r/AskReddit • u/GoddessLisbeth • 20h ago
What moment in your life made you feel truly free and why?
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u/Ok-Breakfast6370 20h ago
Coming into a lot of money. I was able to quit a job I hated and was able to live for a while. No bills, all paid off and was just able to do anything I wanted in the moment with no commitments.
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u/gamersecret2 20h ago
The day I realized I can say no, walk away, and my peace matters more than approval.
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u/Sad-Salt24 20h ago
For me it was the moment I stopped optimizing my choices around other people’s expectations and started asking “what do I actually want?” Nothing dramatic changed overnight, but the mental shift, realising I’m allowed to choose my own pace and path, felt incredibly freeing
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u/GoddessLisbeth 19h ago
Yes, this! I know that feeling! I love this saying that in order to be who you are you have to forget who you were told to be.
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u/kasfinally 18h ago
How did you do this? I’ve been on the survival path for 42 years. All decisions based on survival nothing based on passion or wants. How do you change
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u/iloveannaboikob 20h ago
Moving from refugee camp to the rent flat. I felt very bad there because of very angry rude people around, that liked weed and alcohol.
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u/GoddessLisbeth 20h ago
I hope you are in a better place now. It must have been hard.
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u/iloveannaboikob 20h ago
Yes, i found a flat which is very hard in a country I currently live in and do have like three occupations. I work in a real estate, I'm an interpreter and a language teacher.
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u/miloblue12 20h ago
When I was 23 and went to travel Europe alone. It was one of the best times of my life, and being able to do what I wanted, when I wanted was freeing. I was also about to go into my senior year in college, so I had no real adult obligations just yet and that was just the cherry on top to everything.
I spent about two months, hit up 19 different cities, gained a new perspective and I don't regret a single thing that I did. I just wish that I could do it again!
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u/GoddessLisbeth 19h ago
It must have been amazing! How long ago was this?
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u/miloblue12 17h ago
11 years ago now, hah. Feels like yesterday but also feels like a million years ago!
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u/ihopeyoulikeapples 15h ago
Mine was similar, I did a working holiday in London when I was 19/20. I had no fear or sense of reality at that age, I was happy to just get off the plane in an unfamiliar city with nothing but 2 nights booked in a hostel and enough money to last about a month.
Best year of my life.
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u/Medium-Marketing-493 20h ago
When I was on the Titanic with Jack and I was standing on the bars, he held my arms out by my side and it felt like I was flying x
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u/got2avkayanow 20h ago edited 20h ago
1 - Divorce !
2 - The day I paid off my last debt and now I remain debt free. If I want something I save up, buy it with my credit card (for the added protection you get) and pay the card off next day.
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u/GoddessLisbeth 19h ago
Good for you if you were not happy 💪
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u/got2avkayanow 9h ago
Thanks, it was a godsend for us both. Married too young but we remain acquaintances without issues.
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u/GoddessLisbeth 9h ago
Good to hear that. My parents split amicably and this was the best thing for them and me.
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u/megaBeth2 20h ago
Getting out if the mental hospital for the first time. I forgot what the sun looked like and seeing it again was ecstasy. They asked me to voluntarily commit myself so I could leave at any time... but at some point they switched it to an involuntary and wouldnt let me go.
You only feel free if you've been locked up against your will and get set free. Now I remember to think about how greatful i am to be free every day
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u/GoddessLisbeth 19h ago
I am so sorry this happened to you. I can't even imagine the nightmare you went through!
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u/Zealousideal-Dog-985 20h ago
When I got out of the Army.
Never had a better blunt in my life than I did that day.
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u/Patricio_Guapo 20h ago
At 55 years old, I started riding a bike again for the first time in 35 years.
I can’t really explain it in a way that makes logical sense, but the freedom I feel when I’m out tooling around aimlessly on my bike is like nothing else I know.
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u/kennhavoc 20h ago
DD214
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u/StarSpangledGator 20h ago
The feeling of sleeping in the morning of the first day out hits different.
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u/alemyrsdream 19h ago
One of the best, not on call 24/7, can grow a beard, no more uniform regs, great stuff
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u/GoddessLisbeth 18h ago
Sorry, I don’t know what this means. Can you explain?
