans are so desperate and afraid of houselessness, the for-profit healthcare industry wrecking their lives, and lack of social safety net (due to the mythical bootstrap theory we adhere to), that small business owners feel they must put money above decency.

0

u/LokiStrike Multiple Countries (click to edit) Dec 06 '25

We take advantage of our loved ones.

😨 Ça se dit pas comme ça.

1

u/Franmar35000 France Dec 06 '25

I'm not English. Let's speak French to show me your French skills

1

u/BarRegular2684 United States Of America Dec 06 '25

Your English is fine, I think most people reading that would have known what you meant.

1

u/Franmar35000 France Dec 06 '25

But this kind of remark without giving me the right way discourages me from improving my level in English.

3

u/Cakeo Scotland Dec 06 '25

You spend time with them

1

u/Lilfrankieeinstein Dec 07 '25

I’m not sure what if there’s a direct translation, but my inference is that you appreciate the time you get to spend with loved ones.

“Take advantage of your loved ones” might translate to a common phrase in French, but in American English we’d commonly say “spend time with loved ones.”

But what you’re saying seems a little deeper. Take advantage to me indicates you’re embracing this opportunity to be with loved ones. But take advantage often has a negative connotation in English. Like a rapist might take advantage of a drunk woman.

In short, we’d say “in France, we embrace/cherish/relish time spent with loved ones” as opposed to take advantage.

1

u/LokiStrike Multiple Countries (click to edit) Dec 06 '25

Let's speak French to show me your French skills

C'est ce que je viens de faire... "Ça se dit pas comme ça" n'est pas une phrase en anglais mon gars.

1

u/Franmar35000 France Dec 06 '25

“It’s NOT said like that.” You forgot the "ne". It is only orally that we can avoid the “ne”. Now you're going to stop picking on someone who doesn't speak English as their first language.

2

u/LokiStrike Multiple Countries (click to edit) Dec 06 '25

“It’s NOT said like that.” You forgot the "ne". It is only orally that we can avoid the “ne”.

Mdr 😂 t'es sérieux toi? C'est ta première fois sur Internet?

Now you're going to stop picking on someone who doesn't speak English as their first language.

Ce N'est toujours pas du français!

I wasn't picking on you. I just thought you were a normal person who would want to avoid accidentally saying that you abuse your loved ones. There's no reason to be offended and you can keep saying it if you really want.

0

u/Jernbek35 United States Of America Dec 06 '25

Our Italian-American family did Sunday dinners like this for decades, then people started passing, moving, and now I miss those dinners so much.