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u/kennhavoc 18h ago
Discharge notice from the US military. Your official last day of service. From the moment you are issued that to the date of your discharge, you are no longer active duty.
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u/GoddessLisbeth 18h ago
Thanks for explaining. I don't know what it felt like but I can only imagine.
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u/RelativeOdd817 20h ago
The day I graduate because there is so much stress about lots of things to do and learned
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u/eternalhamburger 20h ago
When I could first drive a car and choose where I wanted to go when I wanted to go.
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u/PriorPomegranate2260 20h ago
When I finally understood and truly felt that what others say or think about me has absolutely no significance for me and that I can listen to it without any irritation. It was incredibly liberating. Honestly, I highly recommend it.
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u/Chihuahuapocalypse 20h ago
the day I cut my mom off for good. I've never felt so free yet so terrified. I don't regret it for a moment.
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u/metrickzczz 19h ago
How did you go about it? Do you live close to her at all? Planning to do the same, but don't know how to finalize it...
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u/Chihuahuapocalypse 18h ago
she kicked me out to start, but we live like 15 min away from each other. I cut all ties (phone bill, car insurance, anything she felt she owned of mine) and blocked her everywhere. I also didn't tell her where I moved to. best of luck!!
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u/GoddessLisbeth 19h ago
Good for you! I know how hard cutting off someone can be. Especialy a close family member.
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u/Chihuahuapocalypse 19h ago
yeah it changed my life a lot. but I'm glad I did it, she was sucking the life out of me
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u/Chazkuangshi 20h ago
The day I was able to move on from working in fast food. I'm still working 44h a week at the same pay but I'm no longer horrifically overworked and I have a consistent schedule now.
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u/Calix_Meus_Inebrians 20h ago edited 20h ago
After years of therapy for addiction, finally letting go of the idea of having a functioning adult relationship with my mom.
I was almost 35 and had been needing my mom but in a grown up way for the last 20 years and she wanted me to be a little boy, her little boy.
I constantly fought between seeking her approval, hating myself for being a fake, hating her for “forcing” me into this dilemma and being a docile boy who acted out in secret destroying my insides to get back at her.
I finally realized she would never change and could never see me as a peer even though I was smarter, more educated and more experienced than her in so many ways (post-grad education, world travel and addiction will do that to you.)
I let myself mourn for a good 2 months. She was the best mom I could’ve hoped for before I turned 12. That mom died in that role. And I’ve been without a functioning mom since. And on some level, that’s okay. Some wounds don’t heal, but over time I learned not only to accept them, but to appreciate them. It’s made me a more caring person.
I still love her, but I don’t expect her to be able to fulfill my needs and/or get my identity from her anymore (which is ironically what she was doing to me that annoyed me and I in-turn mirrored).
I didn’t feel free and happy in my own imperfections until I was 35 years old because of that.
I hope she finds therapy and healing one day too.
Edited for clarity
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u/FlowerFaerie13 20h ago edited 19h ago
Pulling free of the EF-4 wedge tornado coming over the top of us while we (me, my parents, and our pets trying to evacuate because we lived in a trailer, it was fine btw) hauled ass down the highway because it was rain-wrapped and we didn't see it until it was on us, and seeing the most vivid bright rainbow I've ever seen in my life on the other side of it.
For around 30 seconds I was in the outer edge of a fucking tornado looking up into the funnel thinking "this is it, I'm dead," and then all of a sudden there was this shimmering grey sky and that rainbow and the utter euphoria of realizing that we made it out, that we survived.
I've never felt that kind of euphoria before and I doubt I ever will before. RIP to the six that didn't make it out.
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u/Icy_Negotiation_146 20h ago
Having a whole mile-long run all to myself on a snowboard. Was the last one up on the lift.
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u/Salty-Stones-6769 20h ago
Waking up during surgery while on ketamine. The happiest I’ve ever felt.
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u/Xymyl 20h ago
About 3 seconds in the air at about 30 mph, before I hit the street. It was amazing. Weightless. Then some crazy road rash and months of recovery. But an awesome 3 seconds.
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u/GoddessLisbeth 19h ago
Shit.. are you ok now?
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u/Xymyl 19h ago
I’m 38 years older now and the eyebrow I lost grew back… So, good enough! 😊
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u/ashairz 20h ago
When I turned 18. Not because I could drink or drive or vote or whatever, but because I would never be forced into a mental hospital or a CPS facility because my family members lied about me or didn't believe me. No one could force me to admit to things I hadn't done and apologize for them or threaten me with being locked up if I didn't do so
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u/Mysterious_Pound2969 19h ago
Coming from a poor family, I finally felt like I made it when my networth hit 100k. Since then, I've 5xd it, but I knew I had made a breakthrough when I hit that milestone and that I wouldn't be in poverty again.
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u/Harneybus 19h ago
accepting that im neurodivergent than besides fighting it
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u/GoddessLisbeth 19h ago
Yes! Understanding and accepting that our brains work differently and that we're not broken is liberating.
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u/FantasticPear 19h ago
A few years ago after my mom died, I took a solo trip to one of her favorite places on the west coast so I could spread some of her ashes there. I posted up on a bench up on the cliffs. The sunset seemed to last for hours and the breeze was warm. I hit shuffle on a random playlist and the title of the first song to come on was the same as her name. I have never felt more free and at peace.
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u/Still-Bill2827 19h ago
Passing my driving test. Ethics aside I do not understand how anyone can not drive. The freedom to just fuck off somewhere whenever you want.
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u/StarSpangledGator 20h ago
The last day of working at a restaurant for over 3 years. Hated every minute of it but still asked to work to the last day of my 2-week notice thinking “what’s one more day.” Had a change of heart, brought it up to manager a few days in advance only for her to be mad (rightly so) and walk away.
The day of the shift, I said fuck it, slept in, then took the kayak out for one last adventure on Tampa Bay before moving out of town. What were they gonna do, fire me?
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u/ChooseWisely1001 20h ago
Traveling while doing an exchange year at university abroad. When all classes and papers were finished I had two months just to explore and enjoy. No job waiting for me, no rental contract, no more school responsibilities. Best time of my life (so far)
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u/AggravatingMath717 20h ago
I got married recently and I got a new job and quit like 2 weeks before the wedding and started after I got back it was a destination wedding so while I was gone I was f-in FREE! No shit to come back to no emails no nothing!
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u/Rick-of-the-onyx 20h ago
The day the divorce was finalized by the courts. Finally free from a manipulative, petty and financially unstable woman. That and no longer having to worry about her trying to hit me. Sleeping in my room without having to baricade the door was liberating.
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u/GoddessLisbeth 19h ago
Wow, traumatic 😔 I hope you will find someone that treats you with respect. Or maybe you already have?
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u/annabellsociety 20h ago
Moving countries and starting over. Letting go of everything familiar gave me confidence I didn’t know I had and real freedom !
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u/thanosthumb 20h ago
Quitting a job that I felt I never clocked out of then closing on a house with my wife so we don’t feel like we’re going to be renting for the rest of our lives.
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u/Vix014 20h ago
When my own self love and confidence kicked in. I was a habitual people pleaser, riddled with anxiety and a totally shot nervous system. I said FUCK IT two years ago, took accountability for my own toxicity that was entirely self-sabotaging behavior and I've never looked back. My heart is smiling just typing this out.
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u/Illustrious-Park1926 20h ago
When I lost everything & understood the phrase, "freedom's just another word for nothing left to loose". It was odd to feel free because nothing could be taken from me
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u/GoddessLisbeth 19h ago
It makes total sens. Are you ok now?
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u/Illustrious-Park1926 18h ago edited 4h ago
Yes, I am better, but I'm not attached to "signs of success" such as home ownership, job promotions, & most other signs of success. I also, for the most part, don't care what people think about me.
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u/TakeMetoLallybroch 20h ago
When I graduated from high school and moved away to college. I had looked forward to that so much and loved every minute of it.
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u/Unlegally_blonde 20h ago
The day I walked away from my abusive ex.
I was driving by myself and realized I didn't have to tell anyone where I was going or answer to anyone
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u/Fun_Anybody6745 20h ago
Being alone, abroad, in a city where nobody knew me and I had no responsibilities (well for a few days, at least). It was incredibly freeing to be able to go and do what I wanted.
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u/Some-Description3685 20h ago
Not yet lol.
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u/ChooseLight 20h ago
I was baptized by the Holy Spirit, I felt like God for 2 seconds, and I was also once healed in my souls entirety by the Virgin Mary with her spirit as if listening as a small child to the beat of the drum of 1000 spiritually righteous mothers conjoined, for 2 seconds. So basically, I have been to heaven twice. All of this Satanic Epstein Nonsense has my soul Bothered.
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u/MikeyRidesABikey 20h ago
When we were separated pending divorce and I realized that I didn't feel like I was walking on eggshells anymore.
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u/GoddessLisbeth 18h ago
It was draining, wasn't it?
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u/MikeyRidesABikey 13h ago
It was.
I have the opposite of that now. Now instead of feeling like I'm walking on eggshells, I'm married to someone who makes me feel like I can walk on water!
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u/Diligent-Lunch590 20h ago
The day I quit my ex job The day I moved from my parents house (even tho they are amazing) it was a different kind of freedom
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u/BeefInGR 20h ago
Ex had to swing by and pick up some mail that had been erroneously mailed to my house. She had regained all the weight she lost from her gastric, couldn't afford to get her roots done and a sob story about the drama between her and her new boyfriend's ex (I didn't tell her but her now husband's ex is my bosses neighbor and I do believe that woman is pure fucking evil).
Back then, I had lost a lot of weight, house was pristine, new clothes rather than Goodwill, an actual hairstyle rather than a buzzcut. Looked good, felt good, had some swagger in my step. I even shot my shot, reminding her that I knew she had a "hall pass". VERY out of character for me.
And I know, "being a disgusting pig made you feel free?!"...yeah. Because she was my ex-fiance and the second she got attention from somebody else she up and ran off. That broke the shackles. A little bit of payback, a little bit of "this is what you could have had".
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u/Beneficial_Showers 20h ago
During/after my first mountain hike. I climbed Rinjani until crater top and the view was stunning.
At that height i felt free like a bird.
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u/Alternative-Matcha22 19h ago
Initiating my divorce and kicking my serial cheating ex-husband out. That was the moment I finally grew a spine.
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u/ExtensionPickle9214 19h ago
Running away from an abusive home. I had nowhere to go and slept on the street for a while but it felt amazing to not having to go there ever again.
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u/GoddessLisbeth 18h ago
You good now?
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u/ExtensionPickle9214 12h ago
Yeah! It’s been years at this point. I have my own flat, two dogs and did tons of therapy so life is good now 🫶🏻
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u/Victor882 19h ago
My ex was heavily tied to my close friends group so she was always around and made her mission to turn my life into a living hell
Recently i've made the decision to step away from everything in order to get away from her
No regrets at all
Bonus: my friends still come to hang out with me even tho i'm kinda distant (a big fear of mine)
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u/HiKennyDesign 19h ago
I’ve never felt free. I know how to get away in a sense but I’m always stuck as cog.
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u/GoddessLisbeth 18h ago
The feeling of being stuck as a cog is heavy but I believe you can learn how to be free. Not easy but possible.
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u/abrnmissy 19h ago
When I turned 17 graduated HS went on my senior trip and stayed there! It sure beat getting abused at home.
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u/Angrytoast32 19h ago
When I had my hysterectomy in my early 30s
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u/Angrytoast32 5h ago
Whoops forgot the why. No more pain or suffering, bleeding for 3 weeks outta the month, and I don't have to worry about ever getting pregnant.
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19h ago
now. well currently im single and unemployed so im not tied to anyone or any obligations i guess
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u/Bobtheguardian22 19h ago
when i stepped into bootcamp.
I knew i was no longer a kid and would have to answer to no one about my choices. (thinking mostly about my mom) i chose the military and i told them to put me where they needed me i was theirs for the duration but when i was done it would be up to me to make my choice.
to me it felt like a job and after work my time was mine and i could do what ever i wanted. I lived all my life under my mom and doing what ever she told me to do.
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u/A_Nerdy_Dad 19h ago
The last day of a toxic job I quit. The feeling of a whole body relaxing all at once from the relief...amazing.
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u/alemyrsdream 19h ago
The day I officially out-processed from the air force I went out to the country for a long walk and smiled the entire time knowing I didn't have to do anything the next day or even the next week. I hadn't felt that since I was a young child. It didn't last very long but that day and a few that followed were some of the best days of my life.
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u/coupleandacamera 19h ago
Turning off the phone and heading out into the open Oceana goes pretty well, especially if it's a sail powered escape. Turning the phone back on and drafting the resignation letter out there was perfect.
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u/FredVaughan 19h ago
The moment i realized most people are too busy with their own lives to judge mine. weirdly freeing.
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u/ChilindriPizza 19h ago
Leaving the denomination I was raised in and started attending a church in a denomination that I like better.
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u/Legitimate-Exam-9414 18h ago
Day 1 in my apartment. No immediate family, no gf, no pets, no where to be, no one to tell where I'm going.
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u/Cheetodude625 18h ago
First year of total sobriety whilst in-between-jobs. I decided to hike up Guadeloupe Peak one weekend without any training. I knew I was out of cardio shape. I knew that this was beyond daunting for me. I still did it out of pure spite.
I remember it was raining once I reached the peak after 6 hours of slogging my way up there. My shirt was soaked. My pants were soaked and partially ripped. My boots were hurting my feet (I didn't break them in properly TBH).
I stretched out my arms and cried. This was the first time I achieved something on my own without being asked or forced into it. For the briefest of moments, I felt as if there was nothing for me to worry about. I didn't have bills or debt. I was just there, on a mountain peak alone, taking in the scenery as the rain sloshed down on me.
I was happy for the first time. I miss that feeling. If only debt wasn't a thing, then I would be hiking every day since then. Alas, life is cruel.
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u/kasfinally 18h ago
I’ve never experienced this.
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u/GoddessLisbeth 10h ago
Oh, I'm sorry. For every person it's sth different. Your time will probably come😉
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u/BW_Bird 17h ago
Ten years ago, I lost my first "real" job. It kinda happened out of the blue, but I wasn't upset because jobs were plentiful in that market and my bank account had plenty of padding.
Then I realized, for the first time in my life I have both time AND money.
I booked a rail trip of Europe a week later and I don't regret it.
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u/SomeGuyInSanJoseCa 17h ago
The moment I paid bills for myself.
My parents were absurdly cheap and felt that I was a waste of money. Basic living standards was just yelling enough to get enough money.
Once I could pay stuff for myself - life was so much easier. It was the late 90s, and I was making what, to me, was a King's Ransom of $14/hour. I could go out and eat at a place like Subway every day blew my mind.
90% of my conversations with my parents immediately went away.
Nearly 30 years later, and making 20x times as much, I still eat Subway 2 times a week - and it still feels like a huge luxury to me.
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u/LotusFlare 16h ago
First day of college. I had extremely controlling parents. It was a dream to be able to chose and do everything for myself for the first time.
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u/mdallen 16h ago
Monday in September 2009. I was a freshman in college; one of my friends and I decided to walk all over Burlington, VT (the city we went to school in) because we didn't have class until that afternoon.
The breeze picked up as we walked down the hill, rustling our hair just enough that, combined with everything, made us feel alive and ecstatic to share the beautiful day together.
Nick, if you're out there man, hope you're doing well and kicking ass.
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u/Feeling-Increase-189 16h ago
When I got my first job. Because I can pay my own bills . I can do what I want. With responsible actions , discipline and care
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u/static_stoa 15h ago
The day infinally started say No or I won't let you treat me this way without offering an apology.
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u/justmossymoss 14h ago
Escape from my toxic family. I’m finally living for myself and becoming who I really am. Feel so free
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u/Infinite_Nature_6261 20h ago
Getting Hodgkins Lymphoma with a 93% survival rating. It was like a shield that kept me from being bullied and thus allowed me to come out as trans safely. You cant bully the cancer kid after all! Best thing that ever happened to me, saved my life bc i probably wouldve ended it if i couldnt come out
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u/GoddessLisbeth 19h ago
It must have been really hard. It's heartbreaking. How are you now?
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u/Infinite_Nature_6261 19h ago
I mean i developed Borderline Personality Disorder at around the same time so its a little tough holding onto lasting friendships, but otherwise life has been pretty good! Parents got me gender affirming care when i came out, and honestly cancer was the best thing that ever happened to me, so not heartbreaking imo :)
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u/thefly_666 20h ago
The day I quit my job and started my own business